What difference does it make?
by Beth81955
Summary: When the truth comes out, what difference will it make? Written from Sam.N POV but will include others as well. P.S sorry if its rubbish its my first fanfic
1. Chapter 1

It had been three years since I last stood in front of this building… Holby City ED  
I wonder if he knows it's me. All the army said was Major Nicholls of the Royal Army Medical Corps is searching for a job as a doctor. Would you mind interviewing her? He was always a bit slow when it came to putting one and one together. Oh well that doesn't matter now; I'm here now that's all that counts. Three… Two… One…

I Walk up to the reception there's one hell of a long queue I suppose you would expected nothing less for a Friday night in a ED I push my way to the front while getting horrible stares from everyone else in line but what do you expect. The guy behind the desk is telling me I can't push in like that but I just ignore him.

"Hello…" I examine his name tag for a while "… Noel, I'm looking for Mr Jordan"

"And you are?" He replies.

"Major Nicholls or Samantha Nicholls, Not sure what I'm down as"

"Sorry Miss Nicholls but I can't see your name on system, why are you here?"

"I'm here for a…" All of a sudden I hear the sound of a heart rate monitor crashing I run towards the rhesus area I hear Noel babbling on about how I shouldn't be doing this but I carry on as I seem to be the only one around so I shout to the nearest nurse that I need a crash kit and start CPR until she gets one to me then I get out the defib and ask the nurse to stand clear and then I shock… and he's back in sinus rhythm. As I turn to ask the nurse her name I spot none other than Nick Jordan at the door.

"Erm Mr Jordan I'm sorry I know I shouldn't have done that but there was no one else around to help him" I look at him apologetically

"Sam, is that you?" Is all he can say? I can see the shock on his face it's understandable it had been over 3 years. At least the nurse only thinks it down to me using a defibrillator when I don't work in the ED.

"Yes, Mr Jordan it is, I'm so sorry let me explain"

"Sam you can explain in my office but don't worry I would have done the same thing. Thank you staff nurse Andrews for assisting Sam" He's not angry with me I could of killed that man I knew nothing about him maybe he's just saying that as the nurse is around well at least I know her name now

"Mr Jordan, you know I only did it as she seemed to know what she was doing I wouldn't just give any old stranger a defib." Staff nurse Andrews replied

"Linda stop worrying I know and trust you more than you think, now Sam lets go have this interview" I follow him to his office giving Linda one last smile on the way out.

On the way to Mr Jordan's office I passed by many other doctors and nurses who all look very busy, even if I get turned down I would like to go out with these people they seem like they can have a good laugh.

"Sam, are you coming in or are we having the conversation in the hallway?" He asked in a mocking tone.


	2. Chapter 2

**_AN - Thank you for your reviews it made me feel great! Also I meant that he would be mad at her for using a defib on a patient she new nothing about which could end up making the situation worse. _**

_"Sam, are you coming in or are we having the conversation in the hallway?" He asked in a mocking tone. _

"Sorry I didn't realize we were here I was too busy taking in the surroundings" Something I have always done people think it was down to having to assess the situation in the army but it started way before then.

"I know I just want to have a chat to you please come in" he gestured towards the door but im more amazed by the fact he remembered!

"Of course" I say as I walk in as if I own the place. I take a seat on his desk and wait for him to begin

"Sam what's wrong with the sofa?"

"I would prefer to sit up here thanks and anyway what do you want to talk about do I get the job or not simple really." I say with no expression on my face

"Sam of course you get the job! But I wanted to talk about other things"

"Really Thanks and what other things?"

"The fact my daughter had just turned up in my ED saved a patient's life and got a job all without saying Hello and giving me a hug" As he says it I realize I have turned up out of the blue and not once said Hello, I jump up and give him a hug

"Hey Daddy I've missed you and sorry I didn't say anything before I can explain"

"Please do Samantha, I would love to hear it and I'm sure your mother would too" I knew turning up here out of the blue would shock him but I thought he would be happy that I have left the army and got a job in Holby would make him happy and then he wants to get my mother involved, I haven't spoken to her since I was 14 and besides what difference does it make to her whether I'm here or not? Who knows and let's hope he likes my explanation.

"Daddy I'm sorry okay I couldn't go on out there working not after what I did, I killed him Daddy I killed him yet it's my job to save people. I had to leave and the only place I could think of was here as I needed to work as well so I got them to ring you. I'm sorry I've let you down. Please don't tell her I'm back she has no need to know for all I know she doesn't even know that I joined the army she would kill me after I promised I wouldn't and I didn't just break the promise to her I broke it to Jack as well" I'm in tears while looking at him, I hope he will listen to me I do not want to ever see her again!

"Sammy, don't cry. I won't call her don't worry I haven't spoken to her for year either not after blaming me for what happened to you and Jack" He tells me with a sympathetic look on his face, He comes over and hugs me. "Sammy, you stay here and calm down I'll go get us some coffees and tell them I have a mountain of paperwork and not to disturb me. Sound like a plan?" He lets me go and signals towards the sofa as I take a seat he leaves.


	3. Chapter 3

_**AN - Glad you like my little family and yes tom will come in to the story **_

(Nick's POV)

I didn't expect her to turn up like this. I missed her so much not once did she write to me or phone me, surely she knew I would be shocked after all Jack well I miss him so much he was reported MIA when Sam was 14 and her life just took a turn for the worse and that's when her mother left us I was with Sam every step of the way and with Dylan and her friends help we got her back on track. We tried so hard to keep her here but when Sam's made up her mind there's no changing it. Well she's back now and sat in my office in a right state, I'm going to phone her friend Lauren she can always bring a smile to her face.

On the Phone  
"Hello, Lauren sorry to disturb you it's Nick"

"Nick, please don't tell me what I think you are going to"

"Calm down Lauren I phone to tell you my beautiful baby girl is back!"

"What Sam's home she not due back for another 3 months?"

"I know I was just as confused, no need to worry though she's not hurt physically but I think it has all become a bit too much mentally"

"Oh no, are you at home I'll come round and see her?"

"Ah no we are in my office at work, I was phoning you to ask you to come around. Maybe you get some others and take her out for a drink?"

"Sounds like a plan I sort something out and be at the hospital in about 15, do you think you can keep her there that long?"

"I'm sure I can, see you soon bye"

"Bye"  
Hangs up. Great Lauren's on the way, I better hurry up with those coffees or she will be on to me.  
(End of POV)

Where is he its freezing in here I wonder how he managers to work in here every day. Someone's at the door it must be him he told everyone he didn't want to be disturb…

"Hey, Nick how you doing. Still up for that dri…" The woman stares at me for a while "You're not Nick" She States the obvious

"I could say the same to you…" I look at her with a puzzling look

"Well, little missy I not sure who you are or why you are in here but I on the other hand am the senior doctor at this hospital looking for the lead consultant Nick Jordan" she tells me sounding rather stern. I'm sat here with tears in my eyes still and this 'Doctor' still hasn't noticed she must be a good one…

"Nice to meet you I guess. I'm Sam, Dr Nicholls and as of tomorrow I start work here. I'm a Specialist Registrar in Emergency Medicine" I say fighting back the tears. Where is Nick!

"Well it's nice to meet you too Sam. I'm Dr Hanna, Zoe. May I ask why you are upset?" She seems a lot nicer now we have cleared things up a bit.

"You can and you did but I would rather not talk about it. Mr Jordan will be back soon to talk to me" I shot her a fake smile.

"As long as you're sure, Can you tell Mr Jordan I would like a word after you two are done?" She asks. She must have brought my fake smile.

"Of course…" Nick walks through the door "… Or you could tell him or self"


	4. Chapter 4

_**AN - Well today was officially my last day at college so im a bit lost on what to do with myself but it should mean I have more time to wrote :D Enjoy it's very Sam/Nick :)**_

"Zoe may I help you?" Asks Nick

"It's not important; it can wait as I see you are busy" Zoe smiles and walks out.

"Sorry I took so long I couldn't remember how you take your coffee" Nick says trying to look a little bit sad.

"I don't mind I'll drink it any way now but I do prefer it with milk and two sugars" I say smiling not wanting to be rude.

"Well that's great as I got it with milk and two sugars but I must say you are sweet enough already"

"Shut up Daddy, you always go all cheesy on me."

"Sam, I need to know what you want to be called around here and you do know that Dylan works here too right?" Here we go with the 20 questions. Will he even understand when I say I want to be Sam Nicholls not Sam Jordan?

"Yes I know he works here but you do as well I looked up all the options and this one seemed best I couldn't go start at St James's where I know no one so I came to the decision that Holby would be the better option" I tell him trying to avoid the name situation but he won't let it drop.

"Sammy or should I say Dr Jordan" He is doing this to wind me up I know he is.

"Dad I'm Dr Nicholls, not because I want her name but because I just want to be me Samantha Nicholls the ex-army Doc, not Samantha Jordan the Famous surgeons daughter I'm not doing for any other reason" I hope he understands

"Sammy don't worry I guess you don't want any one to that I'm your father then and I understand that you want to be known and loved for your skill not mine" He showed great understanding when he looked at me

"I will sort it out with Dylan about the whole name thing and I'm planning on giving him divorce papers but I also don't want anyone thinking I got my job because I'm married to Dylan"

"Sammy you don't have to let anyone into your private life and don't worry about what they will think of you, you are an amazing doctor and you are also very loveable and your tough don't let anyone break you" Nick said, he completely understands

"Thanks for the coffee, I feel much better now"

"I thought you would my coffee can cheer anyone up" He says looking very proud of himself.

"Sorry to burst your bubble Daddy but it wasn't the coffee, it was just being here with you" I giggle a bit while trying to keep a straight face. Then there's a knock at the door.

"Sammy can you get that for me" Why is he asking me I don't know anyone here… but I walk over and open the door anyway.

"Surprise" Oh my god it's Lauren what is she doing here… wait he asked me to get the door he must have planned it. I don't even know what to say so I just give her a hug instead.

"Your dad phoned and told me you where home so I thought you might want to come out for a drink and have a chat and catch up I have something really exiting to tell you" How did I know this had something to do with him but the offer sounded amazing so I had to go but what about Nick I can't leave him I've only just got here.

"That sounds like a great idea Lauren and what's this news tell me now please!"

"You'll have to wait and see" she laughs at me, she was always one for winding people up but that's why we all love her.

"Daddy, is it alright if I go?" I smile sweetly at him

"Of course I wouldn't of phoned Lauren and asked her if she was free otherwise" He sounded very logical there she told me he phoned her so of course he wanted me to go out and enjoy myself. As I get ready to leave and open the door he shouts

"Don't get too drunk it's your first day tomorrow"

Everyone just turned around and stared at me and Lauren how embarrassing.


	5. Chapter 5

**_AN - Sorry for not updating yesterday its my fault I have no reason so I shall update now and then maybe later on as well :) I hope you_**_** enjoy.**_

"Lauren what pub are we going to?"

"The one next door" she replies with that same warm smile she used to use on me. Just then the nurse who helped me earlier comes running our way.

"Hey, Dr Nicholls isn't it? How did the interview go?" Linda that lovely nurse from before asked

"Hi, Linda please just call me Sam and it went well I start tomorrow 9 o'clock sharp" I smile.

"That's great, I'm about to go meet everyone at the pub. Would you like to come?" She asks while smiling

"Thanks for the offer but me and Lauren have got some catching up to do, another time?" I only asked as I didn't want to seem rude.

"Sure see you tomorrow at 9 then" and she waved as she walked off

"I'm guessing that she works here" Lauren shot me a puzzled look.

"Yes she does and I thought you were the clever one" I joked as I ran off ahead.

"Oi you wait up" Lauren starts to run after me and I stop just before the pub and turn to see Lauren on her phone.

"Put that thing away it's just us tonight remember"

"Yeah, Yeah just go in already" She near enough shouts at me I wouldn't be surprised if the whole pub heard her.

"Alright, alright" I say as I push open the door.

"WELCOME HOME SAM" I turn to Lauren and just shake my head this was her and my dad's plan. I look around and I can see Amber, Chloe, Lindsey, Josh, Danny, Lee, Kelly and most people I went to school with.

"Thanks guys It's good to be back now who's buying me a drink?" I asked and every burst out laughing telling me to buy my drink so I walk off towards the bar with Lauren.

"I will have a glass of red wine please and what are you having Lauren?" I ask the barman pausing to ask Lauren.

"Lemonade Please" Lauren tells me, why she only wants Lemonade I don't know but oh well I will ask her later.

"And a Lemonade then please" I finish asking him

"That will be £6.10 please" The barman replies while going to pour the drinks. As I go to get some money out this guy appears behind us.

"Don't worry babe I'll pay" the guy said as the barman puts the drinks on the counter. "Can we also have a vodka and coke please" he asks and the barman walks off to get the vodka and coke.

"Hey I'm Sam and this is my best friend Lauren" I say pointing to her.

"Tom, nice to meet you" he holds out his hand to shake ours.

"Make that £9.10 then sir the barman asked handing over the drinks" Tom pays up and we walk away after thanking him.

"So why the lemonade" I quiz Lauren

"Well you remember my big news, I'm Pregnant" She replies

"Congrats, it is Dean's right? Where is he tonight?" I can't believe it she always thought it would be me to get pregnant first I mean I did marry Dylan when I was 17…

"Thanks, I can't believe it you know it just seems so unlike me to end up pregnant without planning. Oh Dean he working double shifts so we can start saving" She explains but I still have a hundred more questions to ask.

"Aww that's so sweet if I ever get pregnant I hope it's with someone who truly loves me. How far gone are you?" I ask her to try and cover up what I just said she doesn't know about the affair I guess I should tell her though I mean I can't cover up a divorce and that fact I haven't mentioned Dylan once to her must seem odd…

"12 weeks and Dean's been there for me the whole time! What did you mean about finding someone who truly loves you? What about Mr Keogh" Crap how can I get around this one.

"That's great about you and Dean he must really care and I can tell he will be a great dad" If I drop it hopefully she will too. Amber came running over and dragged us to the dance floor although I really don't feel like dancing so once Lauren had gone I slip out side for some fresh air.


	6. Chapter 6

**_AN - Second chapter to make up for it :) - THis is just a little chapter about Sam and what she is thinking about at the moment. - Tom will become part of the story and become involved with Sam but first there will be a bit of background and inside story to him - Enjoy :D_**

Its freezing out here but I can't bear to be inside not after nearly admitting to Lauren my marriage has failed and it's entirely my fault maybe if I hadn't gone to Afghanistan against everyone's wishes but I couldn't not I needed to go I had to find him but unfortunately things didn't go quite to plan. After I got back from my first tour Dylan wasn't the same man I left behind and he had this dog Dervla It was called she seemed to have taken over his life he had no time for me and didn't ask me any questions or answer any I asked. So without much convincing to stay from Dylan I left and went back out to Afghanistan it was nice out there being one of the only girls I always got attention but this attention went a little too far when I started to sleep with Corporal Ian Dean. Things where great it was almost as if we were a couple it was meant to be a secret but I think everyone knew but it didn't bother us. After returning home to Dylan from my second tour things where just as bad if not worse I cut my break short after telling Dylan I couldn't take any more of the elephant in the room and I was leaving him as I was having an affair. I went back out for my third tour little did I know that it would be my last every night while on tour I thought about Dylan and how if I stayed we could have maybe sorted out the problems who knows I was still with Corporal Dean which in fact made the whole thing worse and after deciding and asking them to ring up Holby city asking for an interview I went a slept with him for one more night. I explained that I was leaving and it was nothing personal I just needed time away from Afghanistan I believe that Corporal Dean had figured out I was married that night and knew that was the really reason for leaving this was because I thought he was sleeping so I got out a picture of Dylan and my wedding ring I must have fallen asleep with them because when I woke I noticed he was holding them. He went mad at me up until the point his radio went requesting for our team to go out they told us we had 10 minutes to clear the building it was all going great until I came across a young boy asking for his father with only 2 minutes to spare I went in to the next room and saw him lying on the floor his name was Saleh and I noticed he was trying to pull a device from his pocket so I shot 3 bullets at him and he dropped what wasn't a bomb but an inhaler he was asking for help and I'm not sure what made me kill him maybe it was the fighting that me a Corporal dean did that morning or what but as soon as we were back at base I left without saying goodbye to anyone. I will never be able to forgive myself but I'm back now and here in Holby and I guess I should be getting back inside or they will notice I'm not there. As I re-enter the pub I notice Tom staring at me from the bar so I walk over an order another red wine.


	7. Chapter 7

**_AN - Hope you enjoy this one there is a little bit of Tom/Sam going on. - Sorry guys but i wont be able to update tomorrow and possibly Wednesday as I am going into hospital my self to have an Op - Shame Tom, Sam and Nick are not going to be my doctors :( _**

"Glass of red wine please" I ask the barman and get out my money while ignoring Tom the whole time.

"That'll be £4.00 please" The Barman ask while pouring the drink as he places it on the bar I hand over the money pick up the glass and walk back over to the group.

"SAM! Where have you been, I've looked everywhere for you" Lauren asked.

"I've been… You know what it doesn't matter where I've been" I drink the whole glass of wine "Let's go dance"

"What glass number is that? You know your dad would kill me if you turn up tomorrow with a hangover" Lauren said, she had always tried to look out for me but I was never very good at listening.

"Only my second, besides I could drink a whole bottle and be fine" I argue back.

"Maybe before you left for Afghanistan don't forget it's been over 4 months since you last came out drinking with us" She responded very calmly I knew what she was saying was right but I really just want to drink until I couldn't remember anything.

"Can we just go enjoy ourselves please" I begged her not wanting to talk about it.

"Fine but give me your money no more alcohol for you" I hand it over with a grumpy face knowing she has a very good point though.

After dancing for a couple of hours I was beginning to get thirsty wondering how I'm going to get myself a drink I excuse myself to go the toilet. On my way to the toilet I bump into Tom and it gives me a great idea.

"Hey Sexy" I must admit he is rather sexy and I wouldn't mind going home with him.

"Hey beautiful, what can I do for you?" he ask looking at me with those gorgeous green eyes, I'm falling for this guy I don't even know.

"You could buy me a drink" I asked slightly tipsy already.

"Why can't you get your own drink? Besides after you ignored me before I don't know if I want to." He responses trying to look sad. I jump up and start kissing him and he just follows my lead and carries on our heads move in prefect sync and he starts to move his hands down my back until he reaches my bum and grabs it I just let him not caring about who is watching us. When we pull away for air I ask him again.

"What about now will you by me a drink?" I ask with a giant grin on my face.

"Of course I will anything for you sexy, what would you like?" he replies with a grin double the size of mine.

"A glass of red with a side course or you" I say winking at him as I start to walk up to the bar. He walks up behind me and tries to grab my waist at first I keep going ignoring it but after a while I just relax into his grip and we reach the bar.

"A bottle of red wine with two glass please" Tom ask the barman. While the barman is getting the drinks I rob a quick kiss from tom and excuse myself why I go to find Lauren. As I walk off I hear the barman talking to Tom.

"That will be £15.00 please sir and she's one hell of a beautiful woman you have their quite the charmer I'm sure I recognize her too anyway here's your wine enjoy" he says as he passes over the wine and Tom passes over the money. Just then I spot Lauren and walk up to her.

"Oh Sam I was just coming to find you, my heads banging I have rung Dean he going to come and take me home we can give you a lift if you like" That's so nice but how do I say I'm staying on here for a while with another guy.

"Lauren that's so kind but I'll be alright and anyway I will go see dad he's only next door he will give me a lift" I hope she brought that…

"Right well I'm just going to the toilet and then Dean should be outside and I will walk you to the ED" Lauren tells me, there's no getting out of this. While she goes to the toilet I quickly go and explain what happening to Tom.

"Tom, I will be about 5 minutes I'm just going outside to congratulate an old friend on becoming a father when he gets here and I will be straight back in" I tell him and I ruffle his hair as I walk off towards the toilets to meet Lauren. Me and Lauren go and say bye to last remaining friends who tell us they have ordered a taxi and are leaving now as well we all walk outside me and Lauren wait for dean while the others get into a waiting taxi. Dean pulls up Lauren hands me back my money, I congratulate them again and I walk towards the ED as they pull away I make sure they have gone before returning to the pub.


	8. Chapter 8

_**AN - Thanks the op went well although im in a lot of pain now :( - I hope you enjoy this chapter :)**_

I sneak up on Tom I had been gone for around 10 minutes not 5 I hope he's not mad at me.

"Boo" I shout as I tickle his sides and slide down into the chair next to him. He just turns around and laughs at me while pouring us each a glass.

"So the barman seems to think he knows you from somewhere, whys that" Tom askes.

"Woah what is this 20 questions?" I laugh "That's because he does this place is my safe heaven I used to come he all the time with my brother he is 6 years older than me but he is the best friend and my hero we used to come here and he would buy me a lemonade and tell me all these amazing war stories, he joined the army at 16 and whenever he was home from tour we would come here and just chat the night away but that was a very long time ago now" Why did I just tell a total stranger all of this I can't even talk to people I know about him I just get so upset I suppose I haven't seen him for 13 years and don't think we ever will see him again.

"That makes sense, how long ago exactly?" Tom asked I didn't think he was even listening let alone cared or was he just pretending to? You know what I don't really care it's nice to have someone to talk to.

"13 years" I reply

"Wow that is a long time no wonder he can't figure out if he knows you or not" he laughed as he said it. I just smiled and drank my wine.

"Slow down, the wines not going anywhere" Tom says.

"Scared ill drink all the wine?" I giggle.

"I could out drink you any day" He smirks and downs the rest of his cup.

"As nice as that challenge sounds I'm going to have to pass" I reply playing with my hair and looking straight at him.

"Whys that?" He asks.

"First day in a proper job for a while tomorrow boss will kill me if I turn up late with a hangover" I explain.

"You know you are so dam sexy how about we forget this wine and go back to me place" Tom says as he throws himself at my and starts kissing and grabbing me in all these different places I joined in with the kiss and left my hands wrapped around his waist. His plan sounded great I didn't have anywhere to stay tonight but just then his phone started to ring he looked down at it and had this look of worry on his face it must be serious so I sit here listening to what he has to say on the phone although it doesn't make much sense as I don't know who and what they are saying on the other side.

"What do you want; you promised you would take her for the weekend so I could have some time to myself"

"WHAT, how did this happen its 10:30 for fuck sake dad she should be in bed not running around the place"

"WELL WHY DIDN'T YOU TAKE HER IN EARLIER WHEN IT HAPPENED"

"NO DON'T TELL ME TO CALM DOWN GET HER INTO THE ED NOW!"

Tom then hung up I wonder what that was all about.

"Tom are you alright?" I ask he looks a little pale.

"Sam I'm fine I need to go, something's happened. I'm sorry" He replies.

"I understand I probably should get going as well it was nice meeting you" I say smiling.

"It has been nice maybe I'll catch you around?" Tom says as he gets up and walks out of the bar. I wonder what has happened and who 'She' is. I guess I'll never know as I will probably never see Tom again. I slowly get up and walk to the ED I think I'll just sleep in my dad's office tonight walking up to his office I saw Tom in the ED but my head was killing me maybe 4 glass of wine was a bit on the optimistic side considering I haven't had any for over 4 months so I just left it and went to sleep on his sofa.


	9. Chapter 9

_**AN - Sorry for not updating, The operation I had has left me in a lot of pain and I had to go back into hospital. any way the next ouple of chapters are going to be from Tom's POV :) - Enjoy P.s Happy fathers day Tom xD**_

(Tom's POV)

Nothing like this has ever happened to her she is a healthy little girl, my little girl my beautiful princess and she is never ill she's strong she fights everything but I just can't help but worry how could they be so stupid? Leaving her at home and sending her to be after what happened no wonder she got worse… Where are they why are they not here yet my little girl what's happening to her I need to see her why can't see breathe probably what started it all and why did they wait hours before they contacted me, my hearts racing I just need to have her in my arms again. I'm never leaving her with them again…

"This is Amelia Kent, 3 and ½ years old and is in Respiratory Distress. GS 15, BP 14/80 pulse 80." Dixie explains "Charlie can you page Dylan and get her on a ventilator. These are her grandparents"

I stand there in shock of what they are saying she looks so weak how did they let her get this bad and what started it in the first place I want to know but for now I better just go and see her.

"Mils my poor little princess, don't worry Daddy's here now" I say stroking her hair. I can see the look of confusion on the ED members faces but then I turn and notice him… I knew it was a bad plan to leave him alone with her he never helped in anyway but Mum promised he had changed I don't have time to fight with them and walk in to rhesus with Charlie and Dylan as they put her on the nebuliser they start to ask me all these questions about how it happened and why it might have triggered, where her Mother is and whether or not she has asthma. I don't know what to say or how to answer them I just stand there stroking her hair with tears silently rolling down my face. Dylan is paged and walks out leaving me with Charlie, Charlie walks over and starts to talk to me calmly about the situation.

"Tom I know how hard this must be, I'm a dad too. Should we contact her Mother?" Charlie questions while trying to sympathise with me.

"She left Charlie, I went to go see Amelia and when I returned she was gone she left without a trace she never even saw Amelia once. I hate her for what she did she also told me she didn't want a baby but I thought it might be different once it was born but as soon as she was well enough to leave she did." I say with the tears streaming down my face.

"Tom please can you explain that to me a bit better?" Charlie asks.

"She was 32 weeks and there was an accident at the school where she worked and it sent her in to labour when she arrived at the hospital then sent her under and preformed and emergency c – section and when Amelia was delivered she was rushed straight to intensive care where she was treated for RDS for the 10 days that Amelia was in intensive care not once did her mother visit her things hadn't happened as I expected so sat with Amelia day in and day out too scared to leave her side but on day 7 was we were told she could be taken of the ventilator I went in to tell her mother but I couldn't see her so I asked a nurse and they had told me she was discharged earlier that morning so I phoned her but she never answered I tried for months to contact her but I never could and after Amelia was out and back home I realised she needed me and that her mother didn't want her so I forgot about her and focused on Amelia and up until now she has been so strong and fought everything life through at her." I explained it trying to fight back the tears but it is so hard to talk about what has happened in her tiny little life.

"Come get a coffee Tom and talk to you parents she will be fine and I will even get Linda to stay in there with her if I have to." Charlie pleads with me but I'm too tired to fight back and agree, I do want to know how this happened.


	10. Chapter 10

_**AN - This is still about Tom but don't worry this story will have a happy ending with a happy little family but its going to be bumpy. - Thanks for the Army Info Tam4eva123 I did mean to say Thank you a while about but I have so much on my mind I forgot (Sorry) - Enjoy :)**_

(Tom's POV)

As me and Charlie get closer to the relatives room I try to imagine what there excuse will be or will they actually just tell me the truth. Charlie hands over my coffee and opens the door signalling for me to go in once in he closes the door and leaves us to it.

"It's all my fault" I breakdown in front of them, my parents and they just sit there as if nothing has happened.

"Tommy, I so sorry, is she going to be okay?" Alice (mum) questions.

"Thomas it was meant to happen I just didn't think and your mother thought she would improve and not have to be brought in, we didn't want to ruin your night" John (dad) Explains while trying to stay calm.

"WHAT SHOULDN'T HAVE HAPPENED?" I shout at him.

"Please try to understand" John still as calm as ever says.

"UNDERSTAND WHAT?" I'm so angry I can't help but shout at him.

"John or not making this any easier" Alice then turn to Tom "It is my fault I told you he had stopped but he hasn't I knew it all a long he just wanted to see her I didn't think he would be stupid enough to smoke in the same room as her I'm so sorry Tommy" Alice says with a tear rolling down her cheek. I just sat there confused on what I heard for a while.

"How many?" I ask John.

"What?" John replies.

"I SAID HOW MANY" I shout at him and throw a punch towards him, him managed to duck and I just hit the wall.

"6 or 7" John says with fear in his voice.

"6 OR 7 I TRUSTED YOU WITH MY DAUGHTER AND YOU SMOKED AROUND HER YOU OF ALL PEOPLE SHOULD UNDERSTAND HOW STUPID THAT IS AND FOR FUCK SAKE DAD WHY ARE YOU STILL SMOKING" I shout at him and storm off. And head back to Amelia's room. Calming myself down along the way

"How is she" I ask Linda.

"She is improving hopefully she will be awake and of the ventilator very soon but she will be kept in for at least 12 hours with regular Ob's" Linda explains. I go a sit at the side of the bed stroking my little princess's hair.

"How did that happen?" Linda asks pointing to my hand.

"I went to punch my dad missed and got the wall" I say just shrugging it of as if it ever happened.

"You should really get that check out" Linda tells me.

"I will be fine" I tell her and she leaves it at that. Just then my mum walks in.

"I will leave you two alone, Tom I will be just outside. You know the rules" Linda says sternly.

"I've come to see how you both are" Alice says.

"Well you might as well get a chair then" I tell her pointing to the spare one.

"Tommy, I'm so sorry I lied to you about your father he was just so upset that he never got to see her, he would hurt me every time I said her name I was scared I just needed to make you believe in him" She tells me while rolling up her sleeve to show my all the bruise and cigarette marks he had been using her as a human ash tray. I get up and walk over to her.

"Mum, why didn't you say something earlier we could of worked something out" I say while comforting her "We need to tell the police he injured you and threatened you just so he could but his grandchild at risk.

"Please Tommy don't do that it will just get worse what if he isn't locked up he will still be there to hurt me it will just get worse" Alice pleads with me.

"But look at the state of your arms." I near enough shout at her.

"It's not just my arms. My legs, back, chest anywhere he could hit me he would" Alice explains with tears falling.

"Mum did he rape you?" I ask a little bit more sympathetic. She nods. I storm out the room to go find him.

"Tommy don't this will only make it worse!" I hear Alice call after me. I run past Charlie on the way.

"Tom where are you going" Charlie questions, I don't answer him and he starts to run after me. As I make it to the relative room Charlie is still behind me trying to reason with me but I just throw the door open.

"I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU, YOU ARE SUCH A DISGRACE HITTING ME WAS ONE THING BUT HITTING MUM AND PUTTING MY DAUGHTER IN HOSPITAL IS ANOTHER YOU MAKE ME SICK!" I shout at him I go to hit him but Charlie stops me.


	11. Chapter 11

_**AN - This will be the last Tom POV Chapter for a while - Sorry for the late update - Hope you Enjoy :) - P.S if you haven't seen this then watch it . /programmes/p01bf90k That episode should be a good one (you should no what one I mean:P)**_

(Tom's POV)

I'm standing in front of disgusting man and I can't do anything I'm being restrained by Charlie and someone else not sure who though.

"WHY, WHY DID YOU DO IT" I shout at him and at the point security walks in and they grab Jack and escort him to the police and Charlie and Lloyd let go of me and Lloyd leaves me and Charlie alone to have a chat.

"Tom, talk to me" Charlie asks "What did you mean by hitting me"

"He used to hit me every time something went wrong right up until the point when he didn't have the energy to anymore I let him because he said if I ever told anyone he would kill me not even my mum knew what he did I never told on him because I didn't doubt what he said he was very capable of killing someone. It all changed when he got ill he spent loads of time in hospitals and hospices and by the time he was given the all clear I had left home I was too scared to go back in case he started again. I used to meet up with mum every week we would have coffee and a chat she would also give me money for the week I didn't need much being in medical school just enough to get me food for the week and so on. I was coming up to the end of medical school and was getting worried that I didn't have a place to stay and then I met Amy, Amelia's mum her parents welcomed me into their home. Not long after got a job and we managed to move out into our own flat but things then got hard after she became pregnant and I couldn't take all the stress of being around her all the time so that's when I transferred to St James and pulled double shifts until I physically couldn't work anymore then when I got the phone call telling me that there was an accident and she we being rushed to St James I got there straight away and waited for her and then it happened. What I told you earlier and I was not coping well so I left St James as they were always asking about her mother and I spent the first 2 and ½ years of her life looking after her with my mum, she was such a help and then she offered to let me go back to work which is when I got the job here and she would watch her for me while I was on shift." I confess to my horrible life.

"Tom, have ever spoke to anyone about this?" Charlie asks

"Never are you the first, please don't tell anyone" I say. By the look on Charlie's face he must understand and I know I can trust him, what difference does it make if I had a shit life? Then Linda comes running in.

"Dylan's going to take Amelia off of the ventilator" Linda tells us. I excuse myself from Charlie and run off to her room.

"Is she alright?" I ask.

"See for yourself " Dylan replied.

"Daddy" Amelia said in a very weak voice. My mum just smiled at me and left the room.

"Don't worry mils I'm here" I tell her as I stroke her hand. Once all the unneeded equipment had been removed I jumped up on the bed with her had we cuddled until we were both asleep.


	12. Chapter 12

**_AN - Sam's First day - Enjoy :)_**

"Sam, what are you doing in here" Nick asks shortly followed by Zoe. I've gone and done it now how am I meant to get out of this one.

"Mr Jordan sorry I was waiting for you and I must have dozed off. I was wondering if you could show me around" I say so casually hopefully wont suspect anything.

"I see, may I ask why you dozed off?" Nick asks. Zoe shoots this horrible look at me it's as if I had broken in, okay I technically had.

"New flat couldn't sleep probably. How about this little tour then" I reply trying to get out of having to talk to him any longer and explaining myself as I know it won't end well.

"Zoe you wouldn't mind showing Sam to the staff room and her locker there are clean scrubs and her name badge waiting for her there" Nick says and passes Zoe a key "This is her locker key" He smiles and gestures for us both to leave. He only did that because he's in a mood that I was there I could tell but he also can tell that me and Zoe don't get along all that well. We seem to have been walking for ages or maybe it was just the awkward silence between us.

"Well this is our amazing staffroom. Feel free to make yourself at home" Zoe says and then passes me the key "oh yeah I almost forgot your locker is number 18 I leave you to get changed" She turns to walk out of the room.

"Zoe" Dylan says with no expression.

"Good morning Zoe, how are you? I'm fine thanks you?" Zoe says sarcastically then adds in "It doesn't cost to be nice and be nice to the new girl or she might just run on her first day… because that would be such a shame" and walks off.

"Welcome to Holby, I'm Dylan" Dylan says. Rather nicely considering what he used to be like maybe he's changed since I left or maybe it was just because of what Zoe said.

"Yes I know you are" I reply and turn so he can see me.

"Sam, what are you doing here?" He asks in a rather shocked tone.

"The same thing as you my job" I throw him a smile and start to walk to the toilets to get changed. After changing I go and put my clothes in the locker and go down to reception to see where I'm needed.

"Just a quick word, as you may or may not know Tom will not be with us for a while after the events of last night but don't worry we have a new doctor on hand and I want you all to make her feel welcome." Nicks says and points to me "This is Doctor Nicholls"

"Hi nice to meet you all, please just call me Sam. Where would you like me?" I ask

"Tess, nice to meet you" She gestures towards a room "if you don't mind would you work in CDU that's where Tom would have been today. Don't worry you won't be on your own Dr Keogh will be in and out all day and also you will have our experienced Staff nurse Andrews and her student nurse, nurse Miller " Tess explains as we walk towards the unit. "If you need anything don't be afraid to ask anyone we are all here to help you." As I walk in I notice Linda so I walk over to her.

"Hi its Linda right" I ask her.

"Yeah, Sam isn't it" she replies.

"Mhm. I'm in here with you today is there anything that need doing?" I ask.

"Yeah that's great. There's lots it never stops in here. Bed 7 the little girl's name is Amelia she has been in overnight she just needs her stats checking if you don't mind." Linda points towards the bed and off I go. As I walk up to the bed and draw the curtains I have the shock of my life.


	13. Chapter 13

_**AN - A Little bit of TAM and Amelia**_

"Tom?!" I say shocked I didn't think I would ever see him again. Then it all clicks into place he works here I did see him last night when I went to the office and that must be his daughter. The events of last night, Linda said she had been in all night.

"Sam? What are you doing here" Tom asks just as shocked as me.

"My first day, the one where I wasn't meant to drink too much for but that idea went out the window my head is killing me, I over slept and was late. Me and first impressions are just amazing." I laugh as I tell him and he just laughs back.

"Now let me guess you must be Amelia?" I ask her, knowing full well it's her name. Amelia nods at me.

"Does Daddy call you Millie?" I ask her trying to take her mind off things as I check her stats.

"He does sometimes but its Mils lots of times" Amelia tells me with a big smile on her face.

"Mils, you don't mind if daddy pops to the toilet while Dr Nicholls is with you" Tom asks Amelia. She takes a while but nods in the end and tom excuses himself.

"So Amelia mind if I call you Millie?" she shakes her head. "How old are you?" I ask.

"3 but I'm going to be 4 soon daddy says he has a surprise for me" Amelia tells me.

"Really, that's a big number and I bet you it's going to be an amazing surprise. Will you be alright for 2 seconds while I pop around to the other side of the curtain to call the nurse I will keep it open and you will always be able to see me." I ask her I believe she is well enough to go home but I would just like to ask how many hours she has been under ob's.

"Okay but don't leave me or daddy will be cross." Amelia tries to say in an angry voice but it doesn't work she still sounds very cute.

"I won't I promise" and I step out from the curtain leaving it open so Amelia can still see me. "Linda can I have a quick word" I shout over to her and she comes over to see me.

"Sure what's up you have been in there for a while" Linda asks.

"Sorry about that me and Amelia have been having a little chat haven't we sweetie" Amelia nods. "Anyway I was thinking she should be able to go but I was just wondering how long she has been on ob's" I question Linda.

"Hmmm since 11:30 last night and its 10:30 so that's only 11 hours and we like to keep them for at least 12." Linda explains.

"Her fathers a doctor surely he will know if anything happens, what to do and to bring her straight back in." I argue for Amelia's case as she seems like she has had enough.

"Where is Tom?" Linda asks ignoring what I said.

"He just went to the toilet" I say and then carry on "look at the poor girl she clearly wants to go home"

"Sam, I'm hungry" Amelia adds.

"Sweetie I'm sorry but until you have been told you can go home I can't give you anything to eat." I tell her but she looks so upset. Where's Tom gone to the toilet… on the moon I wish he would hurry up I want to hear his views. Just the doors open but the reveal Dylan instead. Amelia starts to cry.


	14. Chapter 14

**_AN - updates might be hard as im spending the weekend away - camping o.o_**

"Oh sweetie don't cry your Daddy will be back soon, he's going to be the next person to come through those doors." I get up on the bed and give her a hug. "To tell you the truth I was disappointed when I saw it was Dr Keogh too" Amelia stops crying and starts to giggle.

"I didn't know you had a maternal bone in your body Sam" Dylan remarks when he sees that I stopped her crying. I hope Linda didn't hear that. "I've come to check up on my patient who just so happens to be Amelia" just then the doors open and reveal Tom and Amelia starts to smile but still holds on to me refusing to let Dylan check her over.

"Hey Mils what's the matter you've been crying" Tom asks sympathetically. Amelia just shots a horrible look towards Dylan.

"Dylan, Sam what's the problem you can sense the tension between you two from a mile off no wonder little Amelia is scared" Linda says as she walks over and the whole time Tom is just sat there confused. But I agree with Linda if me and Dylan are going to work in the same place we are going to have to sort out some issues. Since Linda said that as well Dylan's be looking at me with this horrible look on his face as if to say 'get out of my work place. You're ruining my job.'

"Can somebody please tell me what's going on?" Asks Tom.

"Tom I wish I could but you will have to ask one of these doctors" Linda comments "Sam, Dylan any one there?" She adds making us both jump a little not realizing we had both just been staring at each other.

"Look I'm not sure what it is with you two but you really need to sort it out" Linda says as she walks off to see to a different patient.

"Sorry Tom I should explain, Amelia is very tired and would like to go home she is also hungry so I checked over her stats with Linda and we thought as you are a doctor we could send her home. While waiting for you to come back she got a little bit upset and then Dylan came in I think she was hoping it was you and she began to cry. I calmed her down but when Dylan then came over to try and check her over she became anxious again which is when you walk in. I explain to Tom passing Amelia to him.

"Oh Mils there is no need to be scared Dr Keogh looked after you last night he only wants to make sure you are better and Sam of course I agree her stats are all fine and I would bring her straight back in if anything happened to her" Tom Answers looking to Dylan for agreement.

"Fine, do what you want. You always get your own way anyway Sam" Dylan adds as he walks off. He isn't making this easy soon everyone is going to be asking questions.

"Thanks Dylan" Tom calls after him "Sam thank you so much Amelia must like you a lot she never lets anyone pick her up who she doesn't know also what did Dylan mean you always do?"

"Me and Dylan go way back and to tell you the truth I was a bit of a spoilt brat back then but times have changed" I tell him "Now why don't you pack up yours and Amelia's things while I go get the discharge forms" I smile at Tom and walk out. I return with the discharge forms and hand them over for Tom to sign and I also hand Amelia a galaxy bar.

"Shhh don't tell your dad I gave that to you and only eat it when you feel much better" I whisper to Amelia.

"Thank you Sam, and I won't" she says with a giggle and tom just looks over and hands back the forms, picks up Amelia says bye and leaves.


	15. Chapter 15

_**AN - Back home early after we woke up with a chicken in our tent... P.s its a long chapter I was having a good day when I wrote it - Enjoy**_

This morning has been so stressful. I suppose it is my first day and I'm hung-over but Dylan didn't help the matter either I need to talk to him about that. Linda also questioned our relationship I wonder how long it will be kept a secret I guess not long if I can't talk to Dylan about it. Tom where do I even start the man I was flirting with all night works with me? I don't know how I manage to get myself here but after all that and the rest the feeling of being home in Holby is just amazing now I just need to find a bed to sleep on tonight. Oh well off to the staff room for some well-deserved coffee! When I get there, there is no one around so I had the raid the cupboards to find what I needed and just as the kettle boiled and I started to pour the water the 3 student nurse walk in making so much noise I nearly burnt myself.

"Hey Sam, is there enough water for us 3?" Robyn asks.

"There should be and it's just boiled none of you happen to have pain killers on you?" I ask them.

"I've got some in my locker, Jamie by the way" He reaches out to shake my hand before going over to his locker to get the tablets. He passes them over to me and I take 2.

"You're a life saver Jamie" I say.

"Not quite only a student one" He replies. He's quite the joker. I then turn to the other student who I am yet to learn her name.

"Sorry to sound rude but what's your name I've not been introduced to anyone around here." I ask her and try to explain why I don't know it.

"_Aoife, nice to meet you" She replies "So who do you know?" she then asks._

_"Well you 3, Linda, Tom, Mr Jordan, Charlie, Zoe and Dylan and I think that's it… oh I spoke to Tess this morning too" I tell them._

_"Well my mentor is Lloyd, he's a great nurse" Jamie told me._

_"Mines fletch, he's a right laugh and rather sexy but you can't have him, he's married with kids" Aoife says. When did being married stop me anyway I want to get to know Tom a little better._

_"Is there anyone in the ED you fancy?" Robyn asks._

_"Tom's not bad I wouldn't mind spending the night with him" I reply but as I said it Dylan walked in. I know we are separated but I know he still has feelings for me although it is all his fault we are._

_"Sam, you 3" Dylan says as he walks over to make himself some coffee. I think the other 3 can sense the tension between us and leave. Dylan then walks over and locks the door._

_"Look Dylan we need to talk" I say._

_"Really Sam you think" Dylan replied._

_"Look I'm sorry about how things happened between us but I think it was for the best we are completely different people Dylan. Times have changed, we have changed which is why I'm going to file for a divorce sorry Dylan it's just how it needs to be." I explain he looks at me with no expression._

_"You think a divorce is going to stop all this fighting between us? Well your wrong Sam you ruined it by being your usual spoilt self and leaving for the army at 18 we had barely been married a year and you left. Oh then a couple of years latter you think you can show up in my place of work not even using your proper name Dr Samantha Keogh and everything would be alright between us well you are wrong and don't expect me to make this easy for you, oh yeah what does your father think of his little princess using her mother's name" Dylan says in his usual tone._

_"My Father is proud of me thank you very much and also very happy to see me. You know I only went to war for one reason and I guess you just never understood but then again I wouldn't expect you too" I say unlocking the door and walking back to CDU._

_Chapter 16_

_"Linda what have you got for me" I say trying to keep the anger from my voice._

_"Unknown Male in bed 2 only just arrived, query broken arm also covered in cuts a bruises" Linda tells me handing over an x-ray slip "He's had 5 of morphine and he's a bit restless. Just shout if you need help." _

"Hi I'm Dr Nicholls but you can call me Sam. What's your name?" I ask him while just checking him over.

"Jacob" he Reply's he looks no older than 16 he was clearly scared.

"Okay Jacob mind telling me how it happened?" I ask and he just turned the other way.

"Well what about how old you are?" I ask. He didn't want to answer me but I just waited until he did I wonder why he hadn't told any of the paramedics his name.

"15" Jacob mumbles.

"You do know we need to call your parents, right so a surname would be great" I ask and I open the brace the paramedics put on. As examined the area he winced in pain and turned around.

"Garcia, Jacob Garcia is my name" He answered. But turned away as he said it as if to try and hide who he is.

"Right well Jacob I'm going to go book you in for an x-ray and get your notes also I am going to need to phone your parents" I tell him as I get ready to walk away.

"Please you can't they won't care" Jacob calls after me.

"Its duty of care Jacob I am required to do so" I try to tell him but he just ignored me.

"Please Sam I'm begging you don't call them or next time it won't just be my arm" He pleads with me.

"What do you mean it won't just be your arm?" I question him and he goes all shy again.

"Look I said too much just book the x-ray so I can leave please." He asks.

"I can't do that not until you tell me what you meant I can sit here for as long as it takes Jacob" I tell him and sit myself on the side of his bed. "Linda" She comes over.

"What can I do for you Sam?" Linda asks.

"I would like you to get me Jacob Garcia, Notes please" I ask Linda she nods and walk off towards the door.

"So Jacob either you can tell me or your notes will tell me." I tell him. We are sat like this with him looking to the other side for 10 or so minutes when he finally mumbles…

"My Dad"

"What about your Dad, do you want me to call him?" I ask confused about what he meant.

"No!" Jacob shouts at me.

"Okay I won't calm down and tell me what you meant though"

"My Dad, he did this to me it's not the first and it won't be the last please don't call them I can't go back there." He says with tears in his eyes.

"Oh Jacob, do you know why he does it?" I ask Sympathetically, I know the feeling.

"He blames me for my Mum's death. He says it's all my fault she went out and never came back. I know the real reason she died though and it's not me" Jacob says now crying "But he just won't listen to me."

"Hey, don't cry Jacob I won't phone him." I walk over to his other side and give him a hug. "Is there anyone else we can phone for you? Grandparents, Auntie, Uncle?" I ask. Just then Linda returns with his notes and I excuse myself for a moment to read through them.


	16. Chapter 16

**_AN - Hai sorry if this confuses some of you I was a bit confused my self, the Chapter 16 that was written half way through last chapter should not have been there, it was not 2 chapters in one. I was looking at an old version of my fic and copied from it in the second version I had merged those chapters. - I promise I will proof read a bit more carefully from now on._**

After reading through Jacob's notes I learn a little bit more detail about his rough past and how much his father has beaten him but I cannot leave him here alone I need to inform a parent or guardian of his whereabouts.

"Jacob I understand this is hard for you but we must contact someone. Have you thought of who yet?" I ask sympathetically.

"Sam, there is no one I'm on my own. My Dad moved me here not that long ago so we were away from the rest of the family. Its only my Dad, Me and my older brother who was adopted and doesn't know I exist but my told me all about him and he works here." Jacob explains.

"Jacob is that why you wouldn't tell the paramedics your name in case they found out?"

"Yes, I knew they would have to tell the receptionist and he would have to go find my notes and so on but I couldn't risk it he doesn't need to know I'm here" Jacob says.

"So your brother must be Noel" I ask.

"Yep, could you not tell, I've seen photos of him and we look very alike."

"Jacob to tell you the truth I don't even know Noel that well I've only ever spoke to him once and well I wasn't very nice either. " I explain.

"Oh really. How can you work in the same building but never see each other and what do you mean you weren't very nice." Jacob asks.

"Well it's my first day and when I came for my interview that was when I met Noel and I was quite rude to him but I was very preoccupied I know that is no excuse and if I could tell you the really reason I would but I'm afraid cannot." I tell him.

"Oh well you're a really good doctor and why can't you tell me?" He asks.

"Thanks, I've worked as a Doctor for 4 years just not in Holby and Jacob you do not need to know, now how about we phone your dad in and we phone the police and then you can confess to the police about what he does and he will be in the ED for them to capture."

"Sam I know you want to help but I don't know if that will work he will deny it" Jacob says with a worried look on his face.

"He can deny it as much as he likes but we have the evidence on you and in your notes." I say smiling Jacob nods his head and I go off and phone his dad.

10 minutes later a tall man sticking of alcohol comes storming in.

"Dr Nicholls I'm so sorry I tried to stop him but he wouldn't listen to me and insisted in coming straight though" Noel comes running in behind the man saying but stops when he notices Jacob sat on the bed.

"Noel its fine, I'm sorry for the way I acted yesterday I was just nerves. Now Noel are the other people in who I asked you to phone?" I ask Noel nods "Good now keep an eye out for the signal"

"Oi Blondie you going to tell me what's wrong with my son" asks Jacobs dad.

"Mr Garcia. My name is Sam I've been looking after your son. I treated him for a broken arm which will heal its self within 6-8 weeks but I noticed lots of other cuts a bruises on his body which all look as if someone has done them they are not accidental. I understand boys can fight but I also understand what it is like to lose a love one." I explain to him

"I… I" Mr Garcia looks shocked "I'm sorry son I did not mean to hurt you I just get angry and its hard losing your mother" he admits "I know the police are here I will hand myself in and hopefully your brother will look after you I know you know who he is and I'm so sorry I kept you from him good bye son" He walks over and gives Jacob a hug and then walks over to the police.

"I don't know what to say" Jacob says with a tear in his eye.

"you will have to make a testimony to the police but you are free Jacob he can't hurt you no more" I explain and walk out to get Noel.


	17. Chapter 17

**_AN - Enjoy_**

Jacob was ready to be discharged and child services where happy enough to give Noel and Jacob a trial living period so they went off home. I had some more patients for the rest of the shift although they were mainly minor injuries; broken bones, burns, cuts and your usual number of time wasters. That's it then the end of my first shift not quite sure what I should do now it's not like I have some where to go. I walk back towards the staff room to get changed.

When I get there its empty so I pop the kettle on and turn on the news. I open up my locker and start to get changed. I take of my long sleeve top I worn under my scrubs and look down at my scars and start to remember the stories… But I rushed straight back to reality when the door opens and I rush to throw my sweatshirt over my head.

"Sam, Amelia wanted to come and ask you something she wouldn't stop asking me to bring her in or tell me what it was she wanted to ask, so have you got a minute" Tom asks with Amelia swinging his arm around the place.

"Of course I do. What's up sweetie?" I ask looking down at Amelia. She lets go of Tom's Hand and walks over to me so I bend down to be her height.

"I feel better so can I eat the chocolate now" She whispers to me. How sweet I didn't know she would come back in and ask me. I start to smile and Tom's just standing there looking very confused. I walk over to the sofa.

"Come over here sweetie and you Tom" I gesture to sit down next to me. Amelia walks over and I pick her up on to the sofa and Tom follows and sits down next to Amelia.

"Right Amelia, I'm sure you can but I think you might have to share with me and your Daddy. Don't you?" I ask her.

"But you got it for me" Amelia replies. Looking a little sad.

"I'm only joking sweetie I don't want any but your Daddy might" I reply.

"Does one of you two want to explain what's going on" Tom asks with the look of confusion still on his face. I give Amelia a nod as if to say you tell him.

"Sam got me a chocolate bar but told me not to tell you or to eat it until I felt better. I wanted to ask her if I can eat it now" Amelia says looking as cute as ever. Tom just smiles at me and laughs.

"Mils why didn't you just eat it" Tom asked her.

"Because I didn't know if I was aloud you always ask me to ask before I eat any chocolate or sweets. Sam told me not to tell you" Amelia said.

"You silly girl of course you can eat it" Tom smiles at Amelia and she opens the wrapper. "Sam, thank you for everything and I'm so glad that Amelia likes you" He smiles at me and I melt on the inside his smile is just the most beautiful thing ever! Tom reaches over and rubs my leg. "Sam, you there" Oh no I was dreaming about him and he notice.

"Yeah, sorry just a bit tired and I've got to cook dinner yet" I say not trying to sound to desperate but maybe he might get the hint and I won't have to worry about finding somewhere to stay.

"You can come back with me and Mils and we can order a Pizza or something?" Tom asks. Amelia must like the idea she jumped up and started to smile.

"If you don't mind, I would love the company" I reply. Tom gets up picks up Amelia.

"Come on then, the cars waiting" Tom smiles and leads the way.


	18. Chapter 18

_**AN - sorry its been awhile there just isnt enough hours in the day anymore. -Enjoy.**_

After a short 15 minute drive back to Tom's, which must of felt like an age to Tom as me and Amelia had been singing along to all the Disney songs I was starting to wonder if this was the right thing to be doing but it's too late for second thoughts now. We got out the car and Amelia ran up the door and started pulling on the handle but she didn't get very far until Tom unlocked it. Tom and Amelia both in sync took off their jackets and hung them on the stair banister and kicked off their shoes and left them at the side of the hallway. Tom apartment was nice and modern with lots of room for Amelia to play in and on the walls and selves he had lots of photos of Amelia and his mum.

"Should I take my shoes off?" I ask.

"Yes please Sam, We have a no shoes on the carpet rule don't we Mils" He raises his voice a little when he gets to her name she just giggles and carries on doing whatever it that she's doing I can't quite work it out from here so I take me shoes off and go and sit on his sofa. Tom's rummaging around in the kitchen for a Pizza takeout menu.

"What you doing Millie" I ask her as she seems very quiet.

"Looking for something to watch but I don't know what I want" She replies.

"She normally watches a film while eating dinner and before going to bed" Tom calls through "Mils what do you want to drink and Sam would you like some wine"

"Pineapple juice please Daddy" Amelia asks. I make my way through to the kitchen.

"Not sure if that's such a good Idea after last night" I say sneaking up on Tom.

"One won't hurt" He replies pouring us both a glass. I lean on the side watching him.

"Oh see something you like Dr Nicholls" Tom asks passing me the wine.

"Maybe" I wink at him and walk back into the other room and sit down with Amelia.

"Sam, can you put the lion king on for me?" Amelia asks passing me the box.

"Alright but be careful of the glass" I reply walking over to the TV turning it on and placing the disc into the PS3 and picking up the controller I go and sit back down.

"Girls, I found the menu what would you like" Tom asks walking in and handing Amelia her juice.

"Pineapple" Amelia says.

"I'm not fussy whatever you normally get just no mushrooms, I'm allergic" I reply

"So a large thin and crispy Hawaiian" Tom asks. "Amelia won't eat much so there will be plenty. Would you like some garlic bread?"

"Sounds good to me but I'll pass on the garlic bread" I say smiling at Tom. Tom goes to place the order and I just can't help but stare at him. He is so sexy I could just kiss him right now oh god Sam stop dreaming.

"Daddy" Amelia calls.

"That's my name" Tom replies.

"Come and sit down so we can start" Amelia shouts at him. He walks in and comes and sits on the sofa with me.

"Relax Sam" He smiles at me "Mils I don't mind you sitting on you bean bag but can you move it a bit further back please" Amelia listens and moves the beanbag closer to the sofa. We start the film and I cuddle into Tom.


	19. Chapter 19

_**AN - Enjoy**_

Everything seems so perfect being sat here with Tom and Amelia, like my very own little family it just a shame it most likely won't last. Not after he finds out the truth anyway I start to make a list in my mind of things that will put him off; Technically married to Dylan, I'm actually the bosses daughter, I have no money, I have no house, I am emotionally unstable and the main one my body. In the heat of the moment you don't think about how much these scars will affect you, you just think about the pain that's being taken away. I shouldn't think like this but nothing in my life ever works out well and well I guess it's just me.

The doorbell rings and Amelia jumps up and runs to the door closely followed by Tom. I pause the film and get up to go and look for some plates. I hear Tom thanking the delivery man and closing the door.

"Sam, Pizza's ready hurry up or Amelia will nick al the pineapple off the top" Tom calls out to me not realizing I'm in the kitchen. He walks in and opens the only cupboard I didn't and pulls out 3 plates.

"Looking for these?" He asks. I nod and go back into the other room with Tom closely following. I sit down and press play on the film.

"Oi Mils you're not nicking all the pineapple again are you?" Tom asks walking up behind her and tickling her. They get on so well together.

Amelia just giggles and says "no" while trying to look innocent.

"Millie, Leave some for me I Love pineapple" I say taking a slice with loads on.

"If you had said I would have asked for extra" Tom said smiling at us nicking all the pineapple off the pizza. We are sat around having a laugh and just a good time we aren't even watching the film any more but just then it starts playing _#Can you feel the love tonight#_

I go bright red and Tom just laughs and says "Yes" he winks at me and then the slice of pizza I picked up about to eat he takes a bite out of it and just says "sorry you were too slow" I playfully smack his hand but Amelia saw me and wasn't very happy with me.

"Sam, don't do that you will hurt daddy" She said sternly and trying to look angry but it would never work the girl is just too cute. Me and Tom just burst out laughing at her and she just looks angry at us. Oh well.

"Right anyone having any more of this pizza or can I clean up?" Tom asks. I shake my head,

"Full up but thanks Tom" I reply and Amelia just walks off upstairs.

"Take it that's a no Amelia" Tom calls after her but doesn't get a reply. He gets up and starts to tidy up I help him by taking the dirty cups and plates through to the kitchen I'm about to start washing up be he tells me to leave it he will do it later so I walk over to his kettle and put it on instead. Lucky everything I could possibly need is right here by the kettle.

"Want one Tom" I ask.

"Make yourself at home why not eh" Tom replied. He must have seen the look on my face after he said that as he then came out with "I was only joking and I'll have a tea; milk, 2 sugars please darling" I just shake my head at him as if to whatever.

"I'm going to go check on Amelia, I think she is just tried it's been a long day" Tom says and throws me a smile "Oh yeah try not to break anything, Amelia got into the habit of knocking stuff of the top and smashing it" he laughs and walks off upstairs.


	20. Chapter 20

_**AN - So sorry about uploading the same one twice, my brain does not function in the morning with out a cup of tea and with no tea bags in my house it didn't go down well today. sorry again Please enjoy this one being the correct chapter :) **_

I take the mugs of freshly made tea into the other room and place them on the table. I turn off the DVD and put on Holby city I always love watching this show and just laughing and how bad it can be. I start to tidy up the place a bit… you can tell a child lives here piles of toys scatted here, there and everywhere. I go to place something on a shelf but I stop because I see this photo of two young boys and what looks like there parents by them, the boys look a lot like Tom but he never mentioned a brother to me when I told him about my brother. I must have been looking at this photo for a while as I didn't hear Tom come back into the room.

"What you got there babe" He walks up to me wrapping his arms around my waist.

"Just a photo, trying to guess which one was you" I reply relaxing into his grip. I don't know what it is about Tom but he just makes me feel so safe, like no one can hurt me and I love it. Tom takes the photo from my hands.

"It' my dad, mum, brother and me, I'm the shorter one" He says placing the photo back onto the shelf "Thanks for tidying up a bit in here. I just never seem to have the time" He laughs a little and guides me back to the sofa.

"How's Amelia then?" I ask while trying to get comfortable, finally deciding on resting my head on Tom's chest.

"Comfortable" Tom asks. I nod. "Mils was fine just tired as I expected. She had got herself into bed so I just stayed and read her a story and by the time I was finished she was out like a light" tom tells me smiling a smile which is almost so big it could cover both of us. He then turns to the TV and starts flicking through the channels.

I snuggle in to Tom's chest and I can feel him wrap his arms around me protectively. I'm so relax lying here I could fall asleep but I think Tom has other plans as he starts to tickle me and I can't help but giggle and fight him off by playfully slapping his hands. I reach over and grab my cup of tea and start to drink the Luke warm tea.

"You might want to drink that it's not very hot" I tell him pointing to his cup. Tom picks it up and starts to drink.

"Warmer then I normally drink it especially when Millie's around never get to drink a hot drink while its hot" Tom laughs to himself. We both place our cups down and start to watch Romeo and Juliet. I snuggle into Tom and he wraps one of his arms around my and plays with my hair with the other.

"What shift are you on tomorrow?" Tom ask.

"I start at 1 and finish at 8" I reply.

"Great" Tom says "You can come with me and Millie to her ballet class"

"Is that really such a good idea Tom it was only last night she had a bad attack" I ask.

"I spoke to her about it while we were in the ED, I explained she can go but as soon as she feels tired she is to come and sit out and watch" Tom tells me "She was adamant she was going, they have a big performance soon and she doesn't want to fall behind" Tom tells me and I just look up at him with a but-shes-only-3 look.

"She only has a small part but is scared she will forget it she was worrying herself over it" he replies.

"I'll tag along if you're sure she likes me" I say.

"She loves you… maybe even a little more than I do" Tom replied. I lent up and kissed him on the cheek before returning to my place on his chest and falling asleep.


	21. Chapter 21

_**AN - Sorry about the chapter mix up yesterday but I have sorted it all out so if you have not read he last one feel free to go back and do so :) - Thanks for letting me know as well **_

I woke up with a bit of a stiff neck and confused as to where I was but it didn't take long for it all to come flooding back that I was on Tom's sofa he must have moved me and got the blanket down for me. I know what will help; Coffee. So I head off into the kitchen and flick the switch on the kettle but nothing seems to happen so I try again and again.

"Morning babe, you might want to try switching the plug on first" Tom says pointing to the switch. I flick on the switch and then the kettle.

"Thanks" I smile at Tom "Oh and thanks for letting me stay" I walk over to the breakfast bar where he's standing just in an old top and boxer shorts where I can't help but let my eyes wonder.

"Sleep well" Tom smiled when he asked.

"Got a bit of a stiff neck but other than that it was great" I reply. Tom walks over to me and pushes me up against the bar and starts to kiss my neck and playing with my hair. I don't know what to do he's given me the butterflies and I don't want him to stop.

"Is it feeling better" He asks in-between kisses. I nod and pull his head up and start to kiss him and run my fingers through is hair he slowly moves his hands down to my waist and then a little bit further finally reaching my bum and he starts to grab and massage my bum and things are starting to get very heated all until one little girl walks in the room and her response is…

"Ewww, Daddy" Amelia walks in saying. We break apart and I walk back over to the kettle to re-boil it.

"What you want for breakfast Mils" Tom asks her.

"Chocolate spread on toast please Daddy" Amelia asks.

"Babe you don't mind putting 2 slices of bread in the toaster for me do you?" Tom asks me.

"Alright" I reply putting the bread in to the toaster. And turning back to make the coffee's as the kettles boiled. After I finished the coffee's the toast was ready and I handed it over to Tom who was ready with the chocolate spread. He placed the toast in front of Amelia and walked over to me to take the coffee but he thought it would be funny to put chocolate spread on my nose he started laughing and I just snuggled into him as I knew it would wipe the spread from my face all over his top.

"Oi you I have to get change now" He said in a mock angry tone.

"You had to anyway unless you plan on taking your daughter out undressed…" I reply. Tom walks passed me to go get changed and I slap his bum.

"Oi, I'll get you back Dr Nicholls" He says while laughing.

"I won't bet on it Dr Kent" I say picking up and brushing off Amelia and taking her upstairs to get dressed. Around 15 minutes later we are all ready and we set off in the car I asked Tom to drop me off at the ED first so I can get some stuff from my locker before we head off towards the local school where the dance class is held. The journey to the ED only took 5 minutes.

"I won't be long I call to them" before entering the ED.

"Noel, I need to see Mr Jordan. Tell him it's urgent" Noel phones him up and explains.

"He said go straight up" Noel replied. On my way up to his office I wonder how I'm going to explain this one. I get there and just walk in as if I own the place…

"Da… Just wondering if I could have a word in private" I didn't think she would be in here that was close.

"Nice to see you too Sam, Zoe do you mind?" Nick asks her gesturing towards the door she leaves giving me the evils.

"Look Daddy I don't really have time to explain but have you still got that bag I left in here the other day?" I ask him.

"Yes of course I do but Sammy what's there to explain?" He asks

"I need some clothes out of it and I promise I'll come in 20 minutes early and explain it to you" I near enough order him. He walks off to get the bag.

"Right well I leave you to get changed then just make sure you don't leave this place in a mess" He says as he leaves. I quickly change my underwear and throw on a different hoodie to make it look like I did get something from my locker and I just put the bag back into the corner where it was before spraying some perfume and leaving. I make sure I go passed him on my way out.

"Thanks Nick I owe you one" I say as I pass him.

"It's Mr Jordan to you…" he calls back.

"Whatever" I shut as I'm leaving the ED

(Zoe POV)

"Nick, are you going to let her talk to you like that…?"

"Zoe there's not much I can do about it… if only you knew" Nick replied walking off.

(End of POV)

I get back in the car ready to drive off to the school.


	22. Chapter 22

_**AN - Thought I would give you another update today as not sure if I will be able to tomorrow as im back in hospital with post-op checks and then out in the evening so here it is 2 update today enjoy :) **_

After the rather long drive to the school we still somehow managed to get there with time to spare. But it was the look on little Millie's face after Tom told here we were here she looked fit to burst. We all climb out of the car and then Mille grabs my hand and starts dragging me into the school.

"Just go in they know Mils and if they ask where I am just tell them I'm locking up the car" Tom calls after us.

(Tom's POV)

I am so lucky to have two of the most beautiful girls ever even though me and Sam haven't made it official I will pop the question later and she's bound to say yes. And Amelia just loves her to the bones, I never thought this day would happen I mean I've dated before but they haven't got on with Amelia or Amelia hasn't got on with them it just seemed like a never ending cycle and then Sam walked into my life.

(End of POV)

"So Millie you understand why me and your dad are worrying and that if you feel tired at any point you must come over and sit with us" I explain to her once more.

"Okay Sam but I won't get tired" Amelia says running into the hall. I speed up a little to keep up with her.

"Millie sweet heart, I know this is your class and you know the way but please don't ever I mean ever run away from me or your dad again" I ask her she nods her head and hugs me.

"Sorry Sam I didn't mean to upset you" Amelia replied.

"It's okay sweetie just don't do it again" I hug her tight then move to balancing her on my hip "Now why don't we go sign you in?" I ask her and she smiles again and points the way.

"Hi I'm here to sign in Amelia Kent" I tell the lady behind the desk she has her back turned helping another little girl do her hair.

"Just a sec" She replied. I know her voice I just can't figure out why or how. She then turns around and the look on both our faces just must have been amazing for Amelia to be the one who snapped us out of it.

"Hello Miss Matthews" Amelia says smiling and then she hugs me "This is Sam, she's daddy's friend… they kiss a lot"

"Alright Millie, that's enough" I place her on the floor "Why don't you go talk to some of your friends" I gesture towards the other girls.

"Okay" Amelia replied and ran off.

"Sam I don't understand what she is talking about… your married for goodness sake and your kissing her dad" Lauren says while just standing there shocked.

"Look Lauren I understand what it seems like but it's so much more complicated than that and I'll explain it later… we can go out for something to eat. Just please don't tell Tom" I plead with Lauren.

"Tell Tom what" Tom walks up behind me and starts to hug me.


	23. Chapter 23

_**AN - Quick update before I go out, Enjoy :)**_

"That Sam let Amelia run off" Lauren tells Tom.

"Hey babe don't worry she is always running off into the class" Tom says leaning over and kissing my cheek "Have you signed her in yet?"

"Not yet we were too shocked to see each other" I say.

"Yeah me and Sam are going to go out for dinner and have a catch up" Lauren replies as Lauren was speaking Tom signed the register.

"Sounds great guys, you will have to tell me later how you know each other for now let's go sit down at watch Millie" Tom says guiding me to the benches around the outside of the hall. We sit down and the girls start there dances. Amelia is really good at it and she is one of the youngest. Tom goes to get some drinks for us and one for Amelia for when they have their break while he's gone I quickly send a text to my dad asking him to ring me when he is free.

"Here you go babe, sorry but you only get the option of juice or juice here" To Laughs as he passes me one of the cups. Just then my dad rings.

"You don't mind if I go take this?" I ask.

"No go ahead you won't hear much in here so it's best you go outside, trust me I've tried taking calls in here many a times and it doesn't go well" Tom replied so I went off outside. I answer the phone.

"Sammy what's wrong?" Nick shouts down the phone.

"Daddy I'm scared I've only been back 4 days and I've dived straight into the deep end" I say starting to cry.

"Oh princess everything will be fine I promise, where are you do you want me to take my break early. I can come and pick you up?" Nick offers.

"Umm, you know I asked to talk to you before I started can we change that can you meet me at pizza express the one just outside of town around 8:15 tonight please"

"Sure but are you sure you're okay you sound very upset" Nick says in a worried tone.

"You know what I'm fine now I've heard your voice. I've got to go now, bye daddy, I love you"

"Bye Sammy, love you too" Nick says as he hangs up. I walk back into the hall after wiping the tears away but it's going to be obviously I was crying. I go and sit down by Tom resting my head on his shoulder hoping he doesn't notice.

"Hey babe are you alright? It looks like you have been crying" Tom asks holding my head up to face him.

"I'm fine don't worry just got some news I wasn't expecting" I try and tell him shrugging it off.

"Want to talk to me about it?" he asks while wiping away some of my tears. I just shake my head and move it back down.

"Okay girls, let's call it a day you have all worked very hard today especially you Amelia after your little scar" Lauren says and all the girls go running off to find their parents. Lauren walks over with Amelia.

"She was absolutely fine Tom; there was no need to worry" Lauren says smiling and then I look up to her about to say thank you but I'm cut short by Lauren.

"Oh Sam, what's the matter" Lauren asks rubbing my shoulders.

"Can I tell you some other time?" I ask her.

"Sure where and when are we meeting later?" Lauren questions.

"8:15ish at the Pizza Express just outside of town… If that's not to late otherwise it will have to wait as my shift finishes at 8" I explain.

"Don't worry I may be pregnant but I can still go out late" Lauren laughs, I smile back at her and the leave with Tom and Amelia we go to the park for a little while before they drop me off at work.


	24. Chapter 24

_**AN - I just deleted 10 chapters I pre-written as they sucked and I didn't like the way the story went, Thanks for you your reviews guys is does mean the world to me :) - Hope you enjoy it **_

After arriving at work I start to wonder about how this is all going to work out later. I walk towards the staff room hoping to avoid everyone and just slip away and do some paperwork as it's not too busy around here at the moment. But that theory goes out the window when the red crisis phone starts to ring for a second everyone just stairs around looking at each other than bam it all happens so quick it's like a pack of seagulls going down on a piece of cake me a Dylan reach the phone at around the same time I turn and give him the death stair and he backs off.

(Dylan's POV)

Sam, what can I say she always acts on impulse and trust me when her adrenaline kicks in you do not want to be around. We all stand around for what feels like forever but in reality its only been about a minute watching her scribble down notes on to a pad… "Great I'll be there right away" Sam says then puts the phone down she may not be mine anymore but I can't help but worry about her she is still my life. Even if we can't be lovers can we not just be friends I need her support.

(End of POV)

"what are you all doing standing around you have work to do" they give me these looks as if to say what was that all about so I explain "The paramedics requested a doctor on scene down at the local secondary school, a roof has caved in, now can one of you point me in the direction for the jumpsuits?" I ask at the end.

"Right guys we need to clear the area as quickly as possible as there is no telling how much space we may need also can someone get Tom on the phone he might be needed and Sam follow me" Tess hurries around trying to organize everyone. As we are walking towards the doctors station where the jumpsuits are kept in a cupboard Tess starts to ask me questions about why I volunteered myself and I tell her that nothing I do here will be anywhere as bad as being in a warzone she nods and shows me the cupboard and then explains that when I'm changed I need to go straight to the ambulance bay there will be a crew waiting for me.

On my way down to the ambulance bay I walk past the one person I really didn't want to see…

"Sammy, where are you going I would like to talk to you" Nick asks.

"Daddy I'm doing this for my own good I need to keep busy or ill just breakdown" I say heading away from him. He catches up to me and grabs my arm…

"Doing what Samantha" He ask in a stern tone.

"I'm going with the paramedics to the local secondary school want any more info you will have to ask someone else the paramedics are waiting for me" I say freeing myself from his grip. I storm off and hope to god no one heard when I called him Daddy I didn't even think twice.

I walk up to the ambulance bay and bump into two very friendly looking paramedics.

"You must be Sam, I'm Dixie and this is Jeff" one of the paramedics reply.

"Ready for some action kido?" Jeff questions me I nod my head. "Well jump in and off we go" we all climb into the ambulance me in the back and Dixie and Jeff up front and we speed off down the road.

(Nicks POV)

Why does she do this to me...?

I walk towards the reception desk and just throw the notes I have on the desk everyone turns around and looks at me but only Charlie walks over to talk to me.

"Why does she do it Charlie" I ask him with a tear rolling down my cheek.

"Right you lot back to work, Nick come with me" Charlie says gesturing towards he office. We walk towards his office as I walk over though I'm getting all sorts of looks off of my staff all though they know nothing to do with why I'm in a state only Charlie does he Sam's godfather for goodness sake. We reach Charlie's office and he lets us in and as soon as he's closed the door I break down.

(End of POV)


	25. Chapter 25

**_AN - Busy day out in the sun glad to be inside! - Enjoy :)_**

(Charlie's POV)

I'm not entirely sure what has got Nick so wound up he is normally so strong and resilient I haven't seen him this upset since what happened to Jack and we have been friends since the beginning of time, me and Nick. I walk over to him and comfort him.

"I'm here for you nick when you're ready I'll be here listening to you" I tell him while rubbing his arm"

It's about 15 minutes before Nick finally says something.

"I just got her back Charlie and she's gone and but herself at risk all over again" Nick says looking down at the ground "She's my beautiful little princess but all she does it hurts me I'm so scared I will lose her like we have Jack although we live in hope that one day he will be found"

"Nick, she will be fine don't worry yourself she is one hell of a fighter just think back and what she has been through and Sam will always be there if you want to talk about Jack I bet you it would mean the world to her to know that you still think he's out there waiting to be found" I then pass him a clean tissue "Kids do the stupidest things ever and when my Louis went missing that time I was worried sick I just ran out of the ED not caring who knew and when we finally found him he turned around and told us he went out for some sweets… What I'm trying to say is no matter the reason you will always hurt for your children I still sometimes worry about what Louis is doing but I never get much out of him these days and I still ache to hear his voice" I try to sympathise with Nick.

"But I think she's losing the battle Charlie she phoned me this morning in tears but did not want me to go see her she insisted everything was fine after she heard my voice but she has still planned a meal out for us me, her and Lauren. Then just before when I saw her going off to the paramedics she would hardly talk to me she told me she needed to keep busy or she would break down. She would not even tell me where she was going I found out second hand from Zoe. Sam isn't the same girl she was 10 years ago" Nick says slowly "I miss that little girl you know my sweet innocent baby"

"Sam is still the same girl she was all them years ago she just needs to find her under all the hard front she puts up. When she came back and started working yesterday I did think to myself that her smile looked a little put on at times and she seemed a little down but I believe what she needs is a nice long chat with her Dad and a nice hug to go with it and maybe even a little love from someone else someone who makes her feel safe" I explain to him.

"You know what Charlie your right she is still my little girl and I'm going to do all I can to make her feel safe and secure again and I'm not going to let anyone I can't trust within a mile of her because although things didn't work out well with Dylan that was because of both of them they were too young to handle all that time apart." Nick says with a little smile on his face "Come with me Charlie and we shall go get a coffee and then return to work as Sam is going to need all the help she can get from us back here" As nick says that he jumps up and we leave.

I'm glad we had this little chat Nick isn't as strong as he used to be but you can blame him the poor man's been to hell and back to try and keep his family together and all to only be left with a son which could be anywhere after being announced MIA 13 years ago and a daughter who just needs to open up a little bit more and let us help her but I'm not sure she will as she has also been through a lot and she would hate for the rest of the staff to know. Only time will tell.

(End of POV)


	26. Chapter 26

_**An - sorry if i dont update anytime soon my lappys mucking up and about to die and my charger wont charge so there you, tonight episode was a good one but next weeks looks better, Tess pregnant ! Tom/Sam are going kiss as well(hopefully,if any of you watched the spoiler you should get where im coming from) - enjoy: )**_

The journey was sort of awkward as Dixie and Jeff kept asking me question I really didn't know how to answer but on the other side is a quite funny as Jeff seems like a comedian. On arrival to the site I can see just why they required extra help so I open the door and jump out, I sling a doctors kit over my back and go and get stuck in ignoring the warnings and safety guidance that Dixie was trying to explain.

"So what can I do to help you guys" I ask a nearby fire officer.

"Don't worry kid we have got professionals coming in so why don't we leave it to them" He said and started to walk off.

"Well if your professionals consist of paramedics and a doctor named Sam Nicholls coming from Holby city… They are here and asking to help" I reply to him nearly shouting the last bit as he had walked so far off.

"Woah, Princess don't talk to the fire boys like that they already don't like us, something about making their job harder but we never listen" Jeff says coming over. We walk towards the officer to see where we are needed.

"Right my friend here has already ask you what to do but you ignored her I wouldn't be surprised if she goes back and writes a complaint about you" Jeff says angrily to the Officer

"Oh Sorry Jeff didn't realize they are employing children to do adults jobs these days and well we seemed to have controlled the area for the time being but that roof could collapse at any time and on inspection there is 3 teenagers trapped in their, 2 female and a male there was four but one was able to walk so we got him out and he is in the medical tent over there if one of you would like to go give him the once over that would be great" The officer replied.

"Dix, do you mind checking him over" Jeff called over to Dixie and she nodded making her way. "Well what about the other 3, we can't leave them in there, we don't even know how seriously hurt they might be and then if the roof goes they could all die"

"That might be the case Jeff but I can't let anyone in its too dangerous…."

I got fed of listening to them argue about what to do so I just took one look at the building and ran straight to it without looking back all I could here was the fire officer shouting about risks and Jeff shouting my name but nothing was going to stop me there are kids in that building that need my help so that's what I'm going to do, with or without help.

As I get inside the building some firemen come in after me trying to pull me out but I break out of their grip and run over to the first person I see, he's lying on the floor with a beam trapping his legs he's moving his arms all over the place and crying out in pain as he tries to move his legs out from underneath. I take one look at him and my mind flies back to that day in the café when we had seconds to remove a person and I just look around and I notice someone who seems to be in desperate need of oxygen and I explain to young lad I'll be back I just need to help his friend first.

When I got over there I gave the girl an oxygen mask and she smiled at me but turned away and looked back to her friend I notice that she was holding her friends hand her friend was stuck in a little pocket where the rocks hand fallen around her. Hannah had been hit quite badly by falling rocks and had cuts to her head, chest, arms and legs and her right arm looked broken.

"Hey sweetheart can you tell me your name?" I ask her.

"Hannah, are we going to die?" she asked with so much fear in her voice.

"Not if I can help it, what's your friend's name?"

"Brooke, will you help her please" She asks with tears rolling down her face.

"I will do everything I can girls don't worry" I say as I hear the young lad shout out in pain "Hey mate, what's your name and try not to move around to much as you will cause yourself more pain once I have sorted these too girls out I'll come and get you okay?" I ask him.

"It hurts so much though" He calls out.

"I know it does but you just need to bear with me, keep talking to me okay and tell me your name please"

"My names Logan" He says as he shouts out in pain. He keeps talking to me though.

"Brooke if you can hear me I need you to talk to me or squeeze Hannah's hand" I say.

"She squeezed my hand" Hannah said with a tiny bit of hope in her voice. "What's your name?" Hannah asked me.

"I'm Dr Nicholls but just call me Sam" I say smiling "No Brooke squeeze her hand once for yes and twice for no, Understand I'm going to ask you some questions."

"She squeezed once" Hannah told me.

"Alright Brooke, Are you in any pain" I ask her with our little system in place.

"She squeezed once" Hannah said.

"Brooke are you allergic to any medication?"

"She squeezed twice, but I know she's allergic to nuts" Hannah said.

"That's alright Hannah, there are no nuts in morphine and I'm going to need to take her hand from you so I can inject her" I ask her holding on to Brookes hand and Hannah moves to the side and lets out a little squeal. I look around on Brookes hand for a vein.

"This may scratch a little" I say as I inject the drug into her.

"Hannah I know you want to stay with Brooke but you need so get looked over I'll take you out to the paramedics and then come back to help Brooke" I tell her.

"But" was all Hannah could say. I helped her up to her feet and we start to walk over to the door.

"I love you Brooke don't forget that" Hannah called back to her as I help guide her over the rubble when we got to the doors I passed her to the fireman and they help her over to the paramedics and I turned and re-entered the building.


	27. Chapter 27

**_AN - Sorry for any mistakes I wrote this on my bros computer and I had to be quick incase he came home! - I've ordered a new charger lets hope it hurries up and gets here_**

On re-entering I walk over to Logan explaining what I was going to do and how I would need his help to make sure it would be successful.

"Right Logan I'm going to life the bar on the count of three and you need to use you arms to move your body backwards but it will be painful so I will give you some morphine, this if your not allergic to it?" I ask placing my doctors kit on the floor and starting to draw up 10mg of morphine.

"I'm not allergic to anything" Logan replies.

"Great well I just get this into you then I will wait until you are ready and start counting down before I lift" I explain.

As I walk over to Logan to inject the drug into him the building starts to shake and more rubble falls from the roof.

"Cover your face Logan" As I shout over the noise to him he does so but I was not quick enough something fell and hit my head causing me to bleed as I could feel the warm sticky substance trickling down my face and I let at a little gasp.

"Are you okay Sam" Logan asks.

"I'm fine lets just work on getting you out of here and saving Brooke as well" I walk over and inject the morphine.

"You will feel a slight scratch, before I move the bar and while we wait for the drug to kick in I'm going to go make sure Brooke is alright" I tell him placing the used needle into a bag I had in the doctors kit and walking over to Brooke.

"Are you okay down there nothing hit you?" I ask her looking down. She looks at me with this horrible look on her face one of fear and loneliness.

"Sam" She says in a whisper "Your bleeding"

"I know I am Brooke but right now you and Logan are my main priorities, I can fix my self up after, Now what about you are you alright" I ask.

"I'm scared Sam" Brooke says with tears in her eyes.

"I know you are sweetheart but you need to be brave I'm going to get Logan out then I'm going to get some of the firemen in here to help free you can you be brave just for a little bit longer and talk to me so I know you are alright" I tell her giving her a reassuring smile Brooke nods and starts to talk to me about her new guinea pig she got at the weekend she told me his name was Joe and that he was very friendly and lots more about him.

I made my way back across the rubble towards Logan.

"Are you ready Logan?" I bend down and grab the bar but not noticing it sharp edge I slice my hand open and let out a scream in pain which leads Logan to start questioning me and Brooke to stop talking. I walk over the my doctors kjit and wrap an bandage around my hand and tell Logan that im fine and shout out to Brooke explaining what had happened and that im fine now and to carry on talking to which she did but this time about her teachers.

"Alright, ready Logan" He nods and places his hands down ready to pull his body along the floor "On three; Three, Two, One" I lift up the bar its heavier than it looked but it was alright as Logan managed to move himself away so when i put the bar down he was free.

"Thank you so much Sam" Logan said with tears in his eyes and sitting up for the first time since the accident.

"No problem Logan. Do you think you could walk with my support?" I ask him.

"Not sure can we give it a try" Logan replied trying to stand up, I ran over to him and grabbed one of his arms for support and soon he was standing by him self.

"The first step will be the hardest" I try to warn Logan but he just went on as if nothing had happened he was wobbly a couple of times a let out little gasp's in pain but he didn't give up he was determined to get out of the building and just as we got the the door way he shouted over to Brooke...

"Its alright Brooke everything is going to be fine Sam is an Amazing Doctor and she will help you. I will go tell Luke and Hannah that you are fine and not to worry and Brooke, we all love you especially Luke!"

I walked Logan over to the paramedics and the look on Dixie and Jeffs face when I came out coved in dirt, blood all down my face and my hand bandage... lets just say it didn't look like what was coming next was going to be nice. I help Logan up onto one of the beds and Jeff walk over.

"Just to warn you princess Dixie is going to have a good old moan at you after" He said with a cheesy grin on his face "So who is this then and what happened to him?"

"This is Logan he had his Legs trapped under a bar which we managed to sort out didn't we Logan" He just nodded "Hes had 10mg Morphine and also has various other cuts around his body none to major just going to need a clean up and an x-ray on his legs to check for any damage" I reply saying good bye to Logan and going to request a team of firemen willing to enter the building with me.

After a good 10-15 minute debate they decide to come in and rescue Brooke it take us around half an hour to free her and when freed one of the firemen carried her out of the building with me and the others following. the other firemen went back to there station and I followed with Brooke to the medical tent when I realised I had left the doctors kit in the building so I ran back over and was about to re-enter when I felt someone pull me out of the way, I turn around and see a fireman holding me back and I was just about to ask him why he did that but the whole building came down and instead I hugged him and said thanks.

The drive back to the hospital was a quick one but also a very nice one as I had both Logan and Brooke in the back, Hannah and Luke the young lad who managed to get him self out had already been taken to hospital. Luckily the worse injury must be Brooke's broken arm other then that they all seem to have escaped with cuts and bruises. we spoke about all sorts in the back and had Jeff telling us jokes from upfront but as soon as we got back to the ED and the doors opened to reveal Charlie I knew I was in for a month full...


	28. Chapter 28

_**AN - it was really hot last night and I could not sleep so at 4am I went downstairs and sat at the PC and decided to write this and I must have dosed off before posting as I woke up at the computer with this waiting... so here it is, P.s Its a long one :) (most of them will be from now one as ive just got so much to write in my head)**_

"Right so what have we got here?" questioned Charlie after giving me the we-need-to-talk look.

"This is Logan and Brooke both where trap Logan by his legs so if we could get an xray on them and sort out all the other cuts and Brooke I believe when she fell she broke her arm so if we can get that xrayed and the same for her cuts. Both given 10mg of morphine at the scene and stats are all normal, if possible they would like to see their friends who where also involved" I say jumping out the back and helping Logan down, about to walk on with them when Dixie stops me.

"Dixie, I know you only mean well and all but I'm going to get the biggest lecture ever off of about 3 different people and that's only if I lucky it could end up more but I hoping that it's less now if you don't mind I would like to go and have a shower and clean my self up" I smile at Dixie and she just looks back at me not sure what to say so I excuse my self and go off to get cleaned up.

(Dixie's POV)

Why do all of the doctors around here thing it is okay the risk their life's to save another and then never listen when we try to explain to them the risk they are putting themselves in. New doctors are worse theu have no idea how dangerous places can be I can see that Sam is going to be a hard one to get that through too.

"Dix, you ready to go we have another shout, Mrs Davison has fallen again and requesting someone to go and see her" Jeff said walking towards me.

"Yer sure, just thinking about how reckless the new doctors seem to be" I say taking one of the drinks from Jeff and heading towards the ambulance it back to the bay and to get into another one a clean one just incase Mrs Davison needs to come in but it's not likely.

(End of POV)

After 25 minutes I'm sat in the staff room all cleaned up and in just a normal jumper and skinny jeans wondering what to do next... So I head out into the ED even though I know thats the worst thing to do right now.

"Sam, so nice of you to rejoin us. Your patients have been asking for you but first I thing I should take a look at that cut" Charlie says pointing towards my forehead. I just go with him knowing that it will cause less hassle.

"what where you thinking, your father was all over the place before worried sick about you. You phoned him up crying then you just ignored that fact and when you got here you warned him that if you didn't go you would just breakdown. Well guess what Sam that is exactly what he did he broke down infront of everyone and I haven't seen him as upset as that since the day you left the first time for Afghanistan. Sam you father cares about you so much infact we all do but we can't help you unless you open up to us and let us in, we all want to help we just want to see that happy, free, not-a-care-in-the-world Sam but we can't find her she disappeared with her brother. It's hard for your father too you know he needs all the help he can get he had to move on for your sake but it wasn't what he wanted , he wants to be able to remember Jack just as much as you and he needs you help too, Just remember Sam this isn't Afghanistan it's Holby and you have a little more time to thing through things and nit just act on impulse, if you father stops you going out with the paramedics I wouldn't be surprised" Charlie tells me in a voice I don't want to argue with.

"You have stitched my head so can I go now?" I say jumping off the bed.

"Not until you roll up your sleeves and show me that you haven't done it since, we are worried Sam and just need reassuring" Charlie says.

"You think that after all this time, I would go back to doing that, Charlie its ruined my life I can't go around wearing just a t-shirt" I say slowly lifting my sleeves up and revealing the millions of neat little white lines that scar my arms and then the bigger ones which had to be stitched.

Just then Tom comes flying through the certain and just stops in shock when he notices my arms the scars cover my arm from wrist to elbow some more faded then others. As soon as the shock had worn off for me I covered my arms back up trying to act as if nothing was seen but I know Tom what give up that easily.

I give Tom a smile and walk up to hug him but he just turns away.

"I'll leave you two to it then and Sam remember what I said" Charlie tells me walking out and shutting the curtain.

"Why would you show Charlie and not me?" Tom asked taking a seat on the bed.

"Tom its complicated and Charlie already knew I made a promise to him that I would never do it again when I was around 17 and I stuck to it but he just wanted to see the prof" I try to reason with Tom but I know he wont stop until he knows why.

"And how does Charlie know?" Tom asked.

"It all started when the letter came down telling us that Jack was missing when I was 14 but I had stopped when I was 15 after meeting some very nice people who supported me when my mother just blamed me for what happened I stopped eating and started to self harm but then on the 3rd anniversary of Jack being missing a Camp had been raided and all the soldiers freed but non where English I had got my hopes up so much that he would have been one of them but when it turned out that it wasn't possible I took the sharpest knife I could find and I attacked my arm, my dad was at work so I was home alone and I just sliced my arm until I could not feel anything and blacked out, I then woke up in this very ED with Charlie at my side he had Stitched up my arm and was explaining something to my dad and after my dad had left them room he ask me why I had hurt my self, I could not tell him all I ask him to do was ask my dad if he knew which he should if he thought about it and it turned out he did know the reason but Charlie ask me to promise him that I would never self harm again and in those 10 years there has been times I've come very close to doing so but then I stop and think about what Jack would say and I would stop" I explain with tears forming in my eyes.

"Sam come here" He said opening his arms "You know you can tell me anything, there is nothing that will make me leave you, When Zoe called me up saying you looked down and had got hurt, I was straight here" He said hugging me and kissing my hair.

"Thanks Tom, its so hard to tell people as they normally judge me..." Just then Nick throws open the curtain and walks in.

"Sam" Nick says.

"Nick" I say with a tiny bit or sarcasm and turning around so im sat on Tom.

"Charlie told me you got injured while with the paramedics, so I came to see if you where alright" Nick says looking at me with the same old Talk-to-me-Sam look he used to use on me all the time.

"I am fine now if you two would excuse me. I'm going to meet a Friend" I say, I turn and kiss Tom goodbye and as I walk past Nick I bump into him on purpose


	29. Chapter 29

**_AN - thought I would have my new laptop charger by now but I'm still waiting for it to be delivered so I'm writing this from the main PC and it's very noisy in the room if there are any mistakes I normally write in a quiet area._**

After walking back to the staff room and getting bag ready to go meet Lauren and my dad I noticed that I still have half an hour to spare before I need to leave the ED. I walked towards the reception desk thinking I'll just hang out there talking to anyone who has a spare minute. Charlie then walked past and I remember what he had said about Logan, Brooke and Hannah wanting to see me so I ran after him just hoping that's where he was going.

"Charlie" I say say tapping him on the back.

"Sam, I'm sorry I didn't know Tom and you where so close or that he was on his way in to see you. I would never of made you show me if I knew there was a chance of someone walking in" Charlie said after turning to face me.

"there's no need to be sorry if it had not of happened I would never of had the courage to admit to Tom or even show him. Thank you Charlie you made my list shorter still just some how have to him he's dating the bosses daughter who is married to one of his colleagues. Any ideas on how?" I ask jokingly.

"I'll leave that one to you Sam, now what is it that you wanted" Charlie says changing the tone from the family jokey one to the I'm a nurse doing my job because Zoe walked past.

"well, I was wondering if you could show me to my patients" I ask trying to sound professional.

"not a problem there are right this way" Charlie says showing the way.

After spending 20 minutes or so with Logan, Brooke, Hannah and Luke talking about near enough every thing and they all couldn't thank me enough but it's my job to save people and it must be what I do best. By the time I needed to go it was just me and Hannah as the others had gone home with there parents. I had just told her that I needed to go as I was expected at a meal and git up ready to go her mum arrived all she kept saying was sorry. We got ready to leave and walked out of the ED together.

On arriving at pizza express I noticed Lauren and my dad already had a table and where enjoying a drink so I walked in and took my jacket off and sat down.

"nice of you to join us Sam" Nick said. Lauren just laughed.

"alright Daddy it's bot my fault it's yours and Tom's while I was sat around talking to you two I could have been talking to the teenagers I saved today" I said trying to blame him.

"would you like to order and then you can explain why your brought us out here" Nick said passing me a menu. We ordered and that causes Nick to moan at me again.

"sorry daddy I'm just not that hungry and I had pizza last night so I thing I'll stick to a children's vegetables lasagne with no mushrooms" I say and the waitress writes it down.

"your dad's only trying to look out for you Sam" Lauren said.

"I know he is." I said smiling at Lauren. "now I know what it must have looked liked when I turned up at Amelia's dance class today but it not like that. Me and Dylan have been separated for years now in fact since I came home from my 2nd tour. It was hard just being back from my 1st but I just thought it was the distance so carried on but then I got back to Afghanistan I had an affair with my corporal so after coming back home I ended it with Dylan. Only since I have been back this time have I given him divorce papers but he has not signed yet." I tell Lauren.

"oh Sam why didn't you tell me back then I could of helped" Lauren said given me sidewards hug.

"I thought you would be ashamed of me and judge me" I tell her looking down.

"I will never judge you, how many things have we been through together" Lauren said smiling.

"Sam I never knew you had not told Lauren, she is a true friend and I know she would never do anything to upset you" Nick said smiling at Lauren. "now why am I here?" he ask.

"well that goes on to Tom, the night I got back and we went to the pub I got with Tom just hoping for some pity sex so I would have somewhere to spend the night but as the evening got on and I got to know Tom I fall for him like a tone of bricks and that whole night after he had to go for Amelia and I went and slept in your office I caught my self thinking about him. The next day he came back in just as my shift finished it had been a hard one and I just wanted someone to hold me and make me feel safe so when I joked about still needed to make diner he offered for me to go back to his and he a takeaway which I took and I fall asleep in his arms which then lead to me turning up at the class Lauren teaches and it got my thinking maybe I was moving to quick as Tom hardly knows me, I know a bit about him though which lead to the phone call, then going with the paramedics I wanted to keep busy and it worked only problem now I have no where to stay again." I admit to Nick and Lauren.

"if you had said you could have come and stayed at mine until you found a flat, you still can if you like." Lauren tells me.

"I would love to only thing is I have no money so I don't long it will take to find somewhere." I say.

"come home Sam, your room is still waiting for you and its your home so stay as long as you need" Nick says while paying the bill. I just smile and get up outing on my jacket ready to go.


	30. Chapter 30

**_AN - I have a charger so I can now use my laptop again YAY, updates should be more regular now but as I'm spending the day at the Zoo tomorrow who knows when I will next be able to write a chapter... but I know what will be in it. Hope you enjoy this update :) _**

A couple of months had past and everything was great living back at home with dad, like he said nothing had changed he still had mine and Jacks rooms the same as when we left. The day after I went out with the paramedics and spilt my head open I had to stay off wok which I thought to myself I would hate and I guess I would have done if I didn't mind my way walking in to Jacks room and looking through all our old photos together but there was on photo dad had taken just after Jack came home from his first tour we had gone to the airport to greet him and as soon as I saw him I ran up and gave him and hug and he picked me up. Looking back at this photo and the memories which came with it I just broke down wondering if the moment would ever happen again. Dad came home and found me like that and we spent the rest or the evening talking about Jack and it just made things a little more bearable for both of us.

Recently I've been spending more time Tom's then at dads but this is all down to the fact that both of us have partners, can't say I get on to well with dads but after I realised it was not going anywhere I have started to make an effort and now me and Zoe are quite good friends and I feel I can talk to her. It's also helped Amelia as she has started to call me mummy, I know it's not right but she is too young to understand at the moment but Tom just goes along with it, he loves it as he likes to tell me "You family Sam, nothing wrong with that in fact I love it" This has all led up to this day 2 months on…

17-07-2013 otherwise known as Amelia's 4th birthday

"Get up, Get up, Get up" Amelia shouted while jumping on the bed.

"Mils, just five more minutes please" Tom said as he tried to snuggle into me but I had already got out of bed. Its 6:30 and we are taking Amelia up to Luton its and 2 and half hour journey but when we get there it will be worth It.

"Happy Birthday Mille" I shout running after her to give her a hug, she is laughing away while trying to get away from me she ends up hiding under her covers, I sneak into her room and around to the other side of the bed. I slowly lift the cover up and start to tickle her and she bursts into fits of laughter and try's to tell me to stop.

"Stop Mummy" She keeps repeating herself when she has the breath to. I can't but help laugh along as well as her laugh is so infectious.

"So you ready for your surprise trip" I ask her after eventually stopping and letting her calm down.

"Yeah, where are we going" Amelia ask looking up at me with the biggest smile ever.

"Now Mils if we told you that it wouldn't be a surprise, now would it?" Tom pipes up from the doorway.

"Just how long have you been stood there" I ask Tom walking over to him and wrapping my arms around his waist.

"Long enough" He Just smile down at me and gives me a Kiss. "Mils come down stairs in a minute just let me and Mummy get down first, and one of us will call up to you to come down" Tom says as we leave to go down stairs and make sure the presents are ready. I don't know if I mentioned this but Amelia is giraffe mad she just loves them, not sure why but she even has this cuddly giraffe that's called Uno, Tom says she has had it since she was born its very worn and you can see that it is well loved, she takes it everywhere with her. We have got her this outfit to wear today it's a dark pig top with a giraffe on which says high maintenance and a pair of giraffe pint shorts matching the giraffe on the top we have also got her lots of other things but I things this is just the cutest.

"I making a Coffee, want one?" I call to Tom who is busy in the other room sorting out the presents.

"Sure, babe" He calls back. While the kettles boiling I pour Amelia a glass of pineapple juice and leave it on the breakfast bar.

"Mils, you can come down now" Tom calls up to her and walks into the kitchen to get the coffee I just made him.

"Thanks babe, going to need a lot of this if I'm to drive for 2 hours plus straight" Tom says as he sips the coffee.

"When we stop off for breakfast I can take over and drive the rest of the way and then the same on the way back" I say as I walk into the living room carrying my coffee and Amelia's juice.

"It's my treat, I'm not going to make you drive" Tom said as we sat down on the sofa.

"You're not making me drive and I offered. Let's just see how you feel after we have had breakfast" I say picking up my coffee. "Millie are you coming?" I call up to her.

"Yes but I can't find Uno" Amelia said sounding a little sad.

"I think he's on mine and Daddy's bed Sweetie" I shout back up and after hearing her go into our room she then comes down stairs holding the giraffe.

"I see you found him" I say picking her up and putting her on my knee. Tom gets up and passes over a card first.

"Look Mummy it's a giraffe" She says all excited looking at the card. I just smile at her and read out the card. Tom then passes her presents one by one and she says thank you before opening each one and her face after she does, she has got lots of different toys, things to make and outfits and the last few are all giraffe style. She gets a giraffe Pillow pet, a cup with a giraffe on and her name, some pj's with giraffes and her name on and then the little outfit to where today but before we have a chance to tell her that she tells us she's going to wear that for her special trip and both me and Tom burst out laughing.

We help her carry everything upstairs and leave her to have a little play with some of the new toys while we go get dressed. Tom grabs me by the waist and picks me up throwing me on to the bed.

"What are you doing" I say trying to roll out of his way. But he starts to tickle me and won't stop.

"Let's call it payback from Mils" Tom says as he carries on I start kicking my legs about trying to get him but nothing is working, he moves his head closer to mine and I have an idea. I start to kiss him which causes him to stop tickling me but he starts to remove my vest top and hotpants I slept in which is when I stop kissing him and turned away.

"What's wrong, babe?" Tom asks stroking my hair.

"Nothing, just we can't not now anyway" I tell him, I say this every time he tries I'm surprised he is still with me, I just can't feel as if I can do it yet, I know it's been 2 months but I still haven't told him the truth.

"Sam, you can't keep lying to me there must be a reason you won't let me, I Love You so much Sam and It just feels right but I can't help you until you open up" Tom tells me, he gives me a kiss on my forehead and gets up to go get dressed I just lie here watching him and dreaming until he snaps me out of it.

"Like what you see Dr Nicholls" He ask standing there in his boxes.

"You know I do" I walk over to him and just hug him snuggling into his chest, we stay like this for a couple of minutes until Tom lets go "We need to get ready" He says bending down and kissing me. Tom puts on a pair of shorts and a top and tells me he's going to go get giraffe girl ready and a laugh at him stilling looking in my cupboard wondering what to wear. In the end I go with A pair of light ripped denim short shorts and an animal print crop top.

We are already down stairs making sure that we have everything that no one needs the toilet (Millie) Toms getting the car ready while I put on Millie's dark pink converse that match her top and put on my own converses. I walk Millie out to Tom so he can strap her in her car seat making sure that we have Uno on us, I make sure that we have all the bags that we need and double check with Tom that he has his phone and what not before we set off.


	31. Chapter 31

_**AN - I went to Whipsnade a couple of months ago when I went over to the Mainland and I took my 5 year old sister which is where im getting my ideas for Amelia from, Ordinarycasgirl I have an idea on when it will happen and I like your Idea about either going missing so I will see if I can get it in. :) - Enjoy x**_

We are driving along the motorway on our way up to Luton and Amelia is sat in the back with her face nearly glued to the window, she has never been out of Holby before so it's a very big adventure for her. It's just gone 9:00 when we drive past some services on the side of the motorway so we turn off to stop and get some breakfast or in mine and Toms case some Coffee. As we park the car Amelia pipes up.

"Are we there?" She asks.

"No Mils we just stopped to get some breakfast for you as you must be hungry" Tom says turning and smiling at her. Me and Tom get out of the car, I walk around to get Amelia out of her seat while Tom gets some money out of the bag and then locks up the car. Tom takes Amelia's hand and walks off towards the Café and I just run after him and jump on his back and Tom just spins around pretending to look for me and Amelia is laughing which sets both of us off. Tom walks into the Café with me on his back and Amelia's hand in his.

"Morning Guys, where are you off to this sunny morning somewhere nice?" The Young lad behind the counter asks as we enter the café laughing and mucking about, I jump off of Toms back and send Amelia over to a table in the corner.

"Off to Whipsnade Zoo in Luton as a surprise for that little misses 4th birthday" I tell the young Lad.

"Heard it's a great place, never been myself but I have been to the partner Zoo in regents park." He tells me.

"Can we get 2 Coffees one with milk and one with milk and two sugars. A large Fruit salad with 2 forks and a spoon and …" Tom asks the guy behind the counter the shouts over to Amelia "What drink would you like Mils"

"Apple Please" Amelia says

"And an apple juice" Tom adds.

"Anything else sir?"

"No thanks not yet anyway, How much will that be?" Tom asks the lad.

"£5.90 Please" He says, Tom takes out the money and waits for his change then he takes my hand and we walk over to where Amelia is sat with Uno.

"I'm having the comfy Seat next to Millie" I say as we get closer and run off with Tom hot on my heels.

"No fair I've been driving for an hour and a half" Tom says, I get there first and sit down but Tom comes over and sits on me.

"You need to cut down on the food" I tell him.

"I'm not that bad am I?" Tom says.

"I was only Joking" I say and I give him a Kiss "Now get off of me" Tom gets up and goes to sit at the other side of the table and we start mucking about with Amelia and just having fun before we get our food and then all I could hear from the elderly couple sat next to us was the man say "Wouldn't it be nice to be young again" and the Woman said "Loves young dream" and then they get up and walk up to us wish happy birthday to Amelia after the waiter had also done the same when they came over with our order, then they told us to enjoy our surprise trip and left.

After eating and drinking our food we all took a pit stop to the toilets and then left ready for the rest of the journey.

"Pass me the Keys babe" I tell Tom while he's strapping up Amelia. I get in the driver's seat to finish the drive up.

"You don't have to drive baby" Tom says standing next to drives door.

"It's only fair now get in the car" I instruct him.

Tom and Amelia are playing eye spy with the odd answer from me but its hard to play when you are trying to concentrate on the road after another hour and 15 minutes we come across a sign pointing to Whipsnade which is so nice to see as we know where are going to be able to see little Millie's face when she gets there, she has been to a Zoo before but only a small petting Zoo. As I pull up into the car park there are no clues to tell her where we could be.

"Morning Miss, have you pre-booked tickets?" the ranger asks.

"Yep" I reply.

"If you carry on up for a couple of meters you should see a sign which says pre-paid, if you park in there you will be closer to the underground walkway which will lead straight to the gates" The ranger says.

"Thanks" I tell him.

"No Problem, enjoy your day" He replies as I drive on the find a space. After finding a space we get out the car and stretch our legs for a bit but before we head into the Zoo I quickly put some sun cream on Millie as it is quite warm today. Tom gets the picnic out of the boot and makes sure he has the tickets and everything else we are going to need such as the camera.

"Ready Tom?" I ask him as I lock up the car and take Millie's hand.

"Yep" He replies taking my hand. We walk off into the direction of the underground passage which to all of our surprise is painted with lots of different animals along the walls and as soon as Amelia notice the Giraffes which has been painted as if to be making an arch over you her face was just lit up so much and then she turned and asked if we were at a Zoo, I simply nodded and she screamed so loud that everyone turned and looked at us and me and Tom couldn't help but laugh off the embarrassment. We walked up to the fast track gate where there is only a couple of people in the cue other than the other gate where there are hundreds waiting to get in.

"Welcome to Whipsnade Zoo can I see our tickets please" The young ranger asked.

"Here you go" Tom says as he passes them to her.

"Can I have one of your hands please" She asks us all and then stamps a hand each so that we can get back in if we need to go back to the car.

"Enjoy your day" She says

"Thanks" I reply as we walk through the gates and little Amelia's face was just picture perfect so Tom got out the camera and took one. She didn't know what to say or do so Tom picks her up and I take the picnic basket and bag over to the map where we decide where to start. A little boy comes running up and pushing in so he can see the map.

"So sorry you two, my son's just a bit excited" a man comes up behind us , I recognise his voice but can't figure out why, I turn around a look at him…

"Louis, Oh my god" I say as I realize who it is.

"Sam is that you, Dad never said you were back" Louis said just as shocked as me.

"Your Dad said you don't even speak to him anymore" I tell him.

"How would you know?" He replied.

"We work with him…" I tell Louis.

"We do?" Tom questions.

"Yep, This is Charlie's Son Louis, we grew up together" I tell Tom.

"Oh Nice to meet you I'm Tom, Sam's Partner" Tom says.

"Well I'm Louis, this is my son Jay and my Fiancé Claire is around somewhere" Louis says.

"Well this is my little Monkey Amelia" Tom says "We are here for her birthday"

"I'm 4 today" Amelia says.

"Well it was great seeing you but we are going to head off, catch you around and you better phone you're Dad" I tell Louis as we walk off towards the Lemurs.

"So you have known Charlie all your life? Is that why you trust him so much and share so much with him" Tom asks.

"There's nothing he doesn't know about me so I can't really lie to him even if I tried" I replied.

"Whys that?" Tom asked.

"It's a long story I'll tell you another time" I Tell him grabbing his hand and running over to the Lemurs walk through enclose where he places Amelia down and lets her walk through in front of us while he take lots of photos of her with lemurs jumping over her and then he starts taking photos of me so I try and hide but Amelia is too small to hind behind so i just pose with Millie looking up and pointing to the lemurs. The days just begun…


	32. Chapter 32

**_AN - This chapter may be a bit boring but all the animals listed was just to give you a really feel of what it is like walking around the Zoo ( in my opinion its amazing, better then the Zoo in jersey!) - Enjoy :)_**

After spending a good 20 minutes with the lemurs, watching them play about and jump around over your heads and even coming close enough to stroke them, Amelia was In love with them she said there stripy tails reminded her of a zebra little did she know that by the end of the day we would see one.

Our next stop was over at the Lynx enclose but we didn't see any so we left to see some wild boars but Amelia complained that they smelt so Tom stayed to take some photos as there was baby ones while me and Amelia when over to see the bears and Wolverines.

"Look mummy that one's having a bath" Amelia shouted pointing over to the bears giggling.

"Do you think his bath is hot or cold" I ask her and she thought about it for a while then told me it was cold before we turned around to look at the wolverines.

"Mummy I can't see them" Amelia said, sounding very sad so I picked her up and put her on my shoulders so she could see everything as we walked past as the fences where taller than her. We watched the Wolverines for a while until Tom had caught up and taken pictures of both them and the bears.

(Tom's POV)

We had walked over towards the penguins, Amelia on Sam's shoulders and me following close behind taking photos. When we arrived at the penguins Sam's face was just so cute she looked like the happiest person ever, without a care in the world and I loved it when she was pointing to all the penguins and getting Amelia laughing I was standing around taking photos and It just felt so perfect, Nothing could ruin this moment!

"Tom" Sam came running over to me after placing Amelia down.

"You having fun babe?" I ask as she got closer to me.

"The best time ever thank you" Sam said and gave me a quick peck "Now go over there and be with your daughter I'll take some photos for a while so you can be in them with her!" Sam ordered. So I gave her the camera and walked over to Amelia too look at the penguins.

(End OF POV)

I can never get over how cute Tom and Amelia look together, she is the splitting image of him. It was 11:30 and we had already been at the Zoo for an hour this just shows that time does fly when you're having fun we have only seen a fraction of the animals here and spent most of the time with the lemurs and penguins.

"Tom, we have been here an hour already can you believe it" I said walking up to him and snaking my hands around his waist.

"Already?" He questions. I just nod and lean into him. After persuading Amelia to leave the penguins and move on we went to see some Chimpanzees, Bison's which Amelia just thought where big cows so we didn't spend much time there, some otters which we spent a while watching them play with some stones they had dug up and then we watched a ranger giving the red pandas there lunch and they let Amelia help them and she also got to stroke one. She loved the little things she thought they were very cute. We then stopped off to have out Lunch where we got someone to take a picture of all three of us together. We then moved over to the birds of the world seating area to watch a show which Amelia didn't find to interesting until near the end when they had some parrots give us a very colourful show.

We then took her to the discovery centre where she could see lots of different reptiles but she wasn't impressed with this but it was good fun to see Tom getting excited like a little boy over them. We then moved down to the children's farm where we could pet llamas, donkeys, ponies and some goats to save Uno I ask a ranger to look after him while we were here he was happy to leave him in his office until we moved onto the next area.

Our next stop was with the sea-lions as they also have a demonstration, we sat by the front so that Amelia could see, after a while me and Tom regretted it as we got very wet but Amelia was loving it.

Then we went onto a little steam train that took us on a journey through Asia where we saw; elephants, rhinos, yaks, dears, camels, sloth bears and native horses. The train stopped by the Tigers so we went to see if we could spot any we found two.

We then made our way up around the outer area as we knew the giraffes where in the middle. Around this area was cheetahs, hippos, flamingos, lions, meerkats, oryx (they look like deer's with big antlers), antelope, white rhinos, reindeers (which we spent a very long time with as Amelia was looking for santa), bongos (they look like antelope), wolves and moose.

As soon as Amelia's eyes clocked on to the giraffes she was gone running straight towards them.

"Where's Uno I want to show the giraffes him" Amelia asks. Me and Tom just look at each other with the same face where is he.

"Keep her here I think I know where he is" Tom said running off.

"Where's daddy going and where's Uno" She asks again.

"Daddy's just going to the toilet, and Uno in the bag you can have him when daddy gets back" I say hoping he manages to find him.

"But I want him now" Amelia says starting to cry.

"Sweetie you can have him in a minute" I try to reason with her but she isn't having it and cries, I grab her into a hug to try and comfort her.

"Hey, what's wrong" a ranger asks Amelia.

"Her dad's gone off to the toilet but he has her giraffe in his bag and she is a little upset that she can't show him to the giraffes" I explain still holing Amelia.

"Oh dear, well I just so happen to be about to feed the giraffes maybe there's a little girl around here who wants to help me" the ranger says trying to get Amelia's attention.

"I do, I do" I said.

"Mummy you're not a little girl though so it will have to be me" Amelia says giggling.

"Well then what's your name" The ranger asked.

"Amelia" she answered.

"And how old are you Amelia" the ranger asks.

"4, it's my birthday today" she says smiling.

"Really, well then I think you can come with me all the way up those steps to help me feed the giraffes, their names are Sahara, Savannah, Uno and the baby ones called Safari" The ranger says.

"My giraffes called Uno and can I really" Amelia asks.

"If it's okay with your Mummy"

"Sure, she adores giraffe's I'll wait down here and take some photos"

Amelia goes off with the ranger up the stairs to be level with the giraffes once at the top she passes Amelia some braches with leaves on for her to feed them with. They are chatting away up there I wonder what about then I here Amelia all down "Mummy it licked me" Her face is just so amazing I've taken loads of photos of her up there. She gets to stroke the giraffes the ranger passes her some fruit to give them.

"Where's Millie" Tom asks when he arrives back with a Uno in his hands. Amelia must have heard his voice as she looked down and saw Uno in his had she ask the ranger to come down with her. When the got to the bottom she gives me a mango and then takes Uno off of Tom and give him a big hug. We then asked the ranger if she would take a picture of me, Tom and Amelia with the giraffes she agrees so we pass her the camera and forgetting about the mango in my hands I put my hand behind my back and the other around Tom with Amelia in the middle of us but just as the ranger goes to take the photo 2 giraffes bend down and try to take the mango out of my hands which leads us all to turning around a looking at them she took a photo when it happened and then told us she would take another one when they have finished eating which didn't take them too long so she re took it which was a much better photo. She also let Amelia go into the barn when they keep the baby Giraffe and let Amelia have her picture by herself with the baby, one with Amelia and the ranger whose name is Amy with the giraffe and then us three with the giraffe, we say thank you to Amy and then head over to the park to let Amelia have a run around before we leave as it is nearly 6:30 already! After a 20 minute play we went into the gift shop where Amelia got a pillow which says I love Whipsnade Zoo and has a giraffe on it and then we left to head off to the hotel after the best day of little Amelia's life and maybe even mine! I hope Tom enjoyed himself after organizing this, I will have to ask him later after we arrive at the hotel.


	33. Chapter 33

_**AN - Sorry for the late update, had a busy day today! and I didn't even get to watch casualty, I'm so upset about that it will be the first thing i do tomorrow when I wake up - hope you like the chapter. :)**_

Tom is driving us down to Windsor to stay in our hotel a couple of miles from Legoland. We are taking Amelia there tomorrow. After driving for about 10 minutes Amelia had fallen asleep, I wanted to as well but I knew I wouldn't sleep if tonight if I did now in the car so me and Tom just spoke about everything and everything.

"Did you have fun today" Tom asked me.

"I think it comes close to being the best day ever" I say.

"Oh really, well what day would you class as the best one?" Tom asks.

"There are too many to choose from but one of them would have to of been the day I met you" I smiled. "What about you did you enjoy it?"

"It was great, the staff where so kind Amy went above and beyond to make Millie's day especially after the miss placing of Uno but you know what Sam, I don't think the day would have been half as amazing without you there, I'm so glad that Mr Jordan let us have the weekend off" Tom said reaching over and stroking my leg.

"Stop it you, you will make me blush... I'm not that fun to be around and why are you all so scared of Nick" I say as I have noticed most of the ED members won't approach him unless they need or want something.

"Sam your company is great and anyone would be blessed to be in to!" Tom said smiling at me "I'm not scared of him, it's just he can be a little hard to approach sometimes. When I need a second opinion on a patient I don't feel I can ask Mr Jordan as he may think I'm not a good Doctor"

"Nick would never doubt anyone as a doctor, he has very high standards and won't just higher anyone so you must have been able to make the cut. In fact Mr Jordan told me about how you turned his offer down for a helicopter even though you are scared of heights but then later accepted the job and I believe he will never look back on that decision as you a valued member of staff" I smile at to and give his leg a little squeeze.

"I don't understand you Sam, you are the newest member in our team yet you are the only one who is not scared of Mr Jordan, in fact you go around calling him Nick and the only people who ever got away with that was Charlie just down to the fact they have known each other for ever and Zoe because they are together but yet when you do it he says nothing and even you famous little catch phase when he tells you something that you don't agree with you turn around and walk off saying 'Whatever old man' and he just chuckles and walks off, how is this so if any of us where to say anything like that we would lose our jobs" Tom said and shot me a confused look. I let out a giggle.

"Oh Dr Kent you do make me laugh, why can't all of you just have a laugh with him he isn't as bad as you lot make him out to be and is it wrong to be friendly with someone you have known a while? I knew Nick before I started at the ED" I say still giggling a little.

"And why would that be Dr Nicholls, Zoe seems to think that maybe you were a past partner of Mr Jordan's but we all managed to put her straight by explain that he is old enough to be your dad but she is so worried that you are going to take him away from her which is why she isn't at all very nice to you, so what is the reason that as soon as you start you can be laughing about with the boss and even bossing him around" Tom says is a very confused tone.

"That just is not right, he is old enough to be my dad and god I would never date him and like I have said I knew him before the job and he knows that whatever I say he would be a fool not to listen to" I explain.

"Why so?" Tom asks.

"Look Tom I would love to tell you but can it just wait until this weekends over as I don't know how you will react and I don't want to ruin it for Amelia" I say giving him a smile.

"It can't be that bad can it?" Tom asks.

"Please can we just wait for Amelia's sake" I ask again but with more power in my voice.

"Alright babe, it can wait." He said stroking my leg.

"Tom" I say in a winey voice.

"Sam" He replies in the same tone.

"I'm bored" I say casually.

"Well we will be at the hotel in about 10 minutes then we can snuggle up and watch a film with a Pizza" Tom says smiling.

"Sounds great, what film?" I question him.

"Whatever's on TV" He chuckles, I just giggle at him. Tom when to say something else but was interrupted by my phone ringing.

(Nick' POV)

There's been a major incident and we need all the help we can get the only option is to ring up Sam and see if she and Tom can come back…

"Sammy, is that you?" I ask.

"No it's the man from the moon… you else would be answering my phone?" Sam replies sarcastically.

"Look Sammy, there's no time to muck about where are you at the moment" I ask her hoping she is close by as Tom didn't even tell me where they were going.

"What's going on?" Sam asks.

"There's been a major accident at a factory and we need all the help we can get" I explain.

"Well we are 2 hours away by the time we get to Holby it will be too late, can't you get any locums in?" Sam says.

"Well I guess I'm going to have too" I reply.

"Sorry, maybe you should close the ED and transfer all minor patients to St James" Sam tells me.

"That sounds like a good plan, well I better go its chaos out there" I tell her.

"Well, good luck then, talks to you soon" Sam tells me.

"And you, Love you Sammy" I reply.

"The same to you" Sam says and hangs up. I rush about trying to organise things

(End of POV)

"Who was that?" Tom asks.

"Nick, there's been a major incident" I say.

"Do they need our help?" Tom asks.

"No its fine Nick agree we wouldn't be much help being 2 hours away from the hospital" I reply.

"Well let's go inside then" Tom says pulling into the hotels car park. I walk around to get Amelia out of her car seat and pick her up making sure we have Uno, I then close the door and walk over to Tom who has our bags. We lock up the car and walk over to the check in desk.

"We have a booking under Kent" Tom tells the lady behind the desk while she is sorting out the keys so asks…

"Did you have a busy day?"

"Yep we spent the day at Whipsnade Zoo" I reply while Tom is sorting out some booking things.

"Well here are your Keys, hope you enjoy your stay" the lady behind the desk says passing me the keys.

We walk off to the lift and go find our room its number 231. When we get in I place Amelia down on to the bed and slowly remove her shoes trying not to wake her she stirs a little but doesn't wake, me and Tom take our shoes off and sit down on the bed after turning on the TV, we order a Pizza from Room service then we snuggle down and watch what looks like the hangover…


	34. Chapter 34

**_AN - Another late update as it has been a busy but a good day, was listiening to JLS, James Arthur and Union J Live which was going great until a thunderstorm decided to come out of no where during this heatwave... Anyway Enjoy :)_**

I can feel myself slipping in and out of sleep and I'm feeling really tried as I spent most of the night like it feeling guilty that I could not be there to support my Dad and the rest of the ED team when they needed it most, I grab my phone and check the time 5:30. I wanted to phone him to see how he is and how last night went but it will be too early, I can't decide what to do so I phone up the ED and ask what time he left… I was told he took a double shift and is still in the ED and once free he will phone me back, so what am I meant to do know I can't sleep and I can't do much else as they are asleep. I decide to get dressed back into the shorts and top I had on yesterday and to go for a run as I don't want to ruin the clothes I have for today, I write Tom a note telling him where I will be as when we were pulling up towards the hotel I noticed a park that I could go for a run around in. I pick up my phone, the hotel key and put my shoes on.

After arriving in the lobby I wonder if this is such a good idea as I've never actually be in Windsor before and don't know my way around.

"Morning, did you have a good night's sleep" The man behind the counter asks.

"It was great thanks" I lie to him but he doesn't notice.

"If you don't mind me asking where are you off to at this time in the morning on a Sunday?" He asks

"For a run" I reply simply and leave.

After running down the road to the park and then running around the track I decide to sit down and check my phone, 6:00 it's been half an hour I hope everything is alright I sit here for another 10minutes getting myself all worried so I decide to phone the ED back…

"Hello Noel, is Mr Jordan free yet?" I ask.

"I'll just go check" Noel adds placing the phone on the top.

"He will be with you shortly just got to transfer the call through" Noel says after picking up the phone.

"Thanks Noel" The call is transferred.

"Sammy what's up" Nick asks.

"Dad, I feel really bad that I couldn't be there to help you last night" I tell him.

"Oh princess it's fine we managed without you and Tom don't worry about it" Nick try's to reassure me.

"Well todays our last day away we will be back tomorrow, what shift are you on?" I ask him.

"I know you are Princess and I can't wait to see what you got me… Zoe no it's not what you think, it's my daughter, yes my daughter who lives away, it doesn't matter now can I carry on the phone call I will come and find you after I'm done, goodbye Zoe… sorry about that Sammy she can be a little bit protective but after her last partner I'm not surprised." Nick says

"She knows about me? And who said I got you anything" I say.

"She knows about you and Jack, she knows Jack is MIA and she thinks you live away and I do" Nick tells me.

"Well I have got you something and Zoe isn't going to want to know if she finds out I'm you daughter and well Tom he needs to know as well I was so close to tell him last night but I didn't know how well he would take it and being miles away from you I decide not to tell him, the truth needs to come out dad but I'm too scared and what about Dylan, I can't tell him I'm married" I tell Nick sounding a little upset.

"Sammy please don't cry we will work it out I promise and if Tom truly loves you he won't care that you are technically married or the bosses daughter he didn't mind when he found out about your scars"

"That's because he doesn't know the story if I told him he wouldn't want to know me, I'm broken dad and no one will want me if they know everything I'm so scarred of losing him and Amelia, it's not like with Dylan I actually think I love Tom, Dylan was just there as he could comfort me but Tom different I trust him with my life but I can't tell him my story in case he runs" I say with tears streaming down my face and fear in my voice.

"Please don't Sammy you will make me all upset as I'm not there to help you, please just go and have fun today and talk to me tomorrow when you get back, we will try and sort it all out then okay?" Nick asks.

"Okay, well we are off to LEGOLAND so I think we will have fun and the Zoo was just amazing daddy you would love it"

"Really well you will have to take me one day won't you and I'm sure you will have an amazing time at LEGOLAND you did when I took you and Jack you both had so much fun" Nick said

"I will one day daddy and I remember, I was 5 and Jack was 11 it was great I bet its change so much since then and I suppose I better go as I've been out for an hour and Tom doesn't even know I've left as he was asleep when I went out. And I'm cold as well, Love you lots daddy" I say.

"I love you more than the world" Nick replies and hangs up. I just smile to myself and make my way back to the hotel.

On arrival at the hotel I was greeted by the same receptionist as when I left he just ask how my run was and I told him it was great and carried on up to the lift when I got outside of our room I couldn't hear anyone so I slowly open ait and closed it again and noticed both where still asleep so I took of my shoes and got change back into what I went to bed in. I check the time a notice its 6:45 we have loads of time to waste considering LEGOLAND doesn't open until 10 and its only going to take us 10 minutes to drive there lucky Tom and Amelia are still asleep.

I've sat here for about 45 minutes and I'm starting to get myself worked up worrying how Tom will react when I do tell him… I wish one of them would hurry up and wake up I can't sit here by myself in the silence with nothing to do for much longer. I decide the only option is to get back into the bed and try to sleep but I don't think it's going to work, I climb back into the bed trying not to wake Tom once in I cuddle up to him with my head on his chest and one of my arms around his body, I can feel his heart beating witch is very comforting…

"Morning beautiful" Tom says as he places a short kiss on my lips.

"Morning, what time is it" I say as I rub my eyes.

"just gone 9" Tom says as he sits up which requires me to move so I just sit next to him leaning on him.

"Sleep well" I ask Tom, knowing full well he did.

"Yep, what about you?"

"Alright I guess" and I look up and kiss him, Tom deepens the kiss and we are there for a while in bliss until we hear Amelia "Ewww" we stop and just laugh pulling Amelia into a hug.

After Tom having a shower I helped Amelia have one and then had one my self and Tom help finish getting her read while I go ready then we pack up our things and make sure we have everything before going down to the restaurant for a quick bite to eat, me and Amelia make our way over to the restaurant while Tom goes to put to bags in the boot and hand the keys in. For breakfast I just have a yogurt and a cup of sugary tea, Amelia has marmalade on toast with some orange juice and Tom has a bacon roll with a coffee.

Making sure we have Uno we walk back to the car park on our way out saying thank you and we get into the car for the short journey to LEGOLAND Amelia doesn't know where we are going yet again so it will be great to see what she says when we arrive, the car journey was silent not an awkward one a nice one (Well not so nice for me). I'm not sure what Toms thinking about and Amelia is playing with Uno but I'm still worrying about how this could be the last time I spend any time with them so I better make it worth it as tomorrow I shall tell him the truth and I'm not sure what scares me more the fact that the whole ED will know I'm the boss daughter or the fact Tom will know that I had an affair when I was with Dylan… Only time will tell but for now let's enjoy the day as we pull up into LEGOLAND Amelia starts to ask loads of questions and when we tell her where we are she is ecstatic.


	35. Chapter 35

**_AN - Again this is another chapter which may be boring as it s just to have the feel of walking around Legoland, Im not sure if i like it but the next chapter will make up for it :) - Enjoy_**

Before getting out of the car we gave Millie a chat about not running off and that if she does it once we will leave even if we haven't been everywhere we also convinced her to leave Uno in the car as we didn't want a re-enactment of yesterday and she eventually agreed with us and also she promised us she wouldn't so we got out of the car making sure we had our tickets, spare clothes for Millie and our phones as who knows who may phone you.

After getting through the gate the firsts things where shops, a café and a star wars display both me and Amelia where happy to bypass this one but Tom being the big kid he is we had to go in and have look, we couldn't really say no even if we tried as he was the one that brought us the tickets.

We then looked at the map and decide on what looked fun. There was this ride it was a bit like a roller coaster but it just showed you the park and it didn't go to fast with no major ups and downs, Millie enjoyed this but me and Tom had a feeling she would not enjoy a bigger ride.

The next ride we went past was called space tower, you had to pull yourself up to the top and then you would drop all the back down but you didn't drop to fast , there was only room for 2 in a seat so I let Tom go on as I had been on the ride before with Jack. It was quite funny watching them struggle to get to the top and I took lots of photos, Tom didn't look to happy because Millie was just laughing at him not being able to do it correctly.

"I would have been able to do that but Millie didn't help" Tom said in a strop when they got back down and I just laughed at him, gave him a quick peck on the cheek and took his hand as we made our way to the next ride.

On our way to the next ride we came across mini-land which is a selection of scenes from around the world, it was amazing to see what people can make when they put their minds to it. We took loads of photos here of all the different places my favourite had to be Buckingham palace. In the middle of the mini-land there was some remote control boats that we each had a go at and Millie was better at it then me but Tom was just great a managing to steer his boat mine well let's just say if it could sink it would have I crashed into everything and every time I hit some Millie started to laugh at me which set us all off. Once we had all had enough which well was me in the first couple of minutes we moved on to the next place.

The next place was called fairy tale brook, it was a little boat trip where we called see all the fairy tales come to life in Lego. We all manage to fit into the boat but I must say Tom found this very boring but every time he mentioned it I just turned around and said Star wars and he shut up knowing that we didn't really want to spend all that time in there. Amelia loved this little trip and Tom managed to catch a lot of the great a magical faces she pulled on camera.

We then went over to the fire academy where we each took a hold of a hose and tried to put out the burning building but it wasn't an easy task we got there in the end but it took us a very long time and by this time it was around 12:30 she we should be looking for some where to eat so we stop for a while and take a look at the map. We notice that just around the corner was a baguette bar so we decided to get something from there. After eating and letting our food go down we made our way over to a boating school where we can all sit in this electric boat and steer it around a water course I decided it would be best that Tom drove it with some help from Amelia after what I was like with the remote control ones. Right next to this there was an area for 3-5 year olds where they watched a road safety video and then got to drive an electric car around a course and if they could complete it safely they would get a LEGOLAND driving licence, Amelia got one and then ask if it meant she could drive daddy's car me and Tom just burst out laughing.

We then went on this Lego submarine journey was great fun. It was like a whole world underneath the water but before we could leave there was a shop and Amelia had to buy something. Next we came across a Dino Safari where in drove a little Lego car around a track that is decorated like a prehistoric land I let Tom go on this one with her as I thought he would enjoy it more. We than walked past the hotel and got to an area called squid surfers which I went on with Amelia.

There were some diggers that you could use but Amelia didn't want to so we all when on a balloon ride instead. After getting off of the balloon we when on a ride called Viking river splash as it was the next ride that Amelia wanted to go on, it took us on a journey through a land which was made to look like one where the Vikings lived, we should of thought about this ride as by the end of it we had all got wet!

The last thing we went on before making our way over to Duplo land was called the dragon's apprentice which is basically a rollercoaster for kids. We then made our way back down towards Duplo Valley as we knew it would be where Amelia would have more fun so we decided to wait until the end also we waited as the sun wouldn't not be as strong at this time for her to be running about in a swimming costume, even though we have been putting sun-cream on her throughout the day we both still worry that she may get burnt.

When we arrive at Duplo Valley it is 4:15, before we go into the actual water zone there is a ride where you can pilot a plane which Tom when on with Amelia, Amelia loved this her face was just amazing I took some more photos but try not to take to many as we have taken loads throughout today and yesterday so I would be surprised if we don't run out of room.

The next thing Amelia did was play in the splash safari where she was running around getting very wet but she was just having a great time! She was getting splashed from models of safari animals and when she got the giraffe that squirted out water she was amazed and just played around the giraffe for about 20 minutes when she then noticed the bigger area called drench towers which was just full of waterslides and tipping blocks she was running around having a great time she made sure she went down all the slides at least once. She came flying down one of the slides from the top of the tower and ran over to us asking for one of us to go on this raft ride with her me and Tom argued about it so much that in the end Tom said he would go first if I went on after him with her, so they went to line up and when they had got to the bottom of the ride I decided to run away from them but it didn't work very well as Tom caught me and span me around in circles and kissing my neck as he did so before carrying me back over to the ride were I went on with Amelia, it was official I was soaked thanks to the ride, having Amelia sat on me in her wet swimsuit and then after I got off the ride Tom picked me up and walked over to where the buckets tip water and held me under one… It was no around 6 o'clock me and Tom had partly dried off and we had changed Amelia into dry clothes before making our way over to a family buffet area where we had our tea and then made our way over to the shop where Amelia brought a Lego and so did Tom he got a star wars one, I brought Amelia a Lego friends style cup and straw and I got dad a set to build a pencil holder and once we had finished in the shop we made our way back to the car.


	36. Chapter 36

_**AN - Congratulations to the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge on the birth of the new Prince xx - This chapter would of been longer but by the time i had finished it was over 3,000 words which I thought was too long so its cut in half, Enjoy :)**_

We get into the car making sure that we have everything as we are about to head off home after the busy weekend we have just had as soon as we open Amelia's door she grabs Uno and hugs him and says sorry for leaving him alone all day she just didn't want to lose him. Once loading the car up and strapping Amelia in me and Tom get in he is going to drive for now but if he gets tried I told him to pull into a service station and we will swap.

I sit here a wonder for a good 10 minutes about how and what to tell Tom I want to tell him about my past I really do but then again I scared, I want to tell him about Nick but I would rather Nick was around when I do so I want to tell him a lot of things and I suppose what better time have we got other than being stuck in a car together for 2 hours. Amelia has fallen asleep holding Uno so it is lucky we got something to eat at LEGOLAND. Oh well there's no time like the present I guess…

"Tom" I say with a little fear in my voice.

"What's up babe?" Tom asks.

"Well, you know you want to know how I got my scars well I know you know how I got them but why I got them I guess…" I say shaking and tracing the little neat white lines on my wrist.

"Sam I can see this upsetting you. You don't have to tell me babe its okay" Tom says stroking my leg.

"I do, Tom there is so much I need to tell you about my life" I tell him a little bit worried.

"As long as you're sure I'm not going to force you to tell me anything, I love you Sam just remember that" Tom says smiling.

"13 Years ago nearly 14 now, my brother was reported Missing in Action. When we got the letter down I wasn't sure what was going on and my mum and dad after reading it sat there in silence for a good 10 minutes before my mother turned to me a shouted at my claiming it that it was my fault my brother joined the army my fault he left and my fault he missing because if I hadn't of been so clingy to him he would never of left. I was so hurt by what she had said because I knew that Jack loved me and loved having me around he would take me places that mum and dad never would partly because dad was a world class surgeon and never had much time to spend with us and mum well she wasn't bothered she was more into drinking alcohol so I grew up in the hands of my brother we used to muck about in fields climbing trees, making dens, inventing our own games or swimming in lakes. We used to get shouted at and told by the filed owners that they would phone the police on us if we carried on trespassing I was only around 6 but Jack was 12 and he loved it and well so did I. I loved Jack so much that when it came to him leaving for the army a couple of years later at 16 I was only 10 but I knew this meant I would not be able to spend time with him, he left me a couple of his jumpers and told me to give him one of mine and he told me that whenever I miss him I am to give the jumper a hung and he would feel it and the same if he missed me he would hug the jumper I gave him. So that last day in to airport when all the other new recruits where saying goodbye to their families, me and dad where stood there proud watching Jack go through the gates after saying our goodbyes but just before Jack went he turned to me and said Oi Smidge, Just remember I going out here to keep you safe! I love you my little Smidgy…" I tell him with tears in my eyes.

"Oh Sam that's terrible I don't believe you could be clingy to anyone you know when to stop and Sam why Smidge?" Tom asks.

"Well because I'm Sam and because if you were to see me, Jack, Dad and my mum all stood in a row I would be tiny compared to the rest so I was a midget and Jack just called me it once and it stuck ever since" I tell him letting out a little giggle thinking about the old days.

"He would be out for 6 months then come back for 3 months and every time he was back we went out and mucked about doing the same stuff we used to do and then the day before he would be leaving to go off again he would take me to the pub just across the road from the ED and we would sit there drinking and laughing about and I would listen to stories about Afghanistan until Dad finished work which was normally around 7 and by that time people would be coming into to get drunk so we would leave with dad and go of home to be greeted by our own drunk mother so me, Jack and dad would go sit in Jacks room and play games and just chat until I fall asleep and I would stay in Jacks room that night every time just to be close to him. That was all until that letter came and she blamed me that night i went and sat on Jacks bed and just cried hoping the pain of the words she said ringing in my ears would stop but it didn't and then I noticed jack had left one of his knifes on his bedside table so I took it and placed it to my wrist it felt so good like the pain was leaving my body but not before long did I pass out from losing to much blood I don't know how long I was blacked out but I woke up the next day in the ED with Charlie, and my Dad by my bed checking out the cuts, they had to be stitched up I was only 14 which made everyone more worried. Dad had convinced Charlie not to get in touch with psych because it was a one off but it wasn't It got worse as when Dad was at work she would carry on telling me that I was worthless a mistake if I hadn't of been born Jack would never of left and so on, I would lock myself in my room with the razor from a sharpener or something the same and slice myself up until I was numb. Things got worse though as I had been slicing my arm so much I didn't feel like it did anything so I stopped eating and it helped because whenever my stomach cramped it was like telling me to eat but I would fight that away making me forget about my mum and her words. It got so bad though that I just became a bag of bones and I couldn't hide it from Dad even though he wasn't around much he still noticed I was 15 I had been slicing myself for a year and staving myself for 6 months with only the old sandwich at school so my friends didn't notice but when Lauren went to my dad worried about me after she noticed I wasn't eating much and I was where long sleeves in summer which was so out of character that my dad spoke to Charlie about it wondering what to do. But after a P.E lesson at school out in the sun I collapsed and was rushed straight to the ED to be treated where Charlie got Psych involved and I was referred to a psychiatric ward where I had to stay until I was at a stable weight It was so hard being in there as they took away everything possible that you could hurt yourself with and they forced you to eat but I didn't I would make myself sick so I didn't have to but one night after my dad and Lauren visited I lied on my bed and their words ran through my head what would Jack think?" I explained with tears running down my face.

"Oh Sammy I wish I was there to help you back then and I know I can't change the past but I can help the future I'm here for you now. I believe Jack would have been very angry and hurt by what you did but not at you he would have been more angry with your mum for making it happen" Tom said giving me a quick hug as he had been stopped in traffic for about 5 minutes.

"Thank you tom" I gave him a peck on the cheek "That's what I thought I can't do this Jack needs me to be strong for him he needs me to hold out hope that he still out there. That morning when I got up I walked in the canteen and ate some toast all the staff where so shocked at it that they called a meeting to discuss options and at lunch time that day after I ate a chicken wrap I felt so ill but I knew it was just down to eating something and then in the afternoon we had a student doctor come and visit the ward he name was Dylan Keogh, he would visit the ward and help out every Wednesday afternoon when he was studying. I became great friends with Dylan and on the day of my leave 6 months after being in there I took his number off him and we met up in a bar the day after and we met up quite a lot and I fall for him back then I thought it was love but since being with you I realized that I didn't 'Love' Dylan I loved him more like a friend someone to be there for you someone to lean on he was my rock and I will be forever grateful to him" I tell Tom with a little smile.


	37. Chapter 37

_**AN - Here is the other half of that chapter, I know all the Army stuff is wrong but I just made it up, they would never let someone with a mental illness in and also I don't know how long it take to train as a doctor so I guessed, Enjoy :) **_

"Oh Sammy, I'm here for now and for always I can't believe you have been through so much. Do you mean the same Dylan Keogh we work with?" Tom asks.

"Thank you Tom, for this you did exactly what I would wish someone to do, not to ask questions, not to show sympathy but just to listen and be there for me and yes I do mean that Dylan Keogh" I tell we are about 10 minutes away from Tom's and I just can't wait to get out of this car after another two hour long trip and just be able to snuggle up to Tom.

"If you too are friends why is there so much tension between you too?" Tom asks, I don't mind these questions as they are not based on my life, they are just questions to try and lighten the mood another thing I love about Tom.

"Now Dr Kent if I told you that, I would have to move away" I tell him giggling a little bit.

"And why would that be" Tom questions.

"Because you most likely are not going to like the answer and I would not be able to live without you knowing that you work in the same building as me" I admit, we pull up in Toms drive and I get out of the car a stretch before walking over to Amelia's car seat and taking her out slowly not to wake her. Tom has unlocked the door and has come back to the car to take out all the bags, I make sure I have Uno and take Amelia inside and up to her bed, once up stairs and I have placed Amelia down I slowly take off her shoes and tuck her in leaving Uno next to her. I take of my shoes and pick up Amelia's leaving them at the top of the stairs I'll take them down in a minute but I want to quickly get changed into something more comfy. I pick up one of Toms t-shirts and put on a pair of hot pants, his top near goes down to my knees. I pick up our shoes and walk down stairs to find Tom bringing in the last bags.

"You didn't go upstairs where shoes did you?" Tom asks in a stern voice but in a jokey way. He turns and closes the front door and kicks his shoes off.

"Maybe…" I reply in a little shy voice.

"Not only that but you have my top on, God Sam where are your manners" Tom jokes, picking me up and running through to the living room before placing me on the sofa.

"Now where were we before we got out of the car" Tom asks kissing me then moving so I can sit up.

"Talking about me and Dylan" I say giving him a kiss "Tom, I don't want this to change anything but I'm scared it might but whatever you think and whatever happens can I please just stay here tonight" I ask him.

"Of course Sam, but what your about to say can't be that bad surely" Tom says giving me a smile.

"Not sure I'd agree. Well me and Dylan met when I had just turned 16 he was 24, 8 years older than me but I couldn't help but fall for him unknown at the time the love I felt wasn't really love, I'm more then sure he knew though but never said anything a year later we married, I was 17. A few months after the wedding on the 3rd anniversary of Jack being missing a Camp was found and taken down freeing loads of soldiers but none where English after hearing the news I got out a knife and cut my wrist again I was at my dad's at the time as Dylan was on the late shift and my dad's shift was finishing soon again I woke up in hospital and made the promise to Charlie I would never do it again, Dylan came down to see if I was alright. I went home with my dad not long after and I went and sat in Jacks room and I stayed awake that night thinking about Jack, what he would want me to do, he was a great Solider, corporal in fact and the Army loved him, I came to the conclusion that instead of training to become a doctor over here I would train to be an army doc that way I may possibly find more camps and one that Jack may be trapped in, it was hard telling dad the next day he just cried when I told him. I knew he wouldn't take it well but once he had calmed down he told me it's my life and he won't hold me back, it was always my dream to become a doctor and whether I'm one here or over there he will still be proud of me. Dylan he was a little harder to convince it was the right thing to do for a start he just put me down and kept doing telling me that the Army would never take me as I had self-harmed he was right I did have a very slim chance but when the day came I went with my dad, being who he was the Army was happy to accept the deal, which was they would train me up for 6 years and if at any one time I showed that I wasn't coping I was out and if I made it through those 6 years and passed I would be in the Army… so that's what I did and I showed Dylan"

"Sam, you are such a brave woman and you have been through so much I'm happy for you, and I love you, we have all had previous partners for a start look at me, I have had loads since Amelia's mother but none of them have ever compared to you, you are my everything Sam" Tom said, but I hadn't finished.

"Well things didn't work out well for me and Dylan it was the distance that ruined us, when I came home from Tours he would never speak to me never answer anything I said and by coming home from my second tour he had turned to alcohol which I couldn't take so I cut my home leave early and went back, I was 25 and surrounded by men all the time and one night I gave in and went and slept with my corporal, Ian Dean. I knew it was wrong but I couldn't help myself me and Ian spent a lot of time together and when I came home from my third tour I admitted to Dylan I had, had an affair and that I was leaving him but Dylan being Dylan found comfort in a bottle and once again I left early and this carried on for another 2 years leading up to the events a couple of months ago where I left the Army and Ian Dean behind to come and work back in Holby, my first day back I gave Dylan the divorce papers and he still has not signed them he is trying to hind from the truth. Tom I'm sorry I love you so much but yes I am still technically married, I've signed mine its just down to Dylan" I explain with more tears forming.

"Sam, I don't know what to say, I love you too but you're married?" Tom asks, I just nod my head.

"you needed to know the truth Tom, I should of told you before things get this far" I tell him with a tear falling down my face "I understand if you want me gone, but no matter what Tom I will always love you and I mean it I thought I loved Dylan but what I felt for him was nothing compare to this, this is what I do believe is real love" I tell him standing up.

"Sam, don't leave, I will talk to him and I will get him to sign those papers. I know the love you are feeling as I feel the same this is so much more powerful than any love I have ever felt" Tom says standing up and pulling me into a hug. "I need you Sam, don't walk out on me" Tom whispers and kisses my hair.

"Thomas Kent, I love you more then you will ever know and if you truly want me to stay I will, I need you Tom you make me feel safe" I tell him resting my head on his chest and feeling his heat beat.

"Of course I want you to stay" Tom says kissing my forehead "Let's go snuggle in bed, its 10:30 and we need to be at work for 8:30." Tom takes my hand and we go and snuggle up on his bed, I rest my head on his chest and wrap an arm around him and he wraps his arms around me and we fall asleep like this.


	38. Chapter 38

**_AN - Too the review who asked how many chapters I plan or doing, I have no idea I am writing day by day now so when I come to a good place to stop I will :) - Enjoy_**

Me and Tom where both woken by cries coming from Amelia's room at around 5:30. Tom was up and in Amelia's room before I could register what was happening and then followed suit into her room. The first thing I saw was Tom giving little Millie the once over on the floor making sure that she was in a stable condition.

"What's happening" I ask Tom with fear thick in my voice.

"She's having an attack, they used to happen all the time but as she has got older they are less likely and normally have a trigger but at this time in the morning I can't figure out what would have caused it" Tom said. I could tell ye was worried but he wasn't about to let it show.

"How long do they last?" I asked.

"normally 30 seconds to a minute and she will have stopped but it's all down to how long it takes me to get to her, I lie her on a flat service on her side with her head tilted back and hold her body still. This helps control the attack and once calm I give her, her inhaler which then controls her breathing." Tom explains holding her fragile body with an inhale at his side.

"Tom does she normally take an inhaler before bed?" I question, bending down next to him.

"Yes, why?" Tom replied.

"She wasn't given it last night, this could be the cause" I tell him l, trying not to upset him even more.

"Sam, that's it, thank you she will be okay now, as she has calmed down and had the inhaler now every hour on the hour my mum will give her the inhaler to keep her breathing under control" Tom says rocking Millie in his arms trying to soothe her. "its okay princess, daddy's here" Tom whispers in to her hair.

"Millie, you're going to be alright I promise me and daddy will never let you get hurt" I say moving over to Tom and giving Millie a kiss on the forehead and hugging Tom.

We had calmed Amelia down and had been watching some cartoons with her for a good half an hour when I decided on going to have a shower and getting ready for our shift. I went back down stairs 40 minutes later and it was around 7 so I made Amelia some pancakes for breakfast and some for Tom he had gone to get ready. I was feeling too hungry after that shock this morning so I just had an Apple and a cup of coffee.

"Millie breakfast" I called her into the kitchen.

"Yay pancakes, thanks Mummy" Amelia said as she saw them on the table.

"Make sure you have some of the fruit and drink the milk too please" I tell her turning to carry on with Tom's.

"Mmmm, something smells delicious" Tom said walking into the kitchen. I place the plate of pancakes in front of him and start to tidy up.

"Thanks babe, I hope you have had something as well" Tom says.

"I've had something don't worry and don't mention it handsome" I reply washing up.

"Eat up Mils, Nanny will be here soon" Tom says, placing his plate by the sink and snaking his arms around my waist "That was lovely, thanks babe" he said kissing my neck. I spin in his arms and start to play with his hair.

"Anything for you Dr Kent" I reply, leaning up and kissing him. He pulls away and questions..

"Anything, Dr Nicholls" he says winking at me.

"Behave" I smack him playfully on the bum and then pull him into a passionate kiss.

"I often wonder if you two forget Amelia's around" Tom's mum says walking into the room. We pull apart but stay in each other's arms.

"Of course not, how could we forget little Millie" I say, leaving Tom's grip and taking the empty plate from in front of Millie, while I finish cleaning up Tom explains to his mum that she had another attack and if she has another today to bring her straight into the ED.

"Bye, Millie. Be a good girl for Nanny" I say to her.

"Bye, mummy. I will be she says giving me a hug and then saying goodbye to Tom.

Me and Tom then argue about how we are getting to work, in the end I won and we set off walking to work hand in hand in silence... A nice silence.

On arrival to the ED we were greeted by a very unhappy Zoe as we were rather late, after trying to explain the situation to her she was not having any of claiming we should have called in saying we would be late or that I didn't have to wait around with Tom as he could manage on his own and he had done for long enough without me and that I could have come on time. That last comment was too far and I went storming off to tell Nick, I punched in the code and slammed the door behind me.

"And what can I do for you Sammy?" Nick asks.

"Fire Zoe?" I say with no emotion in my voice.

"What's gone on now?" Nick asks.

"She just basically told me I didn't need to stay with Tom and Amelia this morning after Amelia had an attack, She told me he didn't need my help he had managed without me for long enough" I say and punch a wall.

"Sammy, please calm down I know this must be hard and I know that little Amelia would of wanted you there and Tom would have as well. Why did Zoe start?" Nick says walking over and holds me to stop me from hitting anything else.

"Because we were about 30minutes late" I say trying to get away from him "She also said we could have phoned and told you we were going to be late… yes we could of but would she done the same if a child in her care had suffered an Asthma attack at half 5 in the morning, Somehow I don't think so"

"Sam, it's hard for Zoe to understand these things as she cannot have children and has never looked after young children before so this sort of emotional range is beyond her but I agree there was no need for what she said for a start she is not even in charge around here I am, You stay here and calm down I will get Zoe and Tom in here and we can talk about what happened" Nick said walking out of the office.

I paced up and down it for a while until I eventually decided I would take a seat on his desk, I notice a picture of me, Jack and dad from the airport when jack left for the first time. I look very girly in this picture and my hair is a lot blonder then it is at the moment as it was the end of summer and I spent most of that one outside so the sun had bleached my hair, if you look close enough you could work out it was me but maybe that's just because I know it is others might not be able to tell, I can feel the tears forming in my eyes so I try to stop thinking about that day. One falls silently and I quickly wipe it away as I hear the door open.

"You alright babe?" Tom asks walking over to me he can tell I'm upset.

"Yep, just punched the wall and let's say it hurt a little more than expected" I say letting out a little chuckle.

"Only you" Tom says kissing my hair and taking a place standing next to me.

"Right you three, I hear someone said some things that where a little out of line would you care to explain why Zoe" Nick says taking a seat on the sofa by Zoe.

"They were both half an hour or so late. Sam then tried to tell me it was down to Amelia having an Asthma attack but I don't understand why Sam had to hang around and wait she could have left Tom to sort It out he has managed long enough without her there to help." Zoe said showing no emotion that she cared.

"Zoe you don't understand the relationship that Sam and Amelia have and to be honest with you neither do I. If Sam was to just walk out and leave her what would that make Amelia think, that Sam didn't care about her or Sam is more interested in her job then a little girl who calls her Mummy, we both know that its wrong for Amelia to do so and it is going to be hard to explain when she is older but for now I don't want to hurt my little princess any more she has been through enough in her life so far" Tom say defending all three of them.

"Well maybe you should just tell the girl and be done with it, Sam isn't her mum and no matter how hard she tried she never will be her mum" Zoe says simply.

"I know this fact Zoe but at least I'm trying to get along and look after my partner's child, I don't see you trying" I say with a tear rolling down my face.

"Samantha, it's alright you don't need to defend yourself" Nick interjects.

"How do you know Nick has kids, and for a start I can't do anything as one has been missing for 13 years and well let's just say the chances of me ever meeting him are slim as who knows if he is even still alive…"

"WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAT, HE IS STILL OUT THERE I CAN FEEL IT, I KNOW HE IS" I shout at Zoe. Charging to her and hitting her and shouting abuse at her.


	39. Chapter 39

**_AN - Its 11:30pm and I've just stumbled through the door... MY head is spinning been at the fair all evening but I told my self I couldn't just come home and fall onto my bed with out giving you a chapter so here it is please Enjoy it :)_**

(Tom's POV)

I'm still trying to figure out how this chat had got so violent, Nick is over there trying to remove Sam for Zoe and I feel I should be helping but with all that's been said I'm just trying to work it all out.

Sam told me her Dad was a world class surgeon and that her brother had been missing 13 years after joining the army. Sam also told me she has known Mr Jordan a very long time which is why she can just muck around with him and wind him up without getting into trouble.

Mr Jordan told us that both of his children joined the army one as a successful corporal until he was reported missing and one as a successful doctor. Zoe just told us that one of his children has been missing for 13 years.

It all sounds too familiar; they both have the say story to tell surely that can't be right… Mr Jordan is Sam's dad. Just as I am to this conclusion I was pulled out of my thoughts as Mr Jordan had managed to restrain her.

(End Of POV)

"I want her fired, she just attacked me who knows what else she is capable of" Zoe shouts.

"Sam is going nowhere if you had thought before you opened your mouth this morning and tried to do my job none of this would be happening" Nick said.

"Let me go please, I won't hurt her, I Promise" I say trying to get free.

"I believe you" Nick said and let me go, Zoe just gave Nick the evils. I walked over to the desk where Tom was still stood with a face of disbelief. I smiled at him and carried on with what I was doing. I pick up the photo of me, Jack and dad and take it over to Zoe…

"You mean these kids, and that Boy who so happens to be called Jack, well you take a long hard look at that photo and try to figure out why I went for you cause trust me I would do it again and again if I had to, you have been a right bitch to me since the moment I came back home, Holby… A place where I once felt safe and secure and well now it just seems no matter who I turn too I just get abuse handed to me" I tell Zoe and walk back over into the welcoming arms of Tom.

After about a 10 minute silence Zoe breaks it by saying to Nick.

"You have two very beautiful children I should never of said what I said about Jack one day I wish to have the chance to meet them both, I'm sorry Nick" She says smiling at him.

"Can you not see it Zoe can you really not work out the reason I gave you that photo?" I ask and she simply shakes her head, I go through Nicks draws as I know he has a photo of me and him on the day I left for the army 10 years ago which will look more like me and maybe she will get it then, but the whole time I'm doing this all I can here is Zoe in the background moaning that I should not be doing this. When I find the photo I take it over to Zoe and tell her to compare the two and work out why I gave them to her. I walked back over to Tom and whispered to him…

"Do you know?"

"Yes I've worked it out, but you will have to explain to me why you did it" Tom said kissing my hair and stroking my back for comfort.

Again it took Zoe a while before she spoke but when she did; she did it with so much emotion in her voice.

"Nick, why didn't you tell me" She was so angry with him for not telling her the truth about me. Dad was about to say something but I went and took the photos off her and said…

"It wasn't his fault, I wanted to keep it quiet I wanted to be able to come to work every day and just be able to be me, Samantha Nicholls the ex-army Doc, not Samantha Jordan the Famous surgeon's daughter"

"Nick I'm so sorry if I knew…" Zoe began but Tom cut her off.

"If you knew… you would not have been a bitch to Sam and not made her live a living hell you know she is really down some times after work when you have been on her case questioning her every move. Sam is an emotionally strong person and you can bring her down she tries so hard not to cry at work some days down to what you have said to her and to be honest with you I don't blame her because some of the things she has repeated to me at the end of the day would be enough to make any doctor question their right to be one but let me tell you one thing, never have I ever seen a more confident and brilliant doctor than Sam, she joined the team just over 2 months ago and Amelia was her first patient but considering all the nerves of a new job she just treated Amelia like she had been a doctor at this ED for years, she used her nurses well. She never gives up even when she hits a bump in the road on any patient she just tries her hardest and if it is still isn't good enough she will ask for help. I'm sorry Zoe but I can see why you are jealous of her but thinking she was/has been out of Mr Jordan… Her father was too far" Tom says and the look on Nicks face was one none of us could describe.

"Oh Sam why didn't you tell me that Zoe was mistreating you and emotionally abusing you, we could have sorted this out earlier" Nick says, I leave Tom's arms and walk over to Nicks.

"Because you love Zoe and I didn't want to ruin it for you, I should have said something before but well I couldn't bear the felling that I might lose Tom down to lying about everything but like you told me 'if Tom truly loves you he would not leave you for just wanting to be your own person'" I say looking over at Tom.

"Sam, by what Tom just said before, I don't think it matters if you lied about being the an ex-con he would still love you as he loves you for you and whatever you past is I'm just glad that it has come out from the dark so that now I can tell him 'if you ever hurt my little princess just remember that I can and will make your life a living hell'" Nick says.

"I don't doubt you on that one Mr Jordan but believe when I say I will never hurt Sam and even if I do it will never be intentional as I have never loved someone more so I apologise in advance if I ever hurt you in any Sam as I love you with all my heart" Tom says.

"Sam, believe me when I say Tom's a keeper not once did, Dylan ever say anything like that to you… Sam I'm so sorry I just realised what I said" Nick adds on worried that he has just blown it for me.

"Don't worry Daddy, Tom knows I told him last night and he's alright with it. At least now he understands why I don't want to rush things" I tell him with a smile.

"Nick I still don't understand why you lied to me about Sam" Zoe says still confused and angry.

"Like Sam said before it was not my choice but hers and I still don't understand what difference it makes whether she is or isn't there is no need to make her feel unwanted, I remember the day you joined this ED and the staff back then where not very nice to you and you came straight to me but unlike you my daughter is a very proud young lady and she likes to tackle things head on but sometimes things become a little too much for her and she breaks down and Zoe if I ever catch her broken down from the abuse you give her, trust me it will be the last thing you do in this ED as Bullying is not permitted" Nick explains and then becomes very stern on the last few words.

"But it alright for her to come at me and scratch my arm until it bled…" Zoe tries to defend herself.

"Under the circumstances I would say, yes it is. You have been bullying her since she started and then today you told her that she should have walked out on her boyfriends and his child so she could get to work on time and then just before you told her, her brother is most likely dead and I know she did not need to attack you but Sam gets very angry and her only way out is to hit someone or something and just be glad that's all she did was scratch you as you see that dent in wall just there well let's just say she punched that before you came in" Nick explains.

"So you are just going to let her get away with being physically violent towards me?" Zoe asks.

"Zoe you have been mentally abusing her which in my mind is worse as you can't see what damage you cause so I'm going to let her off this time but only due to the fact that if you had never tried to be clever and do my job this morning none of this would have ever happened." Nick tells her.

Zoe just gets up and storms out of the office and I give my dad a hug and then walk over to Tom and take his hand.

"Thanks Daddy. Me and Tom should go get ready for work now"

"No problem, I should make you do over time now though as that's an hour or so wasted" Nick says.

"Well how about instead of over time you come out for Dinner with Tom and Amelia, my treat?" I ask him.

"Sounds like a plan, by the way Charlie was asking for you before something about Louis but I wasn't really listening, don't tell him I said that or he'll have my head" I just nodded laugh and then headed for the staff room with Tom.


	40. Chapter 40

**_AN - I've just popped home for a quick bite to eat and thought I should post this other wise it will be a late one again and i want to thank Abbey and Sarah for there reviews about this being one of the best fanfic's I loved here that, thank you to everyone else you reviews as well they are all very much appreciated :) enjoy xx_**

The shift was going slowly today as it was not very busy mainly people that where overreacting which caused a lot on tension between staff and patients as we had to try and tell them that they would be fine and that they were just overreacting but in the nicest possible way which is never easy by the time lunch had arrived I had never been so happy just to be able to go a sit in the staff room for an how with a cup of coffee and a bit of lunch time TV. I put on 'Let's do lunch with Gino and Mel' which hands down has to be the best TV show that is on during the day I often try to recreate some of Gino's dishes but it is never as nice as his.

"Hey, do you mind if I come in" Zoe said poking her head around the corner.

I just gestured to come in and carried on watching the show.

"Sam, I'm sorry you do know that right" Zoe said coming over with a fresh cup of coffee for herself. Again I just nodded.

"What will it take for me to make it up to you?" she asked.

"Zoe, no offence here or anything but do me a favour a just stay out of my life, I will try and be civil with you for my dad's sake as he has not been this happy for years and it nice to see him smiling again but whatever your reason is for even starting on me in the first place I don't want to know it and I don't want you to just think you can change all this with a click of a button. As my dad said what difference does it make whether I'm his daughter or not there was and is no need to pick on me" I say getting up and placing my cup in the sink and walking off. I still have half an hour left of my lunch so I decide to go a sit outside in the peace garden.

A place I like to come and think of many things, solutions to a tricky patient, how to tell the love ones that even though we try our hardest it sometimes just isn't good enough, what Zoe had said that day, Jack… I think about him lots here sometimes I even feel as if I am with him and I can hear what he would be saying and at this very moment I think he would proud of me for coming out and telling Tom about my scars, about Dylan and about Dad. Nothing ever made Jack more proud then when I told the truth.

After sitting out here alone for a good 15 minutes none other than Charlie walked over and came to sit with me.

"Thanks Sam" Charlie said.

"For what?" I question him.

"Getting Louis to phone me" Charlie said half hugging me.

"Dad did say you wanted to talk to me about Louis but I completed forgot, Sorry Charlie todays been one hell of a day already and its only lunch time. I pleased he phoned you though, I didn't think he would" I say feeling bad that I had forgotten.

"Well so am I he told me he would phone every weekend if possible and how so?" Charlie adds.

"Well let's just say I'm surprised news doesn't travel quick around here but then again only too people found out and I know that Tom wouldn't tell anyone and Zoe well I haven't seen her since this morning actually" I say letting out a giggle.

"What do they know exactly?" Charlie asks as Tom walks up to us. He gives me a kiss and then says…

"Hey Babe your dads looking for you"

"That's what they know." I say looking at Charlie "What does he want me for? I've only got 5 or so minutes left"

"He didn't say. I'm off to go find Dylan as he is on his lunch now as well, catch you later" Tom says giving me a hug. I pull his head down and give him a kiss.

"Thank you Tom, It means the world to me that you are still here after all I told you" I tell him not letting go.

"I Love you Sam, that's all that matters" Tom says giving me on last kiss and walking off.

"I Love you too" I call to him and just turns and smiles.

"I guess you told him about Dylan too?" Charlie asks.

"Yep and these" I tell him rolling up my sleeves.

"Are you not hot wearing long sleeves as well in this heat" Charlie questions.

"Very but what about everyone else in the ED on you, Dad, Tom and Dylan know" I tell him worried.

"It does not matter what they think, they are tiger stripes and you earned them" Charlie says standing up and leaving.

I had been sat here for another 10 minutes without realising just thinking about what Charlie said he was right you know they are my Tiger stripes and I have earned them as through all the suffering I have been though I can look back on them and just be able to say I was once in a dark place but the stripes show that I am now out of that area. I proud to have them they show my willingness to carry on with life and yer well who cares what others think, it's not that fact that on both my wrists there are hundreds of tiny little neat lines but the story that come with each one!

I get up and go into the staff room, I take off my scrub top and then my long sleeve top im about to place my scrub top back on when I take my long sleeves top back out of my locker to put back on but I stop when someone says…

"Come on Sam the longer you hide them the harder it will be, none of us will even notice if anyone is to notice it will be the patients and their first thoughts will be them of bravery, courage and triumph because this beautiful young doctor has a past that no one wants to have yet though all of it she has survived and overcome a horrible period in her life and made it as a doctor. The best one yet even better than her father" Charlie says walking up to me and hugging me.

It was only when Zoe walked into the staff we noticed how strange this looked to anyone who didn't know as I was just standing there in my bra hugging Charlie. I quickly just put back on my scrub top and made some excuse that I had walked into something and that my side really hurt so Charlie was checking me over. Zoe just looked at us and didn't say anything. I quickly hurried off back to work but yet again it was quiet, no patients. This didn't help much as I would sit there and thing about my arms all the time. To tell you the truth the scars are quite faded now and maybe it just because I knew what they looked like before that I think everyone will see them in that way. It wasn't long before I was dragged out of my trail of thought when a young lad about 21 came running into the ED all shock up because some how he had managed to superglue his fingers together. We can't do anything for him here he needs to go get some superglue remover which are not allowed to put on people as it can irritate the skin but it isn't likely too so after a good half an hour auguring with this young lad he eventually left decided on the superglue remover be the best course of action.

The shift was over not long after that and it was 5:30 me and Tom had both worked a 10 hour shift, Tom was in the staff room on the phone to his mum asking her to drop Amelia into the ED and I went off to go see my dad after remembering Tom said he wanted to talk to me, it turned out he just wanted to know the plans for tonight we had decided on a pup dinner from the pub just outside the ED and once Tom mum was here with Amelia we set off we asked if she wanted to join but she told us not tonight maybe another time, she had put Toms and my mind at risk saying Amelia was fine today and it was as if the attack never happened.


	41. Chapter 41

_**AN - I hope you enjoyed the last chapter it made me cry writing bits of it as the art about the self harm was what I went through my self and I found it very hard to just show my self to the rest of the world afterwards but I have got over that now and I promised my self I would never cut again. - Enough about me, please enjoy this one :) **_

We had been in the pub for about 15 minutes now and we had our drinks and ordered dinner. Both Dad and Tom where having a steak and kidney pie with mash, both having a beer with it, I was having scampi and chips with peas, with a class of apple juice and Amelia was having a small portion of sausage and chips with apple juice as well.

We were all sat down and having a good old chat about everything and just getting Amelia used to being in Nicks company as he may watch her for us if we ever go out and Toms mum is unavailable to do so. This wasn't hard as Nick kept telling her jokes and she was loving it.

"Sam, Mr Jordan I have a little something to show you" Tom said bending down to his back and getting something out of it. I was very confused on what it could be and it got a bit more confusing when he pulled out an envelope.

"This envelope contains a very important document which I may add has been signed" Tom says passing it over to me. I slowly open it realising what it is.

"Dylan told me he signed it months ago but did not want to give it to you as he knew it meant losing you but he also mentioned that he did not want to hold you back any longer as he could see how happy you are with me and Amelia and he added before he handed them over that as long as that smile is still on your face he will be happy for you as he cannot bare to see you without it" Tom said. Tears just fall down my face.

"Thank you so much Tom, This means everything to me. Before we go to Amelia's School tomorrow I will take this to the office and have them declare it" I say trying to stop the tears.

"Hey, it's alright Sam, I know you will always have a spot in your heart for Dylan as he helped you through so much" I tell her rubbing her leg for support.

"Now Sam that is what I all a real, gentleman, No matter what has happened he still loves you and understands you" Nick adds.

"Well Mr Jordan, it's not about the past or what's in it, it is about the future and what we have here and now all that matters in the past is that you are able to understand you mistakes and learn from them. Right now is where we are and that's why we should just take every day as it comes. I have learnt a lot from my past but just being here with Sam is what matters now, the past is the past and that's how it should stay" Tom says and gives me a kiss on the cheek.

"Quite right Tom, now please would you call my Nick I am only Mr Jordan at work" Dad says.

A waiter then comes over "Two steak and kidney pies" he asks and Tom and Nick answer him.

"Sausage and chips" He then asks and we point to Amelia.

"So this mean the scampi must be yours" He says to me as he placing in in front.

"Enjoy your meal" He says we thank him and he goes off.

While we are eating Nick is asking Amelia loads of questions about her starting nursery and her dance class and how he knows Lauren and many things like that and me and Tom can't help but smile at her as she answers him.

The conversation then turns to our weekend away and we all start telling nick about how amazing it was. He asks if we got him anything but I told him he would have to wait until Wednesday because I left it at home and me and Tom are on the night shift tomorrow so we would be unable to give it to him then.

It was no 7:30 and Amelia was getting tired we could see that she needed to go to bed, in fact we all did after waking up at 5:30 so we got ready to leave as we knew it would take at least 30 minutes to walk back to Toms.

"I can give you guys a lift home if you want there's enough room in the car" Nick says.

"Thanks but no thanks Dad as we haven't got a car seat for Amelia" I say.

"What about if you just come and stay at mine tonight, it's only a 20 minute walk from here and ill carry Amelia" Nick offers.

"There's not enough room at home though" I say a bit confused.

"you have you room which is big enough for you three and we have the blow up mattress which I can set up for Amelia in your room, What do you say Tom" Nick says trying to get on Toms side.

"I don't see why not it would be nice to see your house Sam" Tom says and picks up Amelia. "Why don't you go off ahead Nick and set up the bed as I have a feeling she is going to be asleep by the time we get to yours.

"As long as you're sure" Nick says giving the waiter a tip.

"Positive" Tom replies holding Amelia and walking out.

We start to walk back to mine in peace it is nice because you could hear the birds tweeting away as the sun was setting it did take long to get back to mine which to be honest with you is nice as I was feeling very tired and just wanted to sleep. When we got there I just opened the front door and walked in, I told tom to go upstairs with Amelia and that it is the first door on the left.

I'm in the kitchen making us all some a cup of tea and getting out some biscuits so we can just go and chill out in the other room watch some TV and have a hat as it seems to be what us three do the best. While I wait for the kettle to boil the phone starts to ring so I walk over and answer it wondering who would be phoning him at around 8 in the evening….

"Nick I'm so sorry for the way I treated Sam I know it was wrong I can't bare this I need to talk to you I miss being in your company. I should of knew that Sam was not trying to take you away from me but the way you to acted together was just so strange as well from all we knew was that she had just started a job yet she was already all friendly and joking around with you not scared of her new boss like she should have been" Zoe said.

"You abused me because I was confident in a new job… Wow Zoe that is the lowest excuse I have ever heard, you know what Zoe I do want to be friends with you but I just don't think I can, sorry" I say.

"Where's Nick"

"He's upstairs sorting out my room with Tom so that there is room for Amelia to sleep as well" I tell her.

"I forgot you lived with Nick, tell him I phoned"

"If I remember" I say as I hang up the phone and walk back over to the kettle which has just boiled and pour the water into the cups.

"She is sound asleep which is surprising as I woke her to give her, her inhaler" Tom said walking into the kitchen followed by Tom.

I smile at Tom and pass them their Tea and we walk into the other room and sit down chatting about lots of things until the conversation turns to me when I was younger and Dad pulls out loads of old photo albums full to the brim with photos of me and Jack and it was just to embarrassing siting there and watching Dad show him all these cringe worthy photos of me. After about an hour's worth of photos and stories to go with them I had. had enough and told them I was off to bed, I Kissed dad on the cheek and tried to do the same with Tom but like the big kid he is he moved so our lips met and wee strayed locked together for a while until I pulled away and started to blush so I said good night and went off upstairs to my room where I got changed and climbed into bed where I fall straight to sleep.


	42. Chapter 42

_**AN - This chapter turned at a bit longer then expected but I hope you enjoy it all the same :)**_

(Nicks POV)

Last night was amazing just to be able to spend time with Sam again and not have to hide from the rest of the world. After Dylan I didn't think I would actually see Sam genuinely happy again but Tom has changed her she is a different person completely. She is more confident with her body I have notice by what she wears around him which I'm really happy for her as I never imaged it to happen or well not this quickly anyway. She is also become a bit more of a girly girl, don't get me wrong I loved her when she was a tomboy but when I can see her go out all dressed up its amazing. The one event you would image her to be all dressed up and wearing to go would be your high school prom but well let's just say that didn't go as well as I had hoped. We had gone dress shopping and there was loads of amazing floor length dresses that made her look like the princess see was and even the lady in the shop agreed with me that she should get one but well she decided on getting a pale pink dress which was short and figure hugging at the top and then when it hit the waist it flowed out and she wore it with a pair converses which where pale pink sequined high tops. She stilled looked amazing and she deserved to win prom queen for her entrance, I had got Dixie and Jeff to drive one of the ambulances with her lying in the back on the stretcher and on arrival to the prom Jeff jumped out of the back of them ambulance and then followed by Dixie and they took the stretcher over to the red carpet where they looked down at here and started to pretend to do CPR on here when Sam then jumped up off of the stretcher and walked down the red carpet by herself but by god she looked amazing and she did it with so much attitude as she could not go with Dylan as he was not a student so she was going to meet her friends.

A couple of months later at the wedding she diced she was going to have a pale pink theme again she wore a Pale pink floor length figure hugging dress with a slit up the side, with the same converses. She had Dylan where a Grey suit with a pale pink Tie and again converses they wore grey ones and the same for the best man and the ring bearer which was Dylan's nephew. The maid of honour and bride maids all had to wear a short white strapless dress that flowed with a pale pink sash with a pair of pale pink converses. I know this time if she does get married to Tom that she will look more beautiful and radiant then ever!

"Morning Sammy, sleep well" I ask.

"Morning Daddy, Yes I did, you?" Sam replies.

"Wonderfully, why are you up already? I didn't think you had to be at the school until 10?" I say.

"I'm going to go take the papers round to the office the sooner there in the better" Sam tells me with a smile.

"Yes I remember you said now" I tell her walking in to the other room.

"Can you tell Tom, if I'm not back before he gets up where I am" Sam asks, she reaches down and grabs my cup and finishes the coffee that was in in.

"Sure thing, you know you could have just asked I would have made you one…"

"I could of but that would have meant I would have to wait around for it so yours was a better option" Sam says opening the front door "Bye Daddy, Thanks" Sam says as she closes the door.

I went off to boil the kettle to make a new cup of coffee, while the kettle was boiling I went upstairs to see if Tom was up and wanted one but instead I found Amelia up and playing with some of Sam's old Teddies and Uno

"Morning Millie, want to come downstairs. I'll get you some breakfast" I say.

"Is Mummy downstairs?" Amelia asked.

"No she has just gone out for a run, you can come downstairs and watch some cartoons I may even have some toys down there you can play with" I tell her.

"What about Daddy?" Amelia then asked.

"He will know where you are don't worry, why don't you bring down that bear you got and I'll tell you his name" I say. Amelia nods and picks up Uno and Sam's old teddy. I watch Amelia closely as she goes down the stairs and I follow. She walks into the living room and places both Uno and Sam's bear on the sofa and starts to look around the living room I stand in the door way watching her before I go in.

"How does egg and soldiers sound" I ask.

"For breakfast, I normally have it for lunch" Amelia said.

"Yes it doesn't mean you can't have them for breakfast" I chuckle as I tell her.

"Okay" She says giggling and turned back to talking to the teddies.

I go back into the kitchen and re-boil the kettle for the 3rd time this morning hopefully I will get the Coffee this time and put the eggs to boil in the pan, I look in on Amelia who seems to be enjoying herself. I walk in a turn on the TV to Disney Joiner for Amelia to watch or just as background noise. I walk out into the hall and have a look in the cupboard under the stairs as I am sure I saw a bag of Sam's toys in there the other day when I was tidying up. I come across the bag and have a look inside it was a tea set and some other bears she used to use for a picnic. I pick up the bag.

I place it on the floor in the kitchen and check the eggs they seem near enough ready so I place some toast in the toaster I also make myself a coffee it was Luke-warm but it is better than nothing I take some sips and place it on the side walking into the living room where I see Amelia sat on the sofa cuddling the too cuddly toys.

"Look what I found" I tell her taking out some of the toys a tea set "maybe the teddies can have breakfast with us" I tell Amelia and she jumps up off of the sofa and walks over to help set up.

"I'm going to go finish breakfast, what do you want to drink" I ask her.

"Pineapple Juice, Please" Amelia says.

"Sorry sweetie but I only have, Summer Fruits, Orange or Apple Juice" I tell her, she looks a little sad but settles on summer fruits. I go into the kitchen and leave her setting up for the breakfast. I butter and cut up the toast and put the eggs in the egg up and crack them open. I pour out the 3rd cup of coffee and decide I will just have some juice as well so I take out the orange juice and the summer fruits I take out a cup for me and notice the old Disney cups that Sam and Jack used to us with straws attached to them and I pull out of the less favourites of theirs and pour her a cup. I pick up the tray and take it into the other room where she has finished setting up the picnic.

"Here you go Millie" I say passing her, her plate and cup.

"Thanks Nick, its yummy" Amelia says to me and then turns to the bears "Here Uno have some drink" She holds the cup to him and pretends he is having a drink "What about you, do you want some."

"That was Sam's version of Uno, She has had him since she was born, the day she was born me and Sam's brother sat in the café and gift shop, her brother was 6 at the time and we were drinking hot chocolate and he turned and noticed that bear he was much nicer all those years ago he was fluffy and Jack wanted to get him for Sam, when I took Jack up to Visit her he placed the bear in her cot and told her his name was Coco" I told Amelia taking a bite of my toast.

"He still is Fluffy. So Coco would you like some then" Amelia said.

We sat here for a good 30 minutes eating breakfast, having a chat about most things and just pretending the bears where alive and having the breakfast too. I was now 8:30 Sam had been gone 45 minutes and should be back soon as it would take 20 minutes to get there and 20 minutes to get back so just the time in the middle to fill. I am going to be late for work as I was meant to start at 8:30 but I knew this was likely and I don't mind I am having too much fun playing with Amelia to care, It is just like being back in the old days and playing with Sam.

"Would you like some more wine Miss Kent" I ask her holding the cartoon of summer fruits and putting on a posh voice.

"Yes please" Amelia answered.

"Well Nick I hope you are not giving my daughter alcohol" Tom says standing in the doorway.

"No daddy it's only Juice" Amelia said giggling.

"Then that's alright" tom mentioned heading into the kitchen, I get up telling Amelia I won't be long.

"Tom do you want some breakfast?" I ask.

"I don't want to be a pain, a cup of coffee will be fine" Tom says boiling the kettle.

"As long as you are sure, if you would like anything just help yourself." I tell him. And head off back to Amelia.

"Nick, where's Sam" Tom calls after me.

"Gone to take the papers in, she won't be long" I call back.

I walk in and notice Amelia looks like she is going to cry.

"Hey what's wrong sweetie?" I ask her. She points to the floor.

"Sorry" She says in-between tears.

"Don't cry it's alright, I can clean it did you get any on Uno" I ask picking her up and wiping her tears.

"No but it got Coco's foot, mummy is going to be mad" She says starting to cry again.

"Hey, calm down, she used to spill juice on him all the time it doesn't matter, she won't be upset" I tell her stroking her back and rocking her slightly.

"Tom can you bring in some kitchen Towel" I call over to him.

"Here, what's happened?" Tom asks walking in.

"She split her juice but she is more upset that some went on Sam's old teddy" I explain to him. Tom bends down and wipes up the juice for me.

"Thanks, I explained that Sam wouldn't be mad at her but she is still a little upset" I tell him.

We hear the front door open a close and then Sam shout she's back.

"Morning Babe" Sam said walking in and giving Tom a kiss on the cheek.

"What happened to Amelia?" She asks.

"We were having a teddy bears picnic and she spilt her juice and it splashed on Coco's foot, Amelia is worried you are going to be angry at her" I explained.

"Oh Millie, I would never been angry with you, you didn't mean to do it, I used to spill stuff on him all the time, I just happy he got some cuddles again and I'm sure he is too" Sam explains.

After 15 minutes we have calmed her down and I said my goodbyes leaving them to get ready to head off to the school for Amelia induction and I head off to work.

(End Of POV)


	43. Chapter 43

_**AN - Had a very busy day today been down to the job center and to social to try and find a job but still no luck, spent most of my day in town which resulted in me getting very wet as it rained all day, wasn't **_**_impressed. Anyway here's your chapter just posted very late 11:35pm where I am and I need to be up early tomorrow... whoops - Enjoy :)_**

I went upstairs with Amelia and got her changed and got myself changed, I put Amelia in a lovely little 2 in 1 summer dress that I collected for her on the way back to here it has a white top half with a matching cupcake on and the skirt part is a bright orange colour which is designed a bit like a tutu it had a matching orange bow tied to one of the straps. It was quite warm today so she should be cool. I go and have a look at what there is and I chose a 2 in 1 dress as well mine was a Denim tie front top and a lace print skirt, I used to wear this dress all the time when I was a Teen, I thought I would try it and it fits so I decide on it I used to wear it with denim style converses, not sure if I still have them so I rummage around in my wardrobe and find them all tatted and worn but that's the way I like them.

"Mummy can I have my hair like you do when you go to work?" Amelia walked in asking

"Sure babe, can you give me 2 minutes to just do mine first?" I reply.

"Okay" Amelia walks over to my bed and sits down crossed legged. "Who room is that other one in there?" She asks.

"My brother, Jack" I tell Amelia brushing my hair, leaving it down but braiding my fringe and clipping it to the side.

"Will I meet Jack one day?" Amelia asks. I walk over to her and ask her to turn around and kneel on the bed.

"Maybe one day, he is out fighting with the soldiers you see on TV" I tell here while I French braid her hair and I let a little smile sneak onto my face thinking about Jack.

"Is he brave" Amelia asked.

"Very" I smile and then pull on her hair a little. "Your done lets go downstairs and get ready to go" I tell her.

We set off down stairs and Amelia ran straight to find Tom to show him her hair. I put on my shoes sitting on the bottom of the stairs.

"Babe you ready to go?" Tom comes out and asks.

"I'm ready but unless you want Amelia to go without any shoes I would say we are not quite ready to go yet." I giggle picking up Amelia and placing her on my lap.

Tom picks up her converses she had on yesterday, lucky they are white I guess as I didn't even think to pick her up any different shoes. Once she had them on I pick up my bag which has my keys, phone, purse, Amelia's inhaler and the paper work. Tom takes Amelia's hand and I lock up the house and we set off on the short walk to the school.

10 minutes later we had arrived at the school, we walked through the car park where I noticed Lauren and Dean. It makes sense that she would be here as she is one of the nursery Teachers, she has always wanted to be one and when she qualified she could not have been happier, I did Childcare with her at school but I can't say I enjoyed it all that much but you know she loved every moment.

"Bones, what are you doing here?" Dean turned and asked. I used to get called Bones all the time as I was just a bag of bones when I was younger. Even before I came Ill I have always been petite.

"I could ask you the same thing, Lauren works here but you?" I walk up towards them Tom and Amelia had not noticed and carried on.

"Touché, I'm dropping Lauren off after our 22 week scan" Dean smiles and shows me a scan photo.

"That baby is going to be one hell of a looker" I say passing back the photo both Lauren and Dean chuckle "I'm here for my little Princesses induction, Lauren you're in the nursery aren't you?"

"What little princess? And ye s I am the main nursery teacher" Lauren says.

"Millie!" I called her. She turned around and then came skipping back to me with Tom close behind.

"This little Princess she is my baby aren't you." I smile Picking up Amelia. She nodded and smiled shyly.

"Don't act all shy we know you aren't" Tom said. We chatted for a little longer then Dean had to leave for work and Lauren had to go set up the nursery and well we had to wait in line.

Amelia is full of questions while we are standing in line waiting to sign the forms. Once we have signed the forms we are asked to wait in the hall until half past when the teachers will come and great us and show us around the nursery room, have a coffee and let the children meet each other.

At 10:30 Lauren walked in with two other nursery offices and introduced herself and them.

"Good morning everyone, I'm Miss Murphy, to my right is Mrs Hall and to my left is Miss Andrews. We are the tree Nursery Offices and we each take a key group of children which is split in no order just down the register. Each group has a name, I'm the giraffe's, Mrs Hall is the Zebras and Miss Andrews is the Lions. I will call you name and group and I would like you to make a little area in the groups where we will each have a chat bout further information and answer any questions you may have this is also a good opportunity to let your children mingle and get to know each other.

After going through the list and splitting up into the groups we happened to find our self's standing in Laurens group… what are the odds, she is my best friend and the group just happens to be Amelia's favourite animal.

There is 11 children in the Giraffe group; Amelia, Ben, Clark, Emily, Harry, Jessica, Kelly, Mitchell, Madison, Sienna and Zac. Madison and Sienna are twins. We left them go off and enjoy themselves while us parent sat around a table drinking Coffee and having a generalized chat about the nursery.

"What going to happen when you go on maternity leave?" Asked one of the parents.

"I will be here near enough until the Christmas break which is when I should have the baby and will take 2 months off afterwards so I will return towards the end of February in the mean time for the month and a bit I'm not there the Children will have a supply teacher which we will find out who it is closer to the time and whenever they have a free morning or afternoon they will be in the Nursery so the children can get used to them." Lauren explains.

"If for whatever reason I can't pick up my child what is the procedure to inform you with?" One of the dads asks.

"You wouldn't think so but this happens a lot and also a lot of the time the parents don't tell us so we are left with the uneasy task of trying to get a hold of you so that you can confirm that this person is who they say they are. If you know you will not be able to pick up the child you need to phone in advance and tell us who will be picking them up and that they need to have photographic ID on them so that we can make sure they are who they say they are. Sometimes things happen that we cannot predict and you might not be able to collect your child but if this is the case we can work around it and sort out any problems." Lauren explains.

"Is it possible for my child to have one day a week where he only does half a day?" A young mother asks.

"Well this Nursery is a school nursery so the hours are the same of that as a school 8:30 until 3. We do how ever have some children every year who do not always do full time. Most parents prefer their children to be with us full time but this is down to the fact of them having to work long hours." Lauren tells her.

"Its 12 and the children have been playing with each other for at least 45 minutes it's time to regroup and just have a general meeting with the other groups as well before we go just so that you can get to know each other a bit better and so that we can get to know you." Lauren explains as well walk back to the hall were we are greeted by the other two groups.

Amelia is running around with the twins she seems to be having a lot of fun which is great.

"Tom" I call him over.

"Yes Babe"

"Your mum is picking Amelia up right?" I ask.

"Yes she said she will be waiting for us in the car park from 12:15, she is going to take Mils home and drop us off at the ED Stop worrying" Tom says grabbing my hand and pulling me close.

Another 15 minutes had passed and it did not look like this was going anywhere and our shift started at 1 so I went off to get Amelia while Tom when to explain to Lauren that we had to leave. I pick up Amelia and carry her over to Tom and Lauren.

"Bye Lauren thanks for this morning" I say.

"Not a problem, Bye Sam. Bye Amelia" Lauren says.

"Bye Miss Matthews" Amelia replies in a shy voice.

"Cya" Tom calls back to her as walk off towards the car park where we are met by Tom's mum. Tom climbs into the front and I strap Amelia into her car seat and then walk around and get into the other side of the car. We arrive at the ED with 10 minutes to spare as we are walking in I notice Dylan sat over in the peace garden so I tell Tom to go in and get ready I will be in, in a minute, I walk over to Dylan and sit down next to him.


	44. Chapter 44

**_An - so sorry for all the late updates I don't think I will be as busy tomorrow as I have been but we will have to wait for the day to plan out as anything could happen - Enjoy_**

"Dylan, I just want to say thank you. I know how hard this must have been for you" I tell him.

"You can't understand, how hard it was down to the fact that you don't love me anymore, I still love you Sam and I miss your comforting ways, I'm sorry for being a twat to you and I'm sorry I turned to alcohol. I just could not handle you being away for so long" Dylan says standing up.

"Dylan I know it was my fault I should never of left to go, but I needed too I needed to find him. There will always be a space in my heart for you Dylan you know why I fall for you because you where protective of me you were kind and funny… you were like Jack and I loved being able to have a 'big brother' again" I tell him.

"You should never have left then who knows where we would be right now well I would still be me but since the drinking I could not find myself again. Going out there got you know where Sam you never found him just like I told you and you had an affair and yet you stand here and tell me you love me, it just doesn't add up." Dylan said walking off.

"You know Dylan I have to work with you whether you like it or not so just please try and be civil" I call to him. Dylan turns around and says…

"That's because what Sam wants Sam gets all she has to do is go and ask her precious Daddy, do they know yet? The ED that your real name is Dr Samantha Keogh? Oh wait it's not now as I guess the first thing you did was take those papers in so you are Dr Samantha Jordan, yes that's right do they know" Dylan asks walking back over.

"Well Tom and Zoe know about Nick I told them yesterday so I am expecting others to know now and Tom well he's the only one that knows about us." I tell him.

"I see you wear long sleeves all the time, you are ashamed Sam and you shouldn't be you overcome that stage of your life and you just need to let people see, it's not what's on the outside but what's on the inside" Dylan says.

"If they saw all thy would thing would be that I'm a mental nut case and can't look after myself I don't want them to judge me or to treat me differently that was all in the pass and a long time ago at that you know I have not done it since Dylan a hole 10 years without one cut its been so hard as there has been many time I would of liked to have done it but I haven't you know what I do instead… Skip meals every now and again, it helps a lot but with a Dad like mine it's hard to do such a thing and Tom he knows all about that so even if it's just a piece of fruit or whatever he makes sure I eat something but you know what he's right I need to keep it together now for Amelia's sake, She loves me with every inch of her tiny body yet she has been through so much already. I was thinking about adopting her but then again I can't be sure if I will stay with Tom. I wish to be with them forever but you know what life is like." I Say letting out a little sigh.

"Sam, I Believe in you and no matter what you are not a nut case you are a brave, strong, beautiful lady who has fulfilled her dreams but even though you hit bumps in the road you still carried on Sam, you never gave up and you never will. Is that why you wanted the forms? So you can move on and adopt her?" Dylan asked.

"Thank you Dylan, it nice to hear that. Partly it was but it was also because even though we were separated I still felt guilty when with Tom. Tom doesn't know I have plans to adopt her so don't mention it to him please" I tell him. "I'm not sure about you but I need to get into the ED as I'm about 15 minutes late now. Just hope Zoe doesn't notice" I say walking over to Dylan and giving him a hug.

"Why, does she give you grief?" Dylan asked after breaking the hug. I just simply nodded and walked off into the ED. Luckily unnoticed by Zoe so I managed to get changed and get to work quickly but as it's a Tuesday afternoon I don't expect we will get many Cases.

"Anything for me Charlie" I ask him walking up to the nurses' station.

"Not at the moment Sam, only case is with Tom in cubicles, young girl with suspected broken wrist" Charlie says hinting foe me to go and join him.

"Thanks" I say walking off to cubicles.

"Sam you're not wearing long sleeves" Charlie calls over to me. I just turn flash him a smile and shrug my shoulders.

"Hey Dr Kent, need a hand?" I ask standing were the curtains would be drawn.

"Hey Sam, you could case up Emily's x-rays for me" Tom Says.

"Sure thing, I go down now" I say Smile and waving to see if he notices that I haven't got long sleeves on underneath. I walk down to radiology to see if they have the results, I need to wait until someone becomes free as it is very backed up here due to other wards sending them down and the fact that Tuesday morning is the normal time for out patients to have an x-ray if required. I see someone and they rush off to get the results and hand them over to me in a brown envelope and I walk back to the ED and go and find Tom showing him the results that she has broken her wrist. Tom thanks me and then strokes my arm to tell me that he has noticed and he goes off to find a nurse to plaster Emily's wrist.

The rest of the shift was just as quite with only a few more broken bones, minor burns and time wasters but on a shift like todays you don't think twice before treating a kid with an ear infection as it just gives you something other to do than catching up on paper work which no one ever wants to do it was 7 and we had only worked for about 2 hours of our 6 hour shift as there was no cases the rest of the time we just stood around chatting and gossiping and not once did anyone mention my scars whether they notices or not. Back in the staff room me and Tom where getting changed and ready to go and collect Amelia from his mums and then head off home for something to eat we had decided on Indian as Amelia has already eaten.

"Babe I'm proud of you, you came out today and just carried on like normal" Tom said walking over and hugging me.

"it felt good to just be able to be me" I say. And start to relax into his grip but it doesn't last long as he starts to tickle me and I wriggle out of his grip and run over to the breakfast bar and hind behind it so that he can't get me, we are mucking around so much that when I decided to make a dash for it over to the sofa I ran into Tess as she opened the door. The look on her face she was so shocked all she had done was open the door and then I was straight in her face. Tom just stood in the corner and started to laugh.

"I'm so sorry Tess, I didn't mean for it to happen" I say.

"It's alright, just a bit of a shock I didn't expect to be greeted like that" Tess said giggling herself "Although if I happen again I might just have to report you two to Mr Jordan." Tess says trying to sound professional.

"Which two" Nick says as he walks in.

"Me and Tom" I say giggling and jumping onto Tom so that he is holding me.

"What have you done now?" Nick says in a stern but jokey voice.

"Nothing Daddy I swear" I tell him trying to pull a very innocent face.  
"They were mucking about and Sam ran straight into me, I could have been anyone or been carrying anything… Wait did she say 'Daddy'" Tess Said.

"I see, Well Sam you do need to be more careful and yes she did" Nick said.

"Well it was Tom as well from what it looked like he was winding her up" Tess said.

"Sam I was coming to see you, are you going back to Toms tonight or are you staying at home? As if you are coming back to home I can give you lift as it is raining" Nick says.

"Really, I was going to stay at Toms tonight as we have tomorrow off to spend Time with Amelia before she starts nursery. We need to go to Tom's mum's to pick her up you wouldn't mind dropping us there would you, I'm sure your mum would be happy to take us home" I say Tom nods his head as if to say she wouldn't mind.

"Sure thing Sammy, well I'm leaving in about 5 minutes meet me at the reception" Nick says walking off.

"So Mr Jordan's your dad? Since when" Tess asked.

"Since I was born… I thought you of all people would have known that" I said to Tess.

"All right don't get cheeky with me young lady" Tess says.

Me and Tom gather our stuff up that seems to be scatted all over the staffroom and say our goodbyes to Tess and go to meet Nick so he can take us up to Tom's Mums.


	45. Chapter 45

**_AN - I notice I made a mistake in Chapter 44 when I called her teacher Miss Murphy, It was meant to be Miss Matthews, Lauren who is Amelia's teacher and Sam's bestfriend - Enjoy this update as im deciding whether to go swimming down at the beach as it is 30'c here._**

Somehow it was September already the summer has just flown by with me and Tom busy working and Tom's mum and nick both spending equal time with Amelia, taking her out on trips to the beach or woods, spending time down at the fair with her and many other places Nick had signed her up for a reading challenge through the summer she had to read 6 books (with Nicks help) and then report back to the library and tell the lady what the book was about and so on Nick told us that the librarian would come to the school and award all the children that completed the challenge with a medal and a certificate. Me and Tom would takes days off to spend with her although it was very hard for both of us to have the same day off so we started to do the night shift more often than not just so we could spend the day with Amelia. A few times in the summer me and Tom would get together with Nick and Tom's mum and even sometimes Lauren but we tried not to spend much time with Lauren as she is now going to be Amelia's teacher. This was all leading up today…

The day Amelia starts Nursery, Me and Tom are on the afternoon shift so that we can drop Amelia off on her first day and we are going to take our break for 3 so that we can pick her up as well. This morning has been chaos trying to make sure we have everything, that Amelia has had a decent sized breakfast and plenty to drink. We have all been up since 6:30 having showers and getting ready Amelia is the only one who has eaten though because while she has been doing we have been making sure she has everything she needs. Tom left me in charge of getting her dressed and I decided it would be a good idea to wait until she had finished eating. It was still quite warm for the start of September so I decided she could where the outfit she wore to the zoo as it has a giraffe on it and she is in the giraffe group. We were told in our induction that they were not allowed to were sandals as they are not suitable so I decided on letting her wear her dark pink high top converses as they match the outfit really well. It was then time to do her hair and like every over excited yet nerves parent you want your child to look the best on their first day. She has long dark blonde hair which is naturally straight and we are never short on idea on what to do with it but unlike most parents I don't her to just put in a ponytail or a plat she needs to look unique and special like the little princess she is In photos of my first day at nursery I was in a little pale blue dress and had my hair in messy plats which I quite liked but i can never get the same effect on Amelia's hair so I need to try something new. I tried the messy plat style but acting as if I was French platting her hair and it work so well, she had lose plats hanging down on eat side but the plat itself was tight so it was unlikely to fall out and at the end I tide them up like it was a little ball at the bottom of her hair and then put a little pink bow around each.

I sent her off down stairs while I found one of her backpacks where we could place a spare pair of clothes in case she needed them this was are hard decision as I want her to look nice all the time but I was unsure on what to put in the bag as bearing in mind she will only us these clothes in case so it had to be some we would not miss. I decided on using the Giraffe backpack we got from the zoo it was designed like a giraffe's face and had ears coming out the side on it and it was very cute as she also had a matting lunch box in the same style with little boxes to keep her food in she also had a matching fork and spoon and water bottle. It took me forever to decide on what to put in as her spare clothes I decided on a 2 in 1 playsuit which the top half was like a vest top which was pink with cream spots on it and the bottom half was designed as a pair of denim shorts with a matching belt.

I walked down stairs with her bag ready and placed it on the kitchen top deciding to take over from Tom sorting out her lunch so that he could go and get her inhalers ready and all the information that they would need. For Amelia's lunch we gave her chicken and sweet corn wraps, a small fruit salad, some cheese and crackers and a little pot of homemade strawberry moose and filled her bottle with Apple juice.

Once her lunch was ready and Tom had sorted out the inhalers we were ready to go so I got Amelia's shoes on her and took her out to the car and strapped her into her seat she was holding on to Uno like there was no tomorrow, Tom brought out her lunch box and bag of spare clothes and places them on the empty seat beside her and then went back for her inhalers before I locked the door I was making sure we had everything we needed when I remembered we needed a pair was wellington boots in case they went on a trip. We had got her a new pair as the old ones didn't fit her anymore they are pink and in the style of converses and they go up to her knees once I had gone back for them and rechecked that we had everything we were good to go so we started the short drive to the nursery, lucky it's not too long as it was already 8:10 by the time we had left.

We arrived at the school 15 minutes later and had 5 minutes to spare before the nursery opens, we weren't the first ones either the twins dad he told us he had been here from 5 to 8 as he thought they started at 8. We got chatting to him and shared contact details so if Amelia made friends with the twins they could meet up. After the five minutes where up Lauren came over and opened the door the parents all rushed in so we decided to wait for the rest to go in first.

"Morning Amelia, I love your outfit! This is our signing in area. Each group has their own signing in post and this is ours as it's shaped like a giraffe. If you look underneath them you will notice some names, can you find yours?" Miss Matthews asked. Amelia pointed to her name and picked it up.

"Well done Amelia, that's really clever, I think it because you have some very clever parents" Miss Matthews says. Amelia placed her name on the giraffe and then we made our way to the cloakroom to place Amelia spare clothes and Boots down, We found her peg, each name tag had been made colourful for each child, Amelia has been made Giraffe print. We placed her bag on the peg and the boots underneath it. We then made our way over to the Kitchen where we placed down her lunch box all the Time Amelia not letting go of Uno. We had taken lots of photos of her at home but Lauren offered to take one of us three together. We stayed with Amelia for a while until she was confident to stay by herself although she would not give us Uno but Lauren told us she would make sure that no one took him and that he would be looked after. We thanked Lauren and said goodbye to Amelia and left to go to a Café to have some breakfast before out shift started.


	46. Chapter 46

**_AN - okay so its 5am I was woken up by a unexpected thunder storm an hour ago it passing now but you can still see the lighting in the distance, I decided I would write another chapter so here it is - Enjoy P.s I know the whole Amelia and Lauren being her teacher is very unrealistic but I don't care this isn't based on fact, I hope you guys don't mind :) _**

We had gone to the little café on the outskirts of town for our breakfast. On the way to the Café the car journey was silent I was thinking about Amelia and how she was doing on her first day I expect this is also what Tom was thinking about. I quickly got out my phone and text Lauren; _If there is a problem with Amelia please can you phone me and not the number we gave you as that is Toms mums as she will more than likely be the one collecting her most days. I know this is not policy but I can't help but worry about her and I believe Tom is as well as he hasn't said one world to me since we dropped her off. Thanks, Sam xx _

I put my phone back into my bag and we parked up at the café. We got out of the car and I took Tom's hand with a Smile "She is going to be fine, I bet you she is loving it"

"You know what Sam your most probably right I just can't stop worrying when we get to work and get busy I will most likely lose track of time" Tom just smile and kissed my hair. We walked into the café hand in hand.

"Morning, would you like a Menu or do you know what you would like?" The lady behind the counter asked.

"Can we get a black coffee and a Tea with milk and two sugars and can we take a menu please" Tom asked her.

"Sure thing, here's the menu when you're ready to order someone will come and take your order" She said and handed over a menu. Tom nodded and smiled taking the menu and guiding me over to the table in the corner.

"Pass me that menu" I ask him "I'm starving"

"Woah, Sam Nicholls wanting food" Tom laughed and handed me the menu. I started scanning it.

"What you having?" I ask him.

"An omelette I did want a mushroom one but that means I cannot kiss you so I decided on ham and cheese instead" Tom says smiling and reaching over taking my hand. I just let out a little giggle and smiled.

"Well I want a BLT" I just say. Taking my coat off.

"Who are you and what have you done to Sam" Tom just chuckled.

"One Black Coffee and one Tea" The waitress says walking over to us.

"Coffee over here and the Tea is for Sam" Tom says, she places them down "Can we get a BLT on brown bread?" Sam nods her head "And a Ham and cheese omelette, Please" Tom asks.

"Not a problem coming right up" She says and walks off to give the order to the chef.

We had been in the café for about an hour and had eaten our food and also had two drinks each and had talked about all most everything. It was only 10:15 and we had ages to wait until our shift so we decided to park the car at the ED and go for a walk in the park just down the road. While in the park we sat on a bench by the lake and just watched all the different birds and animals and sat in each other company.

"Tom, I love you so much. Please don't ever leave me I promise if we ever argue I won't mean what I say" I say snuggling into him.

"I know Sam and I love you more than anything or anyone in the world wait maybe I love Amelia a little bit more but I'm not quite sure!" Tom said wrapping his arms around me.

"Well Tom if you want to be like that I think I might love her more then you as well" I tell him and giggling.

"Oh well then Sam I see how it is" Tom said letting go of me and moving away.

"Oh, Tom" I just laughed.

"What?" He asked.

"I love the fact that you can just be a big kid and not care about what anyone thinks" I say jumping on to his lap.

"Well then Sam I think I might need to rub off some of it to you" Tom says holding on to me and picking me up running over to the lake and threating to throw me in he was holding me over the lake and swinging me from side to side he was laughing. I was screaming for him to stop and wriggling all over the place.

Loads of people where looking at us and then we heard a familiar voice, well it's hard to miss her voice with her strong scouse accent.

"Alright you two love birds" Linda calls out to us.

We just burst out laughing and Tom puts me down onto the floor.

"Hey Linda, what's the time?" I call over walking towards her with Tom following behind me.

"12:30, Guess you guys are on the 1 o'clock shift" Linda says.

"Yes, we are. You?" Tom asked.

"Yer just heading there now" Linda said, we all walked off towards the ED together talking about Amelia and Linda's niece and nephew Britney and Joe as Britney was starting at the high school and Joe is starting year 3.

We arrived at work and got changed we had to get straight into rhesus as a playgroup who was taking their kids on a trip had crashed and there was a lot of toddlers with minor injuries and parents but they were refusing to be treated until their child had been. I got myself a nurse and as no one around it was Robyn, she is a great nurse and all but being new qualified mean she lacks confidence and today will be judgement day I guess because if you can't keep your cool around children what hope have you got.

The shift didn't feel like it was moving at all but then again we were rather busy. We were down to the last few and had managed to transfer some children to wards for further obs and sent home the ones who don't require it, each with a lot of thanks you's from the parents. ME and Robyn where about to start treatment onto a young boy when all I could feel was my phone vibrating in my pocket and my heart sank and my face must have dropped as I noticed Robyn and the parent in the room just turn and look at me.

"Sam are you okay?" Robyn asked.

"I just need some air" I whisper and run off.

I had ran outside and just leant on a wall and fall down it until I had my knees in my arms. I wanted to check my phone but I was too scared to, it had rung twice and it feels like I more than one message. What if something bad has happened to Amelia and I'm too much of a coward to check, Tom is going to hate me so much.

"Sam are you okay, I ran into Robyn she was all over the place and just managed to whisper that I would find you out here" Tess said. I was shaking I could feel it and I had tears running down my face.

"I'm scared Tess" I whisper so quietly I would be surprised if she heard.

"About what" Tess questioned and started to rub my back in circle motions for comfort.

"Amelia" I say trying to fight off the tears.

"What's happened?" Tess asked. Handing me a tissue.

"My phone, it went and no one but the nursery has any need to phone me today for a start the only people that even contact me are here at work" I say picking my phone out of my pocket. "I'm too scared to look, Tom is going to hate me for being such a coward"

"Hey, don't say that he loves you with all his heart and if you won't look I will pass me that phone" Tess says holding out her hand. I pass her over the phone and mumble some numbers so she can unlock it.

"They are from an Alice, 2 miss calls and a message the other messages are telling you that you missed the calls, should I read her message?" Tess asks and I just nod my head.

"Sam, is everything alright. I tried to phone Tom and left him messages but he hasn't got back to me. The reason I tried in the first place was to tell you that I might be a little late to collect Amelia from you at the Ed if that is alright. Sorry, will be there as soon as I can, Alice." Tess reads out. I just smile and wipe away the tears.

"You have got happy a lot quicker, who is Alice? Amelia's child minder?" Tess asks.

"She is Tom's mum and she is meeting me and Tom here to take Amelia back to hers as we wanted to pick her up from her first day. Do you know where I will find Tom" I ask Tess slowly standing up.

"He is in cubicles, and if Amelia finishes at 3 you guys might want to leave soon or you will be late" Tess says.

"Thank you so much Tess" I say jogging off inside.

I found Tom and we signed off on our break and headed up to the school, the car Journey felt like it went on for ever as we were both sat in silence in anticipation that her first day was an enjoyable experience for her.


	47. Chapter 47

_**AN - Hope you guys enjoy this as I wrote this on the beach... so any mistakes I am sorry! Thanks for all the reviews guys I Love them anyway as always Enjoy :)**_

We arrived at the school 5 minutes early, we were not the only anxious parents here hoping that there children had, had a good day. When the five minutes had past and still no one opened the door every started to worry just a little more, Tom was checking his watch we where needed at work and yet we chose to come out here and collect her like any other parent would but to tell you the truth we didn't ever tell anyone we were leaving only Tess I hope she spreads the word. Another 5 minutes had passed and Tom was about to open the door himself when one of the other teachers came over and did it, Mrs Hall I think her name is. Well Tom being Tom took my hand and guided me through the people so that we were the first ones in. Tom stopped to tie up his shoe lace and I headed over towards Lauren.

"Mummy!" Amelia Shouted and ran up and jumped on my. "I've had so much fun can I come back tomorrow" I just picked her up and balanced her on my hip. Lauren was just laughing away to herself.

"How has she been" I asked Lauren.

"You have one very well behaved girl, and she was very helpful when it came to tidying up" Lauren told me.

"I don't know how it happens as Tom spoils her so much" I just say laughing.

"Oh and you don't?" Tom questions walking up behind me and taking Amelia.

"Nope not at all" I giggle and take Toms hand.

"Well either way you two, you should be proud she has been so well behaved and tomorrow we are going to try and get them doing simple maths and writing their names so we will be able to tell how clever she is too" Lauren said.

"Thanks Miss Matthews for looking after her" I replied.

"Not a problem Sam she was a pleasure, Just hope mine will be just as well behaved" Lauren joked.

"Well if I have anything to do with the bringing up I believe he may be" I said.

"Try and stop, any opportunity I get, you going to babysit" Lauren laughed.

"So not many as you I'm a doctor and all that, Thanks again best go get her stuff and get back to work all they will notice we have disappeared" I said.

"See you tomorrow morning" Lauren smiled.

"You will see Amelia but not us, Tom's mums dropping her off" I said walking towards the kitchen to get her lunch box. We said by once more and let Amelia sign her name out. Tom strapped her into her car seat and we headed back to the ED the whole journey was just Amelia telling us all about what she did.

The list went on and on and on. First thing they did was get to in a circle and sing songs and listen to stories after that they went out to play in the playground then it was snack time and they were given some cookies and milk as a treat being there first day after their snack they were allowed to play with anything they wanted to until lunch where they then tidied up and had lunch after lunch they went back outside for another run around and then once inside they went into the schools hall and did some team building games for 2 hours and then for the last hour they just sat down and watched numberjacks. That was just a quick and simple version for you to understand Amelia still hasn't stopped and we have been in the car for about 30minutes stuck in the school traffic.

"Nanny's going to thing were not coming" Tom says while tapping the steering wheel.

"Did she not tell you she was going to be late?" I question.

"No, how do you know?" Tom asks.

"She tried to phone me but I was too scared to look in case it was the nursery, I ran out of cubicles and just sat outside and then it went again and I broke down scared something had happened to Amelia. Tess came out and found me in a state and looked at my phone for me and said that it was just your mum telling us that she was going to be a bit late. I calmed myself down and then came back into the ED" I told him.

"My phone is in my locker down to the fact that I would most likely of done the same thing if it went off, Sam why didn't you come and find me even though it wasn't the nursery I wouldn't of minded. Did she say when she would get there" Tom asked.

"No she just said she may be a little late." I replied. Amelia was just entertaining herself by asking Uno if he enjoyed his first day.

"Millie, Uno is going to have to wait in Nanny's car tomorrow. Miss Matthews only let him stay tody as it was your first day" I tell her.

"But Uno will be lonely" Amelia replied.

"What if Uno waits with Coco, will he still be lonely?" I ask.

"I don't think so but Coco is at your house and I'm at Nanny's" Amelia said.

"Well, when we get to the ED we can go see Nick and maybe he will drop Coco up to Nanny's for us" I tell her.

"Okay but what if Nicks busy" Amelia says.

"Nick will never be too busy for you, do you know why?" I ask.

"No" Amelia says confused.

"Because he is your papa and he loves you lots and lots" I tell her turning back and smiling.

"I love him too but can we hurry up I need to toilet" Amelia says. I just laugh at her.

"We will be there in a minute just around the corner" Tom says.

We arrived at the ED and Tom pulled into the only remaining space, I climbed out of the car making sure I had Amelia's lunch box to give to Alice when she got here. Tom took Amelia out of her seat and put her down so he could lock the car.

(Toms POV)

I can't believe what just happened... I went to lock the car but then all of a sudden I bread Amelia scream and the sound of someone slamming on the breaks. I went to look at Dam but she wasn't by the car she was on the floor with Amelia next to her. I heard Amelia shouting Daddy but my feet where glued to the floor I couldn't move. I could also hear Sam letting out tiny gasps in pain, I wish I could help them but I can't move.

"Dixs its Sam and Amelia" I heard Jeff shout to Dixie after getting out of the ambulance. They must of had a shout as they were heading off when Amelia ran out on front of them.

"3006 to control over, you need to send another crew out as there has been an emergency closer and we need to help them" Dixie said into the radio before heading over to Jeff.

"we need to help them" I heard Dixie say to Jeff.

"You go over to Sam I will go see Amelia" was the last think I heard...


	48. Chapter 48

_**AN - I tried my best with the limited medical knowledge I have to try and make the correct so sorry for any mistakes - My idea is lightly based on S26EP13 - Please enjoy. **_

(Toms POV)

I'm a semi-conscious blur. I can hear machines beeping, people talking and rushing around but I can't figure out why the last thing I remember was being in the car with Amelia and Sam listening to Amelia rambling on about her first day… so how did I end up here. I just lie here for a while with my eyes closed and listen, it sounds like whoever it was next to me has walked out of the room so I start to flicker my eyes open, the lighting in here is really bright but when my eyes adjust I know where I am, I am lying on a bed in cubicles…

I close my eyes again and try to remember the series of events which may have lead up to this, I can't quite remember all the details but I remember hearing Amelia Shouting for me and shouting for Sam and then Sam the ambulance hit her and she fell to the floor and I could hear her crying out for help but I couldn't move. I look around and about the get out of the bed when Ash walks in.

"Ah your awake, how do you feel Tom?" Ash asks.

"Amelia where is she and Sam I need to see them I need to know there okay" I panic.

"Not just yet Tom we need to make sure you are alright first, it was a nasty fall from what Jeff tells me" Ash says.

I start to repeat their names over and over getting more worked up and more panicked when I start to lose my breath I grab on to Ash's shirt and try to listen to what he's saying but it's hard I don't know what's going on I ant focus everything Is starting to go black.

"Tom I need you to calm down and take deep breaths with the oxygen mask." Ash says placing the mask on my face. I grab the mask and start to take the deep breaths but my head is spinning I'm so scared what's going on.

"Tom you are having a panic attack and I need you to calm down" Ash tries to explain but I'm still all over the place. After what feels like a lifetime I eventually calm down and come back down to earth my head still hurts but what do you expect.

"How are you feeling Tom?" Ash asks.

"A bit better, I have a bit of a headache though" I tell him.

"Well after the fall I wouldn't be surprised, Jeff told me he saw you collapse but on your way down you hit you head on your wing mirror, we need to get it cleaned up, while you were unconscious we sent you for some scans and it all points to the fact that it was shock that caused you to collapse, all the scans came back clear so you are fine other than needing a few strei-strips for your cut that I will sort out in a minute" Ash explains.

"Please Ash just tell me how are they" I beg.

"Sam is currently in rhesus, she has suffered a major blow to the head and her ribs, she also has dislocated her arm and will require it to be reduced but for now we are more worried about her head injury but she has been sent for scans and hopefully we will have the results soon, she is on a ventilator at the moment as she has suffered a pneumothorax and had a chest drain but was still struggling to breath by herself. We believe she has gone into a self-induced coma but only time will tell." Ash explains.

"What about Amelia" I whispers with tears streaming down my face.

"She was very lucky thanks to Sam, Sam pushed her out of the way and took the impact of the accident, Amelia seems to have gotten away lightly with only cuts and bruises although one was quite deep on her abdomen and required strei-stripe. She is going to need more reassuring then anything after witnessing the accident much like yourself. As a result she suffered and Asthma attack but Jeff got to her in time and managed to control it." Ash explains.

"Where is she now?" I ask wiping some tears away but not getting far as they keep falling.

"She is with your Mum in Mr Jordan's office" Ash says. I nod and give him a smile.

"When can I see her" I ask.

"Let me get the kit ready and clean up your wound then you can go" Ash says walking off.

That's such a relief knowing that Amelia is fine but knowing about Sam just ruins the feeling I love her so much as if anything happens the her I don't know how I would cope or Amelia for that matter she loves her to bits. Ash returned with the kit and sorted out my forehead.

"Ash why when it happened did I just stand there and watch" I ask.

"It was the shock Tom, you just saw two people you love get hurt" Ash says. Again I simply nod to let him know I understand.

"That's me done, you can go see Amelia now" Ash said with a smile.

I headed of towards Nicks office wondering all the time about Sam. I looked in to rhesus to see if I could see her but she wasn't there she must be having a scan of some sort.

I opened the office door to see my mum sat on the sofa and Amelia on the floor playing with Uno.

"Daddy" Amelia shouted and got up and ran over to me. I pick her up and hold her tightly but trying not to hurt he tiny body, she is covered in cuts like Ash said.

"Everything is going to be alright, I promise" I whispered in to her ear whiling kissing her forehead and stroking her hair.

"Where's Mummy?" Amelia asked.

"Mummy is with the doctors at the moment, we can go and see her soon" I told her placing her back on the floor.

"Tom what happened to your face" Mum asked as I walked over to sit by her.

"I hit it as I feel, it's nothing" I tell her. I sit here watching Amelia scared something might happen.

"Tom, I'm going to go get a drink would you like one?" Mum asked and I shake my head.

"Can I have some juice Nanny" Amelia asks.

"Of cause you can" Mum says and walks off to get them. I sit here and watch Amelia but after a couple of minutes she comes up to me.

"I'm tired Daddy" She says.

"I know sweet heart but you need to try and stay awake for a little longer" I tell her.

"Why?" She asks.

"Because if you bumped your head we need to get it checked out first" I tell her.

"I bumped it on the floor when Mummy pushed me" She said.

"You know mummy on pushed you to save you right" I asked.

"Yes but now she is poorly" Amelia said staring to cry.

"Don't worry Mils she will be okay, why don't we go and see her she will be sleeping though" I tell her. She nods her head.

I pick up Amelia and carry her into rhesus were we spot Sam on one of the beds.

"Can we sit with her?" I ask. Nicks already there.

"We are going to move her into ICU so they can monitor her breathing and then they will take it from them" Zoe says. I nod.

"Can someone just give Amelia the once over, she is tired but I don't want her to fall asleep as I don't know if she bumped her head." I ask.

"Amelia was check for all of that when she was brought in, she is fine and you can let her go to sleep if you like" Zoe says.

"Thank you" I tell them and stand next to Nick.

"Thank god you two are alright, I couldn't handle it if you all got hurt" Nick says." Amelia do you want to give your Dad a rest and come sit on my knee" Nick asked her.

"Okay Papa" Amelia says. I pass her down to Nick and give him a smile.

"You look really tired Tom are you sure you are alright" Nick asks.

"Ash checked me over and the CT scan came back clear" I explain.

We stayed here for another 5 minutes until someone from ICU came down to collet Sam. Nick placed Amelia on the end of Sam's bed. Sam was wheeled away up into ICU with me and Nick following. While in the lift on the way up I ask Nick to borrow his phone to send my mum a message as I had forgot to leave a note.

When we got to ICU it was about 7 o'clock and Amelia was really tired so I took a seat on one side of Sam's bed and Nick on the other I took Amelia off of her bed and let her fall asleep on me. I could tell this was going to be a long night.


	49. Chapter 49

**_AN - Again medic Stuff is most likely very off and I know it is also unlikely that 3 people would be able to stay all night in ICU but oh well this isn't based on facts! - Enjoy _**

(Tom's POV)

I woke around 3am and it took a while to process where I was. Amelia was still asleep on me and Nick had fallen asleep on the other chair.

wanted to scream I wanted to shout but I couldn't, they were sleeping and no matter what I did it wouldn't effect Sam she needs to wake up I need her and I need her now I just want to hold her tell her I love her but most of all I want to thank her she did the most amazing thing 12hours ago by pushing little Amelia out of the way and taken the impact for her I need to tell her I need to let her know that I will be forever grateful.

I slowly stood up holding on to Amelia I gave her a hug and the placed her on the chair. I walked up to Sam and placed a kiss on her forehead

"I need you Sam, please wake up. I can't live without you. The same for Amelia she loves you so much Sam and I never thought she would find someone she can just be herself and someone to call Mummy, she loves you and needs you, so do I more than ever Sam." I whisper to her while stroking her hair. "Thank you Sam for saving Amelia but I can't bear to lose you from it so please just wake up" I say crying stroking Sam. I kiss her forehead once more. I can't bear to see her so vulnerable and hooked on these tubes. She is pale normally but she is just even more pale I didn't think it was possible but if you saw her you could see how weak she looked and I hated it I just wanted my brave, strong, beautiful and sexy doctor in fact I don't want her I need her.

I walked out to find a nurse on the night shift.

"Morning, just wondering if I could get a blanket" I ask one.

"Morning you must be Mr Kent, Miss Nicholls partner. I'm Nurse Riley. Of course you can I was coming into check on Miss Nicholls in 10 minutes but I can get a blanket and come in now, I hope me and my colleagues have not disturbed you, your, daughter or Mr Jordan we have been coming in every hour to check on Miss Nicholls" Nurse Riley said.

"Thank you. No you and your colleagues have had no effect on us as a matter of fact I didn't even know anyone had been in at all" I said.

"That's great; I will go get the blanket and come to check on Miss Nicholls, You can go and sit with her again" Nurse Riley replied.

I walked back into Sam's room…

"Babe please get better the nurse is coming into see you soon" I said taking hold of her hand.

"Here's the blanket Mr Kent." Nurse Riley said handing it to me. I went and wrapped it around Amelia. While watching the nurse do all of the checks required. Once she was finished and writing down all the information on Sam's notes i asked…

"Is there any improvement?"

"Her BP has risen and her heart rate is more in rhythm. Maybe and this is a big maybe because she has to keep up these improvements until then but maybe tomorrow lunch time we can think about taking her off the ventilator. But you understand this is only on the conditions that she continues to improve or stays at a stable condition" Nurse Riley says.

"Yes I understand can I take a look at her notes to see the improvement rate" I ask.

"Mr Kent, I would let you but hospital notes can be very complicated things to understand" She replies.

"Well I'm sure I will manage as I am normally known as Dr Kent" I tell her.

"Oh sorry for the mistake, is Miss Nicholls a Doctor too as I know that Mr Jordan is" she asks.

"It's alright, I guess you work night shifts mainly as me and Sam have called up from the ED many times to ask for a transfer." I say.

"I only ever work night shifts and feel free to look through what we have recorded of her stay here overnight so far." She replies with a smile "Now I have other patients who require my help so if you don't mind me going I will be off and if I'm not back in an hour one of my colleagues will be"

"No that's perfectly fine with me" I reply. She smiles and walks off I just take a hold of Sam's hand and start to stroke her hair with the other.

"Sorry to interrupt but I thought you might like these" Nurse Riley says bringing in another chair, some pillows and some blankets.

"Thank you it's much appreciated" I tell her with a smile.

"You're welcome, need anything else just ask" She says, Smiles and walks off.

I decided to make things a bit more comfortable for Amelia so I place her onto the other chair and then put two of the pillows down and a blanket, then I move her back onto the first chair taken another blanket to wrap her up in she starts to stir for a while but nothing comes from it.

"Daddy is just going down to the ED for a minute, I will be back soon. I Love you and Mummy very much" I say placing a kiss on Amelia's fore head and one on Sam's I also decided to leave a note in case Nick wakes up explaining where I will be.

I walk off down to the ED to get some stuff out of my locker including my phone. I then take one of the NHS hoodies as I'm still only wearing scrubs but I don't care I just have a feeling it might be cold outside. I walk through the ED and I notice Ash.

"What are you still doing here?" I ask him.

"Pulled a double shift, I had an argument with the misses and didn't feel like going home" Ash replied.

"I understand used to be the same with me and Amelia's mum, always fighting so I just stayed at work for as long as I was allowed" I said.

"How's Sam, we are all worrying about her" Ash asks.

"No change really, still on the ventilator and in the coma but her condition is stabilising her BP and heart rate rising" I say.

"That's fantastic news, tell her we all miss her down here and wish her a speedy recovery" Ash says.

"Will do, Thank you by the way, for everything" I say and then head off out into the morning air which is cool but refreshing.

It's about 4 o'clock and the nurse will be going back and checking on Sam in 15 minutes. I hope she is still improving. I go and sit over in the peace garden a place Sam always comes to when she needs to think so I thought I would give it a go but it didn't help as all I could think about was Sam and how she needs to get better. I still don't quite believe what happened I feel really bad that Jeff and Dixie are going to have to live with that I don't blame them it was no one's fault really as Amelia just wanted to get inside but when she noticed them she froze so Sam jumped out it was just unlucky that we arrived at the same time they head a shout.

I could see the sun was starting to rise so I knew it must be around 5 o'clock so I started to head back up into ICU while walking through the corridor I bump into Nurse Riley.

"Hey Dr Kent, enjoy the fresh air?" She asked.

"Yes it was nice and gave me time to think, how is Sam doing?" I ask

"She was still improving around 4 but she has since become stable and stayed there" She says.

"Thanks you, I guess you are heading home" I reply.

"Yes but my colleagues will be just as kind don't worry" She says in a jokey voice.

"I'm not sure on that you have done so much, Thank you I really mean it" I tell her.

"It was nothing but thank you it's always nice to feel appreciated" She says.

"I know what you mean, Goodbye have a good day" I say.

"And you" She says walking off and waving.

I head back into Sam's room where both Amelia and Nick are still asleep so I pull up the spare chair closer to her bed and take a seat while take her hand again and stroking her hair.

"I love you Sam, please wake up" I told her as my eyes started to feel heavy and I slowly drifted off.


	50. Chapter 50

**_AN - Thought I would give you a 2nd update today as I'm feeling kind... well actually I'm in pain :( Just went swimming in force 6 winds which wasn't nice anyway enjoy :)_**

(Nicks POV)

I slowly start to wake up trying to take in my surroundings and remembering the events of yesterday. I look around and I see Amelia all tucked up in a make shift bed, Tom asleep holding Sam's hand and resting his head on her and Sam lying there hooked up to loads of machine it hardly seems fair that it's my Sammy lying here but it is and nothing I say or do can change that all she needs to do now is wake up and make me the happiest dad ever! What Sam did was just amazing and something she would do again and again if she has too, she was always putting her life in danger to help others and I hate It, it scares me so much but it who she is and if she didn't do it she would not be my Sammy.

"Morning Sammy, I hope you had a nice sleep and there weren't any nightmares. Me, Tom and Amelia have been with you all night and I must say it hasn't been the most comfortable of nights and I'm still rather tried but it wasn't until around 1 this morning that I fall asleep its now 8 o'clock and I should be starting shift but I can't, I can't go down there and carry on like nothing's happened so as much as you are going to hate the decision I made I left Zoe in charge of things downstairs. So I can spend all day and all night at your bedside until you wake up because I need you to Sammy I can't lose you as well I need you to wake up and help me stay strong for Jack, I need you to wake up and come home with me because every night you're not there it's so lonely and I miss not having you around, I need you to wake up and just be you again Sam the Strong fighter you are I hope you have lost your fight Sam you need it now more than ever your fought the demons in your head your fought out in the war zone no you just need to fight for your body and keep it alive. I love you so much Sammy and I'm really proud of you, I don't tell you that often enough but I promise I will tell you it every day for this day on as I need you to pull through I can't live without you and Jack it's so hard to go through each day trying to stay strong for Jack and these last 18 hours have been incredibly hard trying to stay strong for both of you and if Jack could be here right now I know exactly what he would be saying 'Come smidge I need you to wake up so we can go and have a catch up, I love you smidge and I miss you so much' Or something like that. Sammy please just give me a sign that you can hear me, anything just something I need to know you are alright" I say taking hold of her hand and letting the tears fall. I look up and notice Tom he's awake and also has tears falling down his face I shot him a reassuring smile when the most amazing thing happened ever! I felt Sam squeeze my hand I wasn't sure if I imagined it or not so I asked her again…

"Sammy, I don't know if that really happened or not but can you please do it again, I need to know"

And just as the same she did it again I let go of her hand and kissed her forehead.

"Talk to her Tom, take her hand and talk to her" I tell him. He looks a little confused but does as I say.

"Sam, I love you, you know that right and I love what you did for Amelia and I will be forever grateful to you and so will Amelia but we need you to wake up or to give us a sign that you are hear in this room with us and it's not just your shell, we need to know that our Sam is in the room. Amelia is sleeping waiting for you to wake up she misses you; I found this out around 3 this morning when I was woken by her calling for her Mummy to ask for a hug in her sleep. We both need you but your Dad needs you too and what about Lauren she needs you to get better so you can help her look after the baby. I went down to the ED to get my phone just after the Nurse left you around 3:30 and I bumped into Ash he was down and needed a friend he had pulled a double shift just so he didn't need to go home but even though he needed help he still ask me to tell you that you need to hurry up and get better as they all miss you downstairs and well I don't blame them Sam you are amazing and I miss you so please wake up I just want to be able to hold you in my arms again. So Sam if there is anyone here in this room with us please show us a sign" Tom said bending down and kissing her forehead.

"Nick she just squeezed my hand is that why you asked me to hold it?" Tom asked me and I simply nodded.

"She squeezed mine as well, I'm going to go find a nurse or doctor" I say walking out of the room.

(End Of POV)

(Tom's POV)

I can't believe what just happened it was amazing Sam is here with us and can hear everything we are saying I know doctors always say talk to them as they can hear you but I never believed it I thought it was just meant to make you feel better. I then turn and look at the clock 8:25, I need to phone Lauren.

"Hey Lauren its Tom"

"Oh Hey Tom, what's up"

"Amelia won't be in today and maybe even tomorrow depending on how things go also is there any chance you can come down to the hospital? I know you're at work and all but I think it would help Sam if she could hear lots of different people"

"What do you mean help Sam?"

"Look I'm sorry I didn't phone you yesterday when it happened but there's been an accident and Sam's in a Coma."

"Oh god, is she alright what happened"

"Well we had just arrived at the ED after collecting Amelia and well Amelia went running for the ED but an ambulance came around the corner was going to hit her but Sam noticed and jumped out pushing Amelia out of the way and taking all the impact"

"Oh my god please tell me she is okay and what about Amelia"

"I would love to Lauren but I can't tell at the moment as she is in a Coma but her condition is stable and we were just talking to her and she squeezed our hands, Nicks gone to find a doctor and Amelia is fine just very shaken up and missing Sam she was asking for her in her sleep, she had got lots of cuts a bruise and some strei-stripes on her abdomen but like the rest of us she just needs Sam's reassurance"

"Oh Tom, I will see what I can do I might be able to organise cover for the morning and come down and see you, If I can't get any ill phone but if I don't ring back its because I'm on my way to the hospital tell Nick that when I get there I'm going to give him a big hug just like the ones he used to give me when I was upset"

"Okay well I will talk to you soon; I need to go Amelia is waking up"

"Alright bye Tom, thanks for phoning me"

I hung up the phone and headed over to Amelia.

"Morning Mils, how you feeling?" I ask her.

"My side hurts and I want Mummy to make it better with one of her hugs" She says with tears in her eyes.

"Oh baby. Mummy can't hug but if she could she would be why don't you go and give her a kiss and have a chat just so she knows you are here waiting for her" I say with a tear in my eye. Amelia nods her head and walks up to Sam's bed climbing on the chair I left there so she can reach. At this point Nick walks in with a nurse but they stand in the door way and wait.

"Mummy you have been sleeping a long time now, can you wake up now. I miss you Mummy you make me laugh and play with me all the time but you can't now because you are sleeping. When I go to nursery I'm going to look silly now because Daddy will have to pick my clothes and do my hair and he isn't very good and doing that. I love you lots and lots like jelly tots, Uno says he loves you too and he told me Coco wants you to give him a cuddle. It hurt me when you pushed me Daddy says you pushed me out of the way to save me. You hurt yourself doing that Mummy so why did you? I love you and miss you Mummy please wake up" Amelia said and bent down to kiss her head. I was now crying and I turned to look at Nick who was also crying.

"Morning Millie, Hold Mummy's hand and ask her if she can hear you" Nick says.

"Why Papa?" Amelia asks.

"Just hold her hand Millie" Nick says. Amelia takes Sam's hand.

"Mummy, can you hear me when I talk to you?" Amelia asks her.

"DADDY!" Amelia shouts.

"What Mils" I ask.

"Mummy grabbed my hand back, does that mean she can hear us" she asked. I nod.

"Can you come over here now Mils so the Doctor can look after Mummy" I ask. She gives Sam a kiss and climbs of the chair and walks over. The doctor goes over to check Sam.

"Nick, I phoned Lauren. She says she is going to try and get the morning off and come and see Sam. She also told me to tell you that she is going to give you a hug when she gets here" I told Nick.

"Thank you for phoning her, I was meant to but never got round to it" Nick replied.

"Right she is squeezing your hands to show that she can hear you and that her body wants to fight but here heart rate has gone down slightly and until it improves we cannot risk taking her off the ventilator because we are unsure on whether she will breath for herself. A nurse will be in every hour to check her vitals and if they increase I will come in and access the situation again and see what we can do." The doctor informs us and walks out.

"Thank you" Me and Nick say at the same time which causes Amelia to giggle. It was so nice to hear her laugh after what has happened.

Me and Nick both take a seat again and Amelia is say on the end of her bed, we are sat in silence other than the odd questions that one of us ask of the little mumbling that Amelia Is doing while playing with Uno.

Another hour has passed and the nurse has been in to check but there is still no improvement.

"Hey you guys, who wants the first hug" Lauren says walking into Sam's room.

I just chuckle and Amelia just looks confused so Lauren walked over and gave Nick a hug.

"She will be fine, She is a fighter and can overcome this she won't be going anywhere for a while well other than home she isn't going anywhere. She will fight this and you know why? Because she has our support!" Lauren said.

"Thanks Lauren and those words sound familiar" Nick says.

"Well when I used to be feeling down when I was at your house you would give me a hug and tell me that I would be fine and that I'm a fighter and I can overcome any thing that life throws at me. So can Sam she just needs us to support her and lets her know we care and there is a reason for fighting, she has overcome so many hard times in her life already and she fought so hard to get to where she is today" Lauren said.

"Lauren you are right you know she has fought and she has tried so hard and she has many reason to wake up. Although I can't believe you remember that" Nick says.

"The amount of times you used to give me the chat and a hug it would be hard to forget though words" Lauren says with a smile. She then walks over to me and gives me a hug and whispers in my ear to stay strong for Amelia's sake.

We then sit around having a chat for a while because the nurse will be coming in soon again.


	51. Chapter 51

_**AN - Sorry for the late update I didn't know that when I left the house at 9am today I would be out all day Geocaching! I'm going to be out all day again tomorrow for a planned family day out so unsure on whether I will update but please enjoy this one **_

(Tom's POV)

The nurse came back in and checked out Sam's vitals but they were still a little low. Lunch time was quickly approaching and it was starting to look less likely they she will be taken off the ventilator.

"Guys, don't worry she will be off of it" Lauren said picking up Amelia.

"I know Lauren but I can't help but worry. I need her back" I said.

"Tom, she hasn't left she is still here with us" Nick said.

"I need to be back at the nursery for 12 so I'm going to have to leave soon but I will come back around 3, do you need anything I can bring in some stuff." Lauren asked.

"Amelia needs a change of clothes, she has some at the nursery if you don't mind bringing then back with you? If anything changes I will ring you"

"I'll bring back her bag with me Nick you don't need anything? And feel free to phone me whenever you like." Lauren said.

"No thank you Lauren I have everything I need" Nick replied.

"Can Lauren go to your house Papa and get Coco I think Sam would like him" Amelia asked.

"Sure she can I think Sam would like that too" Nick said passing Lauren his keys.

"Sure thing Amelia" Lauren said walking over to Sam and taking her hand. "I need to go back to work now but I will always be thinking about you Sam, I need you to wake up so you can be a part of the babies life. I need you to fight this and overcome it you have been through so much but you always overcome it, look at you now you can walk around without long sleeves on, you now make sure you never miss a meal. You have overcome so much and you can overcome this, I love you Sam you are my best friend." Lauren said giving Sam a kiss

"I need to go now but I'll be back later with Coco" Lauren said giving Amelia a hug.

It was half twelve and the nurse had come in to offer us lunch and something to drink she told us what was on offer and then let us chose.

"Can I have a cheese and tomato sandwich with some orange juice please" I asked.

"Can I get an omelette but could I have it with cheese instead of mushrooms as Sam is allergic and it doesn't make sense to bring them in here" Nick asks

"Of cause it's alright I understand what you are saying and I agree completely. What would you like to drink" The nurse says.

"Could I get a glass of ice cold water please? By the way I have just noticed we haven't asked your name yet you have been with Sam all morning" Nick says.

"I'm Staff Nurse wood but please feel free to call me James." he says with a smile then looks to Amelia "What would you like for lunch"

"Can I have a ham sandwich and some apple juice please" Amelia asks.

"Of cause you can, I will be back soon with you lunch. If there is anything else we can do for you just ask" James told us and went off.

We had eaten our lunch and played a couple of games of snakes and ladders but Amelia didn't really understand the rules much so there was some cheating going on it was coming up to 2 o'clock and James was due back soon any minute, hopefully Sam has managed to stay at the stable condition she has been at for the last few hours as this may mean they will take her of the ventilator.

"I hope you three enjoyed your lunches, if you would like anything else to eat or drink just let us know I'm going to check over Sam now" James said.

"Thank you" Nick said taking a seat. After 10 minutes or so James was starting to write Sam's notes down so I decided to ask if there were any improvements.

"Any chance of her coming of the ventilator?" I ask him.

"Sam's vitals have improved a lot so I will take her notes and go have a meeting with the other doctors to access the situation but it's looking promising" James said with a smile and walking off.

"Thank you so much" I called after him and then phoned Lauren to tell her the good news just as I was hanging up there was a knock at the door.

"Tom, can we come in?" Dixie asked.

"Sure, I was hoping to talk to you guys." I said gesturing them to enter. "Dixie, Jeff I am so sorry about what happened and I just want to let you know that I don't blame you for it and if you every need to talk to anyone I will be here for you two it was a terrible thing that happened but now we have to move on and stay strong for Sam she needs us."

"Oh Tom, thank you so much I felt so guilty, we would have come up earlier but I was worried you would blame us for what happened and I didn't know if I could take that" Dixie said crying.

"Dix, I would never blame you it was not your fault" I said again. Nick was just sat on the other chair playing with Amelia.

"Hey princess how you feeling" Jeff asked Amelia.

"I'm okay but it still hurts when I touch it and I miss mummy" Amelia said giving Jeff a hug.

"Well princess I think its best you don't touch it then" Jeff said ruffling her hair and placing her down "And we all miss her" Jeff said.

Jeff was sat playing with Amelia and Uno. Me, Dixie and Nick where having a chat and we just lost track of time and somehow it was already 3:30 and Lauren was walking in.

"Hey guys Look who I've got" Lauren said walking in.

"Coco" Amelia shouted and jumped up, running over to get it.

"Hey give me a hug first then you can have him" Lauren said picking up Amelia. She then placed her down and gave her Coco where she went back over to Jeff and started to play again.

"So Tom what's happening?" Lauren asked walking over to me, Dixie and Nick.

"She had improved a lot and they are currently having a meeting to access the situation" I explained.

"That's great but I hope you lot don't have to wait much longer, By the way I'm Lauren, Sam's Best friend and Amelia's Teacher" Lauren said directed it at Dixie and Jeff.

"I'm Dixie and that's Jeff over there playing with Amelia, we are paramedics here. Nice to meet you" Dixie said and got up to hug Lauren.

"Oh here are your keys Nick" Lauren said walking over and sitting on him.

"Thanks, you can say there but not for long" Nick said.

We sat chatting again for another hour or so before some doctors walked in with some nurse's including James they then check over Sam and went back to their assessment before coming back in.

"We have come to our decision and Miss Nicholls will…."


	52. Chapter 52

_**AN - Okay this is a quick update as I am currently waiting for the lift to take us out to the Maze so please enjoy.**_

(Tom's POV)

"We have come to our decision and Miss Nicholls will be taken off the ventilator. I'm afraid that there is only room for 3 of you in here while we remove the ventilator we will leave you for a minute or two while we prepare to make your decisions." The doctor said. They walked off to prepare.

"Tom me and Dixie will leave you 4 too it" Jeff said then he walked over to Sam's bedside "Hey Kiddo, how you feeling? Me and Dix miss you lots and we need you to come out on shouts with us because I know we moan at you all the time when we are out on shouts but to tell you the truth I think what you do out with us is amazing I have just never told you that you are a strong, brave woman who has a lot of guts and knows how to use them. Now I've said that Dixie, Tom and your dad will probably kill me but I don't care kiddo you have to be my favourite doctor that Nick has ever hired and I look forward to being told that it will be you out on shouts with us. Please wake up Sam me a Dixie need to see you again we can't live with what's happened, Please wake up kiddo. Me and Dixie have to go now but once you are awake we will come back and visit!" Jeff said. Dixie just walked up and whispered something to Sam and gave her a Kiss. They walked off and the doctor came back over.

"There are still four of you in here. Who else will be going?" The doctor asked.

"Well I'm sorry but I am staying in here with my partner, Mr Jordan in staying here with his daughter, Lauren is staying here with her best friend and Amelia is staying here with her Mum, Surely if one of us is holding Amelia what different does it make if she is in one of our arms" I say.

"Okay, I understand you can all stay" The doctor says. They start to get to work on Sam and removing her ventilator Lauren is sat on the chair with Amelia on her lap and Nick is standing on one side holding Uno and Coco and I'm standing on the other side. Around 30 minutes later the doctors had finished removing the ventilator and checking and then re checking her vitals until they were stratified.

"Miss Nicholls is currently breathing for herself and we expect her to wake up in the next hour or so" One of the doctors said and we all let out a sigh of relief, The doctor here around collecting all of the equipment and his staff left all but James you stay in the room in case of emergency.

We are all just standing around looking at each other now until Nick decides to make the first move.

"Sammy, it's time to wake up now we have waited all night for you and we all agree that it's time to wake up. The doctors have also come to that decision Sammy so now it's down to you. Lauren's here again she came back after work and she brought you Coco but Amelia is busy playing with him so unless you wake up and ask her if you can have a cuddle you won't be getting one I don't think. I Love you Sammy please wake up" Nick says and kisses her head. He then walks over to us and picks up Amelia and walks back over to Sam.

"Talk to her Millie" He says and places Amelia on the side of her bed. We could all fit on the side of the bed with her she is that small in it but we don't want to in case we hurt her.

"Mummy the doctors came and took that big tube out of your mouth does this mean you are going to wake up now because we are all very sad waiting for you. Lauren got me my nursery bag to get changed so you need to pick some more clothes to go in it now; she also got Coco for you so here he is. I love you mummy please wake up" Amelia said and went to give Sam a hug this was worrying but we just let her carry on. I walk up to the other side of the bed with Lauren.

"Babe I need you okay I need you to wake up, I never knew how much I needed someone like you in my life until you came into it; I need your help with Amelia, I need you to make me laugh, I need to be in your company, I need you to cook for me because well you know last time I tried I nearly set the house on fire and me and Amelia don't want to go back to simple old pasta and takeaways we need your fancy ideas, when you are recovered I'm going to get you too teach me these cooking skills, I need you for Amelia she won't let me dress her anymore as you always do it so much better, when Lauren brought her change bag I wasn't even aloud to put that on her she made Lauren do it, I need you for many things Sam but I just can't name them all and now you're lying here in front of us I can see it more than ever. I love Babe so please wake up!" I said and lent down pushed her hair out of the way and kissed her forehead.

"Hey Samantha, Samantha Oi Samantha listen to me. I'm only joking Bones I was trying to wind you up to see if it would wake you up but anyway I'm back. This afternoon was such a drag at work I couldn't concentrate knowing you were in here in need of our support. I spoke to dean before I came back here he says he sorry he can't come but he is working and he also told me to tell you he loves you and he doesn't want to lose you he told me you're like the annoying cousin that is always around and getting in the way but he then said that is why he loves you and we wouldn't want you any other way. Come on Bones wake up we need you for everything and without you our life's would all be very boring you have walked into each one of them and it is not time for you to leave them yet so please wake up Bones I love you!" Lauren said. And carefully hugged her.

We all went and sat back down leaving Amelia to play on the end of Sam's bed again we sat around and started to wind up Lauren about the baby trying to get all the information we can and we were laughing again before we knew it. It was coming up 6:30 and Sam had been off the ventilator for 2 hours now but she was still breathing for herself, Amelia kept asking when she would wake up but none of us had the answer.

"Would you like anything to eat or drink" James asked around 7. And then gave us a sheet of paper with what's on offer.

We all had a look at the sheet and decided what we wanted.

"Can I have sausage a mash, in fact can we have it twice one for Amelia and can we have two orange juices as well, please" I ordered for me and Amelia. James nodded.

"Can I have Jacket potato with Cheese and beans, and a glass of orange juice as well please" Nick asked. James nodded.

"Can I just have a milkshake, banana Please" Lauren asked.

"You need to eat Lauren" Nick said.

"I will have something when I'm back with Dean" Lauren replied. Nick just nodded.

"Well I will go give your order to the chef, if Miss Nicholls condition changes find a doctor if I'm not back" James said.

Nick started to moan at Lauren once James had left and told her that if she doesn't help she won't have any energy to fight for Sam. We once again take our seats around her bed.

"Amelia…" Croaked Sam.


	53. Chapter 53

**_AN - Wooo It's Battle day... Shame I can't go as I have an interview, I will have to go tomorrow evening instead. Thanks for all the reviews guys, Enjoy :)_**

(Amelia's POV)

I was sat on Mummy's bed playing with Uno and I heard Mummy voice but I have been here it a lot today I think it because I miss her but this time it sounded different. Daddy, Papa and Lauren are all too busy talking and I don't want to get in the way so I just carry on playing with Uno.

"Amelia" Croaked Mummy.

There it was again the same voice calling my name. I crawl over and off the bed. I look over but none of them have noticed I got down I then walk over to Mummy. I notice that she is trying to open her eyes.

"Mummy are you awake now?" I ask her. Mummy nods her head.

"Amelia" She croaked picking up her hand I take it.

"Hello Mummy, are you feeling better?" I ask. Again she nods.

"Amelia what going on" Daddy asks.

"Mummy called my name she is awake come and see" I say, and then all three of them jump up.

"Sam" Daddy calls to her and takes her hand and starts to kiss her.

"Is Amelia alright" Mummy croaked again.

"She is fine, Thank you so much for what you did Sam I will be forever in you debt" Daddy says giving her another kiss.

"Let's just say you owe me one" Mummy croaked and smiled at Daddy.

"Don't try to talk too much just yet Sammy" Papa called over and then Daddy moved out of the way so that Mummy could see him. Mummy took his hand and smiled at him.

"I love you Sammy" Papa said and gave her a kiss.

"Morning Bones or should I say evening anyway I'm so glad to see those big brown eyes of yours for once I used to be so jealous of them as you would get all the boys and I would end up with no one anyway Welcome back bones I missed you!" Lauren said taking Mummy's hand and smiling. Mummy smiled back at Lauren.

"Here's your dinner guys" James said walking in holding a tray. "What's happened?" He then asked.

"Mummy woke up, look" I shouted at him.

James then placed down the tray and walked over to Mummy's bed.

"Welcome back Miss Nicholls how are you feeling" James asked her.

"Sore" Mummy croaked.

"That's to be expected, You have a few cracked ribs and a dislocated shoulder and a nasty cut to your face we used strei-strips on it to try and reduce scaring" James told her.

"Scaring Hpmh" Mummy said holding up one of her arms.

"I see well I'm just going to check you over and try not to talk to talk too much just yet" James said.

I went off to eat my dinner. Daddy and Papa joined me and Lauren drank her milkshake while she was on the phone.

(End OF POV)

(Nicks POV)

Sammy has woken up thank god for that she wants to talk to us but she isn't allowed to just yet. She is going to come home with me as I can take more time off work then Tom as Sam won't be there for the next 6 weeks at least we are going to need all the doctors we can get. We have been told that Sam will be put on 24 hour observation but depending on her improvement she may be able to leave earlier. Then there was a knock at the door, Lauren opened it.

"Sorry I haven't been up earlier, it's been chaos down stairs although don't get me wrong Zoe is doing a great job. How is Sam?" Charlie asked.

"See for yourself" I told him, he walked up to Sam's side.

"Hi, Charlie" She croaked.

"Oh Sam." Charlie said kissing her head "It's so good to see that you are awake we are all worried about you and they are all wishing you a speedy recovery down stairs, well we need you, Nick and Tom back the ED all over the place but of course we all understand you need time to recover but that doesn't mean we can't rob Tom and Nick off you. Louis phoned again last night I told him you had been in an accident he wishes you all the best as well, I didn't tell him what happened though as I didn't think you would like that."

"Thanks Charlie" Sam croaked and weekly smiled at him.

"You don't need to thank me Sam, I love you like you are my own and i know you inside out" Charlie replied.

"You're the best godfather anyone could want" Sam croaked.

"Hey you try not to talk too much" I told her.

"Charlie's your godfather" Tom asked confused.

"Yer didn't you know. Me, Sam and Louis used to play together all the time" Lauren said.

"No I didn't know but it all makes sense now she used to mention how they grew up together and that no matter what she couldn't lie to Charlie" Tom said.

Charlie stayed for about an hour.

"Right Sammy, I can see you are tired and so am I. I'm going to go home now but I will visit you tomorrow be it here or at yours" Charlie said giving Sam a kiss.

"I should probably go too Bones, Deans at home waiting for his dinner. Like Charlie said I will visit you tomorrow no matter where you are. Nigh babe see you tomorrow" Lauren said and gave her a hug.

"Right well 'm going to head down to the ED and walk these too out, should I take Amelia with me to give you and Sam some time alone" I said, Tom gave me a nod.

"I would love that, Thanks Nick" Tom said. Charlie picked up Amelia and we left heading off down stairs. I wasn't sure if any of our team would be on the night shift today but just as I was thinking that I walked into Fletch.

"Mr Jordan how is she?" He asked.

"Much batter thanks, she has been taken of the ventilator and is now awake, how are things down here?" I ask.

"That's great news, Tell her I wish her all the best and well things at the moment are fine down here as we aren't too busy to this afternoon was hard." Fletch said.

"Well, Tom should be back at work soon I will give him until next week and once he is back things should run a little more smoothly" I said, Fletch nodded and went off.

We then walked out into the night air which was cold very cold we said our goodbyes and I took Amelia off of Charlie.

"I believe she won't be in again tomorrow" I told Lauren.

"Nick, Tell Tom not to worry about it, for this first week we don't do much anyway, Just try and practise writing her name with her" Lauren said she came over and gave us a hug "Night you two"

"Night Lauren" I said, I looked down to Amelia to ask her to say goodbye but she was already a sleep. We walked back up to Sam's room and I found Tom and Sam asleep, Tom was resting his head on her arm and she had her head on his. I placed Amelia down on the chair with all the pillows on and then wrapped her up in a blanket I then placed one of the blankets around Tom an went and sat in the chair and dosed off myself.


	54. Chapter 54

**_AN - Updateing might become less frequent soon as I have been accepted on to a work scheme where I will go to training and do many different courses and eventually have a placement which will hopefully lead to paid work. As always though thanks for the reviews and enjoy :)_**

Its Wednesday and coming up to 1 o'clock and all the doctors are rushing around getting things ready for when I leave but If I to tell you the truth I don't really want to leave, it's safe in here and there's people to help me if anything happens. I know I'm going home to dad's and he's a doctor and all but whenever things used to happen to me or Jack he would just freeze up and not be able to help us. Don't get me wrong I want to go home and all but I'm just worried in case something happens. I can't even stand by myself yet and it's horrible this means I'm going to have to go down through the ED in a wheelchair.

"Sam, you ready?" Tom called over as Nurse Riley came in with a wheelchair. I nodded weakly at him.

"You will be fine" Nurse Riley said comforting me and Tom helped me from the bed into the chair.

"Can I sit you're your nap Mummy?" Amelia asked.

"As long as you're gentle" I said opening my arms for her. Amelia came over and climb onto me. I gasped in pain but instead of pushing her away I embraced her into a hug.

"I love you so much baby girl don't ever scare me or Daddy like that again" I whispered too her.

"I'm sorry Mummy" Amelia said.

"Hey don't be, it's alright we are both still here. Tom make sure we have Uno and Coco and her bag as you are going to need to put some more clothes in it" I say.

"Yes Mam" Tom said and I started to giggle.

"Right we ready to go?" Dad asked and started to push my chair, I nodded again worried about going downstairs to the ED.

On arrival to the ED it was alright there wasn't many people around but when we got further into the heart of the ED I became enter of attention and it was horrible.

"How are you feeling?"

"Are you okay?"

"I hope you recover quickly"

"Enjoy your rest"

They were just some of the things said to me I couldn't remember them all as everyone was around and I just couldn't take it anymore and felt some tears roll down my face.

"Mummy are you okay?" Amelia asked she seems to be the only one who has noticed.

"Right guys back off a bit and give Sam some space" Ash shouted over everyone. I throw him a weak smile.

"I'm sure Sam is happy that you are all thinking about her at this time but it is also very overwhelming for her coming out of hospital so would you all like to get back to your jobs, I'm sure Sam will come in a visit you all when she is up to it" Ash said.

"Thank you Ash" I said whipping the tears away.

"No problem, how are you feeling?" He asked.

"Much better thanks and I will come in soon and see you all but I would be back to work for at least 6 weeks so you can expect to see me around here a lot!" I said.

"That's great, it's good it have you back Sam" Ash said, The doors flew open to reveal Jeff and Norman pushing a trolley.

"Right back to work you lot" Nick shouted. "Give me a few weeks and then I will be back here shouting orders at you guys" Every started to head back off to their stations. Expect Charlie.

"It's good to see you out of bed Sam" He said.

"Thanks Charlie but sitting in this thing is just as bad" I said. Charlie chuckled and walked off.

"Can we go see if Dixie is about?" I asked.

"Sure" Dad replied and started to head off, Tom grabbed my hand and held it as we walked out well they walked and I was pushed out towards the ambulance bay.

"Dixie" I called. She came out to see who it was.

"Sam, Thank god you are okay" Dixie said bending down and hugging me.

"Ouch" Amelia Said.

"Sorry, Millie just happy to see your Mum again that's all" Dixie said and Amelia just pulled a face at her.

"Dixie, it wasn't your fault alright, I don't blame you for anything that happened and besides I'm alright only dislocated my shoulder and cracked some ribs nothing rest can't fix" I said smiling.

"Your such a brave kid you know Sam nothing seems to faze you, you just get up and carry on like nothing happened" Dixie said smiling.

"Well I learnt from the best" I said turning and facing Dad He just chuckled.

"Dixie, want a Coffee" Jeff called over.

"No Jeffery, Come over here though" Dixie shouted back.

"Hey Kiddo, welcome back, you feeling alright" Jeff said.

"Fine just getting a bit tried now" I said.

"Well we won't keep you then, enjoy your rest" Jeff said, Dixie gave me another hug and Jeff just lightly punched me on the arm. "Cya Kiddo"

We left and walked/pushed to the car, Tom and Dad helped me into the front of dad's car. Amelia gave me a kiss and a hug. "See you tomorrow Mummy" She said. We told her that she would be going back to Nursery tomorrow but only until lunch time when tom's mum would collet her and bring her down to my house where Tom will be and Dad.

"Night Babe, see you tomorrow" Tom said and then gave me a hug and a kiss too.

"Bye Amelia" Dad said picking her up and giving her a hug "Be a good girl for Daddy tonight as he is very tired"

"Bye, Papa and I will, look after Mummy" Amelia said and Dad placed her down.

"Bye Tom, see you tomorrow" Dad said getting into the car, we drove off, the trip was only 10 minutes but Dad had to wake me up when we got back as I had fallen asleep in the car.

He helped me up to my room and then went down stairs to make me some soup. I got out my diary I keep for Jack to let him know what's happened and I started to write about the accident and the coma, It's lucky I'm Ambidextrous as I can't use my right hand which I'd prefer to use but like I said I got of lightly and I am very grateful for that.

(Nick's POV)

I walked back upstairs 20 minutes later carrying a tray which had a bow of warm chicken noodle soup and a cup of water for her.

When I got to the room I noticed that she was asleep with her dairy and pen still on the bed I also noticed that she had removed her hospital band and stuck it in the diary. She makes this diary for Jack and has been doing every year since he was reported missing. She says that when Jack does come home she is likely to forget things to tell him so she has made a note of all the important days since although we are all worried about what he might say to her after she started her self-harm and when she decided to join the army but on the other side of things we thing that Jack won't really want to hear about the bad days in our lives since he left but that is unlikely as he is very supportive and he loves Sam to bits.

I place the tray down on her bedside table and start to move the stuff off of her bed to make it more comfortable for her. Once I had removed everything I decided to have a read of her diary and the way she wrote about what happened is amazing I'm so proud of her she wrote one paragraph that just sums up Sam so perfectly 'I haven't wrote much the last couple of day's but you see I have been in a coma. I woke up yesterday evening so I was in the coma for about 36 hours I would say. Just gone 3:30 on Monday afternoon me, Tom and Amelia had just arrived back at the ED after picking up Amelia from her first day at nursery, she couldn't stop talking about it she must have had so much fun. When we got to the ED Tom had got her out of her car seat and turned to lock up the car, I turned and notice Amelia running towards the ED doors and then I noticed an Ambulance coming around the corner and at the point Amelia noticed it I ran out and pushed her out of the way, I turned to look at her but she looked so scared and breathless but I was just as bad I couldn't breathe it hurt too much, I remember Amelia shouting for Tom but when I turned to look at Tom he was all the floor as well and I could hear Jeff and Dixie running about me and Amelia but the last thing I heard was Amelia weakly call my name and then the next thing I remember is waking up in the bed in ICU a while later and having Dad, Charlie, Lauren, Tom and Amelia all around me. I was told a bit more about the accident but having heard all this I had to clear up with Jeff and Dixie that I don't blame them, if anything it is all my fault I'm like this for jumping and pushing Amelia out of the way but then if I hadn't Amelia would most likely not be here today and I couldn't live with that so I would rather be sat in bed right now feeling very tired and sore because the pure happiness I feel right now I knowing I did something to save a little girls life and not just any little girl my little girl, no one knows this yet but I have the adoption papers and I plan on having them ready by Tom's birthday as it will be a nice surprise and then all the slating I get from people because I let Amelia call me 'Mummy' won't matter because in the eyes of the law I will be her mum and I don't think I want anything more right now then to be he mum. I wish I could write more but I'm getting really tired so I think I'm going to stop here and go to sleep, I will tell you more about what happened tomorrow, Night Jack, I miss you' After reading that entry I had tears in my eyes. But I was unsure why as it was simply Sam just being Sam and knowing she is going to adopt Amelia and knowing that she isn't blaming anyone for what happened and that it was a genuine accident it just makes me so proud.

"Night Sammy, Sleep Tight. I love you" I tell her and place a kiss on her forehead before going and having an shower and then going to be myself.

(End of POV)


	55. Chapter 55

**_AN - Nice little well long chapter - Enjoy :)_**

I have been recovering for about two weeks now, the first two where hard but I just feel like my now but I'm still not allowed back to work which is so annoying, it is so boring being sat at home by myself watching day time TV. Tom went back to work after the first few days and Dad had stayed with me up until today and Lauran would visit most nights but now I'm by myself.

I stayed at Tom's last night as I will be taking Amelia to nursery and collecting her for now. Tom started his shift at 6 she he had already left when we got up it was 7:30 and we really need to hurry up as we had to walk as I'm not allowed to drive yet.

"Millie you eaten that yet" I called through to her, she was sat on the sofa eating her breakfast while I was making her lunch which isn't an easy task with only the full use of one hand.

"Nearly Mummy" She called back. I had just finished putting her Lunch into her lunchbox when she came in with her empty plate.

"Finished, Mummy" Amelia said placing her plate in the sink.

"Right well let's go get you dressed" I said taking her hand and walking up stairs.

"Right then Missy, it is cold and wet today so what are we going to wear?" I asked her as we got upstairs. Amelia shrugged her shoulders and went off downstairs I was looking for something for her to wear and so far I had found an orange plaid shirt styled dress which she could wear with some navy chunky cable knit tights or she could have her cameo style skinny jeans with her fluffy cream jumper. I laid these outfits out on the bed and then I could hear her coming back upstairs.

"I want to wear these today Mummy" Amelia said walking in a showing me her tan studded cowboy boots.

"Sure baby girl, with what outfit though" I asked.

"The dress, please Mummy" She said.

"Alright nut you're going to have to help me with the buttons" I said smiling and starting to get her undressed as I did this and she was standing just in her underwear I checked over all of the cuts and bruises she got from the accident, they look like they were healing well and the big one on her abdomen was nearly gone. I gently touched it to see if I would get a response but I didn't which is a good sign because it shows that she isn't in any pain anymore. I pull her tights on her and put her dress on and wow the buttons were hard to do but with Amelia's help I got there in the end, I then got out one of her belts and put it around her waist and got out her denim jacket.

"Right Millie, if you go wait down stairs I will come and do your hair just let me get dressed first" I said.

"Okay" Amelia said and went off down stairs.

I went to get dressed and I chose a pair of grey skinny jeans, a dark orange short ¾ sleeve lose cardigan, with a black vest top on underneath and a leopard print scarf. I go back into Amelia's room to pick up her jacket at her boots and then head off down stairs.

"Millie" I call to her.

"Can I have a plait just down one side please Mummy" Amelia asks running into the room.

"I would love to baby girl but mummy can't do it very well yet with me arm so are you sure?" I ask

"I don't mind if it's a little bit messy" Amelia said.

"You are just too cheeky, you know that right" I said getting everything ready and starting the fishtail plait. After 3 attempts I was happy with it so we made sure we had her lunchbox and we went to put on our shoes, Amelia put on her boots by herself and I choose to wear some tan heeled ankle boots. Making sure I had everything I needed in my bag we left and I locked up the door, it was 8:00 and I have a feeling we might not get there on time.

While we were walking Amelia was singing some songs which was keeping me entertained. We arrived at the nursery at 8:25 which is very surprising with the pace Amelia was walking.

"Sam?" I heard someone say but I wasn't sure who it was. So I turned around.

"Amber, what are you doing here" I said,

"I was going to ask you the same thing, I never knew you had a little girl" Amber said.

"Well I never knew you had a child either, as my cousin surly you should tell me" I said.

"I could say the same to you" Amber replied.

"Well Amelia isn't actually mine, I'm with her dad and well she has just got very attached to me and as I'm not allowed back to work for at least another 4 weeks this is my new job, looking after the best little girl in the world" I say ruffling Amelia's hair.

"Well I see but it is much the same for me. I'm dropping off Cameron for his mum as she has gone to have a scan" Amber says.

"I see" I said as Mrs Hall opens the door and we both go in Amelia and Cameron both put them names on the signing in board. I walk over to speak to Lauren and Amber goes off to speak to Miss Andrews.

"Morning Amelia, you're looking pretty today" Lauren says to her but she just runs off as soon as she notices Ellie come in, Ellie must be Amelia's best friend as she is always talking about her. I told myself that I would get in contact with Ellie's mum to plan a day out for them two at the weekend.

"Sam, how are you feeling?" Lauren asks.

"Much better, you couldn't point out which one Ellie's mum is could you" I ask her.

"That's great and sure" Lauren says pointing over to a lady with dark hair.

"Thanks" I said.

"No problem, Amelia is always playing with Ellie you can't get them apart from each other" Lauren says and I just giggle and walk over.

"Hey, I'm Sam, Amelia's Mum" I said.

"Hi Sam, I'm Hazel, Ellie's Mum" she said.

"I was wondering if you wanted to meet up at the weekend so that Amelia and Ellie can play together" I ask.

"Sure but I have a new-born as well he is only 2 weeks old"

"Aww, is his name Layton?" I ask.

"Yes, how did you know" Hazel asked.

"Well Amelia is always going on about a little baby called Layton so I just guessed" I said. Hazel just giggled.

"Well Layton's in the car with his Dad at the moment so if you want to come out to the car I can get you those numbers" Hazel Said.

"Sure just left me find Amelia to say bye or she will never forgive me" I told her. Hazel nodded.

I went and found Amelia and said goodbye and gave her a kiss and then I found Hazel and we walked off to her car.

"Here's my number" I said handing her a piece of paper with it on. Hazel smiled and then sent me a text with her husband's number on from her number and told me to save them both, Her husband's name is Ben.

"Thanks I'll phone you later then with some plans just let me talk to Amelia's dad first to see when he is on shift" I said.

"Oh yes that right, you and Amelia's dad must be the two doctors" Hazel said.

"Yes, we are how you know" I asked.

"Well one of the parents weren't too impressed when she tried to get her mum to pick up her child and Miss Matthews told her unless she phoned and told us who they where she would not be able to send her child off with her. Well she got in a big stress saying that she can send Amelia home with her grandparents and it's not an issues so Miss Matthews tried to explain that it is because you and Amelia's Dad are doctors and it is hard for you to get hours around Amelia's nursery hours but she wasn't having it and starting giving it loads as she hasn't got a job and started claiming it was unfair that the fancy doctors with all their money can do whatever they please but because she hasn't got a job she isn't allowed too. Miss Matthews tried to explain that it was because you introduced her to your Dad and Amelia's Dad's, Mum but she wasn't having it and went off in a strop." Hazel explained.

"Wow, when was this?" I asked.

"The end of their first week when your Dad dropped off Amelia and picked her up" Hazel said.

"Well then she needs to get her story straight because what was see doing that was so important she couldn't pick up her child, because I wasn't at work that day and Tom had only just gone back after having most of the week off to sit up in ICU at my bed side" I said.

"What's ICU?" Hazel asked.

"Sorry Intensive Care Unit" I told her.

"Really, what happened" Hazel asked.

"Me and Amelia where in an accident but we are alright now but on that Friday I had only just managed to stand by myself afterwards so somehow I don't think I would have been dropping her off" I said.

"Well from what we gather she is just too lazy to get off her ass and pick up her child so it's no wonder Miss Matthews was trying to back your corner I never knew about that accident, I hope you are getting better" Hazel said as Layton started to cry.

"We are much better now thanks, just not allowed back to work or to drive for the next 4 weeks which is quite annoying I must say, I will let you go and get on with your day" I said.

"Where are you heading" Ben asked.

"I was going to go see Tom on his lunch break down at the ED" I said.

"Well jump in as we have an appointment for Layton down at Holby City, I'll drop you off" Ben said.

"As long as you're sure" I said and Ben nodded his head so I jumped in the front say that Hazel could it in the back with Layton.

On the way down to the hospital we just had a general chat to get to know each other.

"You don't mind being dropped her do you?" Ben asked pulling into the car park at the front of the hospital.

"No its fine, I can walk around to the ED, I hope everything goes alright with Layton" I say.

"He should be fine just a quick once over as he was born a week early so just to check out his health" Hazel explained.

"That's a relief, I was worried that he was ill" I said.

"No he is fine do you want a cuddle?" Hazel asked.

"I would love one but I don't want to make you late for your appointment, so if you have time you can pop down to the ED afterwards and I can have one then" I said.

"We will see" Hazel Smiled.

"Thanks for the lift" I said smiling.

"Don't mention it, need any more just give me a call I work from home so I'm very flexible" Ben said and took Layton off of hazel and they walked hand in hand into the hospital. On my way to the ED I couldn't help but wish that was me and Tom, I know we have Amelia and I love her as if she was my own child but I do want to have one of my own. I guess me and Tom will just have to get busy as we haven't done so yet but it isn't the easiest of things to do when you have a 4 year in the house.


	56. Chapter 56

**_AN - Sorry if this chapter seems abit out of place but I wanted it in there. - Enjoy_**

As I walked into the ED I could see everyone busying themselves with a patient who seems to be putting up a fight for some reason or the other but who knows why, I walk up to Noel and Big Mac to try and get some for information.

"Hey guys what's going on in there?' I asked.

"Sam! How are you feeling" Noel asked.

"Much better. Now rhesus, what's going on?" I ask again.

"Some woman claiming she came here to find her ex-husband and won't let anyone treat her until she sees him but she won't tell anyone his name so we are all a bit stumped" Big Mac says.

"Well what's her name? Surely you can trace next of kin?" I ask jumping on to the top.

"I think they said it was Melissa but won't tell us her last name or we would have down so already" Noel says.

"Did you say Melissa?" I ask needing conformation.

"Yes, why..." I heard Noel begin but I had already jumped off and headed into rhesus. What I saw in front of me confirms my suspicions.

"Samantha, darling where's your father" She says.

"I don't know, why are you here" I ask.

"Don't be shirty with me young lady you never leave your father's side of course you know where he is" she shots at me.

"Sam what are you doing here" Tom asks.

"I wish I knew Tom and I do not know where he is and well you know nothing about me so don't go pretending you do" I say walking closer to her bed.

"Samantha, darling I know lots about you, like how you drove my baby boy away and he hasn't been seen since, you are a waste of space Samantha and no one loves you and no one ever will. You are a disgrace and always will be, you ruined this family and will ruin..." she started. I was on the floor with tears streaming down my face and wasn't sure what was going on.

"No Melissa, I think you would find you ruined our Family, you drove Jack away and you drove Samantha away and she lost it bit over the years she has managed to sort out her life and now she happens to be the best Doctor I know... So Melissa before you judge Samantha I think you should take a long hard look at yourself. You are the disgrace and you ruined our lives but unlike you we fixed ours bit let me guess you are in her with some sort of alcohol related illness." Dad says walking over and picking me up.

"Now I don't know why you are in my department and I don't want to hear the answer I was told by the paramedics that even though you were closer to St James you requested to come here so whatever your problem is it can wait and you are going to St James I have organized the transport and they are on the way." Dad says holding me up and escorting me out of rhesus.

"I'm dying Nick, I only have a few days left. So I wanted to say sorry" She says.

"Well Melissa I know for a fact just because you were on your death bed doesn't mean I am going to forgive you, look at Samantha she is a mess and that's just from seeing you again. She is the strongest she has ever been in years and then you walk into our work place and look at what you have done to her, I will never forgive you, our Son left because of you and you mentally abused our Daughter to the point she was harming herself now I don't know about you but I think you should leave" Dad says turning around and wiping some of my tears away.

"All of you lot back to work and don't disturb me, any of you" Dad said and leaded the way to his office.

On the way to his office I got all sorts of looks from everyone but only one person came up to see if I was alright.

"Sam, what happened?" Hazel asked. Thinking about it makes me burst into tears all over again.

"Sam had an encounter with someone she would rather not see again." Dad said after noticing I couldn't speak.

"Oh Sam, do you want me to wait for you?" Hazel asked.

"No thanks, Hazel, I don't know how long I will be" I replied fighting the tears away.

"Well you have my number so ring if you need anything or if you just want to have a chat" Hazel replied come over and giving me a hug.

"Thank you" I said and Hazel just smiled.

When we got into Dad's office I just fall on to the sofa and let the tears fall he came over and comforted me and told me not to rush and to just let it all out.

(Tom's POV)

As I stand here replaying what just happened in here I can't help but notice how little this woman knows about her own daughter and I also understand how Sam came to the conclusion she would be a rubbish Mum but Sam is anything but a rubbish Mum in fact I would say she is one of the best Mums out there she had taken Amelia as her own and done everything to protect her from everything and anyone for example 2 weeks ago when she jumped and pushed Amelia out of the way, not many parents can do that but I think it has something to do with Sam's Army days. Of which Sam's mother doesn't even know she joined.

"Oi, you when is this transport getting here" Melissa shouts at me.

"It's been delayed" I said through gritted teeth trying to keep calm.

"Can't your paramedics just take me" She orders.

"No because funnily enough they have a job to do and it doesn't involve escorting people like you around" I say turning my back.

"People like me, what's that meant to mean?" She questions.

"It means Ignorant, self-centred, Home-destroying Sociopaths like you. Parents who feel the need to blame their child, their poor innocent child for no reason other they you wanted an excuse not to blame yourself so you chose to blame and drive your other child away, you lost one because of the way you acted you are an alcoholic who didn't and still doesn't care about the success and welfare of your own children" I say moving closer to her.

"Who are you to judge you know nothing about other then what your boss has just said, just because you lot are doctors you think your all that but I can tell you, you aren't perfect either" She says then lets out a gasp in pain and clutches her side.

"I never said I was perfect but at least I try my daughter loves me more than anything in the world because I care for her and show her that I'm there it isn't always easy to do so when I'm working but whenever I'm off I take her out I spend money on her I let her know that she will always come first and that I would rather spend my money on her then going out and getting off my head. What Mr Jordan said about you only added to the sick and twister image I had of you in my mind already the one your daughter told me about because she happens to be my partner and the only times she ever mentioned you was/is when she talks about her dark past and rotten childhood where she was driven to self-harm, when she talks about her brother she feels the need to try and convince me that it wasn't her fault he left every time she mentions him or when she is feeling down and starts telling us she is not capable of looking after our Daughter because she is scared she will turn into the SICK MONSTER YOU ARE" I said, shouting the last words.

"Well it's because she is lying she is the reason he left and she couldn't take the guilt, I'm no monster if anything she is. Today was the first time I have seen her in 14 years and she didn't even want to know or want to tell me about her life, how come I wasn't aware she has a daughter" Melissa says.

"Don't try and act innocent, you are far from it. Your drove them both away with your drinking which has also lead to you being sat in this bed with Liver cancer which has spread throughout your body. Sam used to come home from school and find you on the floor passed out in a pool of your own vomit which she then cleaned up to try and save you from Nick but I wish I knew why she did it but I don't and you want to know why you haven't a clue about your daughter's life it's because she wants nothing to do with you and that's, that. She has moved on and done so many things to be proud of in her life but you don't deserve r to know any of them" I spat out the last words.

"You think you know it all because you have been with my Daughter for a month or so, she isn't cable of loving anyone" Melissa said.

"I have actually been with your daughter for about 6 months now and we are happy together nothing can pull us apart we are stronger than ever after what happened a few weeks ago but again that's something you don't need to know I'm not letting all of Sam's secrets out you can go to hell not knowing them and you can let it eat you up because you were a SHIT MOTHER and nothing will ever change that no amounts of 'I'm Sorry' will ever change what you did" I said.

"You have some nerve" Melissa said.

"THAT MIGHT HAVE SOMETHING TO DO WITH HAVING A SUPPORTIVE MOTHER" I shouted at her and walked out I couldn't stand the sight of her for one more moment. As I walked through to the reception desk I could feel the anger rising in me until I felt the need to explode and I did so in effect punching a hole in one of the pillars.

"Tom, you alright mate?" Fletch asked.

"I will be, I just need some air" I said.

"As long as you're sure mate" Fletch said.

"Positive" I replied walking off outside.

(End OF POV)

I had stopped crying and started to talk to Dad he had managed to calm me down and we were laughing again thinking about all the good time we had together with Jack he had explained to me again why Jack left because I couldn't get it out again what she had said. There was a knock at the door.

"Come In" Dad called. Tom walked in and came over to me.

"Are you alright Sam" He said embracing me into a hug.

"I'm fine now I promise" I said holding him close.

"She's gone now" Tom said. I just sat there in his arms.

"I will give you two some space, I need to go talk to some of the staff who were in rhesus at the time" Dad said walking out. Tom moves to take a seat next to me and he places his hands on my leg.

"What happened, Tom?" I ask noticing his hand is all bloody.

"Let's just say I had a chat with your mum and well I punched the wall instead of her" Tom said.

"Tom what did you say to her" I ask moving away.

"I only had a go at her for being a complete and utter bitch and for what she caused you to do. I refused to tell her any details of your life since you and Nick left her" he replied.

"Tom, thank you so much I don't want her to know anything" I said moving back toward him and snuggling into his chest.

"You know you should really get someone to look at that" I said while lying on him.


	57. Chapter 57

_**AN - The phone call between the to hospitals is probably not correct but I tried my best - Enjoy.**_

"Tom" I mumble.

"Yes Sammy?" Yes replies.

"Have I been asleep?" I ask.

"Yes" Tom replies and plants a kiss on my forehead.

"What time is it?"

"2:45" Tom says.

"Why didn't you wake me? What about Amelia?" I ask.

"Because you looked so peaceful and I didn't even realize it was that late" Tom Says.

"I'll phone Hazel, she will be at the nursery already" I say getting out my phone.

"Who's Hazel?" Tom asks.

"Ellie's Mum" I reply and then phone her up.

"Hey Hazel, can I ask you a massive favour?" I ask.

"Hey Sam, what's up?" Hazel replies.

"Well I kind of fall asleep at the ED and have only just got up and I won't make it to the nursery in time and Tom's working so would you mind picking up Amelia for us? I'll phone Lauren and let her know." I say.

"Sure thing, she can stay for dinner as well if that's alright with you, I'm sure they would both love that but who's Lauren?" Hazel asks.

"Lauren is Miss Matthews and I think that is a lovely idea, Me and Tom can meet you at your house just after 6:00 when he is finished at work if that's alright?"

"I see, yes if you don't mind phoning her that would be great and sure thing we live at 27 Holby court, it's just around the corner from the nursery, if you get lost on the way feel free to phone me again. I need to go as they have opened the door see you later" Hazel explained.

"Thanks a lot I will quickly phone Lauren, wait actually just pass her your phone for a minute I'll tell her on here, she will be fine with it trust me."

I waited to hear Lauren's voice before I spoke again.

"Sam, Is everything okay?" Lauren asked.

"Hey, Lauren everything fines it's just I sort of had an unexpected visitor before which caused a lot of stress and somehow I fall asleep and Tom decided he wouldn't wake me up, so now we are kind of stuck and we need Hazel to pick up Amelia for us" I explain.

"Sure thing, but who was the visitor?" Lauren asked.

"Look it's a long story, I can come round to yours tomorrow after you have finished work and talk to you then about it but right now I better let you get back to work and you are sure your fine with Hazel picking up Amelia." I ask.

"Yes its fine why wouldn't it be and I will phone you later okay you aren't getting out of this one that easily" Lauren said.

"Look don't worry about it Tom's not letting me out of his sight anyway, Can you thank Hazel and tell her I said Bye? And I guess I'll talk to you later then?" I said.

"Okay, I will don't worry" Lauren said hanging up the phone.

I get up and try to sneak out of dad's office without Tom noticing as he is too busy looking at a magazine of some description. I managed to get out but it was only when I was sat at the reception I thought he would have most likely heard me close the door and would come after me.

"Noel, Big Mac, Louise. If Tom asks you haven't seen me okay" I say running off.

I just want time on my own to think about what I just heard but I can't because there is no where I can just go a sit and be alone. I am currently outside the on-call room but I can hear someone walking around the corner so I just open the door and hide behind it.

"Sam?" Tess says. "Are you alright?"

"I don't know Tess, I don't know why I feel like I need to know more" I say falling to the floor and letting the tears fall.

"Oh, Sam is this about your Mother?" Tess asked and I just nodded my head. Tess walks over and gives me a hug.

"I need to know how she is Tess, I want to know if it was true and she really has only got days left to live but I don't know why I care about her, I shouldn't not after how she treated me but I can't help it" I say and whipping some tears away.

"Because she's you mother Sam and no matter what there will always be a tiny place in your heart for her and I think you also want to know why she did what she did to you but you don't know how to get the answer, has she always drank? Or do you have any happy memories with her at all?" Tess asked.

"For as long as I can remember she has been drinking and I don't think I ever saw her smile once. The memories I have are only ever of Me, Dad and Jack never her the only ones of my mum are seeing her passed out and ones of her shouting at me but whenever she was passed out I felt the need to help her then I would clean up her vomit and sometimes patch her up if she had hit her head when she fell but Jack would always tell me to leave her she wasn't worth the effort but whenever I asked for his help to move her on to the sofa or where ever he would help me. I did all this so that when Dad came home from work he didn't have to worry about her and he could just spend time with us but it didn't always work out that way he would leave me with Jack and take her into hospital and sometimes not return to the next day but he would always make up for it by taking time off work and taking me and Jack out to the seaside or where ever. I don't think I have a single happy memory with her and I hurts Tess but I still want to talk to her" I admit.

"I think I know why. You used to do all of that for your mum to make life easier for Nick and to give him time to spend with you, It wasn't because you cared all that much about your mum you just wanted to have someone look after you for a change and now your mum is dying which is the truth Sam the test results are in her notes, you want to know why she used to make your life a living hell and I also believe that there maybe was some happy memories with her and you want to be able to remember them but the only things you can remember are the bad points and because they overruled the god ones you cannot remember them, which is why you want to talk to her you want to understand it a little bit more, you want to remember, it's not unusual Sam" Tess said smiling and helping me up.

She helped me over to the sofa and then took out her phone.

"Phone, St James and ask about her, I believe Nick had her placed within one of the wards and my best guess would be Cheyne ward but if not just mention that Mr Jordan had her moved from Holby City to St James." Tess said passing me her phone. "Come and find me after you have made the call" Tess said standing up and walking off.

I punched in the number for St James and pressed call but before someone answered I hung it up again as I wasn't sure what to say but after I came to the conclusion on what to say I tried again and got through.

"St James medical team how may will help you" A friendly voice on the over side said.

"Hi, This is Dr Samantha Nicholls from Holby City ED, I was wondering if I could get any information on a Melissa Nicholls who is possibly on Cheyne ward, Mr Jordan just had her transferred from our ED to your hospital" I ask.

"Afternoon, Dr Nicholls but as you know we cannot give out details of patients unless they are family members" The Receptionist said.

"Yes I do but if you where to get up Melissa's note you would see that I am her daughter, my birthday is the 12th October 1985, and currently live at home with my father Mr Nicholas Jordan." I said.

"Very well Dr Nicholls all that information matches with the information on her notes at this moment in time I have no information I can give you but if you stay on the line I can transfer the call up to Cheyne ward for you"

"Thank you" I said and then the call got transferred I am waiting for someone to pick up on the ward and a little lost on what to say to them.

"Good Afternoon this is Staff Nurse Haddon from Cheyne ward how may I help you."

"Hi, this is Dr Samantha Nicholls from Holby city ED, I am phone for information on my Mothers condition Melissa Nicholls" I says.

"I have Ms Nicholls notes up on screen could you please give me some information about you that only you would be able to provide"

"My birthday is 12th October 1985, I live at home with my Father Mr Nicholas Jordan, I am allergic to mushrooms and my last medical operation was having my wisdom teeth removed when I was 15 other then that my most recent admission to hospital was 2 weeks again when I was involved in a road accident and ended up in a coma" I said

"Well Dr Nicholls, your mother condition is critical yet she is stable at the moment, from our examination she hasn't got long left and if you wish to see her please feel free to come in but for now there is not much more information we can give you" Nurse Haddon explained.

"Thank you, I will see if I can make it in" I say hanging up the phone and going to find Tess. I knock on her office door.

"Thank you for letting me call them" I said handing over Tess's phone.

"No problem, what did they say" Tess asks

"They told me she was in a critical condition but stable and that she only has a matter of days left and I should really go in a visit her." I say.

"Well are you going to go and visit her?" Tess asks.

"I want to but I don't want to go alone and Tom doesn't finish until 6 and then we need to go and collect Amelia from her friends" I reply.

"I can clock of early and go with you if you like" Tess says.

"Really you would do that for me?" I ask.

"Of Course I would" Tess says coming over and giving me a hug.


	58. Chapter 58

_**AN - this is a long chapter and i'm sorry for any mistakes as I have just woken up and am still feeling very tired I was out until the early hours watching the meteor shower - Enjoy **_

The journey with Tess is really awkward but I guess it didn't help that the whole time I wanted to jump out and run off, I couldn't help but let my mind wonder to all the uncertainties in which she might give me. Like what if there isn't a reason she started the drinking or what if I did something to her that I can't remember and then she started the drinking. I don't even know what to say to her but what if she starts shouting at me as soon as I walk in, I can't take it okay. What about Tom and Dad I just left without a trace but if either one knew I was coming here it would be a whole different story they wouldn't let me they would shot about it tell me it isn't going to help but then after they calmed down they might see it from my point of view but then that could have been too late. I hate lying to either one of them but sometimes it's for the best.

"We are here" Tess said lightly and placing a hand on my shoulder.

"Tess what is she won't talk to me?" I say letting a single tear roll down my face.

"If she doesn't it means you have won, you where the bigger person" Tess says rubbing my shoulder.

She gets out of the car so I slowly climb out of my side, I gasp in pain as I put too much force on to my arm.

"Are you alright?" Tess asks.

"Yes I just forget sometimes that it hasn't healed probably yet" I say throwing Tess a fake smile.

"Maybe if you wore the sling you would remember" Tess says in a patronising way. I just shot her the I'm-a-doctor look.

We walk into the hospital and notice how busy it is but this shouldn't surprise us considering we work in a hospital as well. We make our way through all the corridors and stairwells until we come across the Cheyne Ward. I get out my ED card which proves my ID.

"Dr Samantha Nicholls. I'm here to see my mum Melissa Nicholls" I say showing the lady my ID.

"Afternoon Dr Nicholls, You can go through but first you need to sign in and you too Sister Bateman" The Nurse behind the desk says. We sign in and he shows us the way to Melissa's bed.

"Here you go she hasn't spoken to us since she has been here so it is unlikely she will talk to you" The nurse explains then leaves us alone with Melissa.

"Mum?" I questioned her.

"Samantha is that you?" She asked, I nodded my head but realized she couldn't see me.

"Yes, Mum. Why did you do it" I asked.

"I'll leave you two to it then" Tess says walking out.

"Do what?" She replied trying to play innocent.

"Drink every day until you passed out" I stated.

"Because I became addicted and refused help, I start to drink so I didn't have to feel the pain of losing your grandmother when you were 5 but I then felt the need to do it every day and I know it ruined yours and Jacks lives but I still remember the time when we were happy, like the day we took you and Jack out on your new bikes you got from Santa. We went out early that morning me and your dad trying to teach you how to ride your first bike, you were only 4 but you were very good at riding it and Jack was 10 he had got a new bike with gears and he loved it as well it took him a while to get used to the gears but he managed to. When it came to lunch time we decided it would be a good idea to turn around and head home but on our way home it started to snow and I remember your face lighting up like it was the best thing in the world and you ran around jumping for joy and then Jack started to make a snowman with dad so we went off looking for stones for eyes and what not and when it was finished Dad pick you up and sat you on the snowman and Jack stood beside you holding your hand we did take photos that day but I don't know where they are now. Then there was the time we took you and Jack to the seaside one day to have a picnic and just a general muck about but when we woke up that day we were greeted to rain and a storm but we still went because It was the first day your dad had, had off in a long time so we may of all had colds the next day but it was a great day all in all. The last proper time we spent together as a family was on your 5th birthday when we went out camping and just sat up all night watching the stars but it was a great night to do it on as there was a meteor shower so we saw lots of shooting stars and you had another picture prefect face but then a few months down the line your grandmother died and it hit me hard you and Jack never knew her so you didn't really understand but that was when the drinking started and I became the worse mother ever and for reason I don't understand myself I just couldn't bring myself to stop the drinking" Mum told me. I'm just standing there crying wishing I could remember these times.

"I'm sorry Mum, but I don't remember any of that" I say with tears streaming down my face.

"It's okay. I don't expect you too as I know what it's like to only have negative images of the past, my Mum was a cow to me too. I promised myself I would never treat my children the same and for the first 5 years of your life I didn't I was a great Mum but then when my Mum died unexpectedly I couldn't handle not knowing why she did what she did to me because unlike you coming here today and talking to me and finding out the truth I couldn't do that and to this day I still never knew why. I know it's a rubbish excuse for me doing what I did but you know what it feels like not knowing and it eats you up inside until there is nothing left living for and I am so glad you came to me because I could not bear it if you turned out the same, Tom mentioned you had a daughter I bet she is the most beautiful little girl ever and it such a shame I will never get to meet her I wish I had changed my ways early and been a part of your life but when Jack was reported missing it did help matters things only got worse as I'm sorry for how I treated you I really am but where you and your dad left as well it was so hard being by myself. Samantha what did you do with your life where you in any clubs what was your first job. Please I know I don't deserve to know but I would like to know a little more about my beautiful young lady." Mum explained.

"Mum I never knew about your Mum doing the same to you and I do know what it's like to be in the dark and it isn't easy we both had our escape route, yours was the alcohol and well mine was this" I said showing her my wrists "I used to slice myself up until I was numb but after a while it stopped working and I starved myself as well. That was when me and Dad left. He found me a place on a mental health ward and it didn't help one bit until one day Dad said as he was leaving what would Jack thing and then I spent that whole night crying and in the morning I went into the hall and ate something to the shock of all the nurses. I was then released a few months later when I was at a stable weight and a stable state of mind. I was 15 and I went back to school to get all my GCSE's and a year later I finished them with top marks then it was the summer holidays and we would spend every day down at the beach just mucking around and causing problems then when so I was 16 and loving life nothing could of got any better we used to hang out with boys older then us Dad hated this but we loved it because it meant we could have lifts anywhere as they drove and we could also get a hold of alcohol but I never really drank much of it. I then somehow got engaged to one of the older boys and then a few months after my 17th we got married but then new came out that a camp in Afghanistan had been broken into and all the soldiers freed but now where English this made me lose it again and I sliced my arm up until I blackout then while staying in hospital overnight I came to the conclusion I was going to go out there and find Jack but while doing it train as a doctor because I always wanted to be one it was easy getting the army to accept me but they did on the terms that If I could get through the training without showing any signs of mental illness they would take me, Dylan my husband at the time claimed It wasn't possible so I went out there and proved him wrong I became a doctor and spent 3 years in Afghanistan my marriage broke up and I was a wreck again but one morning after a bombing we were under a lot of pressure and I killed an innocent man and I couldn't take it so I came back to Holby to live with dad and have a career as a doctor, where I met Tom and fall in love again and now I have little Amelia to stay strong for" I explained about my life.

"Oh, Samantha. You really have been through it all. I never thought you would go out there not after Jack what would have happened to your Dad if something happened to you too. I am sorry I drove you to harm yourself but I am so happy you managed to fight it off and now look at you a beautiful feisty young doctor with a heart of gold, I am so proud of you Samantha and you are right you know you have got Amelia to stay strong for and I wish I had the same frame of mind you do when everything happened. Where is Amelia now? Who looks after her when you and tom are both at work?" Mum asks.

"She goes to nursery now and Dad helps out a lot along with Tom's Mum. She is not actually my Daughter I don't have children yet but I do want some but I am planning on Adopting Amelia as I have been more of a mother then hers and she loves me to pieces and I love her like she is my own and now I have been with Tom and Amelia for 6 months or so I couldn't imagine my life without them. Everything is just so prefect right know, I have an amazing job doing what I love the most, an amazing Dad who helps me with anything and everything, I have Tom and Amelia who are my life and I have just had a heart to heart with my mum" I say with tears in my eyes.

"Samantha I am so happy for you. You have always been one to get what you want because you fight for it and don't give up until you get it. It doesn't matter whether Amelia is yours or not as long as you love each other and you are still young there is plenty of time for you to have a child I am just so happy you didn't when you got married as that would of but an end to your dreams like I did I always wanted to be a teacher but when Jack came along I could carry on at college but don't get me wrong I love you both no matter what" Mum says taking my hand.

"I Know mum I know I say" Holding tight to her hand I get out my phone as well to show her some photos of Amelia, me and Tom and she is smiling away but has tears in her eyes we have been talking for ages when Tess comes back in.

"Sam, it's nearly 6 if we don't go now Tom will get suspicious when he can't find you at the ED" Tess says. I nod to let her know I heard what she said.

"I need to go, because I meeting Tom then we are going to get Amelia from a friend's house, I would love to stay longer but I can't as Tom or Dad don't know I'm here and they wouldn't understand why anyway." I say.

"No I understand, Tell them you visited though let them know the truth don't lie to them because I know your Dad will be angry at first but once he has calmed down he will understand completely and if Tom really loves you he won't be able to stay mad at you for long and by the look of these photos he does and Little Amelia looked so happy on her first day of nursery and you and Tom looked fit to burst in the photo of all three of you at the nursery. Goodbye Samantha, See you tomorrow maybe. I am proud of you and love you very much I not it's hard to believe but don't forget it alright"

"I will tell them don't worry and you and Dad are so alike he would tell me if they really loved you they wouldn't care and he also came to the conclusion that Tom really loves me. I will never forget her first day at nursery it really was an extraordinary day. Goodbye Mum, if I don't see you tomorrow just remember that no matter what I have always loved you and it hard for me to understand at times but it's true" I say placing a kiss on her cheek.

"Thank you Samantha for visiting me" Mum says as me and Tess walk out. We sign our names out at the desk and then head back to the car for the drive back to the ED.


	59. Chapter 59

_**AN - Sorry for the late update I have been at a Funeral and then went out afterwards with some family and friends who I haven't seen in ages, I hope you will forgive me but I have just got back and thought I better give you an update before I go to bed as it is midnight where I am -Enjoy :)**_

I arrived back at the ED just after 6 I got out of Tess's car said goodbye and thank you and went over to the ambulance bay knowing that it is a place Tom most probably hadn't checked yet.

"Dixie, Tom hasn't come looking for me has he" I ask.

"No, I haven't seen him all day, why do you ask." Dixie replies.

"Okay well I'll explain another day but if he does come looking I've been out here all afternoon helping you" I say.

"Are you sure everything is alright?" Dixie asks. Jeff walks over to see me.

"You will back me up won't you Jeff, if Tom asks I've been with you guys this afternoon" I ask him knowing he will go along with it.

"Of course Kiddo, but why would he come looking?" Jeff asks.

"We are going to Amelia's friends to pick her up, she went for tea" I said. Then headed over to an ambulance they were cleaning and sat on the stretcher while Jeff came over and finished doing what he was doing and Dixie washed down the side as it was all muddy.

"Jeff, Dix" Tom called.

"We in here Mate" Jeff called back.

"Hey, I was about to ask if you have seen Sam but I guess you have as she is sat right there" Tom says jumping in and giving me a kiss.

"What you doing out here?" Tom asks.

"The ED wasn't much fun as you were all busy so I came to see Jeff and Dixie who weren't that busy" I told him taking his hands and jumping off the bed stretcher and into his arms. "I guess we should go get Millie" I said kissing him on the cheek.

"Thanks for keeping me company Jeff cya" I said. Walking off outside I bumped into Dixie.

"See you tomorrow maybe, bye" I said and she gave me a hug.

"Come on then Tom" I said grabbing his hand and walking to the car.

We get into the car after a short argument which Tom swiftly won, I wanted to drive but he wasn't having any of it and then he pulled out the old if you do anything stupid and get yourself hurt again just think about how much longer you will have to stay of work card, he had been using this one a lot on me as he knew I was really bored and wanted to go back to work but wasn't allowed.

"Right so where does Hazel live?" Tom asked.

"Around the corner from the Nursery at Holby Court, number 27" I tell him looking at my phone. "Should I phone her I told her we would be there just after 6 and its nearly 20 past 6 already"

"It will be fine, we are going to be a little longer than expected but don't worry I know where Holby Court used to liver there when I was a kid, most likely know Hazel and if she is the Hazel I'm thinking off she has a younger brother closer to our age who is called Samuel" Tom says starting up the car.

"What do you mean closer to our age I thought Hazel was our age?" I question.

"Hazel is 35 give or take a few years if this is the same one I'm thinking off she used to watch me and Samuel when our parents went out for meals being 5 years older than us" Tom explains.

"I wonder if she will recognize you if it is her" I say turning and looking out the window.

Tom puts on the radio and they are playing All The Small Things by Blink 182.

"Say it ain't so, I will not go, turn the lights off, carry me home  
Keep your head still, I'll be your thrill, the night will go on, my little windmill. Na, Na, Na, Na" Tom sings along. I turn around and shake my head at him but soon enough we were both singing along without a car in the world. They then started to play some really old song that neither me nor Tom knew so it must have been old… don't tell him I said that! But it was lucky we had arrived at Hazel's I guess as we got out of the car and went and knocked on the door.

"Tom is that you?" Ben asked as he opened the door.

"It sure is Benny Boy" Tom said leaning in for a man hug.

"Umm guys… can we go in now?" I butted in.

"God Sam ruin the moment" Tom joke slapping me on the bum. I just rolled my eyes at him and walked in leaving them on the door step.

"Mummy" Amelia Shouted running up to me and giving me a hug.

"Hey Millie" I picked her up and hugged her "Hope you don't mind me inviting myself in its just Tom and Ben seem to be having a bit of a moment on the door step something about it being years since they last saw each other and they need to have a catch up over a pint, I got bored of listening" I told Hazel.

"No it's fine. Is Tom last name Kent?" Hazel asked.

"Yes it is, Why?" I replied putting Amelia down and she and Ellie ran off. I went to sit by Hazel on the sofa.

"Well I believe he may be the very same Tom Kent I used to look after and Ben used to muck about with as we all grow up here" Hazel said smiling.

"He did mention something like that he said he used to play with Samuel all the time and you looked after them both" I tell her.

"Yes that's right Samuels my younger brother he's Tom's age in fact their birthdays are only a few days apart Samuel is the older one by 3 days." Hazel says.

"Couldn't imagine Tom being the baby of the group but I guess he was" I say giggling and then Tom and Ben walk in.

"What you laughing about eh" Tom asks coming over and kissing me.

"Nothing, You seen Amelia yet?" I ask quickly changing the subject.

"No I haven't, you?" Tom replies.

"Yes, she came and gave me a hug and then ran off with Ellie" I say taking Toms and playing with his fingers.

"Well I don't know about you two but I'm dying for a Coffee" Hazel says.

"Coffee would be great" Tom replied pulling me closer to him.

"Well that settles it off you go Ben oh and Tom you too go make us girls some Coffee" Hazel said and she gets a horrible look off both of them.

"Alright Please" Hazel adds and Ben gets up.

"Want it Black or not" Tom askes kissing my fore head standing up.

"Better not have it black or I will be up all night" I tell him and he walks off.

"Look at you two all loved up" Hazel jokes. "It won't stay that way trust me" I just hit her with a pillow. And she laughs.

"What did they have for dinner then?" I ask.

"Well I wasn't sure what Amelia liked and I figured Pizza is a good choice as most kids like it so I had them both make their own mini pizza and Amelia put ham and pineapple on hers, hope you don't mind that I fed her junk" Hazel replied.

"Umm Sorry about that I really should of mentioned but Pizza is fine and it's not junk as they were homemade" I said.

"Well that's alright then" Hazel said laughing at hitting me with the pillow.

"Coffee has arrived" Ben said walking into the room with two cups of coffee shortly followed by Tom who also had two cups.

Ben went and sat over by Hazel and Tom came and sat by my pulling me close again and playing with my hair, Hazel, Ben and Tom where busy talking about old childhood memories and I enjoyed listening to them I must add as it was good fun to know what crap they used to get up too but the police never came into it I remember me and Lauren and our mates used to get into trouble with the police all the time but always for stupid things that they could never put on our records.

Amelia and Ellie came back into the room and Ellie asked if Amelia had to go home or if she could stay we told her that she could stay for another hour and maybe at the weekend we could see about her staying overnight. My phone started to ring so I went off into the garden to open it.

"Hey, Daddy" I said picking up the phone.

"Hey, Sammy just wondering how you are" He replied.

"I'm fine, thanks" I said.

"Are you sure because after before you were a right mess Sammy I was scared you were going to do something stupid" he said sounding relived.

"I over that and besides I went to visit mum at St James and she told me all about what happened and how it ended up how it did she told me all about old happy memories before she changed but it was really helpful and I haven't forgiver her It just helped me to understand and get closure" I said, waiting to be shouted at.

"You did what, I thought you didn't need her in your life Sammy, look at what happened today, where you out of your mind!" He shouted down the phone.

"But I needed closure Daddy I needed to know" I try to convince him.

"Just tell me you didn't go alone" He says I can hear the anger in his voice.

"I didn't, Tess went with me she understood me when I said I needed to know, now if you don't mind I'm actually having a nice time at a friend's house with Tom and Amelia and if you're just going to be in a stressy with me I don't really want to stay on the phone" I said with a bit of anger in my voice.

"Sammy go and enjoy your evening but I want to talk to you tomorrow, Lauren's already phoned here looking for you so be warned" He says.

"Bye Daddy, I love you" I say.

"Bye Sammy, I Love you too even though you make me angry" He replied and hung up.

While I was out here I decided to quickly phone Lauren and explain to her what happened once I was off the phone I headed back inside and cuddled up with Tom for 20 minutes or so with baby Logan and then when Ellie and Amelia came back in they both looked so drained and tired so we thought It would be a good time to go, Ben took Logan from me and gently rocked him. While Hazel went and got Amelia's things for her.

"Sorry about her jacket I didn't realize she had one and it was only after we got here and I was taking Ellie's off I asked if she had one and she told me she did, so sorry but its kinda of still in the nursery" Hazel said passing me her lunch box, Tom was holding Amelia as she was half asleep.

"Its fine don't worry about it, Thanks again for having her anytime you need us to look after Ellie if we are available to do so we will" I say.

"It was my pleasure she is a lovely little girl and the same goes for you guys if ever you need her to be picked up I will happily have her for the evening" Hazel said.

We said our goodbyes and left.


	60. Chapter 60

**_AN - I hope you got the results you wanted from your A Levels if any of you took any. I know its late but please enjoy ;)_**

By the time we had got back Amelia was fast asleep so I let Tom get her up to bed and I went to pour us a glass of wine each but one glass soon led to another and then another and before we knew it we had drank the whole bottle and where both feeling kind of tipsy.

"So what do you to do now Dr Nicholls" Tom said leaning in to me and playing with my hair.

"I don't know. What do you want to do Dr Kent" I say flirting with him.

"I have something in mind" Tom says pulling me into him and we start kissing each other like a pair of teenagers. Our heads moving in perfect sync. Tom moves his hands down my body until he is messaging my bum and grabbing me it lots of different places. I'm running my fingers through his hair when he moves back for air which is lucky because I need some to.

"Well Dr Nicholls why don't we go take this upstairs" Tom says picking me up and kissing me and he stumbles up the stairs and we are both laughing.

"Shh or you will wake Amelia" I say playfully smacking him.

"Says you" Tom laughs dropping me onto our bed and leaning in for a kiss again he starts to take off my clothes so I repay the favour and undress him and let's just say what happened after that is not to be spoken about as it was very heated.

The sunlight shining through the curtains straight into my eyes is enough to wake me up and it takes a while to figure out why my head is banging and mine and Tom's clothes are thrown all over then room but then I remember what happened last night I can't help but smile at how amazing it was. It was electric, magical, passionate and well just had the same thrill as when your teenagers and you go and park the car in the middle of nowhere and have a bit of fun. I rolled over so I was facing Tom and I started to play with his hair trying to wake him, he starts to stir.

"Morning beautiful" Tom says placing a kiss on my lips.

"Morning" I say giving him one too.

"Last night was amazing and well worth the wait" Tom says winking and wrapping his arms around me.

"Well glad you think so Dr Kent" I say placing another kiss on his lips and then slowly getting out of bed. I stretch not really caring about the fact that I'm naked I start to do a few yoga moves as stretches just to wind up Tom. I notice he is watching so I grab my dressing gown and wrap it around my body and walk out of the room to go and have a shower.

"Sammy" Tom calls.

"What Babe" I called back.

"Let me have the first shower I need to get ready for work" Tom wined like a little kid so I replied in the same manor.

"Well I need to get Amelia up and ready for nursery"

I got into the bathroom and lent into the shower to turn the taps on to let the water warm up.

"Boo" Tom say sneaking up behind me and touching my hips I jumped out of my skin not knowing it was him.

"Don't do that" I said turning around and playfully slapping him.

I take of my dressing gown and jump into the shower, shortly followed by Tom he's lucky we have a big enough shower.

"I said I was having the first shower" I said tracing my fingers along his muscles.

"Well it seems to me as if we are sharing it" Tom says grabbing my bum, I smack his hands away.

"Behave or we will wake Millie"

"Well I'm surprised we didn't wake her last night as we were both slightly out of it and making a lot of noise, I think a new bed might be in order if this is going to become a regular think" Tom says winking and kissing me. I just roll my eyes.

"Well please feel free to splash the cash, I've been telling you since I met you that you need a new bed" I tell him.

"Well no we have a reason" Tom says. I just roll my eyes again and wash myself and my hair and get out of the shower.

"I see how it is" Tom says as I walk out.

I went to sort out my hair and get dressed it was a nice sunny autumn day but that be far meant it was going to be warm so I decided on my Navy converse tracksuit with my white converse top underneath this was because I decided that after I have dropped Amelia I am going to go for a run and then go and watch some DVD's. I got my tracksuit bottoms on and my t-shirt then dried my hair and put it in to a messy bun I don't really care as I am on cloud nine after last night.

"Lazy day for you" Tom asked cheekily after walking into our room.

"Why not I have nothing else to do and I'll have you know I'm going to go for a run and then to the shops as we are running low in the kitchen" I reply getting up off the floor where I was doing my hair I placed my hoodie on the bed and left to go and get Amelia ready. This didn't take too long as we decided she could just wear the second outfit we got out yesterday, as soon as she was dressed I put her hair up in a ballet bun, we then head off downstairs.

"Mille what do you want for breakfast" I ask her walking out towards the kitchen.

"How about pancakes?" Tom says as I walk into the kitchen. I just smile and give him a hug.

"Only if there is strawberries and nothing majorly sticky as Amelia is wearing a knitted jumper" I say to Tom and then call out to Millie "Did you hear what Daddy said" but instead of getting an answer while I went to sort out her lunch she just came into the kitchen.

"Yay Pancakes" She said jumping up and down on the spot.

"There's only 12 and I want some too so don't go scoffing them all you two" Tom says as he places the plate down.

"First come first served" I said taking a pancake from the top of the pile and placing it on my plate and putting one on Amelia but before she dug in I took off her jumper and but a towel over her trousers.

I had finished her lunch and we have finished the pancakes and Tom was cleaning up I had cleaned up Amelia and put her jumper back on and then went off to get my hoodie as I left it on the bed, we were going to be late today there was no chance we could walk there in 15 minutes.

"Babe if you're going to get your hoodie I brought it down and it's on the sofa also I'm already going to be late for work so 5 more minutes won't hurt I'll drop you at the school gates" Tom called out.

"Are you sure?" I replied.

"Of course now come on before I change my mind, now what shoes is little miss here wearing" Tom said taking Amelia to finish getting ready.

"The same ones she had on yesterday" I said running over and sitting on the bottom step putting on my white converses and my hoodie and just placing my purse, my keys and my phone in my pockets and picking up Amelia's lunch Tom was already in the car waiting with Amelia strapped in her seat.

"Why do you woman take so long" Tom muttered to himself but loud enough so I could hear it when I got into the car. I chose to ignore the comment and 10 minutes later we arrived at the nursery.

"Thank babe, see you later" I said leaning over and trying to kiss him on the cheek but he moves his head quickly so it turns into a full blown kiss. I pull back for air and give Tom a smile and the give him another quick peck before getting out of the car and walking around to Amelia's side and taking her out of her seat I placed her on the floor so I could close the door.

"Bye Daddy" Amelia said giving Tom a kiss on the cheek and Tom just smiled.

"Bye Mils, can you give this to Mummy" He said passing Amelia her lunch box.

I give him a smile and we shout bye as we head off into the nursery just in time as they are opening the doors. Amelia signs herself in and runs off to find Ellie. So I go off to talk to Lauren quickly.

"Hey Lauren" I say cheerily.

"Woah, who are you and what have you done with Sam" Lauren replies.

"Well I think you'd find that I am Sam" I say.

"Well I would disagree, coming out in clothes you would never dream in leaving the house in even if it was just to go to the shop and being happy in the morning" Lauren says jokingly.

"Well I think you would find that I happen to be floating on cloud nine" I say smiling.

"And why would that be?" Lauren askes.

"Well let's just say it involved Me, Tom and a very creaky bed" I say giggling away like a teenager.

"Sam you naughty girl" Lauren jokes "Phone me later I want to hear about it all"

"Lauren we are not teenagers anymore" I joke "Well anyway I'm off on a run, Cya"

Well I went off for a run and then down to the shops and it wasn't until after I had paid and packed all the bags that it clicked, how was I meant to get this stuff home, there was no chance I could carry it by me self so I decided the best cause of action would be to phone Dad.

"Hey Sammy, what's up?"

"I just went shopping a brought a lot and have no way of getting all the bags home, you couldn't come and drop me off home could you?" I ask "Pretty please"

"Well I'm about to go and assistant in theatre but I will get Charlie to come and get you, what shop are you at." Dad asked.

"Okay, thanks Daddy and I'm at Waitrose just around the corner from the ED actually" I say.

"Well Charlie's on his way now, I need to go Bye Sammy" Dad says.

"Bye Daddy, good luck in theatre" I said and hung up and just as expected Charlie arrived around 2 minutes later.

"Wow Sam you do have a lot of bags" Charlie said opening up his boot.

"I wasn't joking" I simply smiled and we put all the bags in the boot and Charlie drove me back to Tom's he helped to unpack all of the bags and put things away while we chatted just about everything and anything until he told me he would have to head off as his break was nearly over. After he left I decided to put on Forest Gump and I sat down with some fruit salad and started the movie.


	61. Chapter 61

_**AN - Thanks for all your reviews and I thought you would like that last chapter although this one is a lot different. - enjoy well maybe not too much as I even shed a tear by the end.**_

I hadn't realised but it was already 2:30 so I decided to turn off the TV and get ready to go and get Amelia. I want to go see Mum again but I don't know how it's going to work for a start Tom doesn't even know I went yesterday and I can't take Amelia with me but both Tom and Dad are working and I can't ask Hazel to have her again and Tom's mum is on holiday as we decided she could have a break so I guess I'm a bit stuck.

As I walk towards the nursery I wonder about Mum, how she is you know as she was quite bad yesterday and today could easily be her last but I don't want to think like that but as a doctor I understand her condition so I know what is likely to happen. I decide to ring in a check on her as I haven't since yesterday.

"Good Afternoon this is Staff Nurse Haddon from Cheyne ward how may I help you."

"Afternoon, it's Samantha Nicholls. I was wondering if I could get any information on my Mother's Condition" I ask.

"Dr Nicholls, of cause you can I will just go and find the doctor in charge of your Mothers care" Staff nurse Haddon told me and a few minutes later I was greeted by this

"Miss Nicholls, your mother is in a critical condition and we have not got much hope that she will last the night, I'm unsure if you are aware of this or not but last night she signed some forms to say that if she was to arrest we are not to resuscitate her but we believe that it is for the best after all your mother has been though"

"It's Dr Nicholls and I am well aware of the fact that she may not last the night and the forms it is her decision I cannot do anything about it now would you like to explain who you are maybe and a bit more in detail how my Mother is" I ask him in an angry tone.

"I'm sorry Miss Nicholls if I upset you. I am Dr Hurst and I'm in charge of your Mothers care here. I understand that you are upset but there is not much you can do for your mother as she has given up eating, drinking and won't talk to us we have her on various drips but she is also refusing to take medication." Dr Hurst explains

"It's Dr Nicholls and I understand that you seem uncable to understand that fact. I also understand that my Mother is giving up and I don't blame her she has been though a hell of a tough time, I don't want to lose her not now I am starting to talk to her again but I understand she has had enough of all the treatment and just wants to give up, Tell her I will be in to visit her in about an hour as I have some things to sort out first, Goodbye" I said hanging up the phone and walking into the nursery.

"Mummy" Amelia says running up to me.

"Hey, baby girl, sorry I'm a bit late" I said picking her up and balancing her on my hip.

"Miss Nicholls it would be nice if you remembered to pick up Amelia at the right time not 15 minutes later she was the last child here today" Miss Andrews says.

"It's DR Nicholls and well sorry if I was a bit preoccupied and a bit late at least…." I said before I was cut off by Lauren.

"Ahh Sam I was beginning to wonder if you were coming but then I had not had a phone call telling me some on else was picking up Amelia"

"Sorry I was on the phone to St. James checking in, I'm going to go and see her now as they recon it's not going to be long now" I explained.

"There's no need to defend yourself" Lauren explained. I smiled and went to collet Amelia's stuff.

"I'll see you tomorrow" I said to Lauren walking out of the nursery.

Me and Amelia walked hand in hand through the park to the ED, she was telling me all about her day today and she was also a bit upset that I left Uno behind so I explained what was going to happen.

"I know Millie but you are going to go home with Papa for now and Daddy will come and get you later on, but this means you can play with Coco instead and I know that I haven't spent much time with you lately but Mummy's been busy but I promise you that tomorrow after nursery we can go for an ice cream or any treat you fancy." I tell her as we arrive at the ED.

Walking through the ED I spotted Tom first but when I turned to tell Amelia she wasn't at my side so I looked around and then I noticed hugging Dad but by the look of the person face he was with that it was something important they were talking about, he picked up Amelia and starting to walk over to me. With the other man in toe still chatting about something.

"Sam, as much as I love seeing Amelia please can you wait for just on moment this is the doctor from St. James he has come to talk to me about your Mum" Nick says passing Amelia over to me.

"You must be Dr Hurst then" I say.

"Well I guess that makes you Miss Nicholls then." He replies.

"It's DR why can nobody get their heads around that" I shout and everyone turned to look at me and I just felt like backing away I hadn't meant to shout it but there you go.

"Well I'm sorry Miss Nicholls I will call you Dr from now on" Dr Hurst says. Tom comes out from the cubicle he was in.

"Babe is everything alright?" He asks walking over and giving me a hug.

"Daddy" Amelia shouts and near enough jumping off of me and on to him.

"I'm just a little stressed out and it doesn't help matters that everyone seems to refuse to use my proper title" I reply leaning back in to him.

"Hey, talk to me, what's worrying you" Tom says while rubbing my back in a comforting way.

"Too much and I would rather do it in private and you why are you here if you are meant to be looking after my Mum" I said moving closer to Dr Hurst.

"Look I assure you I left her in the cable hands of some of my Nurses and as you know she is refusing treatment so there is not much I can do for her" He replies.

"What did he mean when he said 'as you know'" Tom questioned.

"I went to see her yesterday at St. James I wasn't really with Dixie and Jeff I got them to lie for me to cover my back as I know you wouldn't be happy with my decision to go and visit her Tom but I needed closure I needed to understand it I would not of been able to carry on knowing that I could of found out why but decided not to bother. I know it sound stupid but it's the truth, I'm sorry I lied to you Tom" I said with tears falling down my face.

"It's not stupid and I understand I did the same when my dad was I'll but unfortunately he could not give me a reason why as he didn't know his self why he used to abuse me I believe he was just a monster and I am glad he is behind bars now. I hope you got an answer from your Mum I really do" Tom said placing Amelia down and pulling me into a hug. I was now crying, I knew that Tom's dad used to hurt him but I never knew that he doesn't know why he did it.

"Right why don't we all go and short this out in my office" Dad says pointing the way.

"I was going to go see her now before she leaves us, so I had brought in Amelia hoping that you would be able to finish early and look after her for me Dad but I guess not. I still want to go in and see her but you and Tom both seem busy so there is no one to look after Amelia." I say taking my usual seat on his desk

"My shift is finished actually so I could watch her for you and give her some dinner as well" Dad said.

"Really? Thanks Dad but I plan on staying with her until it happens and I don't know how long that will take" I explain.

"We at St. James estimate that she has a couple of hours left 5 at the most which is why I came down here to tell your father" Dr Hurst buts in.

"Amelia how do you feel about having a sleep over with me and I will drop you to nursery in the morning and then Mummy will pick you up after you have finished." Dad asks Amelia.

"Okay Papa but what about Uno he is still at home" Amelia says.

"Well we can go and get Uno before we go back to my house, Tom did you drive today?" Dad asks.

"Yes, why?" Tom replies.

"So I can have her Car seat" Dad says simply and Tom nods.

"Dr Hurst you don't mind giving Dr Nicholls a lift to St. James do you?" Dad questions i raise my eyebrows at him. "Or unless you would like to walk there in the rain, it's up to you Samantha" I just roll my eyes and nod.

"Of course I will take her with me" Dr Hurst says. We all walk out into the car park.

"see you later then babe, do you want to me wait up for you?" Tom asks.

"No thanks, I'll try not to make much noise on my way in" I replied.

"AS long as you are sure" Tom says pulling me in to a hug, I nod and pull his head down and give him a kiss. I walk over to Dad's car where Amelia is sat in out of the rain. I give her a hug and a kiss.

"See you tomorrow after nursery; remember you are going to need to help Papa pick you some clothes for tomorrow" I said ruffling her hair.

"Thanks Daddy, I love you" I said getting into Dr Hurst car, Tom waved and went off back to work.

"I love you too Sammy" Dad replied and we drove off our separate ways.

The drive was really awkward but then again I really do not like this DR once arriving at St. James I got out of the car and headed on up to the ward my mum is on and signed in and then went over to her bed.

"I'm here Mum and I'm not going anywhere" I told her taking her hand.

"Thank you Samantha for everything, if you see Jack again tell him I'm sorry and that I love him. I love you both very much but it is too hard to carry on" Mum croaks and we sit there with tears in our eyes and holding hands. She starts to find it hard to breathe, we had been sat like this for a good 5 hours now and it was 8 o'clock but she still had some fight left in her.

"I'm proud of you both I truly am and I Love you, I'm so sorry please remember that" She croaked in-between breaths and on her last one she finished that sentence. It was 8:23pm when she took her last breath the nurse in the room at the time had declared it she then left me to spend some time alone with her before they came and prepared her for the morgue.

"I love you too Mum" I said with tears in my eyes, she was gone I sat there holding her hand for another half an hour before he hand start to go cold and I could not hold it any longer.

"Dr Nicholls we need to prepare her body for the morgue now, I am so sorry for you loss you are welcome to stay with her while we do so" One of the Nurse came in and said I Just simply nodded and watched from a distance. It was now coming up to 9:30 and I still had to walk home which would take about 45 minutes so after then had removed her body from the room I signed out and started the long journey home the whole time thinking about Mum I decided to phone Tom unsure on whether he was awake or not but to tell him I was going to go back home tonight instead and Tom agreed with me and he Told me he loved me and then hung up. So I arrived back home and went to find Dad who was on the sofa, he looked at me and asked.

"Has it happened" I simply nodded and then started to cry, he came over and gave me a hug and we stayed like this until I eventually went to bed to only find Amelia sound asleep in my bed so I got out my diary I keep for Jack and wrote about the past few days before falling asleep next to Amelia.


	62. Chapter 62

_**An - Warning I cried when writing this, I don't know anything about how funeral planning works or have ever read a will so srry if it is all wrong - enjoy :)**_

I'm half asleep but the sudden sound of the front door slamming was enough to wake me up, I quickly jumped out of bed and ran door the stairs as quick as I could calling out for Amelia.

"Relax Sammy. It's just me i have just dropped Amelia off at nursery" Dad says taking hold of my shoulders. "I have taken the day off to be with you and in case you would like to sort out funeral arrangements I know it's not even been 24 hours yet and its horrible to say this but the sooner it is out of the way the better" I just nod simply and then walk off into the kitchen to make some coffee as I didn't sleep at all well last night but to tell you the truth all I want is Jack to just sit here and hold me while we talk to dad and just try to remember mum I know it won't be easy because of all the bad images I have of her but I just hope Dad has some photos of her and us before she became ill.

"Samantha, please talk to me you can't bottle it up like this, I want to help you" Dad said coming in to the kitchen.

"There's nothing to say, Mum's gone and I actually seem to miss her and for reason I can't explain it hurts when I think about her and I spent most of the night doing such thing and I think it's harder because I can't explain why I feel like this" I say and going to pour the boiling water in the cup but because I'm so distracted I missed and poured it all over the top. I placed the kettle down and just ran off.

(Nick's POV)

I need to find out what it is that Sam is bottling away but she is too proud to let anyone into her life and this is the same as it has always been. I know her mum has just died and to tell you the truth I cried and thought about her for most of the night I know I'm with Zoe now but no one will ever match up to Melissa we had so many plans together but they were put on standby by the birth of our handsome son and then our beautiful daughter. Not once did she ever get angry with Jack or Sam and I must say they used to wind her up big time when I was at work because instead of taking out on them she would just wine to me about it at the end of the day but because of her childhood she wanted to be the best parent she could and she was she tried so hard with them and loved them with all her heart but when her mother died unexpectedly she was unable to move on as her mum used to abuse her and she never got answers on why she did it and the guilt of not knowing and thinking it was her fault ate her up inside until one day she hit the alcohol and she was fine for the first few months only drinking late at night after they had gone to bed and keeping it away from them but one day it all changed a complete roles reversal and none us of knew how it came along but Jack was looking after Sam who was looking After Melissa. I do miss Melissa and most probably always will she was the love of my life and my children's mother and no matter what happened she always loved them and you could see it in her eyes and that was enough for me.

I guess I should go check on Sam but I don't want to push her for an answer or anything she needs time to think more than anything else in the world she needs to know I'm here for her and that she can have as long as she needs.

"Morning, Green Willows Funeral care how may we help you."

"Morning, My ex-wife past away last night and I'm phoning on the behalf of my daughter. She would like to arrange a cremation" I said.

"We are sorry for you loss sir. There are many different options when it comes to cremation, was this discussed with the deceased beforehand or is there her wishes left in her will" The lady asked.

"As far as I'm aware she does not have a will and the plans where never discussed" I explain.

"Right well sir we can contact the hospital as her place of rest who may have her will and if not we can send some people around to her house to have a look unless you or your daughter feel that you can go, I am going to need some details so we can track down the will and if one is not found we shall discuss our options at a later date"

"I understand, If you send someone around it will probably be for the best I will have a chat to my daughter once she wakes up. What details are you going to require?" I ask.

"We need the name of the deceased and her address and also the hospital where she is and I will also need your name, number and address."

"Melissa Nicholls, 15 Jubilee Terrace and she is at St. James hospital. My name is Dr Nicholas Jordan, 4 Clifton Road my number is 07479 437619 but you may find it easier phoning Holby city ED and asking for me" I say.

"Thank You Dr Jordan we have made note of this and will be in contact soon"

"Thank you" I reply and hang up, I go and make a fresh cup of tea and walk up stairs to check on Sam.

I knock on her door and walk in; she is sat on her bed looking at an old photo album of when we visited the seaside. You can see her face is tearstained but she is also smiling.

"Thought you might like a drink" I say passing her over the cup of tea and taken a place on her bed.

"Thanks Daddy" She said taking it off me and taking a sip "Why didn't you tell me about mum" She asks.

"What about her?" I question.

"Thank she was abused by her mum" Sam says simply turning away from me.

"Because me and your mother both agreed it was best you and Jack never knew as there was no telling what would happen in the future she may have got better but I guess now we will never know" I explain. Sam just nodded so I gave her a hug from the side and started to look at the photos they were of Her, Jack and Melissa I wasn't in many of them as I took most of the photo's but there were a few where we would all be together.

"I'm Sorry, Please remember that" Sam says.

"What do you mean Sammy?" I ask.

"They were her last words, she told me she was proud of me and she loved me but the last think she said was sorry, she also ask me to tell Jack that she loves him and is proud of him as well" Sam explained.

"Sammy, she always was proud of you too and she always loved you both no matter what she did or said I could always see the pain in her eyes afterwards" I told her then my phone started to ring.

"Hello" I say.

"Dr Jordan we have found Melissa's will would you like to come in a go through it with us or shall we send it to you" The lady from before asks.

"I think we will come in and have a look me and my Daughter" I say.

"We trust you know where to find us"

"Yes we will be over as soon as possible, Thank you" I say and hang up.

"Who was that?" Sam asks.

"I phoned a funeral directory to see roughly how long the process would take and they told me until they had your mum's will nothing could be sorted out, they have found it now and have asked us to go in and have a read of it" I explain.

"I see, I think I know what she would like" Sam says standing up and getting her hoodie.

"And what is that?" I ask.

"To have her ashes scatted from the cliffs at the bay" Sam says with a smile.

"I think you are quite right" I say taking her in for a hug.

We went and got ready and then made our way down the road to the funeral home.

"Afternoon, I'm Mr Jordan and this is my daughter Samantha we have come to look over Melissa's will" I tell the lady behind the desk.

"Ahh yes I was just on the phone to you, would you take a seat in the office behind me and I will just ring through the advisor who will come and go through Melissa's will with you." She says gesturing to the office. I nod and guide Sam through to the room. We are only sat alone for a few minutes when a short smartly dressed man comes in carrying a brown envelope. He takes a seat on the other side of the desk.

"I believe you are Mr Jordan and daughter Samantha and you are here to view Melissa's view" The man asks.

"That is correct" I tell him.

"Very well sir, but have you any formal ID on you" he asks.

I take out my doctors ID and show it to him. He nods "And you Samantha?"

Sam also pulls out her doctors ID and shows it to him. He nods.

"Here is her will, I will leave you too to have a read through first and then I will be back in to discuss options" He says placing the envelope down and getting up.

"Thank you" I say as he walks out.

I open the envelope and we both began to read it and we both have tears in our eyes.

'I know I haven't got all the money in the world but I know there is still enough to make a difference and I hope this will make all the difference. I want to donate my remaining money to help the hero's in the hope that they will one day find my son.

It must seem selfish that I am giving all of my money to the charity but after having the best chat with my daughter tonight I came to the conclusion the best gift would be to have her big brother back. I don't have many things at home either but Samantha feel free to go through them and do what you would like, keep some, sell some. I do not mind.

I never said this often enough so here it is I Love both of my children so much and I never watched over you much when I was around so I promise I will do a better job now that I am gone.'

It had a small sentence at the bottom from Dr Hurst explain that she ask him to write this down as her dying wish and signed by Melissa and Dr Hurst.

I can see that Sam was crying but she was also smiling and I know it's to do with helping to find jack and I also feel very impressed with her decision, we sit in silence for a while and wait for the man to come and discuss options.


	63. Chapter 63

**_AN - Last nights casualty was great although they should get Tom more involved with Sam's maternal side :) Thanks for the reviews and feel free to PM if you have any ideas -Enjoy_**

"Have you read through the will?" the man asks coming back into the room. Me and Dad both nod.

"Very well, we have not looked yet so is there any funeral preferences that Melissa has made?" He asks.

"No, just about her inheritance but my Daughter has an idea that Melissa would of loved" Dad says.

"What is that as we can organise it" He asks.

"Well when me and my Brother where younger Mum and Dad would take us to 3 cliff bay all the time and we would spend weekends camping out there and what not so I was thinking maybe we could scatter her ashes off of one of the cliff's" I explained .

"That is a lovely idea. What about the service"

"There isn't really anyone out there for my mum so I was wondering if we could get her cremated and then just head up to the cliffs and say a few words about her as we scatter the ash" I said.

"I understand and I will see what we can do"

"Thank you" I said and got up.

"It was nice meeting with you" Dad said and shock his hand.

"We will be in contact with you soon" The man said as we left the office and started to walk up to Amelia's nursery as it was 2:15 it would only take about 20 minutes to walk there but there wasn't much else we could do in that time.

We had walk most of the way when Dad finally decided to talk.

"Are you going to go to her house and have a look, because if you are you going to need to be quick as the council will be around there soon" He says.

"I will, I was going to drop Amelia off with Tom as he finishes at 4 today and then go round" I say.

"I can take Amelia if you like and then Tom can come back to mine and we will get dinner ready for you" Dad says.

"That sounds like a great plan let me just phone Tom" I say smiling and we carry on walking. I take out my phone.

"Hey babe what's up" Tom asks.

"Hey Tom, nothing much it's just I'm going to go to my mum's and go through her stuff after before the council get to it so Dads going to take Amelia back to his so if you go down there I will be back just after 6 I would guess so we can sit down and have dinner together" I explain.

"Alright, that sounds like a great plan I will go home first and get Amelia a change of clothes and for me, do you want some or will you just make do with what you got at your dad's as I can this will end up in us staying over" Tom says.

"Cheeky git, just because I like spending time at home. Anyway I spend more time at yours now also Dad says can you find Zoe and ask her if she wants to come round and I will just make do I think, not going to trust your fashion sense." I tell him giggling.

"What was I just heard Samantha Laughing" Tom said shocked.

"Shut up you, now just get back to work and find Zoe tell her to Text Dad the answer as he is going to take Amelia shopping" I said.

"Sure thing Babe, Love you" Tom said.

"I love you too" I said hanging up and putting my phone back in my pocket.

"If you take Amelia off as I need to talk to Lauren I never got round to phoning her last night" I said. Dad nodded.

We got to the nursery and I noticed Hazel.

"Hey, Hazel" I said.

"Hey, Sam"

"Look this weekend isn't going to happen I'm sorry but something's popped up and I really don't feel like going out" I tell Hazel.

"It's alright it can wait, whatever it is I hope you feel better soon" Hazel replies but then Dad buts in.

"It's not alright, Sam go out with Tom and Amelia and have some fun, Tom has Saturday off If I remember rightly so go on out and take you mind off of thinks"

"Dad what if they phone and arrange it and I'm not there" I say.

"Don't worry I'll sort it all out now Hazel isn't it" Dad ask and Hazel nods "You come to 4 Clifton road tomorrow around 10 o'clock I am sure Sam and Tom will be ready with Amelia… if that's alright with you" Dad says.

"Sure that's fine with me, is Clifton road the one not far from central park?" Hazel asks.

"That's the one, so its settled you lot are going off out tomorrow and Sam please just have fun take your mind off of things."

"Hazel any idea on where we all go?" I ask.

"We can take them to the cinema and then the pizza express for a treat as it is Ben's birthday tomorrow, mum can watch Logan while we are at the cinema and then meet us at pizza hut after wards Ellie's been going on about watching the Smurfs 2, if this is all right with you I mean I don't want to be making plans for you" Hazel says.

"Sounds perfect I told Amelia I would take her to the Cinema as I haven't been spending much time with her recently even though I'm not at work because my boss won't let me even though I'm fine" I said loud enough so dad can here.

"That's because its standard practice Sammy and you know that you need to have at least 6 weeks off, I'm not picking on you it's the same for everyone and I'm on shift tomorrow night so will you be coming back to mine or going to Tom's" Dad asks.

"Tom's so you don't have to worry about me being alone" I said and Hazel just laughed.

"Are you two always like this?"

"Yep, it's hard not to be considering everywhere I go I see him" I say.

"You chose to come home and work for me you could still be out in Afghanistan but you chose to come back I didn't make you but I am so much happier that you are back in Holby then out there" He says.

"You used to be in Afghanistan what where you doing out there, there's a war going on" Hazel questioned.

"I used to be an Army Medic for the fallen soldiers and to tell you the truth as much as I loved it I am so happy I came back to Holby otherwise I would most probably never met Tom and I couldn't think of my life being any other way now" I said just then the doors get open and all the other parents rush in a we just stand back.

"I think we are going to have to go for a drink some time to get to know one another just a little bit better" Hazel joked.

"You know most of my life I told you it at the beginning of the week I just chose to leave my old job out of the equation" I said laughing she just pushed me through the doors.

"Sam I need to talk to you" Lauren said as soon as she noticed me.

"What is it Lauren" I asked.

"Amelia, she was having difficulty breathing about 15 minutes ago but we gave her, her inhaler and followed Toms instructions and she seems to be much better now but I just want you to give her the once over to put my mind at rest" Lauren said in a panic.

"I'll be right there, Dad go with Lauren I'm just going to say bye to Hazel" I tell him and he follows Lauren.

"Hazel, I need to go but I will see you tomorrow" I told her.

"Is everything alright with Amelia, Ellie said she started to sound funny then the teachers took her off into the other room, she seems worried about her" Hazel explained.

"She had a small asthma attack by the sounds of thinks but Lauren got to her soon enough and sorted it out and Lauren says she if fine now but I'm going to check her over, you can bring Ellie to see her if you like I'm sure it will help if she talks to Amelia and to show her that Amelia can answer her." I said Hazel nodded and picked up Ellie.

"Millie" I say walking into the room.

"Mummy" She says getting up and coming over to me.

"Hey baby girl you okay, you gave poor Ellie and Lauren a scare, I going to check you over to see if you are alright" I told her placing her back down.

"Papa already did and he says I'm fine" Amelia said confused.

"Well that's alright then, do you want to give Ellie a hug" I ask. Hazel puts Ellie down and They have a hug and all you hear is Amelia say.

"It's okay, it used to happen all the time but I'm getting better now and Daddy and Mummy are both doctors and Papa so they all look after me"

"Aww that's so sweet" Hazel said then looks over to Ellie "Look babe we need to go as Daddy and Logan are waiting outside and we are going to see Granny and Grandpa"

"Okay, Bye Amelia" Ellie says.

"Bye Ellie" Amelia replied and waved, Hazel winked at me and she took Ellie off.

"Right Millie, Mummy has to go and sort something out quickly so you are going to go shopping with Papa and then go back to his house, Daddy is going to meet you at Papa's and then once I'm finished I will come around too and we are going to have dinner together okay" I tell her.

"But shopping is boring can't I come with you" Amelia asked.

"Not this time sorry baby girl but what if I told you that papa can get you a treat from the shop is it still boring?" I ask.

Amelia shrugged her shoulders.

"Right well I need to have a chat with Lauren so you need to go with Papa and I will come and see you after at papas house okay" Amelia nodded and took Dads hand.

"Right I start cooking around 6ish so try not to take too long but don't rush yourself as you can always go back another time" Dad said leaving with Amelia.

"Lauren, it happened" I said.

"I know I'm sorry I did my best for her" Lauren said.

"Not that Lauren, Mum she's gone, last night" I told her.

"Oh Sammy, I'm sorry I didn't know you meant that" Lauren said pulling me into a hug which wasn't easy with her big bump in the way.

"Thanks, Lauren. I'm going to go down and look though her things as she told me to take whatever I wanted and to sell the rest, she also wrote in her will she wants all her money to go to help the hero's to help find Jack and she mentioned that it may sound selfish but she came to the conclusion that no amount of money would ease the pain of Jack not being around so she is trying to give me the best gift possible by helping the charities who help look for lost soldiers" I say with a tear in my eye.

"That's great, at least she is trying even though she may be gone now it doesn't mean she isn't going to look out for you two anymore" Lauren said. I smiled.

"I know well I better get going as I need to walk down to hers and its quite a walk from here but I will phone you later if I get the chance to, thank you for helping Amelia, I'm glad it was you and not one of the others" I said, Lauren just laughed and we said good bye so I set off to walk to mums house.

After arriving and being at mums house for nearly an hour and a half I had looked at loads of old photos of us 4 together of me and Jack from school, I had found a box and put all of the photos into it as I was going to take them home and have a proper look through I also found some of her perfume and once I sprayed a bit I could remember her and what it felt like to have a hug from her as she always used it up until the drinking took over so I placed it in the box along with some of the pieces of jewelry I remember her wearing and along with a jumper or two of hers and some old trinket boxes I noticed it had just gone six so I decided to pick up the box and then take it down the stairs to her living room where there was some more photos so we out really looking at them I picked them up and put them in the box before locking the door and heading back to Dads. I will go back on Sunday because the council are starting on Monday.


	64. Chapter 64

**_AN - sorry for not updating yesterday but I have been having a pretty shit time recently but i hope this makes up for it - enjoy;)_**

I had been back an hour or so and the wine was already flowing. Zoe was becoming a little tipsy already!

"Right guys go sit at the table I'm going to serve up" Nick says.

"Do you want some help" Tom asks.

"That would be great" Nick said and they both walked off to the kitchen. Me and Zoe got up and Amelia followed us into the other room to sit at the table unsure on where we were sitting I took a place next to Zoe and Amelia sat opposite me as Tom could sit on the end in the middle.

(Tom's POV)

"Nick"

"Yes Tom"

"Me, You and Sam are going to need time off in December, Just a day and then you can go back to work but we all need the same day off so if you could get cover for say Christmas Eve? That would be great" I say.

"Ummm Tom what are you planning" Nick asks.

"Well, I'm planning on taking Sam and Amelia to the Zoo at Whipsnade again and my mum was going to tag along so I thought maybe you might want to as well especially as I'm planning to purpose to Sam as well, if that's alright with you" I explain.

"Oh Tom that's wonderful news and of course I will get us the time off and also Christmas day as you are going to come here and have Christmas dinner and your Mum can come as well and you got any siblings, Sam never mention but they can come to the more the merrier" Nick says.

"Thank you so much Nick and off course Christmas round your place sounds wonderful but on one condition you change that unused office of yours into a room for Amelia as it is really awkward trying to sleep with her in the room and I have a brother his name Daniel, he moved up to London to be a lawyer but when I phone him at the weekend I will invite him down, he is married and has 2 kids by the way" I say.

"Of cause if you help and like I said Tom the more the merrier, now let's get this food out there before they bite our heads off" Nick jokes picking up the plates with the chicken on and the bowl of mixed veg and I took the bowl of roast potatoes and the stuffing. Once that was on the table we went back I took the gravy and nick took the pigs in blankets and a new bottle of wine.

(End Of POV)

"Gosh guys what took you so long all you did was put food on some plates" I said as Tom and Nick came and sat down.

"You don't understand our presentation then Sammy?" Dad said.

"What presentation all you did was throw some veg into a bowl and put a chicken on a plate" I said, Tom just Laughed.

"Whatever Sammy now tuck in or I'm afraid we might lose Amelia to the world of sleep before she has eaten" Nick says as he pours himself and Zoe a new glass of wine the passes the bottle to me and I pour me and Tom one as Tom is putting some food onto Amelia's plate. We then fill our plates up and start eating the whole time chatting about work well I would say it was more gossiping I then turned to talk to Amelia as she was being awfully quite to notice that she had fallen asleep on the side of the table. I got up and went to carry her upstairs.

"I'll take her, I don't mind eating cold food." Tom said.

"No its fine I'm finished anyway, did you go and get her some Pj's?" I asked.

"Yes they are upstairs on your bed the same with the rest of the clothes" Tom smiled.

"Great, well I'll take her up and get her changed and I'll come back down and help tidy up" I smiled, slowly lifting her up and taking her upstairs.

Once I got up stairs I placed her down on my bed and started to get her changed she stirred a little but didn't wake so I placed her on the blow up mattress, tucked her in, gave her a kiss and went off back down stairs. They were all sat on the lounge, Tom on the floor and Zoe and nick on the sofa.

I went to the kitchen as there was a door that leads to the back of the living room from in there so I could sneak up on Tom. I went up behind him and placed my hand on his shoulder and he jumped out of his skin.

"Well I never had you as the scaredy cat type Dr Kent" I said putting my arms around his neck and he pulled me around so I was sat on him.

"How is she" Tom asked choosing to ignore my comment.

"Fine but we are going to have to go back to yours as your fashion sense is terrible even Dad chose a better outfit then you did" I said Laughing.

"We arnt going anywhere tomorrow so does it matter what she is wearing" Tom questioned.

"We are, we are going out with Hazel, Ben and Ellie" I told him.

"Since when"

"Since Dad thought it would be a great idea to organise it for us" I said leaning in a kissing him. "I would go back myself but I am not allowed to drive so I can't" I said putting on a sulking face.

"I'll take you alright just don't spend hours trying to choose what you are bringing" Tom joked leaning in a kissing me.

"Are you two love birds finished?" Nick questioned "I was going to suggested we played a bored game"

"That's sounds like a great idea Nick" Zoe said throwing herself at him.

"Well I recently got a new one called the Logo bored game" Dad explained.

"Sounds like great fun. Let Tom just run me back to his to get some clothes for tomorrow and if you and Zoe set it up we will be about 15 minutes" I said getting up and pulling Tom up.

"Alright but be careful Tom you had a bit of wine already but you should still be just under the limit" Dad said.

"We will be fine Dad I said dragging Tom out of the room.

When we got to Tom's he cut off the engine and unlocked the door for me as I was being lazy and couldn't be asked to get my keys out.

I went upstairs into Amelia's room I knew exactly what I wanted her to wear, A navy tunic which had a lace collar and the top half was lace and the bottom just normal material with a pair of Ochre yellow jeans and her Navy converses I also picked up her chunky cream cardigan as I wasn't sure what the weather was doing. I then went off into our room to see if there was anything I wanted to wear this wouldn't be as simple as choosing for Amelia.

So far I had pulled out a pair of skinny jeans and a cream fluffy jumper with a heart on, a pair of black skinny jeans and an oversized rose sweater which had GEEK across it in sequins, a navy sweater with tan sleeves and tan hearts on, a grey knitted jumper with a sequined deer on, a little black dress with lace sleeves, a floral dress and many other items which where sprawled all over the bed.

"Babe, you ready yet, your Dad's going to be doing his nut" Tom said walking into the room. "Sam I'm sure we are only going out for one day"

"I can't decide what to wear" I said.

"Well how about you wear that dress you wore the first time we went out together" Tom says.

"This one" I say pulling out a 2-in-1 navy and cream dress, it has a cream top half with navy buttons going do it and a navy collar and the skirt is navy.

"Yer that one" Tom says walking over and picking me up. He starts to kiss my neck I have been with him 6 months now but every time he does this I still get butterflies.

"Tom put me down" I said wriggling my legs.

"Alright, Alright" Tom said placing me on the bed. I looked up into his eyes and just jumped at him kissing him like there was no tomorrow, our heads moving in sync our bodies relaxing together neither of us was wearing much so it's no wonder that before we knew it we were rolling around in our underwear which lead to further things that I probably shouldn't mention but let's just say that it was great fun and just felt like heaven.

I was lying with Tom on the bed with most of my clothes thrown all over the place now when my phone starting ringing.

"Hey Daddy" I said innocently.

"Sam, Is everything alright it's been around an hour I thought you were just getting some clothes" Dad said.

"We will be back soon Daddy give us 4 minutes I promise" I said.

"Alright, see you soon then" Dad said hanging up.

I turned around and started to kiss Tom. "We have to go dad just phoned"

"Just one more minute to lie hear with you" Tom said rolling over so he was on top of me. I could feel myself getting excited again and I knew Tom would be as well so I wriggled out from under him and got dressed trying to make sure I had the same thing on. Tom just grumbled but got ready as well. I folded up the chosen clothes and placed them in a bag making sure to collect the converses as we left. We then got back to my Dads and we were both floating around cloud nine it was going to be so obvious what we did but I really hope it doesn't come up as I do not want to be having that conversation with my dad.

"I'm just going to take this upstairs and check on Amelia" I tell tom giving him a kiss.

"No snogging on the doorstep" Zoe shouts at us.

Tom pulls away and chuckles "Alright I'll go wait with them want another glass of wine?"

"Sure" I say walking off upstairs.

(Tom's POV)

Sam is amazing in bed I really don't know what she was scared about but I am not going to push her for anything as I don't want to ruin our relationship. I go off in to the living room and pour us both glass noticing that Nick and Zoe have finished yet another bottle and set up the game.

"You are glowing Tom, I bet I know what took you two so long just wait until Sam comes in she will be glowing as well" Zoe says.

"She has a point Tom a man only looks that happy after one thing" Nick adds.

"Okay this isn't going to happen I'm not talking to my girlfriend's father about our love life" I say.

"So it is true then" Nick says "I have nothing against it Tom its natural just treat her right please and never force her to"

"Of course and I would never force her to do anything she doesn't want to do besides I would have to say she starts it most of the time" I say and then notice Sam coming down the stairs and I shout Nick and Zoe a look as if to say don't say a word.

"Amelia is sound asleep" Sam says walking over they were right she is glowing. He then sits in-between my legs and leans back to kiss me.

"So my suspicious were true" Zoe says which causes Sam to pull away a blush "Don't worry I won't say anymore" Zoe says giggling like a teenager. Nick then picks up the first card.

"This is for you two" He says "Which brand of sausages shares its name with a borough of London?"

"Richmond" I say and Sam just nods.

"Correct" Nick says and passes us the cards.

"Which brand's famous logo was created by bookkeeper Frank Robinson in 1885 who thought that two C's would look good in advertising" Sam asked them I knew the answer so it's a shame it wasn't our question.

"Pepsi" Nick called out.

"Are you stupid or something two C's… Coca-Cola" Zoe replied.

"What's your finally answer" I asked.

"Coca-Cola" Nick replied.

"Correct and yes Zoe he is" Sam said. Nick throw her a look.

"Okay Sammy let's see how clever you are" Nick said picking up the next card "What does birds eye harvest 350 billion of each year"

"Peas" Sam says simply.

"Alright what about, What is the claim to fame of John Hewer and Thomas Pescod" Nick asks

"They have both played captain birdseye" Sam replied.

"Alright miss smarty pants" Nick said.

We had been playing the game for an hour or so and it was 10:30 and together we had gone through 4 bottles of red wine unlucky for Zoe and Nick they were both on the morning shift so we decided to call it a day on the wine drinking and I went with Nick to make everyone a cup of tea.

(End Of POV)

"What's Tom like in bed" Zoe asked.

"I thought you were going to drop it" I said.

"Is he no good then? I always fancied getting into his pants at the end of a long shift" Zoe said.

"What I didn't say that and you like 20 years older than us god Zoe" I said giggling.

"So he is good in bed then and I don't care he is still fit but then again so is Ash" Zoe said.

"He is Amazing in bed okay, there I said it the best I had if I'm to tell the truth" I said.

"Ooo Samantha you bad girl how many men have you slept with then" Zoe asked.

"Probably not half as many as you have" I said.

"Oi that hurt but its most likely true, come on spill the beans"

"I have slept with about 5 different men" I say.

"How have you only slept with 5 different men that makes me sound like a slag I've slept with about 20" Zoe said Laughing.

"Well for a start, I have slept with 2 mates when I was about 15 and one of them a couple of times until I got with my ex-husband and then while I was with him I had an affair and then with Tom and yes Tom has to have been the best but maybe that because I used to use protection all the time with the others and I haven't done once yet with Tom" I said, I wouldn't normally tell anyone this but I guess after all the wine who knows what you will be talking about.

"Ooo Samantha you naughty girl but at least you can remember who they were I have enough trouble trying to remember at least 2 of mine but then again I won't forgot 2 as its your dad and believe it or not he's quite good in bed" Zoe said.

"Ewww Zoe shut up I don't want to know about that" I said as Tom and Nick walked in and we both burst out laughing.

"What's so funny" Dad asks.

"Nothing" Me and Zoe say at the same time. We spend the rest of the night chatting and gossiping until about 1:00am when we decide to call it a night. Nick and Zoe went off upstairs first but we cuddled on the sofa and then started to kiss until things got rather heated again and we were both naked and rolling around again I was getting really excited this time and it was so hard not to make much noise as Amelia was asleep up stairs and Nick and Zoe well who knew what they were doing.

"Oh Tom you are just Amazing" I said moving so I was sat on his naked body and tracing his muscles with my fingers and he had taken pleasure in playing with my body.

"I think we should go upstairs and get cleaned off and then head to bed" Tom said. I nodded and we snuck upstairs trying not to make a sound as we were both still naked it was just like being teenagers again and trying to sneak your boyfriend/girlfriend home without your parents knowing.


	65. Chapter 65

**_AN - Sorry for the late update but please enjoy, things are slowly picking up around here but well tomorrow will be the decider :/_**

I woke up to the smell of freshly made coffee drifting through the house. I am quite surprised that after the amount we all drank last night that anyone is even awake yet I turn around and notice that it isn't Tom he is still flat out like a light, I Place a kiss on his forehead and head off down stairs.

"Morning Sammy would you like some Paracetamol me and Zoe have both taken some and there's a cup of coffee on the side if you would like it, it was mine but I can't drink it the smell is making me feel sick" Dad said and I just let out a giggle.

"I feel fine Dad not even a headache in fact I feel as if I'm on top of the world" I say smiling.

"What's got you in such a good mood" Dad said putting a hand to his head and signing. I was just about to answer when Zoe buts in.

"It might have something to do with Tom and there late night/early morning exercise, if you know what I mean" Zoe said winking towards Dad and he raised his eyebrows.

"What how did you know" I said to Zoe.

"Sam I didn't, I was only messing but you did no wonder you are still floating around without a care in the world" Zoe said shocked. Nick just stood there all to confused about what was going on.

"I can't believe you Zoe every time" I said shaking my head in a jokey way and turned and took the coffee up stairs. I placed it on the bed side by Tom and went to try ad wake Amelia up as she needs a shower before we go out.

"Wakey, Wakey Millie" I said gently shaking her shoulders and she starts to stir.

"Mummy" She says still half asleep.

"Yes Millie?" I ask. She rolls over and snuggles back into the blanket.

"Oh no you don't" I say going over and tickling her feet and she wakes up in no time.

Amelia just groans and then sits up.

"Well you can go back to bed and stay here by yourself or you can come out with me and Daddy as we are going to meet Hazel and Ellie the choice is yours" I said simply then getting up and taking a sip of the Coffee I left for Tom.

Amelia is soon up and climbing all over my bed.

"When are we going" She asked.

"Well first you need to have a shower and get dressed unless you want to have a bath it's up to you" I ask.

"Can I have a really bubbly bath please" Amelia asked.

"Sure, I'll go run it now, don't wake daddy up though" I said this knowing she would do the exact opposite a wake him up.

I walk back into my room and I can see Tom is sat up drinking the coffee and Amelia is mucking about with Uno and Coco.

"Morning Sleepy head need and Paracetamol my Dad was offering" I ask Tom.

"Morning Beautiful" Tom says pulling me in for a hug. "No I don't I feel as fit as a fiddle"

"Please don't ever use that expression again and well that's more then what they are feeling they are suffering like hell" I said turning around in Tom's arms so that I'm sitting on his lap. He starts to play with my hair.

"You know baby, you are Amazing in bed" Tom says whispering into my ear.

I just relax back into his grip.

"I know, everyone says that" I said getting up going to turn the taps off. On my way out Tom slaps my bum. I just shake my head.

"Come on Amelia" I tell her and she gets up and skips along the hall.

After bathing I have shorted out Amelia and she is dressed and ready to go with lose plats in her hair. I then go and get ready myself while Tom is downstairs shorting out breakfast

I sent Amelia off downstairs and then went and got dressed. I then walked off downstairs and I started to feel a bit dizzy so I ran down the last steps in case I fall and then went and sat on the sofa and put my head into my hands.

"You okay Mummy?" Amelia asked noticing me.

"I'm fine baby girl I promise just a bit tired" I told her showing her a fake smile which she brought.

"That's good. Daddy says he making egg and soldiers for breakfast" Amelia said smiling. I just smiled and put my head back into my hands. As putting your head down is one of the ways you can stop dizziness.

"Right you two dinners on the breakfast bar" Tom said walking into the room.

Amelia went skipping of into the other room.

"Hey Sammy, you alright?" Tom asked coming over and rubbing my arms for comfort.

"Yer, I think I'm just really lightheaded at the moment" I told him slowly getting up.

"Don't rush let me help you up, come and have a glass of water and a bar of chocolate it could be your blood sugar" Tom said. I giggled at him.

"What?" He asked helping me up.

"I'm a doctor I do know this" I said following him into the kitchen.

I take a seat at the breakfast bar. And give Amelia a smile she was runny egg on her face.

"Tom can you wipe Amelia's face I don't want her getting anything on her clothes" I asked.

"Sure thing baby, if you drink this for me" Tom said picking up a wet wipe and placing the glass of water on the bar in front of me "Thanks Tom" I smiled.

I drank most of the water while Amelia and Tom ate there breakfast.

"Babe you need to eat something" Tom said.

"I'm not hungry and besides I feel better already" I lied but I really don't want to eat.

"Come on Sammy, its important you eat something" Tom said. I nodded and took out some chocolate spread and put it on a slice of toast I took a bite out of it and then the bell rang.

"I'll go get that I need to move around" I said getting up Tom smiled.

"Hey, Sam sorry we are a bit early" Hazel said.

"Hay Hazel no problem, Ben can pull up on the drive as Tom and Amelia are still eating I said with a Smile.

"Sure, I'll get Ellie and let him park up" Hazel said.

"You don't mind if I leave the door open and go and sit down I've been feeling a bit dizzy" I ask.

"Go and get a drink, I don't mind" Hazel said Smiling. I walked off into the kitchen and sat at the bar.

"Who was it?" Tom asked.

"Hazel, Bens just going to pull up so we can get sorted" I said, Tom smiled and then started to clean up.

"You finished Mils" Tom asked and she nodded so he took her plate and washed up.

Ellie walked in shortly followed by Hazel carrying Logan.

"Ellie" Amelia shouted running over and hugging her.

"Hi Amelia" Ellie said.

"Girls go play in the living room while we tidy up but don't make a big mess as Papa will be angry as he's feeling a little worse for wear" Tom joked and they ran off.

"Sam you look amazing" Hazel said.

"Thanks so do you I thought I might get dressed up as its Ben's birthday"

"You didn't have too and I love Amelia's outfit, Ellie's got a party dress on" Hazel said.

Tom finished tiding up. And me and Hazel went to sit in the other room with the girls.

"Well girls I'm ready if you are" Tom said.

I go up and Amelia and Ellie came over.

"Amelia of its alright with Hazel you can go in there car with Ellie and me and Tom will follow behind" I smiled.

"Really" Amelia asked jumping about.

"Sure its fine with me and Ben won't mind" Hazel said standing up with Logan.

"Yay" Amelia said and both girls jumped up and down. Tom went to go and sort out Amelia's car seat to put it in Ben's car Hazel put Ellie in hers Ben help sort out Amelia's seat and then Tom put her in it before I got into Tom's car I notice there was a lack of Uno so I ran back inside to get him and gibe her to Amelia.

"Thank you Mummy" Amelia said smiling. I went and got into Tom's car I was feeling quite dizzy again after that so I drank some more water we then drove up behind Ben and Hazel before reaching the cinema, parking up and meeting them inside Tom got our tickets some fizzy drinks and some popcorn and Ben sorted out there tickets we are going to watch The Smurfs 2, after sitting in there for around 2 hours the film was finished both girls enjoyed it a lot and I must say I did enjoy it myself it was much better than the 1st that might have something to do with this one being in 3D it was the first 3D film Amelia had seen and it was so funny watching her try and grab out to catch the 3D sparkles she was so amazed by it all.

We then went and met Ben's mum who had Logan and we went to take our seats at pizza hut ready to order.


	66. Chapter 66

**_AN - Sorry if I confused any of you I meant today would be the decider on whether things where getting better in my life not whether to carry on the story! and I must say with a little motivational chat I feel so much better any way you must enjoy this chapter becuase if you don't I might just cry again :(_**

It had been a week since our weekend out with Hazel, Ben, Ellie and Logan. I haven't felt dizzy since so everything must be okay I chose to ignore it. We all had a great time I also had finished going through mum's belongs and I have a few items I have kept and a few things that I thought Jack may like. The funeral directors have allowed us to have her cremated and then just hold a little service for her on the cliff, It is just going to be Me, Dad, Tom, Zoe and a few of Mum's old friends who I managed to trace in her address book. Amelia stayed with Tom's Mum last night so she could take her to nursery as we were all busy getting ready for the ceremony

"Samantha I need to talk to you now" Dad called up the stairs, I turned to Tom and shrugged my shoulders "in fact bring Tom down as well" He called again. We both looked at each other in confusion but went down stairs I was just in an oversized jumper and Tom was in a t-shirt and boxes.

"There has been a major road accident just outside of the Silverton estate, it's all hands on deck I'm afraid, I know you still have a week left Sam but would you mind coming in" Dad says.

"But what about the ceremony" I ask.

"I have phoned they completely understand. Now can you to just get some old clothes on there's no time to go and get kitted up at the ED Tom I want you to drive Sam out and assist the paramedics on scene" Dad says rushing about the place. Tom had left the room to go and get ready.

"Dad I'm not ready for this" I said. Zoe then walked into the room on the phone barking orders at people in the ED.

"Samantha you have been asking for weeks to go back to work and now I'm letting you go early you don't want to?" Dad said.

"It's not that I don't want to its just that… you know what you wouldn't understand anyway" I said walking off with a single tear falling from my face.

"Babe are you alright?" Tom asked as I walked back into the room I found a pair of old tracksuit bottoms and put them on then rooted around for a plain t-shirt the only joy I had was finding and old one I used to use when I painted so I throw it on. I was ignoring Tom I didn't want to talk about it as I knew I would never leave otherwise.

"Samantha, talk to me" Dad said running into my room I was ready and Tom was in an old t-shirt and a pair of jeans.

"Dad there's no point I don't have a say in this anyway" I said looking in my cupboard for an old pair of trainers I should have a pair I used to use for running but they were worn out so I got a new pair.

"Sam what's going on" Tom said placing his hand on my shoulder causing me to jump. I ignored him putting on my shoes I then found my Id and placed it in my pocket.

"She told me she wasn't ready but won't explain why" Dad said looking over to Tom.

"Sam I thought you wanted to go back to work" Tom said confused.

"I do okay… Just not like this I want to ease back into it. It was so hard going back to work after a break from tour you would get thrown in at the deep end and that would be that and I don't want to have the pressure of making a mistake" I said letting some more tears fall.

"Samantha. That would never happen you are the best doctor I know and no matter what everyone will be thankful for your help even if you make a tiny error as we can sort them out" Dad explained.

"Babe no one's prefect we all make mistakes whether we are practising and have been for months or been on a break for a month. I'm going to be out there with you and so will Dixie and Jeff and maybe even Norman so if you need help we will all be there to offer it to you now we need to go and save some lives" Tom encouraged. I weakly nodded and took Tom's hand and we walked out to the car.

"I'm proud of you Samantha" Dad called. I turned and smiled at him "Love you Daddy"

"I love you too princess" Dad said.

We had got into the car and started heading towards the Silverton estate the traffic was terrible and we were not getting anywhere any time soon Tom pulled into a car park, we parked up and ran the rest of the way we went through the estate as it provided us with a short cut. Once we arrived at the scene nothing could have prepared us for what was in front of us. There was 2 cars on fire another 2 on their sides, car parts scattered all over the road and a young girl being treated by Jeff an Dixie while over patients just over looked there was people still trapped in one of the rolled cars and Norman was over there with the fire crew trying to get them out.

"Ready?" Tom asked again I weakly nodded, Tom being a pead's doctor ran over to Dixie and Jeff and I went over to Norman, Tom managed to get there without being questioned but when a policeman noticed me he tried to push me out of the way.

"It's alright I'm a doctor at Holby ED" I explained pulling out my ID.

"Very well" He said a let me through.

"Thank you" I said running off towards them.

"Oh Sam, so nice of you to join us, this is Ryan he has a few lacerations to his face and arms but nothing to major we are working on getting him out first as it is easier access but then we will move over to the other side of the car where Jack is again a few lacerations looks like he has glass imbedded in his arm and he also has airbag burns to the face and chest" Norman filled me in the whole time I was watching him.

"How long have they been trapped?" I asked.

"About an hour now" Norman replied.

"Well you need to get them out now as this car could blow at any second" I said.

"We are well aware of that fact miss but we need to be careful" A fireman said.

"Ryan, Jack how are you feeling, in any pain?" I ask. But before they could answer Norman buts in.

"They have both had 10mg of morphine so pain should be the all care side"

"Right well I'm Sam Nicholls and I'm a doctor at Holby ED. We are going to get you out of here as soon as we can" I said and looked into the car.

"Jack?" was all I could say.

"Samantha? I thought I recognised that voice" Was Jacks reply.

"I can't…. what are you doing here…" I was speechless that's all I could managed.

"I was held hostage at a camp and it was freed last night we were all on the 1st flight home and Ryan was also at the same camp his family are from Holby too" Jack explained.

"I still can't believe it's you" I said smiling. Jack smiled back but was cut off by Tom shouting over…

"Sam we need you help over here I need a chest drain and you are the only one cable of doing it out here"

"Okay Tom, I'm Coming, Jack I'll be right back I'm sorry but I can't treat you anyway" I said standing up.

"It's alright I understand protocol and all that anyway we have been rather entertained by Norman haven't we Ryan" Jack joked.

"Glad to see you can still joke about, Norman I want this car cut open and I want it open now my brother is in there and I want to give him a well needed hug" I said.

"SAM" Tom shouted.

"I'm coming" I said running off.

When I saw the state of the little girl I had to take a step back she only look about 5 it could of so easily of been Amelia once I had gathered my thought's I was straight down on the floor beside her preparing for the chest drain. I heard the sound of the mental cutters on the car and knew that meant they were getting Jack out

"Well done Sam" Tom smiled and rubbed my arm once I had finished and it was success full. "We need to get her on to a trolley and to the ED now but the roads are all blocked up so we have requested an air ambulance I am going to go with her to the ED so will you be alright out here" Tom asks.

"Tom I'll be fine, go with her. I'm going to go treat some walking wounded" I said smiling to him. He just gave me a look of concern "I will be fine I promise, I love you" I said smiling and heading off to treat some people. I was treating a man with some superficial burns when the metal cutters where turned off so I turned around and notice Jack standing up with Ryan and Norman he was walk them over to Dixie so I quickly patch up the man and ran over. The helicopter had arrived and Tom and the little girl had been rushed off

"Jack thank god you are alright" I said hugging him, he gasped in pain "I'm so sorry I didn't think"

"Hey Smidge, don't worry about it. I love you so much and I have missed you more than the world" Jack said hugging me.

"I love you too Jack and trust me there is nothing more I want then having you at my side again" I replied.

"Well I think I'm going to have to tell Tom about this" Jeff butted in ruining the moment.

"Jeff, This is my older brother Jack… Jack this is Jeff an annoying paramedic I choose to work with" I said. Jack started laughing.

"Oh, sorry for the mix up" Jeff said.

"Well I'm pleased to meet you Jeff" Jack said jumping into the back with Ryan.

"Look Jeff I wouldn't normally ask this but do you mind hanging back and patching up the rest with Norman and I'll go back with Dixie" I asked.

"Sure thing princess, Dix I'm staying to help here Sam going with you" Jeff called.

"Alright Jeffery, just don't do anything stupid" Dixie replied.

She started up the engine and we started to long struggle back to the ED all the time just sitting there in silence but it wasn't awkward in fact it was amazing I have no words to describe how I feel right now.


	67. Chapter 67

_**AN - So glad you liked that chapter I enjoyed writing it hehe if you guys haven't seen the spoiler you need to watch it Ian comes back and but Sam better stay with Tom and it looks like she does as she has an engagement ring on :D any way enjoy :) xx**_

We had been sat in the ambulance for a good 25 minutes already trying to get through the traffic the police where trying to move people but not getting very far as there was no were for them to move too.

"Sam why are you dressed like you just stepped out of bed, I thought doctors had all the cash these days" Jack asked and Ryan chuckled.

"I'm not meant to be at work I woke up and Dad told me to get dressed into some old clothes and come straight here" I said.

"You still live with Dad?" Jack asked.

"No well umm Yes actually I don't think I live anywhere" I giggled "I Stay with Dad every now and again but then I stay at Tom's most of the week with Amelia but we were at Dad's today because we were meant to be having… you know what I won't tell you just yet" I smile.

"Why not? And is Tom the other doctor that was at the scene with the young girl?" Jack asked.

"Yes Tom is and because you probably don't really want to know" I said hanging my head. I felt my phone go in my pocket. I took it out and see it was Alice ringing. My face dropped this is never a good sign.

"Hello" Alice said.

"Hey Alice, nothing's happened to Amelia she alright?" I ask worried.

"Calm down why would you think that?" Alice asked.

"Because last time you couldn't get a hold of Tom you phoned me" I said.

"Hey, don't worry Amelia is fine she is at nursery when I left her she was chatting to Ellie" Alice said "It's you and Tom I'm worried about I heard about the accident and that's not too far from your Dad's is it?" Alice asked.

"Yes its about 10 minutes away, we are both fine well last I knew Tom was alright but he went back to the hospital before me I am currently on route, Tom is most likely really busy with his patient if you can't get a hold of him" I explained.

"Wait you back at work I thought you had another week yet?" Alice questioned.

"I do well did but it doesn't matter I'm fine and I'm sure Tom is as well, when I get back to the ED I'll get him to phone you, could you bring Amelia down to the ED once she has finished at nursery?" I asked.

"Sure thing well I let you get back to work then. Bye Sam"

"Talk to you after" I said hanging up. I put my phone back into my pocket.

"Who was that and who is Amelia?" Jack asked.

"It was Tom's Mum Alice, she helps look after Amelia when we are both on the same shift and Amelia is my little baby girl" I said smiling.

"I have a niece" Jack said.

"Not technically, she isn't actually my daughter she is Tom's from a previous relationship Amelia never knew her mum as she left before Amelia was well enough to leave the hospital and well she calls me Mummy an I quite enjoy it I love her to pieces and I would happily be her Mum" I explained.

"Guys we are pulling up at the hospital" Dixie called.

I just smiled at this I couldn't wait to see Dad's face when he saw Jack or when Jack saw Dad.

"Right you two, I'm going to go get changed and cleaned up before I come back and sort you out but I will leave you with some very cable nurses, Charlie if he is free and if not Fletch." I explained they nodded. Dixie stopped the ambulance so I opened the door to see Charlie. I smiled knowing what he is about to say.

"Sam I thought you would like to get cleaned up so I will take them for now" Charlie said once one door was open I just nodded and opened then second.

"Right this is Jack and Ryan both have lacerations to their face and arms, Jack has a piece of glass embedded in in arm and airbag burns to his face and chest, Ryan is going to need a chest x-ray as his airbag didn't work. They have both had 10mg of morphine and there stats have be fine throughout other than a slightly raised BP" I explained jumping out of the ambulance to revel Jack.

"Jack, is that you?" Charlie asked.

"It sure is, I hope you kept a close eye on this one while I was gone" Jack said climbing out of the ambulance and ruffling my hair. I rolled my eyes at him.

"A very close eye indeed, you must be Ryan then, pleased to meet you I'm Senior Nurse Fairhead, Charlie" Charlie said.

"Yes I am, pleased to meet you too" Ryan said jumping out.

"Right well I need to go get changed" I said.

"See if you can find your Dad he will wont to know your back and un hurt he will also want to see Jack" Charlie said.

"Yes Sir" I joked walking off.

I had walked into the reception to see Noel.

"Hey Noel you haven't see my Dad have you?" I asked.

"He was helping Tom in Rhesus but not sure anymore I can page him for you" He said.

"Great well I'm going to be in the staff room putting on some scrubs" I said smiling and walking off.

"You still have a week left…." Noel started but I cut him off.

"I know Dad's requested that I came back" I said jogging of to the staff room.

I opened up my locker to a pair of neatly folded scrubs I took of my t-shirt and put on my scrub top and then the same with my bottoms. I had washed my hands and sorted out my hair I started to make a coffee when Dad walks in.

"Want one?" I ask.

"No thanks I just had one, Thank god you are alright never once have yo0u made it back without a scratch" Dad said. I picked up my coffee.

"Well I made it back with something much better follow me" I said opening the door. Dad looked confused but followed.

We were walking through the reception when I bumped into Tom.

"Hey Babe, glad to see you are alright" Tom said giving me a hug.

"Thanks, Your Mum phoned me she wants you to ring her as soon as" I said.

"Only one problem with that I left my phone at Nick's" Tom said. I pass him mine.

"Come give it to me when your finished please, I'm in cubicles with Charlie" I said.

"Thanks babe, Love you" Tom said giving me a kiss.

"Love you too" I said walking off with Dad. We had got to cubicles.

"Charlie" I called over to him.

"He's in cubicle 5" Charlie replied. Dad walked over to cubicle 5 and opened the curtain. The look on his face was amazing; it looked like he had seen a ghost.

"Jack?" Was all he managed.

"I know Daddy I was just as shock and I still can't believe it him" I said walking over to them.

"Alright Dad" Jack relied.

"14 years Jack, 14 years what happened" Dad said.

"A load of us got ambushed and we were knocked out and taken to this camp and we were used as slaves at first we all chose not to listen but we got a beating out of not listening so we just gave in we were used to clean and keep their weapons in good working order I once tamped with one of the guns and it was the worse decision of my life as I got attacked and well see for you self" Jack said leaning forward and lifting his shirt.

I went to have a look and all over his back were loads of white scars where he had been whipped. I was so shocked he put his shirt back down and pulled me into a hug.

"Is that all they did?" I asked through tears.

"They whipped the back of my knee's as well and also burnt me but for what it's worth one of their men paid the price after using the gun he had his arm shot from the fact that I made it back fire and he was so injured he couldn't use that arm again, I feel terrible for hurting someone like I did but it was war and things need to be done and there was no better feeling last night when we all got freed then knowing I would be able to see you too again" Jack said, I stayed there hugging him in tears but they weren't because I was sad but because I was so happy to see Jack again. He was stroking my hair for comfort I guess it gave both of us comfort just to be able to hold each other again after 14 long years.

"Jack, I'm sorry I need to go they need my help upstairs in theatre but as soon as I'm done I will come back down and see you" Dad said walking over and giving him a hug Jack returned the hug and I just sat on his lap They both shed a few tears, Dad kissed his forehead and then pulled me into the hug as well.

"Dad go, I do not want to be the reason someone doesn't get there surgery" Jack joked. Dad smiled and left us. I was sat on his lap and he was playing with my hair.

"Sam, here is your…" Tom said walking in this must look terrible.

"Tom it's not what you think" I said getting off of Jack and walking over to him. "I would like you to meet Jack or Corporal Jordan Either way meet my big brother" I said smiling.

"Nice to meet you Jack, I have only heard good things about you. Sam never stops talking about you" Tom said slipping his hand into mine and I rested my head on his shoulder.

"You must be Tom, Sam mentioned you on the ambulance" Jack said holding out his hand. Tom walked over and shook it.

"By the way Sam, Mum says she is going to go to the shop first before she drops Amelia off and Zoe asks you to remain in cubicles for a while as you haven't been working for 5 weeks" Tom says.

"Alright and tell Zoe I was planning on staying in cubicles for the next month I don't think I'm ready for rhesus yet" I said.

"Oi you, you are the best doctor in the department you saved that little girls life out at the scene and you have saved many other peoples life's as well you could go traveling for a year but on your first day back it would be like nothing ever changed" Tom said giving me a kiss.

"Shut up you" I said playfully hitting him.

"Ouch" Tom joked.

"Shut it Kent or I will hurt you" I said.

"Was that a treat or a promise?" Tom said. I went to hit him but he stopped me and picked me up span me in circles.

"You will have to be quicker than that Dr Nicholls" He said giving me a kiss and putting me down. Jack started to chuckle.

"Well I have a patient to treat and I believe you do too" I told him.

"Bye Jack I'll come back when I can." I smiled. Jack smiled back and I walked off. To treat Ryan and other patients who came into cubicles for the rest of the day.

"Hey, Jack sorry I've been a bit busy but Charlie says your fit to go and Ryan. Where are you planning on staying and we phoned Ryan's wife she's on her way to pick him up" I said walking into the cubicle.

"I was thinking maybe Dad could put me up for now and I also wanted you to spend the night at Dad's also I want to take you two out for a meal and get to know my little sis last time I saw you, you were 14 and still at school and now look at you, you a beautiful young lady and Tom is lucky to have you and you're a doctor as well I always knew you would make it" Jack says.

"There is too much to tell you Jack but I have kept a diary since the day we got the letter and it has everything good or bad which has happened while you have been away, starting with my section under the mental health to meeting a social worker who I later married and then dad bribed the army to let me in and I trained as an army medic where I was for 3 years out on the field in the hope of one day finding you but things got bed I had an affair I admitted to my husband I went back out ended the affair killed a man and then I left the army which lead me home to having this job with Dad and since then I have met Tom and been with him since but the latest edit in the diary is of Mum's death but as you can see not much has happened since you left" I explained.

"Sam what do you mean sectioned" Jack asked.

"Mum blamed me for you going missing I couldn't take it and I started to self-harm but after a while I didn't feel anything from it any more so I stopped eating and up until the point when I fainted at school no one really knew how bad it was they all knew I did it they just didn't know how bad and for my own good Dad got my sectioned I was there for 3 months but after the first month something clicked in me asking what would Jack say and well I stopped hurting myself I forced myself to eat and it took two month two long hard months to get myself out of there but I did it and well I carry my tiger stripes with proud" I said smiling and showing him my arms.

"Oh Smidge, I have missed so much!" Jack said getting of the bed and giving me a hug.

"It's alright, you're here now and it means more than anything in the world" I said as a tear fall down my face.

"Mummy" Amelia shouted running towards me and pulling at my bottoms. I turned around to pick her up.

"Hey Baby girl where's Nanny" I asked.

"She is looking for Daddy. Who's that" Amelia said.

"He's one of Mummy's patients but he is also Mummy's brother Jack do you remember I told you about him being a hero well here he his" I said.

"I remember you told me because I wanted to see him and you told me maybe one day" Amelia said.

"Well then it's nice to meet you Amelia I'm Uncle Jack" Jack said smiling.

"Hello Uncle Jack" Amelia said reaching over to give him a hug.

"Umm Samantha why Amelia hugging a patient of yours" Alice asked walking in.

"Alice it's my brother Jack, where's Tom I want to have a word with him" I asked.

"Oh right sorry Sam I didn't notice, Tom said he was going to go get changed then he will meet you here, Nanny has to go now, bye Amelia" Alice says.

"That's fine, thanks for dropping her here, Bye" I said.

"Bye Nanny" Amelia Said turning back and chatting with Jack.

"See you, It was nice bumping into you Jack" Alice said, Jack smiled and Alice left. Jack was chatting to Amelia she was sat on me and I was playing with her hair while she was telling Jack all about her nursery and her best friend Ellie.

Me and jack couldn't help but laugh at some on her answers.

"Hey Babe. I love you, you know that right?" Tom said walking in a coming over to me.

"Hey" I said giving him a kiss "I know you do and I love you too"

"Tom, Jack is going to take me and Dad out for dinner tonight and I'm going to stay at Dad's, hope you don't mind" I said.

"it's fine really I'm not going to stop you seeing him he is your life Sam I haven't seen you this happy in a very long time" Tom said smiling and kneeing down in front of me. I just smiled and took his hand.

"Hey Tom I'm going to need to get to know you and well Amelia seems to want to tell me her little life story so why don't you two come along as well" Jack said.

"I don't want to intrude" Tom said picking up Amelia and then me so he could sit down I then sat on him and left Amelia a space in-between us and Jack.

"Tom it would be an honour to get to know you and Amelia, what do you say Amelia want to come out for a Pizza with me, Mummy and Nick?" Jack said.

"He means Papa when he said Nick" I told her as she looked a little confused.

"Okay but I want Pineapple" She said.

"Well its settled Tom we are all going out for pizza tonight" Jack said.

Amelia started to jump up a down.

"Careful Baby girl you might hurt Uncle Jack" I said.

"Sam don't worry about me" Jack said.

"It's hard not too after not seeing you for 14 years Jack" I said and jack chuckled.

"We are going to need to get changed before we go tonight as we are both only in old clothes" Tom said.

"I know, why don't we head off back to yours and we can meet you at Dad's" I said to Jack.

"Sure think but I haven't got anything to wear and I dealt that I should go out looking like this" Jack said.

"Why not you are showing you fought for the country and anyone should be proud of that" I said smiling and giving him a kiss on the forehead.

"I'll meet you at Dad's in about 45 minutes, Come on Amelia" I said taking Tom's hand.

"I want to stay with Uncle Jack and Papa" Amelia said. I raised my eyebrows.

"Sam she will be fine, just go you too will be quicker without her under your feet" Jack said.

"Are you sure?" Tom said, Jack nodded me and Tom both gave Amelia a kiss then we headed off to go get ready for tonight.


	68. Chapter 68

_**AN - Sorry I didn't get round to updating yesterday but I was really busy and the first time I had actually manged to get to my self was when I watched Casualty - not sure what I'm going to think on Ian to be honest any way Enjoy :D **_

"Tom" I wined from his room.

"What Babe" He called from the bathroom he was shaving but if I'm to be honest with you I like him when he has a little bit of facial hair it makes him look more manly.

"I don't know what to wear" I complained.

"Babe I'm going to get rid of all your clothes so that we don't have this problem every day" Tom said chuckling.

"Tom it isn't funny" I said sat in a pile of clothes once again.

"Babe just put on your little black dress that always says class" Tom said walking in and resting on the door frame.

"I can't because Jack knows me as a tomboy I never wore dresses around him what will he think" I said.

"Babe Jack knows the 14 year old Sam not the 28 year old Sam who from what I have gathered has changed a lot and mainly for the better surprise him let him see what a beautiful young lady his little sister has grown up to be" Tom said walking over and cupping my face. "Jack is going to love you all the same no matter what"

"I leant in to his chest and just listened to his heart beating but after a while Tom spoke.

"Come on babe you need to get ready" I nodded and got up.

Once I had decided on what I was wearing I took it out of the cupboard and when to get ready in the bathroom so I could sort out my hair and what not at the same time. I had finally decided on my little black dress, a figure hugging boob tube styled dress but with flora lace styled sleeves with a thin pair of black tights. I curled the tips of my hair and left it down hanging off my shoulders.

I then went to quickly pick out a dress for Amelia. I chose her a navy blue daisy print dress with a brown belt, a faux fur waistcoat a pair a cable knit tights and her studded swade boots. I then made my way back into our room to see if Tom was ready he had a pair of dark jeans on, a pale pink shirt and a navy blazer.

"Well, well Dr Kent don't you scrub up well" I said eyeing him up from the doorway.

"Well I try my best and I could say the same for you Dr Nicholls" He said coming over and snaking his arms around me. "You look amazing tonight you do know that right" Tom said leaning down and kissing me.

"So do you for once" I said giggling.

"What's that meant to mean" Tom asks.

"Nothing" I said leaning on my tiptoe's so I could kiss him. He picks me up so I wrap my legs around his waist and he holds me up by my bum while playing with it at the same time I was playing with his hair with one hand and holding onto his face with the other. We both pulled back for air and Tom smiled at me so I just rested my head on his shoulder. Tom carried me down stairs like this it was as if I was Amelia and had fallen asleep in the car. We got to the bottom and he went to place me on the step but before he could let go I had him back in a deep kiss. Tom pulled away first.

"Am I not allowed to kiss the worlds sexiest man who so happens to be mine" I asked innocently.

"Well when you put it that way" Tom said and started to kiss me again. I was lying on the stairs which was rather uncomfortable but I had Tom floating on top of me holding me and kissing me I had my legs still wrapped around his waist. Tom was slowly pulling my dress up and I had managed to take his blazer off and unbutton his shirt so that I was greeted by his amazing body where I started to trace my fingers around his muscles.

"Smidge, I sure there are much more comfortable places" Jack said.

"Oh my god Jack" I quickly got out from under Tom and pulled my dress down so and Tom turned around and sat on the stairs and started to re-button up his shirt.

"Sorry about intruding but Dad thought we better come and get you as well your 45minutes turned into an hour and a half if not longer" Jack said.

"Well you see we were having the normal Samantha Nicholls problem of not knowing what to wear and once again her clothes are scattered all over our room as normal and she will most probably expect me to pick them up" Tom said chuckling.

"I can't imagine Sam being like that" Jack said laughing.

"Well if you guy would like to stop picking on me maybe we can get going as you have held us up long enough Tom" I said jokingly but Tom being Tom had to get back at me.

"Well maybe if you hadn't been flirting with me and what not we would have made it back to your Dad's on time"

"You where the one that put me on the floor and started all of this" I said back.

"You shouldn't be so god dam Sexy then should you" Tom replied I was just about to dig back when Jack stopped us.

"Guys you two sound like a pair of teenagers who are fighting over who got each other caught" Jack laughed.

I just put my shoes on and when to get Amelia, I brought her inside quickly to get her changed as she was only in a tunic and pair of leggings. Tom was now ready and chatting to Jack like they had known each other for years.

Once Amelia was changed we all went out to Dad's car, he was driving, Jack in the front and they had put Amelia in the middle.

"Just so you two don't start again" Jack said laughing as I climbed into the car. I just gave him the evils.

"Smidge I didn't get to say this before but you look amazing" Jack said.

"That kinda creepy coming from my big bro but thanks" I said. Amelia and Tom where having at chat about nursery ignoring us 3.

"By the way, Zoe is meeting us at the restaurant" Dad said.

"Jack quick jump out the car save yourself you don't want to meet Zoe" I joked and Tom chuckled hearing what I said.

"But you have been getting on really well with her for a change" Dad said.

"I was joking" I sad as well pulled up at the restaurant and all climbed out of the car. We made our way inside.

"Evening Sir have you made a reservation" The Waiter asked.

"Evening , No we haven't but we were hoping for a table for six" Dad said.

"You are in luck one has just become available if you don't mind waiting at the bar we will tidy it up for you" The waiter said.

"Drink?" Tom questioned.

"Only one and get Amelia some Fanta" I replied as we walked over to the bar.

"Can I get a bottle of red wine with two glasses and a glass of Fanta please" Tom asked the barman.

"That will be £16.90 please sir" The barman said before going off and sorting out the order. Tom got out the money ready to pay.

"I said only one" I whispered in his ear after wrapping my arms around him from behind and resting my head on his shoulder. Tom just lent down and kissed me. Amelia was sat spinning around on one of the bar stools and Jack was ordering himself and Dad a beer.

"Look at them two, can't take them anywhere as they can't keep their hands off each over for five minutes" Zoe said once she had arrived. I let go of Tom and turned to face her.

"Just because you're jealous" I joked. Zoe then turned to Dad and started to kiss him.

"Well that was unexpected" Jack said as he turned around.

"You're telling me both your bosses snogging each other is not what you expect to see every day" Tom added. I went over and pick up Amelia. Zoe then pulled away but span around with her arms still around Dad.

"Jealous, Why would I be I have a perfectly good man standing right here, now who's buying me a drink" Zoe questioned.

"Can we have another glass" I asked the Barman and he returned with one "Thanks" I said smiling.

"Here's your drink Zoe" I said passing her the empty glass.

"You're so funny Sam" She laughed.

"We have a bottle of red you can have some" Tom explained picking up the bottle both glass and Amelia's drink and we all went over to the table. I had placed Amelia in a seat at the end so she was by Jack but also by me, Tom sat next to me and Zoe and Nick on the other side. I had lent over and taken Tom's hand I was playing with his fingers.

"See can't even go 5 minutes" Zoe joked.

"At least you didn't walk in on them before" Jack added.

"They weren't at it again where they you would think they have had enough of it recently" Zoe said.

"Zoe" I nearly shouted and we had a couple of people turn and look at us. "Please stop you make me sound terrible" I lowered my voice and added.

"What its true" Zoe said. I throw the menu at her and she just gave me a dirty look.

"This is going to be interesting" Jack added.

"Like nothing changed, Jack" Dad commented "She is still the kid she was when you left"

I just rolled my eyes at him and looked at Amelia who was colouring in.

"Want some Scampi Babe?" I asked her.

"Yes Please Mummy" She replied and they carried on colouring in. We chatted among ourselves until the waiter had come over.

"Would you like to order" He asked. Dad nodded and started.

"I will have a classic toad in the hole please" Dad asked.

"Can I cottage pie, please" Zoe asked.

"Steak and Kidney pie sounds great right now, I think I will have one of those" Jack said.

"Can I get a battered cod with chunky chips and peas and for the little one Children's scampi and chips chunky again please" I asked.

"I think I'll have the battered Cod as well but with mix veg instead and can we get another bottle of red wine as well" Tom asked. I slapped him playfully on the arm.

"Your food will be with you shortly" The waiter said walking away.

"What was that for" Tom asked.

"We both have work tomorrow and not to mention so does Zoe and you know the hole ED will hate us if we get her drunk and then send her on shift" I said. Zoe gave me the evils

"Since when where you the responsible one you used to get Lauren in trouble all the time and then blame it on her anyway saying you had nothing to do with it, like the time you and Lauren where mucking about outside on your scoters and left them leaning on the tress by Dad's car and they fall and dented it and you blamed it on Lauren saying it was her idea to leave them there because you know Dad wouldn't have a go at her" Jack said.

"Sam that was you all this time where most things you then because I really never did picture Lauren as the irresponsible one" Dad said.

"Way to go Jack, he never ever once suspected me but now he is going to all the time" I said.

"I was going to say I couldn't imagine you letting other people take the blame for you but then you tried that one with me just before" Tom said. Jack just Laughed knowing what Tom meant.

"She was the best at it I must say but if she knew the other person would get in serious trouble she would take the blame herself" Jack added.

"Daddy" Amelia called.

"Yes sweetie" Tom asked.

"Why are they called waiters if we are the ones who have to wait" Amelia asked and the hole table burst out laughing.

"Your red wine sir" A waiter came over and placed in on the table.

"Thanks" Tom tried to say with a straight face but just started laughing at him.

"Excuse me sir but would you mind explaining what is so funny" the waiter asked we had all gathered ourselves again but still smiling at each other.

"Mils aske the Waiter what you just asked us" Tom said.

"Why are you called a waiter if we are the ones who have to wait" She asked looking very confused.

The waiter just stood there shocked unsure on how to answer so Jack just came out with…

"Don't kids say the funniest things" The waiter smiled nodded and walked off.

We all started laughing this time Amelia joined in even though she had no clue why.

After we had all calmed ourselves down Zoe said…

"I'm going to go to the Toilet, won't be long it's just the wait is killing me" we all just looked at her and she shrugged her shoulders "I tried alright but I'm not as funny as her" The waiter came back over.

"Sorry to interrupt but I was trying to explain all the laughing to this couple over here and they were wondering how old she is" He asked.

"She is 4" I told him smiling.

"Instead of coming over and talking to us why don't you go get our food I'm fed up of waiting" Amelia said and crossed her arms trying to look angry.

The waiter still as confused as before walked off and we started to laugh at her again.

"Zoe I think I'm going to join you on that one" I said standing up "Millie come with me and Zoe please" I asked her and she got up.

"No don't take our entertainment away" Jack said. I just rolled my eyes. On our way to the toilets I ruffled up Tom's hair.

"I get you back for that" He called after us. I just turned around and pulled my tongue out at him.

(Jacks POV)

"She is so childish" Tom said.

"But so are you?" I replied.

"That's why they are the perfect match" Dad said.

"Tom I am really sorry about walking in on you two but I didn't expect to open the door and for you two to just be there" I said.

"Don't worry about we have had worse. I was really bored at work once sat in the staff room and then Sam had come in and she told me she knew how to cure that so we were about to you know and Sam was lying on top of me with just her thong on and I was naked under her and well yer any way we were sure we had locked the door and we hadn't even heard it open but we were all over each other I was just about to pull down her thong when all we heard was 'Woah guys this is not what I want to see when I'm trying to enjoy my lunch' and then the door slamming. Sam jumped off of me and stumbled around trying to put her scrubs back on and I was doing the same when we turned around and faced each other and just started laughing we knew who it was down to her voice so once we were able to find her we confronted her about it and she promised to never mention it again. So you know there have been a lot more awkward times" Tom explained.

"You guys really need to learn how to get a room" I joked.

"Tom it wasn't Tess was it? She is always moaning at you two to get a room" Dad asked. Tom nodded.

I don't know who Tess but by the look on both their faces, it looked like they wanted to laugh about it but at the same to Tom looked like he wanted to cry.

It is great being back home in Holby and learning all about what has happened since I've been away and I know I've only been back about 24 hours I feel like I never left Sam is the same as she always was and so is Dad and it just feels like we have gone out for a family meal and I'm the only single one at the table. I have missed so much in their lives though I wish I hadn't but I can't rewrite the past and I can't change what has happened but what I can do is make sure that I'm always here for them now especially Sam after what she told me has gone on since I was away. She is so young yet has been through so much. I wish I was there to support her but I wasn't and like I said I'm here now and that's all that counts. I hope she gets married to Tom they are prefect together and with Amelia as well she is one funny kid, I know Sam said she has already been married and divorced but I hope it won't put her off with Tom I guess only time will tell what happens between them.

We are all sat back around the table laughing and Joking with Amelia and winding her up when the waiter finally arrives with our food.


	69. Chapter 69

**_AN - This is just a bit of a muck about chapter, I have some good idea to come yet :D Enjoy_**

We had eaten and paid the bills it was around 8 o'clock we were all going to head back to Dad's and just have a laugh. I decided it was probably best that I phoned Lauren as I said to myself I was going to as soon as I had time to about Jack being home but somehow time had ran away with its self. We all got back into Dad's car and I pulled out my phone.

"Hey Sam, everything alright" Lauren asked.

"Hey Lauren everything is more than alright" I replied.

"Care to explain" Lauren asked.

"Well Jack is back in Holby" I nearly screamed down the phone. All I heard was Lauren screaming as well.

"I can't believe it" She said.

"Neither can we, we are heading back to Dad's if want to meet us there" I said.

"Sure, see you in about 10 minutes just need to get changed first although with my 6 month bump it might be hard" She joked.

"I forgot you where that far gone you are already so big though what are you feeding this baby" I joked.

"Well actually quite a lot!" She said.

"I can only imagine what it's like"

"Well one day it will be you then I can take the piss out of you" Lauren said.

"Haha very funny, so see you in about 10 minutes"

"Right okay see ya" Lauren said hanging up, I put my phone away and started to tickle Amelia.

"Stop it Mummy" She said while Laughing.

"What have you planned for tonight then?" Jack asked.

"Nothing Laurens coming over that's all I swear" I said innocently.

"Alright then I suppose I missed her too after all we did spend every waking hour together me you and her" Jack said and I just smiled.

Not long after did we arrive at Dad's with Zoe following behind us.

"I hope Lauren has a small car otherwise we are not all going to fit on the drive" Dad said parking up and we all climbed out.

"She only has a ford fiesta I think" I told them. Tom had walked over to the side of the car we were all on so we could watch and laugh at Zoe and her bad parking. He had wrapped himself around me after I complained that I was cold and Jack made some joke about wearing more clothes but I wasn't really listening. Amelia was in Dad's arms and was staring to fall asleep. So I got myself out of Toms grip and took Amelia.

"Say night to everyone" I told Amelia. She said night to Dad then I walked over to Jack.

"Night Uncle Jack" She said giving him a kiss.

"Night Millie" Jack replied. Tom was next.

"Night Mils" Tom said.

"Night Daddy, I love you" She said giving him a hug.

"Love you too sweetie" Tom replied giving her a kiss. Zoe was now talking to Dad after failing to park the car so we went over to see her.

"Night Zoe" Amelia said.

"Night darling see you tomorrow maybe" Zoe replied I was about to take her inside when Lauren pulled up and we had to wait for her to get out of the car so Amelia could say night to her as well Lauren got out the car and came running over.

"Lauren Amelia wants to say goodnight" I said.

"See you tomorrow at Nursery Millie, Mummy better get you in on time as we have special treat organised oh and don't put her in clothes you will kill me if they get ruined" Lauren joked.

"Really what is it" Amelia asked.

"Babe you're meant to be saying good night" I told her. She looked at me with this sad face she always uses and I made sure I didn't make eye contact as I knew I would crack. After a while she turned back and looked at Lauren.

"Night, night Lauren see you tomorrow" Amelia Said I smiled and carried her to the door.

"Should I take her up so you can be with Lauren and Jack?" Tom asked.

"It's fine I will be 5 minute if that she is going to be out like a light" I said. Tom placed a kiss on Amelia's and then one on mine all I heard was Zoe in the background saying 'I told you' and Dad just laughing I then opened the door and took her upstairs everyone else pilled in but they all headed towards the kitchen.

We got upstairs, I had got Amelia changed into a pair of P'js that stay at Dad's now as she stays over a lot, there isn't much room in there yet but Dad has put the blow up mattress in his old office now. I read Amelia a bedtime story but before I was finished she was asleep. I then made my way to my room where I took off my heels and tights and got out the diaries I made for Jack and placed them on his bed. Then I made my way to the kitchen.

"Where's mine" I say walking into the kitchen and everyone had a glass of wine. "And Lauren you're not planning on drinking that are you?" I asked raising my eye brows.

"Yours is on the top and what is wrong with you Smidge first trying to be all responsible and now telling Lauren she can't drink. Well who are you and what have you done with my smidge" Jack said.

"Well in case you hadn't noticed I'm 28 now and I've grown up a lot and also it may have escaped you noticed but Lauren's pregnant" I said picking up my glass.

"Sam" Lauren shouted at me.

"What?" I replied.

"I didn't want anyone to know" Lauren joked.

"That would be hard anyway you look lovely tonight Lauren" I told her.

"Thank and no I'm going to drink the wine we are going to have a toast" Lauren said.

"Well on that note I would just like to say welcome home to most amazing Son in the world. Me and Sam well we weren't great at first when we got the letter as we didn't work together as a team but the last 6 months or so since she has been back we have worked together and we started to talk to each other and well things became easier and because of that you are now at home in a positive environment as I knew if we were still ignoring one another it wouldn't of made much difference. A lot has changed and a lot has happened in those 14 years but no matter what it was you came back to us with open arms and I would like to thank you for accepting Zoe, I know she isn't your mother but I love her and that was enough for you and I know Sam would also like to thank you for not ripping Tom's head off once you found out they were together as you are that type of big brother and accepting Amelia just like the rest of us, she has had a hard little life and we all thank you for accepting her as one of ours. And I would just like to say Welcome Home Jack! It may not be what it used to be but none the less we are the same people we always where and this is the same house so welcome home Jack" Dad said and raised his glass. Giggles and chuckles where made throughout that.

"Welcome Home Jack" We all call together while raising out glasses.

"Thanks Dad, Sam and the rest of you. I know it hasn't been the easiest thing for you and Sam to manage but you found a way though it and are here to celebrate today. Dad you found comfort in Zoe and Sam you suck by Lauren as no matter what shit you two into when you were younger no matter how many fights I had to break up and the ones you sorted out yourself you suck by each other and are still sticking by each other now, thanks for that Lauren for being there for Sam I will be forever grateful for that and Tom you haven't been with Sam long but from what I heard the moment you laid eyes on her you were there to protect her whether she wanted it or not and to love her unconditionally which is all a big brother wants to see, his little sister being loved and cared for with no strings attached just loved so thank you and Zoe thank you for comforting Dad and being his rock. I would also like to thank Charlie he may not be here but he needs to be mentioned he help Sam through some rough patches and I would like to thank him for that. Now I don't know about you lot but this kitchen is not the best place to be gathered so I for one are moving into the lounge" Jack said smiling. Everyone else raised there glasses again but I gave him a hug when then all made our way through to the lounge.

"Guys Let Lauren sit on the sofa" Dad said as me, Tom, Jack where all fighting over the last space. Me and Tom got out one of the beanbags and Jack followed suit there was 5 glasses of wine on the table and a few bottles and then Laurens glass of lemonade I felt sorry for her as we would all be getting drunk.

We had been talking about everything and that isn't a lie from Jacks life in the army before he got captured to some of the shit me and Lauren got into while he wasn't here.

"Come on I want to know what was the worst thing you two ever did?" Jack asked.

"Umm well we went for a weekend trip by the sea we had a hired out a little cabin and there was enough room for 6 of us so it was me and Lauren, 3 boys and another girl called Dawn that we used to hang out with this was during the summer holidays one year us girls had, had enough of revising for our exams and decided we were going to go for it just to get away from it all. We were only 15 but the guys we were with where 17 but somehow Dad let me go anyway once we had got out there we had spent the first day down on the beach having a great time until where retreated back to the cabin where we would get the stuff for the camp fire and well we noticed that Dawn was too busy revising still even though we were out here to have fun." I explained stopping to have a drink. Lauren then carried on.

"Well while the boys when out to try and get the fire started but they weren't having much luck we had stayed in the cabin to try and talk Dawn out of revising but she wasn't having it so Sam took all the note off of her and ripped them up and then took them over to the boys and put them in the fire it was safe to say we had a fire that lasted the whole night but we also had one very pissed off 15 year old which same then spiked her drink because she was being boring and yes me and Sam had been drinking with the boys so she poured some vodka into Dawns orange juice and well the rest of the trip let's just say Sam had the upper hand as whenever Dawn was being a bitch she told her that she would get her drunk again and Dawn wasn't up for that as we later learnt it was the first time she had ever touched alcohol it wasn't a wonder why she spent most of the night throwing up. Sam I wouldn't say this was the worst what about all the times we got done by the police." Lauren asked at the end.

"Sam you did that" Tom looked very surprised. I just nodded.

"You got done by the police?" Jack questioned.

"Look we may of not got done by the police that weekend but I feel it was the worst think we ever did as well let's just say Dawn got so stressed out that she eventually turned to alcohol most nights and then in the end she ended up with bad grades were as me and Lauren walked away with top marks." I said. Relaxing back into Tom.

"The Police" Jack questioned again.

"Look the police where for stupid things like driving underage and well I rolled a car by a mistake at 15 and we used to get told of from drinking underage and stupid stuff like that none of it ever went down on record though" I explained. "Tom I bet you got up to stuff like that with Ben and that lot"

"Actually not really we spend most of our time mucking about on our bikes on the woods and okay yes we used to drink underage but not all the time and anyway left for college at 18 and that's when I met Amy, Amelia's mum and well there you go things sort of stopped after that it was just us two going out most nights I never really got up to anything much" Tom explained.

"Wow someone's boring" Zoe laughed.

"Well what about you then Zoe if you can remember that far what where you like" Tom asked.

"To tell you the truth I was sneaking into clubs and getting pissed out of my mind and then genuinely spending the night with a different guy each weekend" Zoe said bluntly.

"I wasn't expecting that" Tom said.

"I was" I laughed at her.

"Okay guys why don't we play truth or dare" Jack said. Pouring another glass of wine we were all tipsy apart from Lauren.

"Is it True you fancy Jack" I asked Lauren.

"Sam! I'm pregnant with Dean" Lauren said.

"Yer and you used to always go on about how much you fancied him and I bet you still do" I added.

"Lauren just tell me I won't say anything" Jack added.

"Alright yes I have always had a soft spot for you" Lauren admitted. "Sam Truth or Dare"

"Truth, I'm too drunk to move" I said.

"I can tell that" Dad laughed.

"What's that supposed to mean" I said slurring my words.

"It means no more wine!" Zoe shouted. "For once it's not me drunk out of my mind, Tom you better look after her tonight"

"Of course I will" Tom said.

"Okay well anyway Sam what's your biggest turn on" Lauren asks.

"That easy when Tom kisses my neck" I reply.

"Tom would you say that's true?" Lauren asked.

"Definitely" Tom says starting to kiss my neck but he pulls away.

"I'm not going to carry on she is too drunk to take advantage of" Tom says.

"Well I think it's time we all got some rest especially you two as well you are on the morning shift" Dad said.

"Right well I'll see you whenever bye guys" Lauren said leaving.

Tom slowly carried me upstairs and to bed where I just fall straight to sleep.


	70. Chapter 70

_**AN - This is a pretty heavy chapter guys I didnt mean for it to end up like this but once I had started writing I could not stop. I would tell you to enjoy but I dont really think you could enjoy this chapter. Also there's quite a mention of Self harm in this chapter.**_

(Jacks POV)

As I got upstairs I noticed my old room it was exactly the same as it used to be nothing was different only the diaries Sam had left on my bed I opened one up to see what the date was.

'14th July 1999 and the morning of the 15th July 1999.

I was never one for keeping a diary but after today I feel as if I should.

I am going to keep this diary for Jack, the best big brother ever he is a corporeal in the army. For you see we received a letter in the post today Dad read it first but he would not say a word afterwards then Mum well she read it as well and broke down. Dad started to comfort her and neither one wanted to explain what it was about I noticed Mum had put the letter to the side so I went as if to give her a hug but in the process take the letter once it was in my hand I put it in to my pocket and acted normal.

I went to the kitchen to get Mum a glass of water and to sort out my snack bars and energy drinks. I had an important football match for my school so I didn't have time to look at the letter until later. I had gone upstairs to get my kit ready when I heard Dad call me downstairs. I went to see what he had wanted and that's when he told me about you being MIA and then Mum well she started to say it was my fault you were gone my fault you joined the army I didn't know what to do I couldn't think straight but one thing for sure was that I wasn't staying at home.

I went and got my bag with my kit in ready and I put the letter in there and I ran to the stadium. The game had already started but my coach was happy to swap with me at half time after all I was the captain so after I had played half the game our team had won only by one point but we had won so we were going to the tournament. I was trying to block out what Dad said and then what Mum accused me of by keeping busy.

After the match I didn't stay of the celebrations we normally have after winning a match Coach would take us out of a Pizza or something of the sort but I wasn't up for it so I stayed in my kit and I went for a run without even saying by to anyone. I didn't think at the time it was a bad idea but after I had made it to central park an hour later I thought about what I had done and what the coach would be thinking, she most likely would have phoned Dad.

Well I sat down in my usual spot in the park, up to the top of one of the hills, not many people come up here as it is such a hike and a climb so I made it my place after you left as at night it's the perfect place to be to just sit and watch the moon and stars, Dad doesn't know this but I sneak out at night to watch them because if he did know he probably wouldn't let me leave the house again.

I had got the letter out and had been holding it for ages before I finally opened it.

'Dear Dr and Mrs Jordan

I am writing you with reference to your son, Sergeant Major Jack E Nicholls., who reported by The Adjutant General as missing in action in Afghanistan since 10th June 1991.

Additional information has been received indicating that Sergeant Major Nicholls of The Royal Regiment of Wales had been asked to take his troops to battle after a number of different civilian bombings on schools in Kabul, Afghanistan on the 10th June 1991. Reports reveal that during this mission at about 10:37 a.m. a second wave of bombs hit the area many of the troops escaped unharmed. Your son and his troops were last seen on the way back to base camp at about 2:00 p.m. the same afternoon. We have worked closely with the medical team to identify fallen soldiers since the attack and we will carry on this process while using all the information presently available.

Believing you may wish to communicate with the families of the other troops who were last seen with your son, I am enclosing a list of these men and the names and addresses of their next of kin.

Please be assured that a continuing search by land, sea, and air is being made to discover the whereabouts of our missing personnel. As our armies advance over enemy occupied territory, special troops are assigned to this task, and agencies of our government and allies frequently send in details which aid us in bringing additional information to you.

Very sincerely,

Major General J. P. Murray  
The Royal Regiment of Wales'

By the time I had finished ready the letter I was in tears it just made it all the more real and the more I thought about you and why it was you this had happened to the more I heard what Mum had said ringing in my ears. I folded up the letter and put it back into my bag. I then ran down the hill and through the park as there was lot of people around wearing my burgundy and navy school football kit I was sticking out like mad. Loads of people had tried to stop me and chat to me but I just wanted to get home so I kept running. I got to the ED a saw the pub across the road and I broke down I fall to the floor in tears. Someone noticed me as I could hear them getting closer calling out to see if I was alright I tried to ignore her I knew her voice she works at the ED with Dad so this would only make it worse. Once she got right next to me I had no option but to look up. All she managed to say was Samantha and then she embraced me into a hug. I stayed for a while it was nice to be held. 'If you're looking for your Dad he isn't here sweetie' she said I looked up and shock my head. 'I just want to go home' I told her. 'Here take this' she told me taking off her NHS hoodie. 'You must be freezing out here'. It's the middle of July but like most great British Summers it's decided the sun will not be gracing us with its presence. 'Thank you' I said getting up she just smiled and I ran off.

I hear the birds on the summer breeze, I run fast; I am alone in the night. Been trying hard not to get into trouble, but I, I've got a war in my mind. So, I just run, just run, I just run, just run. I kept saying over and over again to myself as I ran home. Once I arrived I unlocked the door and took off the hoodie shoving it in my bag hoping Dad wouldn't suspect a thing but the truth is that it is already 9 o'clock and I have only just walked back through the door after leaving at 5. He asked where I had been what I had been doing because he was called by my coach and by Maggie the lady from the ED I just ignored him and went to cook some dinner. I made myself a tuna pasta bake. I went to have a shower as ever since I can remember this is my place to think it's where I reflect on what has happened and decide what to do next. After the shower I headed off downstairs but once at the top all I could hear was Mum shouting at Dad about it being my fault that you are not here I couldn't take it so I went into you room to feel close to you. I had put on one of the hoodies that you left me saying to wear whenever you need reminding of me and I sat on your bed cross legged looking at old photos and well something changed I would never look at a knife and think to do what I thought when I saw the pen knife you had left behind I grabbed it and I took the blade to my skin first just resting it there the cold mental on my skin felt amazing I went to slice my arm up with it but at first I couldn't so I put it back down and then out of nowhere I picked it up and took it to my skin slicing my arm and watching the sticky red substance that is known as blood run down my arm I started to smiling I was imagining my arm was Mum and for every statement she had made about it being my fault I took the blade and sliced my wrist, once, twice, three time but at this point it wasn't about mum any more it was about the pain It was unbearable but what do you expect I had taken a blade to my arm and slice it open in many different places but it felt so good so I carried on and on until I could not find any more skin to slice I had blood all over my tracksuit bottoms. I had taken your hoodie off scared to get blood on it. For the first time since that letter cam I felt free like all my worries had gone with my crimson blood that was pouring freely from my arm. The once shiny clean blade no stained with my blood. It felt great my mind was numb to all the pain I could feel anything other than being in bliss I was in a world of my own floating on cloud nine there was no pain no hurt no anger it had all be released with my blood.

After the feeling wore off I noticed how bad I had cut myself I was feeling dizzy down to my loose of blood I knew what to do as I had taken many first aid course before so I set about finding the first aid kit and then locking myself in the bathroom to fix up what I had done. It was now around 11:30 and I believe I may have blacked out for a while but either way I was awake now and I had cleaned up and dressed my arm the bandaged stretched over the many cuts up my arm I know I needed to go to the ED and have some of them stitched but there was no way I could tell Dad so I snuck out and was making my way to St. James when I just couldn't stand anymore I needed to lie down but I knew that was not a good idea but in the end I did I just dropped to the floor and old Lady came over to me asking if I could hear her and asking about the blood on my bottoms I just slowly raised my arm and the shock on her face I know it was wrong I know it looked bad the worst part is that no matter how hard I tried the blood get pouring out the bandaged was soaked through. The lady called for an ambulance there was no other way really she stayed with me I was drifting in and out of concisions each time I closed my eyes I wanted to keep them shut I didn't want to open them but I know for Dad's sake I had to he has just found out that we have lost you he couldn't lose me on the same day so I struggled to stay awake I was placed on a trolley and rushed to Holby ED the one place I didn't want to go but it was closer then St. James. The old Lady had gone home and it was just me and the paramedic's one called Andrew and one called Sandra, Sandra was driving and Andrew was trying to get the bandaged off of me he eventually succeeded I could tell by the look on his face I was hooked up to a saline drip and once I got to the ED I was rushed through to Rhesus where I was hooked up to bloods and the doctors started to stich up the worse cuts. I think he said his name was Doctor Harley the Nurse she was Staff Nurse Beckford and she was trying to get my details out of me but I refused to tell her. It was just wasn't my day as Charlie was on the night shift and he had walked into Rhesus. 'Samantha what's happened where's your Father' he asked. I just turned away from him he then walked closer and noticed my arm 'You know what I'm calling your Dad and getting psych down here' Charlie said walking off I shouted after him telling him no but he ignored me.

I had been moved to a cubical where I was on a saline drip and having blood pumped into me I was also being giving Paracetamol through a drip as I refused to take it any other way when Dad got here he was a mess he had been crying once again I told him I was sorry over and over again but he didn't care all he cared about was the fact that I was alright I just had an a lot of stitches running up my arms they sort of looked liked train tracks but I didn't care. I was still a bit dizzy but that was normal. I had to stay in until the around 11 o'clock the next morning Dad had got rid of psych claiming it was a one off but psych wasn't convinced after looking at the cuts but as Dad was the boss he could remove anyone he wanted to from the room. We got home at around 11:30 a.m. and Dad forced me to eat and drink and then I decided I was going to go to school, It was a lot sunnier today but I didn't really care I made sure I had my school jumper on. Dad was not happy with my decision but I just wanted to carry on like normal.'

I never thought when Sam mentioned self-harm that it was quite that bad. She was only 14 back then and how she described that was in so much detail that no 14 year old should ever have to experience. I never thought that Mum would have blamed her either for my going missing. I want to talk to Sam I know why she didn't but I want to just give her a hug and tell her everything is alright I'm back now and I aint going nowhere. Before I left for the Army I trained as a mechanic so I am going to look and see if any garages are looking for staff, I need to get myself work and find myself a flat I can't expect Dad to keep the roof over my head for much longer as I am 34 years old I should be looking after myself. I'm going to talk to Sam in the morning if I am up in time as she is starting her shift early tomorrow. For now I'm going to try and get some sleep.


	71. Chapter 71

**_AN - Sorry its been a while but I have been stressing out as I have my first proper job interview next week and I also manged to locked my self out of my phone last night and had to go and get that sorted out and as I had started writing the chapter on my phone I wasnt very happy - this chapter is much lighter then the last one but I will have some more heavy chapters if I can fit them in - Enjoy :) _**

I woke up to the world's worst headache ever and the sun shining though the tiny crack in the curtains doesn't help. I am feeling lightheaded again as well which doesn't help mixed with the feeling that I'm about to lose the contents of my stomach. Someone is up I really don't know who as I can hear them in the kitchen. I decide to get up an check on Amelia she is still asleep but it's only 6 so she has plenty of time to stay there. I head off downstairs to find some Paracetamol and a glass of water but the smell o Zoe's morning coffee was enough to turn my stomach and I ran straight to the downstairs toilet.

"Are you alright" Zoe said running in. I was going to reply but before I got the chance to I was lent back over the toilet again. Zoe took hold of my hair and started to rub circles on my back.

"Sam do you want me to get Tom?" Zoe asked.

"No, I'm fine Zoe or well I will be once the Paracetamol kicks in, do you mind getting me some more?" I asked.

"Sure, do you want some anti-sickness tablets too, you have a long shift ahead of you but if I'm honest I think Nick is feeling the same" Zoe said.

"Yes please" I said. Zoe went off the get the tablets I was feeling better so I flushed the toilet and sat on the stairs with my head between my legs for the dizziness.

"Here" Zoe said passing me the tablets and a glass of water.

"Thanks, how are you so sober" I asked.

"Your forgetting this is me Sam, I can drink until I pass out and be fine unlike you, Tom said that you had passed out around 12:30 when we were all heading upstairs which is why you are still in your dress." Zoe told me.

"Was I really that bad" I said rubbing my temples "The last thing I remember was playing truth and dare and Lauren admitting she fancies Jack"

"Oh Sam, sweet innocent Sam the night got much worse after that point but I am going to leave you figure that one out" Zoe said walking off. I went and got Paracetamol for Tom and a glass of water and then went to wake him up its 6:30 and we are meant to be at work by 7 I still need a shower and to get ready and Tom still needs to get up. This is going to be a long day.

I started to tap Tom on shoulders

"Wake up Babe we have only got 20 minutes before we need to leave and that's if you want to drive" I said shaking him instead. He moaned and groaned but eventually he got up.

"There's some Paracetamol and a glass of water there if you require it" I told him walking off to go and have one of the quickest showers even which didn't happen in the end because there was no hot water and I wasn't having a cold one. I walked back into my room where I just throw on my tracksuit. I don't care what they think in the ED I am a mess and that's fact. Tom had also just put on a pair of tracksuit bottoms and a baggy top.

"My head is killing me" I complained.

"Well you did have a bit of a wild one last night" Tom said smiling.

"Tom we didn't, did we?" I ask worried.

"What you really can't remember?" Tom questioned walking over to me and taking hold of my waist.

"No, how can you?" I asked letting my head rest on his chest.

"Well for a start I don't even have a headache because I didn't get a look in on the wine as you and your dad drank most of it and Jack unlike you on your first day back decided to stop after 2 glasses of wine and a beer and no Sam we didn't I would never take advantage of you" To said leaning down and kissing my hair.

"Thank you Tom" I whispered.

"I'm going to go wake Amelia up so we can say bye then we better get going as it is 5 to 7 already" Tom said slowly letting go I quickly looked around I knew Amelia had a pair of P'Js here that didn't really look like Pjs that she can wear to nursery as Lauren said don't put here into anything you don't want ruined. We have taken her out in them before, Alice got them for her and we thought it was a cute little outfit but we later learnt they were Pjs but it doesn't matter. Found them. It's a white long sleeve top with pink cuffs and a pink trim around the neck line and it has a picture of a giraffe wearing pink roller-skates and it has the words play time on it in pink letters and then the bottoms are just giraffe print with pink at the bottom of them. She has a indigo Denim jacket here that she can wear over the top. I got it all out with a pair of her white high tops and left it on my bed with a note saying that this is what Amelia is going to where today.

"Bye Millie, Be a good girl for Papa and Nanny is going to pick you up after nursery and then we will come and get you after we have finished work" I tell her with a smile and give her a kiss.

"See ya Mils, make sure you behave and enjoy your surprise, love you" Tom tells her.

"Love you too Daddy and you too Mummy" Amelia replies.

"Love you too baby girl, Papa's not up yet but Zoe is do you want to go down stairs and watch some TV" I asked. Amelia nodded so Tom picked her up and carried her down stairs.

"Morning Guys" Jack called from the kitchen.

"Please don't shout" I said walking into the kitchen.

"Is someone a little bit hung over?" Jack questions.

"Leave it will you we are already late for work, you don't mind giving Millie some breakfast and getting her ready for nursery do you? Her stuff is on my bed. Dad was meant to be taking her but by the looks of things he is not going to be up in time" I asked.

"Sure what does she normally eat and what nursery does she go to" Jack asked.

"Just give her cereal or something we normally cook pancakes or have boiled egg and stuff of the sort but don't worry too much as you kinda also need to make her packed lunch oh and she just goes to the one at the school down to road" I told Jack and placed a kiss on his cheek.

"Why is it when I come home I get used to do all this stuff" Jack questions.

"For a start Sam and Nick wouldn't be in the state they are right now if you weren't home as they wouldn't have been drinking but on the other hand I think they much prefer being drunk and having you here than being boring old farts and you still missing also just for the heads up Lauren is Amelia's teacher." Tom told Jack passing him a piece of paper "This is my mum's number may come in handy"

"Thanks and I do believe you are right about them two. Keep an eye on her for me yer" Jack said smiling.

"I am standing right here" I growled at them.

"She is one moody cow when she is hung-over so just be glad you are not going to be with her" Tom joked.

I slapped Tom and walked off to give Amelia a kiss before we left.

"Told you so" Tom said walking off.

(Jack's POV)

I couldn't help but chuckle at them. They have the perfect relationship, no matter what they get along and see the funny side of things and they have Amelia, I am so happy for Sam as she deserves the best and as much as I want to talk to her about what I read last night I don't want to upset her any more. I read some more this morning a few days after the entry last night she was writing about how she had done it again but this time is want as bad and she could hide it so she did she wore long sleeve tops and carried on as normal. She wrote about no one knowing that she had done it again and how teachers at school would moan at her for wearing long sleeves and she was fighting with them to let her where her winter P.E kit saying that her summer one didn't fit her anymore and they didn't have the money to get a new one which all the teachers knew was a lie but they gave in eventually and let her wear it as she said if they didn't she wouldn't do the lesson and she would stop playing football for them which they didn't want as they told her many a times she was the best player the school had ever seen. So the school let her carry on using the winter uniform in the summer so no one found out.

I heard the front door slam so I guess it's time to get Amelia ready especially as I don't drive so I will have to walk her to nursery.

"Amelia" I called through to her.

"Yes Uncle Jack" She called back. She is so polite Tom clearly raised her well and she took to Sam amazing, Sam told me about her little life and I feel sorry for the poor girl but at least she will always have Tom and no hopefully Sam as well.

"Papa is still in bed so I'm going to get you ready and take you to nursery, what do you want for breakfast" I asked.

"Can I have some chocolate spread on toast, please" She asked.

"Sure thing, I get it ready and bring it to you what do you want to drink" I asked.

"A glass of milk please" She asked.

"I'll bring it though when the toast is ready" I said walking back to the kitchen. I got out some bread and put it in the toaster then took out some more and made her a chicken and sweetcorn sandwich, there is some fruit salad in the fridge so I put some into a pot for her and I give her a yogurt and there is some fruit puree tubes so I put those in and I also have a quick raid of the kitchen to see if there is a chocolate bar or something for a treat I come across the chocolate spread and some chocolate rice crispy bites so I put two into a pot and then into her lunch box. The toaster popped so I sorted out her breakfast poured a glass of milk and took it to her.

"Here you go Amelia, I need to go get changed. Once you have finished come upstairs so I can get you dressed" I told her with a smile.

"Okay Uncle Jack" She replied tucking into her toast.

"Jack I need to go into work, I have left a message for your Dad but it is probably best not to wake him will you be alright with Millie?" Zoe asked.

"I will be fine and trust me I won't be waking him any time soon" I chuckled heading off upstairs "Cya" I called after her.

Once upstairs I had a big problem as not many of these clothes where likely to fit my as it has been 14 years since I wore them I pull out a pair of jeans that expect to fit and lucky enough they do just have an issue trying to find a t-shirt as most of them I would not wear and wonder why I ever would of so I just had to settle for one of my khaki t-shirts worn under my uniform it has The Royal Regiment of Wales crest on and also my title 'Sergeant Major Jack E Nicholls' underneath the crest. I also have a pair of old Khaki converse that I used to wear all the time they are dirty and full of holes but I don't mind I'll wear them for now until I can get some new ones.

"Uncle Jack" Amelia calls from the top on the stairs.

"Come on then, let's see what you are wearing today" I told her pointing to Sam's room. She went in first and I followed. I got her changed and then we went back downstairs it was 8 o'clock so I asked if we were good to go then she told me that Sam does her hair every morning and I need to do it but I need to make it look pretty… I haven't put anyone's hair up since I used to do Sam's for her as a joked when we were younger; this is going to be interesting. I put her hair into a simple high ponytail then I took some of her hair and tied it around the hair bubble so it looked like her hair was tied up by her hair.

"Right done, I have my phone, keys, wallet your lunch anything I'm forgetting?" I asked Amelia before we left.

"Nope" She said. I opened the door and Amelia skipped down the steps on to the tiny patch of grass Dad has outside. I locked up and took Amelia's hand.

"You're going to have to show me the way I have forgotten as I haven't been here in so long" I told Amelia. She nodded.

"That's because you're a Hero like Daddy and Mummy but you're a Hero to all the people in the news" Amelia said simply.

"Who told you I was a hero?" I asked.

"Mummy did we were watching the news on day and then Mummy got all upset and Daddy came in and turned off the news. It was about a lot of Hero's who were going home. I asked Mummy why she was upset and she told me that I have an Uncle Jack who is a hero and that she hasn't seen you in a very long time." Amelia explained.

"Well your Mummy is right but like you said they are Hero's too as they help people over here, what way is it now?" I asked her she pointed left so we turned down the road and then I could see the school in front of us which was lucky I guess as it is 8:30 and she was meant to be there already. I didn't think we would make it so I picked up Amelia and placed her on my solders.

"Alright up there" I asked.

"Yes Daddy carries me up here all the time" She replies. I picked up the pass and we made it to the nursery at about 8:35 where one of the teachers decides to stop me.

"Amelia needs to sign in first before she can go and take her seat for the register and she will also be marked down as late if you want to let her parents know"

"Sure whatever, Amelia sign in and then you can go sit down, Cya later have a good day" I say putting her down on the floor.

"Okay Uncle Jack, Bye I am going to Nanny's after Nursery" She told me while signing in.

"Amelia hurry up this is no time to talk you are late enough as it is" The teacher says.

"Look I know you are a teacher here but that is no way to talk to a 4 year old it isn't her fault she is late it is mine as I took a wrong turning to get to the nursery and I'm sorry" I told the teacher.

"And that is no way to talk to me Mr…" The teacher starts.

"Nicholls its Sergeant Major Nicholls actually" I reply and someone has walked over.

"I… I'm Sorry I didn't realise" The teacher mumbled.

"Jack what are you doing here I thought Nick was dropping her off" Lauren asked.

"Yer about that well he is um feeling a bit worse for wear so I took it upon myself to drop Amelia off but she was 5 minutes late if that because I took a wrong turning and if I'm honest with you this town is nothing like it used to be." I explained.

"I understand and your telling me I still get lost sometimes" Lauren says. "Miss Andrews mark Amelia as on time, I will explain later" Lauren shouts over to the teacher doing the register and she nods. "Now Jack I know you're most likely busy but I was going to ask Nick but as you are here instead would you mind helping us out today as we are taking them on a surprise trip to a local farm" Lauren asks.

"Sure, sounds like fun. I will just phone up Tom's Mum and tell her she doesn't need to collet Amelia as I am going to be around also you might want to put her in some wellington boots or something as she was white shoes on" I said.

"Will do and we will be leaving in about 10 minutes so you don't have to rush" Lauren explains.

"Thanks" I said walking off to ring Tom's mum. The other Teacher just giving Lauren the evils the whole time.


	72. Chapter 72

_**AN - Thanks for all the reviews guys :D - Off out to see if we can find any Puffin's this is going to be interesting... - Enjoy**_

(Jack's POV)

"Hey Tom" I said as soon as he picked up the phone.

"Jack is everything alright?" I questions.

"Yes it's just they are going on a trip to a farm and they have asked me to go so I was trying to get a hold of your mum to tell her to not worry about picking up Amelia as I will already be at the nursery but I had no luck so I was wondering if you could try" I said there was a long pause but it all made sense when I heard Sam in the background having a go at someone called Lillie she was going to bite her head off by the sound of it Tom was trying to calm Sam down while another one was trying to calm Lillie down then the other voice shouted at Tom to take Sam to see Harry.

"Look Jack sorry about all that but I need to go and sure I'll try and get a hold of her, she is not the easiest of people to get a hold of" Tom said.

"Who's Harry?" I asked.

"The other Lead Consultant for when your Dad's away or off but he normally does the night shifts" Tom explained.

"Well tell Sam I said good luck and don't go losing your job and also thanks, I better let you go before she bites another person's head off" I said.

"Will do and no problem mate, I hope it is not mine next" Tom replies hanging up. I put my phone back into my pocket.

Well it looks like Sam's in trouble but why does that not surprise me…

"Uncle Jack" I hear Amelia shout so I turn around and notice all the children standing in pairs in a line with Lauren at the front the horrible teacher at the end and miss Andrews in the middle by Amelia. There are some other parents around as well so I decide to walk over to Lauren and see where she wants me.

"Sergeant Major Nicholls Reporting for duty Ma'am" I say as a joke it makes Lauren laugh and a parent who over heard it giggled as well it a shame she doesn't understand it really.

"Well we are waiting for the coach but you can go and wait by Amelia and keep her company" Lauren says.

"Ma'am Yes Ma'am" I said and walked off and Lauren just laughed.

"Jack please don't do all that all day or I'm afraid I might have to get the farmer to lock you in the barn" Lauren called to me.

"Yes Ma'am I understand" I said as a joke and looked back and could see Lauren shaking her head.

"Amelia what's your partner called" I asked.

"This Is Ellie, she is my best friend" Amelia said.

"Hi" Ellie replied.

"Hey Ellie, I'm Jack Millie's uncle" I told her.

"Jack, Millie said you're a hero" Ellie said.

"I am in a way" I told her.

"That is so cool" Ellie replied. I just laughed and the two girls chatted among themselves for a while. Until the coach arrived. The coach driver apologised for being late but there was an accident on the ring road and he couldn't get through.

"When you get on the coach go all the way to the back and take a seat leave the middle seat at the back empty though" Lauren explained. She stood at the front while all the teachers, children and parents climbed after each parent she explained who they were so we have had Madison and Sienna's Mum, Cameron's Mum, Emily's Dad and Zac's Mum. I was the last one on the coach.

"This is Jack, Amelia's Uncle" Lauren said and went to take her space at the back of the coach the only seat left was at the front by Miss Andrews. She is a very beautiful woman and she seems to be very kind from what I have seen and heard she is of average height and has long wavy dark hair. I take a seat next to her.

"How do you know Lauren?" she asked.

"Sam, Amelia's mum is my sister and she went to school with Lauren and well they used to hang out all the time" I explained.

"Oh right I wondered why them seemed close" She replies. "Do you know why she didn't want me to mark Amelia in late?"

"Well umm I don't know how to say this or how you're going to react" I said a bit confused.

"Just give it your best shot Sergeant" she said.

"So you have noticed my top them?" I questioned.

"Of course and you are so brave going out to fight for us" She said.

"Well I don't any more, I used to and I have been with the army since I was 18 and I spent my first year fighting with a few week breaks back in Holby but me and my troops got taken hostage I have recently been freed after 14 years and I've only been back in Holby for 2 days and well I kind of got lost trying to find the nursery as it has changed so much around here" I explained.

"Wow that must have been tough but you know what you should be proud that no matter what you never gave up on your troops and you are so brave to just tell me that. I'm not from Holby so I can't comment on how it has changed as I'm from Cardiff but I got a bit fed up of the hustle and bustle of the city life so moved down here. By the way it's Olivia" She said smiling.

"Well nice to meet you Olivia and thank you I had never thought of that I used to feel ashamed and as if I had let me troops down but you are right I should be proud." I smiled and she just smiled and rubbed my hand.

"We are here, No rushing to get off the coach please as you will all get off its just we got front to back don't we" Lauren explained walking down to bus and smiled when she noticed Olivia's hand on mine.

We were off the coach and then spilt into 3 groups with a farmer for each group I was with Lauren as that's whose group Amelia was in. we had Marc with us he was mainly the dairy farmer but he was going to show us around and we will all meet up at the farm house for lunch at 12 so that the children can wash their hands and go to the toilet. We weren't long into the day when Marc took us to a barn where there was about 24 calves the children all ran over to them and started stroking them and what not. Marc then got out a bottle of milk and started to feed one of the calves and explained that baby cows are actually called heifers he told us lots more facts about the young cows while he let each of the children have a go at feeding the calf.

It was nearly 12 by the time we had left the barn so we made our way over to the farm house. All the children took it in turns to wash their hands and then get there lunch box out and have their lunch. I went and sat by Lauren I didn't have anything to each but I wasn't too bothered as I grew used to not eating while I was away.

"She is single you know" Lauren said.

"What?" I tried to act like I didn't know what she meant.

"Olivia, she is single" Lauren repeated herself and winked.

"Alright thanks for the information not sure why I needed to know though" I tried to act innocent.

"Whatever want a bite?" Lauren asked holding her sandwich. I shook my head "I'm alright and besides you're eating for 2" Lauren just laughed and got up. Olivia came over to see if I was alright next.

"Hey Jack, wait you don't mind me calling you that right" She asked.

"No its fine, you alright" I said.

"Yep we have just seen the horses they must be so strong as they use them to crush apples" Olivia said. I chuckled.

"Well we just saw and fed the baby cows which by the way there really names are heifers" I said.

"Aww that must have been so cute" Olivia replied. I just chuckled again. Olivia then got out a bottle of water.

"Can I have a bit of that Lauren asked me this morning so I have nothing on me" I asked.

"No be my guest" Olivia said passing me to bottle. We both had a drink and she wouldn't stop until I had finished her banana because as she was eating it I tried to take a bite without her noticing but it didn't go down well and I ended up being told to eat it.

"Do you want to come out for a drink sometime?" I asked her.

"Sure but why don't you be my +one to Lauren's baby shower?" Olivia replied.

"When is it?" I questioned.

"On Saturday at her house then maybe we can go for a walk in the park or whatever" Olivia said. I smiled and nodded then got up to go and see if Amelia had eaten her lunch as I wasn't sure if I had given her too much.

The children had all finished their lunch so we reformed our groups and headed off to our next stop. We went to see the horses then sheep and our last stop was the pigs. We spent a while with the pigs just because it was out last stop and we decided we would just go sit on a field not so far away from them.

"Where are the giraffes?" Amelia asked. Me, Lauren and Marc all started laughing.

"I can see you like giraffe's but they don't tend to live on a farm in Holby" Marc said.

"Millie I thought Mummy and Daddy have just taken you to the zoo to see them?" Lauren asked.

"No that was ages ago and why don't they live in Holby" She asked.

"I'm not sure next time you see some why don't you ask then" Lauren said now why don't we play a game how about What's the time Mr wolf and I think we should let Jack be the wolf"

"I haven't played this game in ages so don't blame me If I forget how to play" I said simply getting in place all the kids lined up and shouted what's the time Mr Wolf. We had played a round and once they were close enough I turned around a said it was dinner time so they all started running back when I caught Amelia I picked her up and started spinning her pretending to eat her up.

"Mind if our group joins in?" Olivia asks.

"Sure but I think Amelia is the wolf" Lauren laughed. We got both of the groups in place and Amelia started her round and I sat back with Olivia while Lauren and the other parents where cheering them on.

"So this baby shower on Saturday" I said.

"What about it" Olivia asked.

"Well I'm going to need to go shopping as I have nothing to where what so ever, fancy coming with me?" I asked.

"I would but I'm at work tomorrow and then there is only Saturday left" Olivia says.

"What time does it start?" I asked.

"3" Olivia told me.

"Well we can go in the morning then as we need to buy her a present too, does she know what's she is having?" I asked.

"Yep a little girl and alright I'll meet you at the princess Diana memorial around 10" Olivia replied.

"Sounds like a plan" I said getting up and taking her hands so she was standing too.

"Last round guys as we need to get back to the nursery" Lauren shouted to them so we went over and stood by Lauren I put my arm around Olivia's neck. Nothing was said just all the screams and shouts from the kids mucking about and having fun. We then stopped the game headed over to the farm house to meet Mrs Hall's group and then collect all of the children's things before getting back on to the coach and heading back to the nursery.


	73. Chapter 73

**_AN - You mentioned you wanted Amelia's mum to come back, I had this idea I wanted to include her for a while but didnt think you lot would be interested but since it was mentioned I thought I would bring her in I wrote 3 different chapters and I think this one sums up the image I have of her the best, sorry its been a while but I am stupidly busy right now and things wont be getting any less hectic now the schools are back if anything they will get worse as I have loads of training to do. right I would tell you to enjoy the chapter but I really don't think you will... _**

"Sam, This is Amy Reynolds she is 29 and claims she was looking for her daughter when she feel out of a tree at the local school. Stats all normal queer broken leg and the cut on her face needs stitching also has abrasions and lacerations all down her arms and body they will need to be cleaned" Norman explained.

"Right I'm on it cubicle 6 is empty, I will phone x-ray and book a slot as they have been busy today" I say picking up the phone and organising it. I then headed over to Amy.

"Right Amy you have an x-ray slot in 30 minutes so for now I am going to check you over and stitch up that cut and I would also like you to explain why you were up a tree looking for your daughter" I said as I studied the cuts on her arm. "You have some grit in that cut I will have to take that out and dress the wound"

"I was looking for my daughter what more do you need to know why I was in the tree is neither here nor there I want to see my daughter and her father" Amy replied.

"Well there is no next of kin registered on the system so unless you tell me who they are that isn't going to happen now is it" I snapped. I just don't understand why she was in a tree it so confusing any normal parent would walk into the school to look something just doesn't seem right.

"Well I can't tell you I'm sorry as unless I find her myself I know her father will not let me anywhere near her" Amy tells me.

"Well Amy I'm sorry but I cannot help you, now if you stay still for me I can remove the grit and dress this wound while I am waiting for the aesthetic to kick in, you will feel a slight scratch" I explain injecting the drug around her cut to numb it from stitching. I have removed all of the grit and just started to stitch up her cut big mac appeared.

"Here to take Amy for her x-ray" Big mac said.

"One minute I have nearly finished the stitching" I replied and big mac nodded.

"I have a messaged from Tom he needs to speak with you as soon as and he is on a break now if you are free" Big mac recited the message.

"All finished with the stitching" I said taking off my rubber gloves and putting them into the bin. "Is he in the staffroom?"

"Aye, Should I take Amy now" Big mac asked.

"Yes please, come and find me when you bring her back if I am not already in cubicles" I said walking off.

"Right off we go then" I heard Big mac saying as I walked towards the staffroom. I could see Tom had just boiled the kettle.

"Fancy making me one of those?" I asked sneaking up on him and wrapping my arms around his waist.

"That depends on whether you want dinner at my Mum's, she wants to see Amelia, says she has something for her" Tom replied.

"Doesn't she have Amelia already?" I asked.

"No she is with Jack he went on their surprise trip and it made sense for him to just take her back home afterwards as he was there but Mum says she has something for Amelia and wants to know sooner rather than later so she can buy something" Tom says passing me a cup and I go and sit on the sofa.

"Sure, it will be a change of scenery I guess" I said. Tom came over and sat next to me and I leant into his chest.

"I forgot how nice drinking coffee is after a night of drinking" I commented.

"Didn't you have one this morning?" Tom asked.

"No I was going to but when I smelt Zoe it turned my stomach and well you can guess what happened next" I said simply.

"That's odd" Tom replied.

"You're telling me I must have just drank way to much as to be honest this is the first think I have had today other than water I just haven't felt up to it" I told him.

"Sammy" Tom wined.

"What?" I said innocently.

"You need to eat alright so we are going to my Mum's and I'm going to get her to cook us a roast with all the trimmings just like at Christmas" Tom said.

"You have got to be kidding I can't eat that much" I said rolling my eyes.

"Well you are going to have to" Tom replied giving me a kiss on the forehead and leaving. I finished my coffee and stood up but a sudden cramp shot through my abdomen so I had to grab the breakfast bar for support.

"You alright Doc?" Big mac asked.

"I'm Fine thanks just a bit tired, I take it Amy's back from x-ray, have you got her results?" I asked.

"Aye she is back and here you go Doc" Big mac said passing me an envelope.

"Thanks" I said walking off to the receptions to put the results on the screen. It's a simple break just got the plaster it up and it will take about 8 weeks to heal but something doesn't seem right I still don't understand why she was in the tree looking for her daughter. I mean any normal parent would wait on the ground. I want to phone the police because it doesn't seem right and I don't want some woman staring into Amelia's class but then again I can't phone the police as there is nothing to say she doesn't have a daughter at the school. Why are some cases so farfetched they become more hassle then they are worth?

"Penny for your thought?" Tom said which caused me to jump. "Woah Babe I didn't mean to scare you"

"Sorry Tom just thinking about this patient, how she got this makes no sense" I said taking it off of the projector.

"It's a simple break, how doesn't it make any sense?" Tom asked confused.

"It's not the break it's her story she claims she fall out of a tree while looking for her daughter" I explained.

"Where was the tree?" Tom asked.

"At the school, I am really worried because she could be a murder or anything and she is hanging around outside Amelia's nursery" I said starting to shake. Tom wraps his arms around me protectively.

"Hey, it's alright. I'll talk to her see if I can get anything out of her, what's her name?" Tom said stroking my stomach.

"Amy, she is in cubicle 6" I told him.

"Right well I'm going to go talk to her you go get a drink and try to calm down alright baby" Tom said spinning me round in his arms. He leant down and kissed my hair I then went to kiss him before we were interrupted by Big mac.

"Get a room you two"

We just broke apart smiling and Tom went off to see Amy while I went and got a drink of water.

(Tom's POV)

"Hello Amy, I'm doctor…." I started but was stopped as soon as I noticed who it was.

"Kent, Tom Kent" Amy finished my sentence.

"What are you doing in Holby, in fact what are you doing anywhere near here" I questioned her in an angry tone.

"Well incase you hadn't noticed my leg is broken and I'm waiting for the other doctor to come back Sam I think she said her name was she gave me some sob story about how she is a parent of a child at the school and was horrified to find out I had been sat in the tree watching the school for the whole day well right up until around 2:30 when a bird decided to land in the tree and its shocked me so I fall" Amy Said causally like it was a normal thing to do.

"Well believe it or not that doctor so happens to be my partner and that's our child she is worried about which so happens to actually biologically be your child yes Amelia but Sam has been more of a mother to her then you and she will be her Mum forever you are not coming anywhere near her again alright end of discussion" I told her with anger still thick in my voice.

"Tom I asked you to have a word with her not have a go at her" Sam said walking in.

"Well Babe what If I told you that Amy here was sat in the tree hoping to get a glimpse of Amelia our precious little Amelia who wouldn't hurt a fly well Sam what would you say" I asked.

"Tom I don't understand, why would she want Amelia?" Sam questioned.

"I believe she was out to kidnap Amelia and hold her against me as that is one of the sick and twisted things that she would do for example like running from her daughter well if you can say that while she was fighting for her life in ICU and never once hearing from her right up until this point 4+ years on" I spat out the last few words.

"You, you are Amy" was all Sam could say.

"Well no shit Sherlock you have been treating me for the last hour and well tom you have moved on but I can't say she is worth your time oh and that daughter of OURS yes I mean Mine and Yours or did you forget I gave birth to her well, I'm going to go to court and fight for her she will be mine once again well for about a week until I take her to America and sell her off as a sex slave, I need the money you see and I already know a few people interested especially one of my many partners is waiting for a child for you see I was with him and became pregnant but I miss carried and I haven't been able to conceive since so you see I am back for my daughter" Amy said as if it was nothing, Sam was in the corner shaking and with tears streaming down her face.

"YOU ARE A DISGRACE TO THE HUMAN KIND AND YOU WILL NEVER GET HER BACK NOT AS LONG AS I'M AROUND. YOU ARE A BITCH AND MY DAUGHTER, MINE AND SAM'S DAUGHTER HAS BEEN THROUGH ENOUGH ALREADY JUST YOU WAIT AND SEE SHE IS NOT GOING ANYWHERE" I shouted at her and then Harry came round the corner.

"What is going on in here the whole department heard you shouting Tom and what is wrong with Sam?" Harry demanded to know.

"Amelia, she wants to take Amelia off of me and Sam, she is Amelia's mother but she doesn't want her to be all nice and motherly she wants her to sell" I said and the tears rolled down my face.

"You always where a whimp and I don't know why I ever chose you but oh well times as changed I mean look at you you're a wreck you have a girlfriend who is worse and well I guess your whole relationship is a mess which is no place to bring up my child" Amy said.

"WHAT IS GOING ON" Harry demanded to know. Security had turned up now and where waiting outside the cubicle, the police were also present in the building at the time which helped matters.

"As your doctors are too ignorant to tell you I will. I am Tom's ex his daughter Amelia mum and I plan on taking Tom to court to get custody of her and then fly her out the buyers waiting in America, simple really but you see that was not my original plan oh no, I was going to kidnap her from the school and just take her away but I fall out of the tree before such time arrived so I had to re-think it but I can make up any old shit on Tom like how he fails to look after Amelia because of his high stress job and once he returns home at the end of the day he takes all his anger out on her just like his father used to do to him" Amy said calmly.

"Cuff her, wait with her until the police have her, get a nurse to plaster her leg then I want her in a cell, locked up" Harry said. "Tom, Sam go wait in my office now"

"What are you going to get me locked up for, they crimes I did in America all the children I have helped to be sold well guess what you have no evidence on me only that fact that I can tell you right now that my name is Amy Reynolds and I am 29 years old and belong to one of the biggest children prostitution gangs in America, helping to sell off children and even setting them up for rape but you have nothing to back up I just said that so think again about getting me locked up because I am very convincing" Amy told Harry. Sam had already been escorted out by this point but I was not leaving until she was in cuffs.

"Miss Reynolds we are arresting you for child prostitution acts, you do not need to remain silent but anything you do say will be held against you in the court of law" The DCI said cuffing her. "I would like to add we have many witnesses to your recent statement and it has been written down"

"You got the cops in here didn't you, you have ruined my life once again but I have you know I won't go down for this Tom I will fight it and Amelia will be mine one day" Amy shouted after me as me and harry both walked to his office in silence.


	74. Chapter 74

_**AN - just a short one today, I have been feeling ill and I just cant seem to concentrate but hopefully tomorrow I will be feeling better, so this is just a quick one as I couldn't leave it from yesterdays update and I know it was a horrible chapter but I have the worst image of what Amy would be like and that was what best fitted the picture. **_

(Harry's POV)

I never thought the day would come, seeing her like this. Sam is always so strong, so free minded and so capable to treat anyone no matter what I mean she has treated rapist by he self and murders but I guess they were not trying to take her Family away until Amy. What she wants to do is disgusting and I just can't imagine why anyone would want to do such thinks but that is the world we live in nothing makes any sense anymore. The police have told me that they are going to have Amy transferred to a hostel in Manchester were she will be under watch by police 24/7 and if she wants to go out she will have to have police with her, they want to give her a chance to try and be normal and look after herself but they need to keep her well away from any children and well away from Holby they have informed me if there is a single slip up she will be straight to prison until her court hearing which they are hoping to have in a few weeks as she cannot be allowed to roam the streets.

Tom and Sam have calmed down a bit now and Sam is a lot me controlled she obviously feels the relief that Amy is in cuffs. Sam was sat on Tom's lap he was comforting her by rubbing circles oh her back they had both stopped crying when I decided I would break the silence.

"Now that Amy is in police custody she will not be let out of there sight, she is also being taken the Manchester where she will remain for a few weeks until the trial." I explained. Tom nodded.

"Thanks Harry, has she been taken yet?" Tom asked.

"Yes the police are already making their way to Manchester as we speak" I told them.

"I can't believe I was nice to her and why Manchester?" Sam said.

"Sam you weren't to know and is it because her parents now live up there?" Tom asked.

"I didn't know her parents where in Manchester and I don't suppose the police do either. She is being taken to Manchester as it has to closet hostel of its kind" I told them. They both nodded. "They are going to want some witnesses for the court hearing I have offered myself as a witness and so has the security guard who was on duty at the time. I have also organized for two locum doctors to come in for 2 weeks for you both to go and spend some time with Amelia as I know this must be hard for you, if after the 2 weeks you feel you may require more time I will let you as I believe the locums will be more than happy to stay on for longer." I explained.

"Thank you Harry I know you understand as you have children of you own and we will jot abuse the time you have given us off." Tom said.

"Yes, thank you Harry and I am sorry I attacked Dr Chow this morning I have been pre occupied recently and it won't happen again, thank you for the time off". Sam told me.

"Sam, your fathers has told me about the recent changes and I understand that they can be hard to get around especially as the date keeps getting put back but I do believe that once you have had the ceremony and made peace that everything will fall back into place but now with this situation it may not be as simple but only time will tell and I hope you both enjoy the time off spoiler her rotten as she deserves it and Tom not just Amelia but Sam as well" I replied.

"Thank you Harry, for everything I mean it" Sam smiled.

"Don't you worry I won't forgot Sam, I mean for a start how could I she is always there no matter where I turn" Tom joked putting a smile on all of our faces.

"It is up to you two if you would like to stay and finish your shift but I have some locums to organize" I told them walking out of my office.

(End of POV)

"Tom do you think it will be okay?" I asked him standing up.

"Babe, Amy is with the Police miles away and besides I won't let anything happen to Amelia ever or you for that matter now how about we go to my Mum's as she has that big roast prepared" Tom said smiling and giving me a kiss.

We walked hand in hand through the ED to the staffroom where we collected our coats and my bag before we set off on the walk back to Dad's it wasn't a long one and it wasn't going to be a long stay just going to get Amelia and then drive up to Alice's for the evening.


	75. Chapter 75

_**AN - Sorry but updates are going to be less regular now as I have lots of interviews and work training along with doctor appointments and all the rest of it, I left this one short as it was a nice little chapter before another sad one when I can next update hopefully tomorrow but i'm not promising. - Enjoy I liked writing this one :D xx**_

Dinner was great last night at Alice's and just being with Amelia after hearing what Amy had to say about her.

Dad phoned, Mum's ceremony is at 12 at the cliffs. Tom doesn't know this yet as he is still asleep. I am going to go get Amelia's breakfast.

"Millie, come with me downstairs please" I asked walking into her room.

"Okay Mummy" She said jumping up and picking Uno up.

"Lauren is having a party on tomorrow to celebrate her baby I think we should make her some cupcakes and cookies don't you?" I said getting out some cake mixture.

"Can we?" She asked.

"Of course, I have lots of pink sprinkles, icing, butterflies and lots of other pink decorations" I explained pre heating the oven.

"Does that mean she is having a baby girl?" Amelia asked.

"Yep well we are going to cook the cupcakes and cookies now while we get ready for nursery and then after we can decorate them all" I smiled, getting out the mixing bowls and spoons. Amelia was laughing and running around the place we had been making the mixture and having a good only laugh, Amelia went to eat some of the cookie dough but before she could I had picked her up and span her in circles.

"Cookie dough for breakfast, I don't think so" I said taking some and eating it.

"That's not fair" Amelia moaned.

"Let's get the cookie's cut and the cake mixture into the oven and see what we have left over and maybe I will let you have some" I said passing her different cutters including a baby grow, a bottle, a pram, a rattle, dummy, feet and a teddy. Amelia started to cut out some of the dough into the shapes while I quickly spooned the cake mixture into the cases there was 24 cupcakes and god knows how many cookies we will end up with. I went over and helped Amelia as it wasn't to make sure we had the same amount of each shape in the end we got 4 of each which altogether means there was 28. I placed all the trays in the over. I just hope she hasn't asked anyone to make her some as we have made enough to feed a small army and we still have left over cookie dough which Amelia is eating.

"Save some for me greedy" I said walking over to her a leaning over her shoulder and robbing the bowl off of her.

"Well I could say the same to you" Tom said leaning in the doorway yawning.

"Daddy we have been baking cookies and cakes" Amelia shouted running over and pinching some more dough.

"That enough now Millie or you will be sick it's only 6:30 in the morning too early to be eating all the sugary stuff" I told her, she looked grumpy but agreed.

"Babe can you explain why you have been baking at 6:30am" Tom asked.

"Lauren's baby shower tomorrow, if we bake them now it means we have more time to decorate them later, doesn't it Millie" I said smiling.

"Right… I'll let you off for waking me up if you give me some of that dough" Tom said walking in and snaking his arms around me from behind. I pick up a piece and feed it to Tom.

"Mmmm Thanks Babe" Tom said leaning on me.

"Unless you get off of me you are going to be the ne cleaning up" I said wriggling from his grip.

"Amelia do you want some Weetabix while me and Mummy tidy up" Tom asked.

"No thanks Daddy" Amelia said skipping off into the other room.

"Well it looks like it's just me and you then" Tom winked at me and walked over snaking his arms around me and leaning down to kiss me, the kiss lasted a while until I pulled back for air.

"Come on let's getting tidying, I'm drying" I said jumping out of his way and grabbing the tea towel.

"What that's not fair I always have to do the washing" Tom complained.

"Not my fault you are so slow" I told him smiling.

"I could out run you any day Doctor Nicholls" Tom exclaimed.

"I would like to see you try Kent" I said then I whipped him with the tea tower.

"Ouch, every time you do this" Tom said moaning.

"Well you should be used to it by now then" I said trying not to giggle. I started to smell burning so I quickly got out all of the trays and placed the cakes and cookies on cooling racks already out waiting on the breakfast bar. Tom had starting washing up so there were dishes piling up waiting for me to dry them once I had finished placing everything on the racks.

"You could of waited" I said walking over and starting to dry the dishes.

"You should have been ready" Tom said back in a child's voice. I rolled my eyes at him then turn to dry some of the bowls but somehow I ended up with a wet back.

"What was that for" I said once I had dried and put the bowls away.

"For hitting me with the tea towel" Tom told me again I rolled my eyes at him and after about 5 minutes we had finally cleaned all the dishes before I put the tea towel down I whipped Tom across the bum with it then ran off.

"Amelia come on we need to get you dressed" I said running up stairs, Amelia followed. I let Amelia pick her outfit for today she chose a white short sleeve top with a red apple one with the letters ABC around the apple with a red tutu and red spotty leggings. I told her she might be a bit cold so she told me she would where her denim jacket I just laughed and started to get her ready until I found myself in the air being spun in circles.

"Tom stop, I'm going to be sick" I told him while he was spinning me. "Tom please" I told him kicking him. "Please" I said with a single tear falling. Tom put me down when he noticed.

"Sammy, what's up babe, I didn't mean to upset you" he said pulling me into a hug.

"Mummy?" Amelia said looking at me.

"I'm fine, I promise just a bit tired I guess" I told them both moving from Tom and finishing off getting Amelia dressed I then moved on to doing her hair, I put it into a messy ballet bun and then told her to go off and watch some more TV while me and Tom go and get dressed. Amelia headed off down stairs and we went off to get ready.

"Babe are you sure you are alright?" Tom asked.

"Like I said Tom I just tired and these two weeks should make a difference" I told him moving over to my cupboard. I get out a pair of black leggings, black vest top and an oversized burgundy jumper.

"Tom you can't wear that" I told him when he put a green converse t-shirt and brown chinos.

"Why not don't you like it?" He asked.

"It's not that, Dad phoned around 6 telling me that he got a call last night saying Mum's service would be today" I explained.

"Oh Sammy, why didn't you say no wonder you have been feeling a bit emotional this morning" Tom said walking over to me and holding me in a comforting way while rubbing circle's on my back, I let a few tears fall before I moved back and smiled at him.

"Thanks Tom" I whispered.

"It's alright, you know you can tell me anything right" He asked. I nodded.

"I love you Sam, so much" He said.

"I know you do Tom and I love you just as much" I said falling back into his arms. He was stroking my hair.

"Why don't you go down stairs and sort out Amelia's lunch and I will get changed then we can drive up to the nursery" Tom said smiling and kissing my hair. I nodded and got up.

Downstairs I struggled to find something for Amelia's lunch as Friday is shopping day and there is never anything to eat until we have been to the shop. I made her some ham and cheese sandwiches, chopped pepper, cucumber and carrots, some grapes and crisps as a treat.

"Tom, you nearly ready or we are going to be late" I called up after placing her lunch by the door so we didn't forget it. I then got Amelia to go and wait by the door so I can put her shoes on. I put her white converses on and then but on some black ankle boots on.

We got into the car and drove off to the nursery we arrived exactly at half past, I ran Amelia in and Tom waited in the car for us.

"Hey Lauren, quick past by today as it's mum's ceremony at 12 if you can make It feel free to come but if not don't worry also Amelia may be rather hungry later as she refused a proper breakfast and just eat left over cookie dough" I explained.

"Sam I will take an early lunch and will come to the ceremony, you don't mind picking me up on the way do you? Also how has she eaten cookie dough this early?" Lauren questioned.

"Sure thing we will get you is 11:30 alright as it will take 20 minutes to get to the cliffs from here and also don't go there all will become clear tomorrow, now Tom's waiting in the car so I better get going as we need to go shopping first as well, see you at 11:30 then" I smiled.

"Alright and I hope you haven't spent loads of money for the shower tomorrow I better go speak to them to explain I need to take an early lunch, I'll phone you if I can't pull someone's leg, see you" Lauren replied I went over to find Amelia.

"Mille, Make sure you eat lots at snack today please, I've got to go shopping with daddy now so wish me luck, Love you Baby girl" I told her.

"Love you too Mummy, Good luck" Amelia giggled.


	76. Chapter 76

**_AN - Thanks for the reviews eveyone :) This chapter gets rather sad by the end but it is something that needs to be included after all it was put off for ages - Enjoy it please but be warned I cried while writing. _**

We had been shopping which took the normal hour with us as we can never decide what to get but in the end we normally just get everything possible. I have also picked up some white and yellow icing pens for later on and some other different decorations. We have been back to Tom's and put everything away, now we are off to Dad's to see how and when they are leaving. Tom had got into the car and had put the radio on, I had got into the car to Tom tapping is fingers away to the song, I bet he used to love this song I know we did it was all my group ever listened to we were 15 when it came out…

"'Cause I'm just a teenage dirtbag, baby  
Yeah, I'm just a teenage dirtbag, baby  
Listen to Iron Maiden maybe with me" I sang along to the chorus.

"I bet you were a teenage dirtbag" Tom said once I had stopped singing, I playfully slapped him on the arm and told him to drive. We were singling along to the radio well if we knew the songs they put on which was most of them but some we had no clue what it was the next song has to be my all-time favourite because at the time it was so me everything described what was going on in my life.

"And you can't fight the tears that ain't coming  
Or the moment of truth in your lies  
When everything feels like the movies  
Yeah, you bleed just to know you're alive

And I don't want the world to see me  
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand  
When everything's made to be broken  
I just want you to know who I am" I sang along with the song just thinking about around the time this was released it was released when I was 13 but it wasn't until I was 14 when everything started to go downhill that I realised how perfect this song was and still is now.

"Sammy you have a beautiful singing voice have you ever thought of going on the x-factor or Britain's got talent?" Tom asked me.

"What no, I can't sing and besides I'm a doctor and I love it and anyway I'm too old for a career change" I said and then turned away from him.

"But you are amazing, much better than half of the singers these days" Tom carried on.

"But I'm also amazing at what I do now and it's what I have always wanted to do" I said.

"Well I think you're a great singer and yes you are also an amazing doctor but most of all you are an amazing girlfriend and Mum" Tom says rubbing my leg. I just smile at him. We arrived at Dad's 5 minutes later, we got out of the car and Tom had gone over to ring the doorbell.

"Tom, wait" I called over to him. He turned at looked at me and I ran towards him throwing myself at him and wrapping my arms around him and resting my head on his chest.

"What's this for then, normally I have to beg you for a cuddle" Tom joked stroking my hair. I just stayed where I was but leaning up and giving him a kiss.

"Because I love you Tom and I don't say it enough" I told snuggling into him.

"Oh Sammy, you don't need to tell me I know you love me I can see it in your eyes and just waking up to you is enough, I Love you so much alright you are the most beautiful, amazing and feisty young doctor to ever walk this earth and what makes that statement even better is being able to add that you are mine on the end of it now why don't we go in" Tom said kissing my hair.

"Tom just walk in you don't need to ring this is my home remember and if I can just walk into yours you can do the same with mine" I smiled moving back a bit but with my arms still around his waist.

"Well come on then" He said picking me up bridal style and opening the door, he carried me into the front room where he gently placed me on to the sofa and started to Kiss me I was playing with his hair with one hand and holding his neck with the other while my legs where wrapped around his waist. Tom hand one of his hands stroking and messaging my body with the other one on the sofa holding his weight, thinks were getting quite heated, I could feel myself getting very excited and I bet Tom was as well… Well we were until Zoe walked in.

"Seriously you two, it's like you never stop" She said then called up to Dad and Jack to say that we were here. I got up and went into the kitchen to try and hide my embarrassment although I'm not ever sure why it is embarrassing anymore it seems to happen all the time.

(Tom's POV)

"Zoe, Look it isn't easy getting alone time when we have Amelia" I explained.

"You know Tom if you ever wanted to take Sam out all you have to do is ask and I will look after with Nick and Jack we would all be happy to have her overnight if needs be and I'm sure your mum would as well." Zoe said sitting down next to me.

"I know but you all do so much for us already it isn't fair to pile Amelia on to any of you as you look after her when we are on shifts or pick her up from nursery" I said.

"Tom we would all be happy enough to look after Amelia whenever she is an angel it would be a complete different story if she was a brat but she isn't she is all ways so kind and polite. It is you birthday at the beginning of next month why don't you let us watch Amelia so you and Sam can spend the night together after you have spent the day together with Amelia." Zoe said.

"Zoe that would be great" I smiled and Sam walked back in.

"What would be great?" She asked coming over and sitting on my lap.

"If Zoe could organise a follow up appointment for one of my penitents I had yesterday" I lied to her but Sam smiled and brought it. Nick and Jack both walked into the room.

"Sam, are you still up for saying a few words today, if not don't worry about it, it is just so that the priest knows beforehand" Nick asks Sam, Sam nodded.

"Of course Daddy, Also when are you 3 leaving as me and Tom are picking Lauren up on the way she is taking an early lunch" Sam said.

"Right well I organised for a Limo to come and pick us up as there was going to be a lot of s and none of us would be up for diving afterwards so we can get the Limo to stop off close to the school on the way it is arriving here at 11:15 as it should only take 45 minutes to get to the cliff's what time where you going to pick Lauren up at?" Nick asked.

"Around 11:30 we agreed but I can phone and see if she could leave a bit earlier" Sam asked but Nick shook his head saying it was fine.

We all made small talk until the Limo arrived and once again after we had got in, Sam had snuggled up close to me and Zoe was holing Nicks hand. Jack was the one generating the conversation.

(End OF POV)

We had arrived at the school so I quickly jumped out of the Limo and ran around to the car park where I told Lauren we would be meeting her.

"Lauren, over here. There's been a change of plan there is a limo out the front waiting" I called over and she started to waddle over to me. Once back in the limo the small talk began again, mainly about Lauren and the baby.

We arrived at the cliffs just before 12 where we met the priest and then started the climb to the top, half way up the cliff Lauren started to get tired so Tom and Jack supported her and helped to take some of the weight of her feet by holding her up as we walked up.

"Family and friends, we are here today to celebrate the life of Melisa Jordan, Nee Nicholls" The priest began. "Melisa's life was cut short down to a terrible illness but before the illness took over Melisa she was a caring woman who was pushed away from her young children and husband by a terrible event in her family which lead to the beginning of her troubles. I believe that Melisa may never of seemed like she was around for her children but she always cared and she will now look on from heaven to guide them both on their way, Jack and Samantha Nicholls both had a hard relationship with their Mother Melisa and Samantha would like to say a few words before the ashes are scattered." The priest said then gestured me to step forward.

"I would like to start by saying thank you for all being here today for me; I know none of you really wanted to be here but after spending the last few hours of Melisa life with her I learnt a lot about my Mum I never knew before and she had kept these secrets from me and Jack as she didn't not want to upset us. Now I know She was never the best Mum and was never really around for us she did still care for us as Jack I never mentioned this before but all the money she had in the world she left to help the hero's in the hope that you would one day be found and you were on the day of her original ceremony. I think this is down to her watching over us she told me she would and within those last hours she could not tell me enough how proud she was of both me and Jack and how much she loved us even though she never really showed it. So Mum I would just like to say I do not know you as well as most daughters know their mothers but I know you enough from what you did after you passed that you loved me and you loved Jack you just had some unfinished business you couldn't escape from I am glad I had those chats with you otherwise I would be trapped in my memory with no escape. I can only hope you get the closure you deserve. Good bye Mum I love you and after looking into your eyes I know you love us too" I said now in tears I couldn't carry on so Jack came over.

"I think what Sam is trying to say is that even though our mum found happiness in the bottle she was always thinking about us as like Sam said what she her dying wish was just proved she did know us and about our lives but now she is no longer here but I believe she will watch over us and keep us out of harm's way, goodnight Mum we will miss you" Jack said, pulling me into a hug and escorting us back to the crowd.

"I believe Mr Jordan you want to say some words on why you chose this spot" The priest said. Dad then walked up to where the priest was.

"These cliffs may seem the strangest of places to hold a ceremony in the middle of October but to Jack and Samantha this seems like the perfect place as it is even what Samantha suggested to the directors and with a lot of persuasion we were granted this lovely spot for the ceremony, now you see these cliffs where were we spent most of Jack and Samantha's early years we would come up here most weekends and camp under the stars and then go swimming in the bay the next morning and just spend the weekend away from anyone we knew it was great fun watching both Jack and Samantha grow from strength to strength while being at these cliffs as when we first starting coming Sam was too scared to go into the sea and Jack wouldn't even put the worm on his hook when we went fishing but over the many weekends up here they both changed and overcame there fears so just as Samantha said these cliffs seem like the perfect place for Melisa's memory to live on." Dad said and bowed his head.

"We will now scatter the ashes, Dr Jordan, Jack and Samantha if you wish to take a hand full of the ashes and release them into the air before the rest is scattered" The priest asked. I took hold of Jacks waiting hand and we then met Dad who was alright by the priest we took the hand full of ashes each and Dad said a few words before we let got.

"Sleep tight Melisa, your memory will live on in our hearts" We all let go of our hand full and watched them drift off in the wind the priest then gave the pot to Dad were he scatted them all around the edge of the cliff I was in Jacks arms as we watched the ashes float off in to the world, I plan on getting a bench placed up here in Mum's memory but that will have to wait for now.

We all exchanged hugs and every one of us was crying, Zoe was upset after seeing Dad Cry and the same for Tom but with me an Lauren was genuinely upset as she had met my Mum a few times while she was only tipsy. The priest excused himself as he had another funeral to be at and we stay hand in hand on the edge of the cliff for 5 minutes in silence before we made our way back to the Limo to take Lauren back to work and to drop us off at the local pub for a quick drink in mum's memory.


	77. Chapter 77

**_AN - Managed to write this one quick before I headed off out so sorry if there are any mistakes. I most lickly wont be able to update until next weekend as I am on 9-5 work training mon-thurs and then on fri I am out all day doing team building. I will try my best to get one posted though - Enjoy_**

After the drink we had for Mum, Dad and Zoe had headed off to work and Jack was practicing his flirting with some random lady's in the pub it was quite funny to watch him but me and Tom both explained that he needed some practice after 14 years out of the game.

Me and Tom had to leave to go and collect Amelia as it was nearly 3 already and there wasn't much chance of getting there on time but Lauren wouldn't mind. We shortly arrived at the nursery at around 3:05 and most parents where still around so there was no way they could moan. I had walked over to speak to Miss Andrews when I spotted Amelia.

"Alright baby girl" I asked Amelia smiled and gave me a hug. "Daddy us getting your jacket if you want to go find him" I told her once again she nodded but skipped off to find Tom.

"Miss Andrews, I'm Jack's sister" I said smiling.

"Yes, Sam isn't it what can I do for you?" she asked.

"Just thought I would give you the heads up, he is a rubbish flirter. Don't get me wrong he used to have all the girls chasing him hut he's been out of the game awhile, so just take it slowly please I don't want to see him hurt" I explained.

"Sam, don't worry I knew that anyway, he explained about being held hostage for 14 years so I completely understand where you are coming from and I don't want to rush into anything either so that makes the both of us, I better go Cameron's mum wants a chat, see you tomorrow at Lauren's baby shower" she said.

"Sure, see you then" I told her walking over to Tom and Lauren.

"Lauren how was she after her cookie dough breakfast" I asked.

"She was fine you had nothing to worry about and what was it you wanted to talk to me about?" Lauren asked.

"Nothing its fine now" I said smiling although it wasn't nothing I just didn't want to steal Lauren's lime light.

"As long as you are sure" Lauren said.

"Lauren if I have anything to tell you I will phone you alright" I told her taking Amelia's jacket and lunch box off of Tom so he can pick her up.

"Right well I will see you tomorrow then, Bye" Lauren said waving.

"Yep see ya" I said, Tom and Amelia also said bye and then we made our way home.

"Mummy are we going to finish the cookies when we get home" Amelia asked.

"Yep and the cakes" I told her. She smiled.

"Yay, Daddy can't help though as he will eat all of the icing" Amelia told me.

"I couldn't agree more" I told her giggling.

"Oi you two, I want to help you" Tom said pulling a grumpy face.

"Bu you have things to do" I told him.

"Like what" Tom asked.

"Carrying me home, getting the car from Dad's oh and Dad wanted your help with something but he didn't say what" I told him. He let go of Amelia's hand and pick me up.

"I think I know what you dad wants help with but I guess I will have to wait and see" Tom told me.

"Alright put me down I was only joking, we better get going as those clouds just got grey rather quickly" I said running of after he put me down, he had picked up Amelia and put her on his shoulders and ran after me.

We arrived home just in time as while I was unlocking the door it started to rain.

"Great one I have to walk to your dad's in the rain" Tom complained.

"I'm sure a bit of rain won't kill you" I joked. I took Amelia's shoes of while she was still on Tom's shoulders then I pick her up and put her down "Go wait in the living room I will be 2 minutes" I told her and she skipped of. I pulled Tom closer to me; he wrapped his arms around me and lent down to kiss me.

"I love the fact that you have to stretch to kiss me I think it's really cute" Tom said picking me up and placing me on the slaves by the door so I was the same height as him. I just took a hold of his shirt and snuggled into it.

"It's not my fault you're related to the green giant" I said while snuggling into him. Tom just chuckled and rubbed my back.

"You have been very clingy recently are you alright" Tom asked. I moved my head away from his chest.

"Sorry I didn't mean to annoy you with it" I told him then looked away.

"Babe, I didn't mean it like that, I like it in fact just being able to sit down and cuddle you but it isn't you" Tom said.

"I sorry Tom I just feel really emotional at the moment and its comforting to be in your arms" I said then looked away.

"Don't be sorry, I love you and if you feel like you need to have a cuddle or whatever I am always here for you just come over and find me I won't mind stopping whatever I'm doing to give you a cuddle" Tom said then gently moved my face so I was looking at him then he lent down and gave me a peck on the cheek "Whenever you want a chat and a cuddle or just to be with me, come and find me or if I'm somewhere else just ring I will always be here for you"

"Thank you Tom" I snuggled into him. He just rubbed my back in circles. This went on for a few minutes until Tom's phone rang. So I let him go so he could answer it.

"Hello"

"Oh Nick, Sam did say you wanted to see me. I will be on my way in a minute"

"No it's fine I will walk"

"Yep, Right see you shortly"

And tom hung up.

"Right Babe, your Dad wants me and I believe Amelia wants you" Tom said picking me up and placing me back on the floor.

"Tom I love you, don't be long please" I said.

"Sammy, I won't and don't forget I'm only ever a phone call away, I love you too" Tom said and I could feel myself wanting to cry but I kept it together for him otherwise he would never f left. I throw him a fake smile and he just gave me a quick hug.

I walked into the living room, "Let's get these cakes ready" I said to Millie and she jumped up straight away and ran into the kitchen.

"Millie you need to wash your hands" I told her walking over to the sink to wash mine she then came over to do it once I had done mine I got all of the icing and decorations out and we made a start on the cakes as there was less of them I split the batch in half so Amelia could decorate 12 however she wanted and I did the other 12, I put a layer of white icing on each cake and then decorated 4 with a pink letter on each to spell out Girl and with some buttons by the letters and then on the other 8 I paired them up and on one set I cut out a pink pram from icing and put it on, the next set had a little pink glittery butterfly and 3 buttons on, the next set I had made two little pink feet for each cake and then the last set I made a little pair of pink shoes with flowers on. Once I had done them and put them into the box I went over to the breakfast bar where Amelia was, she had put a pink swirl of icing on each cake and was now putting different decorations on them some had little sliver peal drops, sprinkles, butterflies, edible glitter, flowers, hearts and mini marshmallows. She was having so much fun I didn't want to interrupt her but I knew if I didn't they would end up with too much icing on them no one would want to eat them.

"Millie, let's put them into the box and do the cookies now" I told her she nodded and helped me place them into the special cake box.

I gave Amelia 14 of the cookies to ice which meant we each had 2 of each shape, I decorated each shape the same as its partner. The baby grows I did pink with a white outline and with 3 white hearts on in a line I did the same for its partner but reversed the colours, the bottles I did white but with a pink neck where you screw the top on and with pink markers as to how much milk is in the bottle, the prams I did pink but with a white handle, sunshade, wheels and spots, the rattle I did pink but with a white handle and it's a girl written in white on the main part, the dummies I did white with a pink ring, the feet where pink and the teddies I did white with a pink bow on them. I had placed them all into a tin and then when over to Amelia she had made most of hers pink but 3 where white she must of ran out of pink icing she had also put some of the various decorations on them once she was finished I told her she could go and watch TV while I tidied up and started tea.

Once she had left I put the radio on as music always help me work harder.

(Tom's POV)

I have been at Nicks for 2 and a half hours now trying to remove everything from his office It wasn't an easy task it was 5:30 and I knew Sam would be getting tea ready so I excused myself and told Nick I would be back tomorrow but if I didn't head home Sam would be worrying I had explained about how she was behaving and he too said It was very strange and I needed to keep a close eye on her and I agreed to.

Once home I noticed Amelia playing with her dolls in the front room so it must have meant Sam was in the kitchen so I went over and waiting in the door way just watching and listening to her.

"I can't hide  
what I've done  
Scars remind me  
Of just how far that I've come  
To whom it may concern  
Only run with scissors  
When you want to get hurt" Sam Sings along while chopping up the potatoes for her homemade chips.

I sneak up behind her making sure that the knife if on the counter before I touch her just in case she turns around and holds the knife to me.

"Aright beautiful?" I ask placing my hands on her shoulders.

"Tom how many times, don't scare me like that" She said giggling.

"Your laughing so you weren't really scared" I said moving back so that I was leaning on the breakfast bar next to where she was sorting out the potatoes. She playfully slaps me then goes to lower the radio down.

"That song described you so perfectly and the way you sang it was just beautiful" I said once she had come back over. She just blushed and ignored me finishing the chips off she had put them into the oven when she came back over to me with a glass of wine and handed it to me she then started to move her hips and dance along to Shakira, she was amazing at it she looked so sexy, I would of never imagined her belly dancing but she did and was doing it in front of me, I got very excited watching her do it as she was so sexy and seducing and there was no way to hide what had happened and once she had noticed she stopped.

"So you liked that then" She said coming over and running her hands along my body.

"Maybe" I lied. Taking hold of her waist.

"Don't lie Tom I can see you did, I mean I aint going to say anything in fact it's kind of nice knowing that I can turn you on" She said jumping up I caught her and was now holding her by her bum, and pulling her closer to my body, she let go and wrapped her legs around my waist then she started to play with my hair and tease me by rubbing my chest and kissing me. I had one hand holding her up and the other one holding her face, I span her around so she was sat on top of the breakfast bar so I had to hands to use and I started to take of her chunky jumper so that I had better access to her slim body. Once her jumper was off I was playing around with her and I started to tickle her when she pulled away and gasped in pain.

"Babe what's up, I didn't mean to hurt you" I told her taking her free hand she had the other one on her side.

"Tom, when you got my side it sent this wave of pain through my abdomen and I really don't know why" Sam said looking like she was about to cry. I lifted up her vest top to have a look; I examined her abdomen and then looked to her side where it happened, I noticed a new bruise that was forming.

"Sammy you have a big bruise on your side no wonder it hurt, how did it happen?" I asked.

"I don't know, I walked into the corner of a counter at Dad's but I didn't think anything of it" She said confused.

"That is very logical and you had lots of other things on your mind today" I told her placing a kiss on her forehead then walking over to the freezer to get an ice pack I wrapped it up in some kitchen roll then took it over and held it to the bruise, Sam gasped in pain at first but then once used to it she took it off of me and held it herself.

"Thanks Tom, can you check the Chicken curry for me please" Sam asked. I nodded and went to oven to check the curry was cooked but the chips still needed a few minutes.

"It looks ready but a few minutes more on the chips" I told her getting out 3 plates and some cutlery.

"Can you put a tin of peas on for me they only take a few minutes?" Sam asked. I nodded and got some out of the cupboard and then got a pan.

5 minutes later everything was ready and on the table so I went to go get Amelia, Sam was already sat at the table waiting for us two.


	78. Chapter 78

_**AN - Okay so I finished my training early today so I wrote this chapter for you :) - its not very long but it has plays a big part in the story - Enjoy **_

We had been up for a few hours making sure that we had wrapped the presents for Lauren and Dean we got them a few things, A pale pink me to you changing bag with a matching changing mat, a few nappies, a packet of wipes, various different sized pink bottles, me to you comforter, two pink dummies and a pink me to you 7 piece set. We also got her a me to you cutlery set and from Amelia we picked a me to you baby keep sake book.

After making sure that everything was wrapped, cards written we went off to have a shower and get ready, Tom had the first shower while I sorted out what Amelia was going to where, I chose her a black and pink 2-in-1 dress the top half was a black leotard and the bottom was a as pink Tutu

I also picked some black leggings as she would of been cold otherwise she has a little pink cardigan that Alice knitted her it was the same colour as the tutu so she can wear that as well.

"Tom is she nearly finished in there, I need to have a shower as well" I called.

"Almost, just need to wash the shampoo for her hair" Tom called back so I made my way to our room where I struggled to find something to wear, Lauren had asked everyone to wear something pink and well pink is not a colour I wear often. Tom had returned just with a towel wrapped around his waist and Amelia with one wrapped around her body and one around her hair.

"Tom, her clothes are on her bed can you dress her and dry her hair, remember you need to wear pink" I said before I headed off to have a shower. Once in the bathroom I stripped off to just my underwear and looked at myself in the full size mirror paying close attention to my stomach and then the bruise on my side, Tom wasn't exaggerating it was quite bad but soon my thoughts went back to my stomach I couldn't help but notice it wasn't flat anymore but it wasn't big either I would say I have out on a few pounds but after all since being back in Holby I have been eating 3 meals a day most days which makes a change from when I was in Afghanistan. After reflecting on it for a while and deciding I would go talk to Zoe about it next week sometime when Tom is busy and Amelia's at nursery, after having a rather long shower that the boiling hot water had run cold I decided to get out and go see if I could find something pink.

"You alright Sammy, you were in there awhile" Tom asked.

"I'm fine Tom just felt like taking my time" I smiled at him.

"Right well I need to go iron my pink shirt as it's the only one I have" Tom said. I nodded and gave him a hug and got back to looking for something to wear. I found a pale pink long sleeve top with a black flora lace collar and I found a black floaty just above the knee skirt so I put them both on and found a black blazer to where as well. I then when to look in the mirror and I could see the tiny bump of my stomach as the pink top was skin tight and I felt very self-concisions about it so I went back and sat on our bed brushing my hair. I left it down and just sat here thinking about everything that eventually brought a tear to my eye. I was sat there for a while with these silent tears falling.

"Babe, Amelia wants her hair braided and as much as I have tried I haven't managed to do it" Tom said leaning in the door way.

"Tom, tell me the truth, am I fat?" I asked simply.

"Babe, you are a bean pole, there is nothing of you but why does it matter I will love you either way" Tom replied.

"I look fat in this top, Look" I said standing up and placing my hands around my stomach to show him.

"You look amazing in that top not 'fat' you wouldn't even look fat in a fat suit" Tom said which made me giggle. "Come here you" Tom said holding his hands out so I walked over to him and he embraced me in a hug.

"Now Beautiful why don't you come put me out of my misery and do Millie's hair" Tom said, I nodded he let go of me then took my hand and lead me down stairs. I got Amelia to sit on one of the stools at the breakfast bar while I did a half up, half down hair style but making the top half into a fishtail plat.

We still had an hour and a half to waste until the baby shower, I decided to start to place everything into the car so that we didn't forget anything. I started with the presents and then the cakes and cookies. That only took 10 minutes so there was still ages left so I went to see Tom and Amelia it was a warm October day and the sun was shining so they were out in the garden. I saw Tom and Amelia jumping around on the trampoline and smiled to myself I then went out into the garden where they both convinced me to go onto the trampoline we were all jumping away when all of a sudden all we heard was Amelia…

"Mummy why don't you have pants on" Tom burst out laughing and my face went bright red I had forgot I put a thong on if I had remembered I would ever of jumped on the trampoline.

"Millie, I have got pants on" I told her.

"Then why can I see your bum" She asked.

"Because they are big girl pants" I said.

"Well I don't want to wear pants that so your bum" She said and carried on bouncing, Tom was over on the decking laughing his head off and I was just standing on the grass next to the trampoline watching her.

"Well that a relief" Tom said after he gathered himself, I just laughed at him and when and sat on the edge of the decking as there was quite a big step down to the grass from it, Tom came and sat next to me and put his arm around my shoulders and I just leaned on him.

"Can I see these big girl pants?" Tom asked trying to pull my skirt up, I slapped his hand and he chuckled "I was only joking babe" I rolled my eyes and just leaned on him with my arms wrapped around his body.

"I'm thirsty" Amelia said running over to us.

"Alright, come on then, want anything Sam?" Tom asked as he slowly got up.

"A Glass of water would be nice, ice if we have any" I said. Tom gave me a stupid look. "Please" I added.

"That's better, what do you want Mils" Tom said with Amelia following him into the house. I take out my phone to check the time its 2:20 it will take us a matter of 5 minutes to drive to Lauren's so there is still plenty of time so I decided to call Zoe.

"Hey, Zoe I was wondering if you could do me a massive favour" I asked as soon as she picked up.

"He, Sam what do you need?" Zoe asked.

"I need Tess's number, I need to talk to her about something and I have lost the paper she gave me with her number on" I said, I bottled it, I still have Tess's number in fact it is saved into my phone but oh well.

"Sure it's 00717 274620" Zoe told me.

"Thanks, I'll phone her after or do you know when she is on a break" I asked.

"Her shift is over in about an hour so I don't suppose she will have another break" Zoe said.

"Alright, well I'll phone her when I can, Thanks again" I said.

"It's alright, anything to help, Talk to you later" Zoe said.

"Bye" I replied and hung up.

"Here you go babe, one glass of water with ice" Tom said passing me the cup.

"Thank you" I replied having a sip then placing it next to me so could wrap myself around Tom again. Tom just resumed his position and held onto me.

"Mils 20 minutes then we are going alright" Tom called to her, she nodded and then got on her bike and started to cycle around the garden. She was quite good at riding a bike, well as good as you can be with stabilizers, next summer maybe we can teach her how to ride with out them. My phone started to ring after looking at the number I realised who it was, I got up and went inside.

"Hello, is that Dr Samantha Nicholls"

"Yes it is, has there been a problem with the forms?" I asked.

"Oh no nothing like that, in fact the complete opposite they are ready for you to collect, you are now officially Amelia Kent's mother" I couldn't help but smile.

"Thank you so much, this means to world, I will be in on Monday to collect them" I said.

"I can only imagine, remember to bring ID and also can you bring some form of ID from Thomas Kent"

"Sure that's not a problem" I said.

"We will have the forms waiting for you at the front desk"

"Thank you, see you on Monday" I said and they hung up, I can't believe I am now her Mother this is like a dream come true I can't wait to see the look on Tom's face on his birthday when he opens the card and finds them. I make my way back outside and take a seat on Tom's lap and have some more of my drink. We then call Amelia over as it is time to get ready to go, making sure I have everything I need phone in my blazer pocket, Uno in Amelia's hand and Tom's got the keys. I put Amelia's matching pink converses on her and my black ankle boots, Tom is wearing a pair of navy converses.

"Right ready you too" Tom says as we get up Tom gets in and starts the engine while I strap Amelia in and then get into the car myself for the short journey to Lauren's


	79. Chapter 79

_**AN - Sorry its been a while but the training really takes it out of you. it starts later tomorrow so I might have time to update in the morning before I go - Enjoy this chapter for now :D**_

We arrived at Lauren's and I jumped out of the car heading over to the boot and picking up the cakes and cookies and then walking over to Amelia's door and letting her jump out.

"Millie, go open the door for me will you Lauren won't mind, in fact go in a see her" I said and Amelia ran across the grass to the front do and opens the door and goes in.

"Tom can you get the presents out the boot for me" I asked walking up to the front door. Tom nodded and went and got the presents out the boot, closed it and then locked up walking over to me.

"got everything?" Tom asked and I just nodded and we walked in.

"Hey Lauren" I called as I entered the house.

"Hey Sam, glad you're here Amelia told us she was by herself" Lauren laughed.

"You don't honestly think I would have let her out by herself do you" Tom said walking into the kitchen "Where you want these?"

"Sam what is all this?" Lauren asked shocked.

"Well me and Amelia have been baking and what Tom has is the gifts" I said placing down the 4 boxes.

"Tom, Deans in the living room with Amelia if you go and put the stuff on the sofa so we can sort out all of this" Lauren said, Tom smiled and went into the other room, Dean had Amelia in stitches.

"You can have her overnight if you like be good practice" I heard Tom say.

"Sam, talk to me" Lauren asked.

"What do you mean" I said trying to act innocent.

"You know full well what I mean you have been off for days, care to explain why and also how you had something to tell me but you keep excusing it as nothing" Lauren said.

"Lauren it's nothing I promise, I just been busy recently and not sleeping much" I told her.

"Well maybe if you didn't spend all day baking you wouldn't be so tired" Lauren said laughing.

"I couldn't leave you without any cakes now could I" I said pinking up two of the plates of cakes and taking them to the other room and placing them on the table with all the other party food. Once I got back up after bending down I was very dizzy and felt like I was going to faint.

"Sam are you alright" Dean asked as he was the first to notice my quick grab of the table. "You look really pale"

"I'm fine" I told him and walked off into the kitchen.

(Tom's POV)

"She has been really finny recently, clingy mainly she says she is just tired, I'm going to go talk to her" I said.

"No, you wait here with Dean, I will have a chat with her see if I can get anything out of her" Lauren said walking off into the kitchen.

(End of POV)

"Sam what is wrong, I'm worried about you, Tom is as well" Lauren asked.

"Then why isn't he in here" I said simply turning around so I wasn't facing her.

" Because I told him not to, I will talk to you instead so tell me what is wrong or I will call your dad and have you taken to the ED for a check-up" Lauren said in a stern voice. The tears just started to fall there and then. "Hey don't cry" Lauren comforted while trying to hug me but with her bump its hard.

"Lauren, I don't know what is wrong, I know what all the symptoms point too and I'm scared" I said, holding on to her.

"And what would that be" She asked.

"Nothing alright, its nothing, not here, not now, not today, today is your day" I said shaking my head and moving away.

"Sam, if you are really ill I want to know now, not next week, I don't care what day it is I could be in hospital right now and I would still want to know so tell me or I will get Tom in here and I don't suppose you want him to see you like this" Lauren said, she was right she deserves to know she wouldn't keep anything from me but I don't want to tell anyone because that would make it more really and I don't know if that's what Tom wants he already has Amelia he might not want my baby well that if this is because I'm pregnant, I have been too scared to do a test.

"Sam talk to me" Lauren says in calm voice.

"There is nothing no prof no test, no nothing done yet but I believe I'm next" I said and turned away.

"I don't understand what you mean" Lauren questioned.

"I'm going to get fat and I don't know if I can handle it Lauren, I'm scared" I told her.

"Sam are you trying to tell me you are pregnant?" Lauren asked. I nodded and started to cry again.

"Woah, Sam stop crying. It will be fine what are you scared about" Lauren asked.

"Me, Tom, Amelia how are they going to take the news Amelia might not want to be a sister and Tom might not want another kid and me! I starved myself Lauren and now with this Baby growing inside of me I will be getting fat again and I don't know If I will be able to handle it" I said wiping away the tears.

"Oh Sam, Tom will love the news I can tell and Amelia she would be shocked at first but she is so kind she would love it too she is always asking about the baby at nursery and if she can help us look after her and Sam you are prefect you have nothing to worry about, you will put on a little weight and once the baby is born you will be back to yourself in no time" Lauren told me smiling. I felt like screaming.

"But what if something goes wrong and I lose the baby that's if there even is one" I said putting my head in my hands.

"Sam nothing like that would happen you are fit and healthy and so is Tom and we will go to the hospital tomorrow I will get you a scan, if you don't want Tom to know I will come with you" Lauren said while stoking my arm.

"How do you do it" I asked.

"Do what?" Lauren replied.

"Control yourself, I'm a wreck I can't control myself" I said simply.

"Believe it or not but I was like that at first, but it gets easier after about 2 months everything sort of falls into place, how far gone do you think you are" she asked.

"About 6/7 weeks maybe" I said.

"Right well that's a few weeks more and then you will be back to your normal self, most of the time" Lauren laughed. I nodded.

"Babe, Olivia and Jack are here" Dean called.

""We will be there in a minute" Lauren called to Dean

"Great, I forgot he was coming" I signed rolling my eyes.

"What, why don't you want him here?" Lauren asked.

"It's going to be hard enough keeping the fact I have been crying from Tom and now Jack as well" I explained.

"Don't worry about that, let's go see them" Lauren smiled taking my hand and guiding me into the other room, Dean was sat on the floor playing with Amelia and Tom was on the sofa with Jack and Olivia was in the corner on the phone.

"Hey Lauren, Olivia has the present" Jack said smiling.

"Hey, Jack and Thanks you didn't have to get anything, now Sam where did you put your stuff you came in here with loads." Lauren asked.

"Babe where is it" I asked Tom and he pointed to the table next to him, I went over and sat on him and Lauren came over and got the presents.

She opened the smallest one first which was the cutlery set and placed it on the side with a smile "Thanks", then she pulled out the one from Amelia.

"That's from Millie" I told her before she opened it, she nodded and had a look.

"Aww that is so cute, Millie come over here and give me a hug" Lauren said and Amelia skipped over to her "Thanks"

"It's okay, but it was Daddy's idea" Amelia said.

"Shh Mils" Tom quickly said and Dean Laughed. She then pulled out the changing bag.

"Thank's Sam, Tom" She said coming over and giving me a hug and then one to Tom.

"Open it Lauren" I told her. She then opened the bag and she looked like she wanted to slap me. She then took everything out.

"Thanks for everything Sam, Tom but you shouldn't of got so much stuff, it's all too expensive" Lauren said.

"I tried telling her that" Tom said wrapping his arms around me.

"What, I can't help it, baby things are just too cute" I said smiling.

"Well maybe one day you can do it for yourself, how does that sound Tom" Lauren asked I gave her the evils.

"Expensive, Sam wouldn't pick the cheapest either, you should see Millie's wardrobe" Tom joked. Olivia had walked back over.

"Here you go Lauren" Olivia said passing over a gift bag. Lauren opened it, it had a little baby grow in which said 'if you think I'm cute you should see my Mummy' Lauren laughed then gave Olivia and Jack a hug. We had been here for around half an hour and all the guest where here and it was safe to say there was no room to move in her house so we all vacated to the garden, Amelia was running around with some of Lauren's nephews, Rachel's kids, Sam and Max.

"Sam, want to go on the trampoline" Tom asked.

"No thanks" I told him.

"Are why not" He asked Laughing.

"You know exactly why" I said jumping off of Tom's lap and standing behind the chair. It didn't work because Tom got off and picked me up.

"Put me down, right now" I told him. I was screaming and kicking my legs about but it didn't make much different as he was holing me bridal style, everyone was watching.

"A little help over here" Tom shouted and Dean and Jack came running over.

"Where we going with this one" Dean asked grabbing my legs so I couldn't kick.

"The trampoline" Tom told him and they started walking towards it and once there they threw me on it I made sure I was holding on to my skirt and I went to climb of.

"You don't know how much I hate you right now" I said giving Tom the evils.

"I have a rough idea" Tom laughed taking my hands. I was kneeling on the edge of the trampoline holding his hands when Amelia, Sam and Max on got on and started bouncing and i fall off the edge, lucky Tom was there to catch me everyone came running over.

"Are you okay Mummy" Amelia said bouncing over to me.

"I'm fine, Daddy caught me" I told her and everyone let out a sigh of relief.

"I'm sorry, I didn't know you would fall off" Amelia said jumping of and giving me a hug.

"Don't worry baby girl Daddy was trying to wind me up anyway so it's lucky I fall of he won't be putting me up there again anytime" I said laughing.

"Mummy, your big girl pants are showing" Amelia said simply and ran off after Sam and Max.

"No there not… Oh very funny Amelia" I said sitting up. People slowly started to go back over to the chairs.

"Did you put her up to that" I said standing up and walking off.

"Babe, it was only meant to be a joke and I didn't expect you to fall off" Tom said running after me. I went back inside the house.

(Tom's POV)

"Babe Please I didn't mean it" I called after her.

"Looks like someone's one the sofa tonight" Dean joked and Jack laughed.

"Guys its not funny Sam been really upset recently, Jack of all people I thought you would know" Lauren shouted at them. I was about to go in after her.

"I would let her cool off if I was you, she bites you know" Jack said. I just put my head in my hands and went to sit down at the table.

"Tom, go in and see her, she will want you to go see if she is alright don't listen to them they are only trying to wind you up" Olivia said. I nodded and snuck in.

"Come here Babe" I said walking in and embracing her into a hug. "I am truly sorry I should have thought about that a bit more" Sam just snuggled into me and cried, I wish I knew what she was thinking about, I didn't realise it would of made her like this.

"Sammy talk to me please, I want to help you" I told her. She wiped her tears on my shirt then moved back a bit before she spoke.

"Tom, I don't think you can help, it's just me, I don't know why but Mum's death hit me harder than expected, until yesterday it hadn't really sunk in" Sam whispered.

"Oh Sammy, I would love to say I know what you are going though and be able to support you but I don't know what it is like but what I do know is no matter what I am here for you, you can tell me anything talk to me about anything and I will always be here to comfort you" I told her, walking over had wrapping my arms around her from behind.

"Thank you Tom" was all Sam could manage, it wasn't much but with the look in her eyes I could tell that she meant it.

"Well I think a glass of wine is in order don't you" I asked her swaying her hips from side to side.

"Actually Tom I feel like a cup of coffee" Sam said grabbing my hand and dragging me into Lauren's kitchen. Lauren was in there already sorting out glasses and bottles of wine when Sam just went in and flicked the kettle on like she owned the place, "Want one" She asked while doing so and I shook my head. I love how Sam can just go about making anyone's home hers she just acts as if it's her place, she has done it at mine since the day I met her and I believe she had probably always done it here.

"Yer, why not" I told her after placing the wine down. Once Sam had made the coffee we headed off back outside and enjoyed the rest of the party well right up until it decided it was going to rain and we had to run back inside.


	80. Chapter 80

_**AN - Just a quick one. Off to training my last one for this week then it starts all over again next week... If I ever get any time for my self again I will be surprised. - Enjoy x**_

I had woke up early with the sudden need to vomit so I ran straight to the bathroom, trying to be as quite as possible as I didn't want Tom to wake up as I hadn't even drank yesterday so there was no need for me to be sick. After it had passed I made my way downstairs to get a glass of water, luckily I hadn't woke Tom or Amelia up so they were none the wiser.

I decided I was going to prepare a fruit salad as we haven't had a nice one is ages as every time we went shopping there was no strawberries but we managed to get some on Friday. I get out our sundae bowls and the selected fruit.

First I cut up the pineapple and start to layer it in the bottom of each bowl, while eating some at the same time. Then it's the strawberries that I cut up yesterday that go on the next layer, I then slice up some kiwi's and layer them, same with the banana's which are the next layer, I then peel and section some oranges and grapefruit which I use for the top layer but with some grapes on top in a pattern. I place the bowls in the fridge and then start to clean up. I then go and sit in front of the TV and watch Jeremy Kyle.

"Can I have a drink, please" Amelia asks walking into the living room.

"Sure Baby Girl, what would you like?" I ask her walking into the kitchen.

"Milk, please" Amelia says skipping behind me.

I went and got the glass of milk and went to go find Amelia, she wasn't in the living room so it too me ages to try and figure out where she was but eventually it clicked she was out in the garden so I went out and placed the cup on the table.

"Babe are you not cold" I called out to her she was busy riding her bike. She shook her head and carried on she should be fine as she has got her Giraffe onesie on. I love Amelia's bike I wish my mum and dad had, had the same idea as me and Tom, when we got Amelia her bike, we wanted it for her birthday but it wasn't ready on time as we had asked Dean to customise it for us we brought all of the stuff required. We had got her a plain white bike; we also got some giraffe print stickers and some giraffe print material. He had put the material over the seat and the stickers where on the chain guard, the mud guards and the stabilisers and on the doll carrier. We had also got some got some giraffe print love heart stickers to put on the frame; I must say the bike is just amazing I just hope she doesn't grow out of it too soon.

I had gone and made myself a coffee to take with me outside while I watched Amelia, I'm not sure why I was worrying about her being cold I'm the one sat here in Plaid short shorts and a vest top.

"Are you not cold?" Tom asked he was in a tracksuit.

"I freezing" I told him hugging the mug.

"Then way are you out here?" Tom asked coming over and sitting behind me wrapping himself around me.

"Because I was watching Amelia" I told him snuggling into him. Tom took off his hoodie and gave it to me.

"Put this on" He said passing it to me and I did so I was going to argue.

"I am going into town with Lauren after, so you can do whatever you like with Amelia" I told him.

"Right, I need some new Jeans, mine ripped if you happen to come across any" Tom asked.

"We are going baby shopping and besides it's your birthday in 2 weeks can't you wait?" I said.

"I suppose I can, now I feel like breakfast what about you" Tom said getting up and pulling me up.

"I have made fruit salad and there's some natural yogurt to pour over it" I told him as he went inside.

"Millie breakfast" I called her so she jumped off her bike and skipped off inside. It looked like it was going to rain so I decided I butter put her bike into the garage, after doing so I was making my way back across the garden when I tripped over one of Millie's toys and hit my head on the corner of the decking. Great one I thought to myself and got up holding my head walking into the kitchen.

"Mummy your bleeding" Amelia says worried and Tom turns around.

"Sam, what happened" Tom asked coming over with a wet paper towel.

"I tripped and hit the corner of the decking, I'm fine I promise" I said.

"I don't know if you are Sam it looks quite big" Tom said.

"I'm going to go get dressed and I will clean it up and see if I think I need to go in or not" I said going up stairs. Tom just shook his head and I heard him telling Amelia to eat up.

Once I was upstairs I went into the bathroom and cleaned up the cut, once I had cleaned all the blood away it was nothing more than a scratch so I went to go get dressed. I put on a pair of skinny jeans, a burgundy long sleeve top and a navy waterproof gilet with a fur trim.

"Tom, I'm going to go meet Lauren" I said walking into the kitchen.

"What about your head" Tom asked.

"It's fine, just a scratch" I told him walking over and giving him a hug.

"Have Fun" Tom said.

"I will do, love you" I said giving him a peck on the cheek.

"Love you too" Tom replied.

I went over and gave Millie a hug and a kiss.

"Bye Baby Girl be good for daddy" I said and she nodded giving me a hug.

I went and put on my burgundy converses and making sure I had my phone, keys and money I left walking to central park where I was going to meet Lauren.


	81. Chapter 81

_**AN - I loved writing this Chapter! Hopefully I can get one up tomorrow as well. - Enjoy it, I know you will :D x**_

"Sam, sorry I'm late" Lauren said waddling over to the bench I was at.

"Don't worry about it, do you think you can walk to st James and back, it's a good hour walk. If you're not up to it we can just go to Holby" I asked Lauren

"I don't think I would get that far, I know how much you don't want this getting out yet maybe we can just ask for your dad he won't tell anyone, why didn't you drive?" Lauren asked.

"I fall over this morning and hit my head so I decided against driving and I will phone up Tess and see if she is free" I smiled and got my phone out. Lauren just smiled.

"Hello" Tess said.

"Hey Tess, its Sam. Are you free on about 15 minutes" I asked.

"Oh hey Sam, I can be why?" she asked.

"I will explain when I get there, can we meet you outside the ED in 15" I asked.

"Sure I will be waiting outside" Tess said.

"thanks see you then" I said and hung up.

"Right she is going to meet us outside in 15 minutes" I told Lauren.

"Right we better get going then don't want to keep her waiting" Lauren smiled standing up. I got up and we walked to the ED in silence.

"Tess" I said walking up behind her. She jumped out of her skin and turned around.

"Oh Sam thank god it's you, Where's Tom?" Tess asked.

"At home, I meant Lauren when I said we" I explained.

"Right, well what is it you need?" Tess asked.

"A Massive favour, I need an ultrasound but I don't want anyone to know" I whispered.

"Sam you do know you will need to be booked in so everyone will know you are here" Tess said.

"Tess please, I thought you would understand which is why I came to you" I said with a tear in my eye.

"Alright Sam maybe we can book you too in under Laurens name and then it makes sense for there to be an ultrasound needed" Tess said.

"Thank you so much Tess, Lauren I know that wasn't the idea but you don't mind do you?" I asked.

"No Sam its fine" Lauren said. We all made our way into the ED Tess was on cubicles today so we were giving a cubicle while we waited for Tess to come back with the fast scanner.

"Lauren, I'm scared" I told her.

"I was too but just like Dean, Tom is going to be there for you and not only will Tom but so will I and Jack and your Dad everyone will be there for Sam we will help you though this I promise" Lauren said giving me a hug.

"Right Sam" Tess said coming in holding the fast scanner. "I need you to unbutton your jeans and pull your top up"

I did what she said and then shot Lauren a worrying look; she just stood up and took hold of my hand.

"I'm sure you know the drill and all but this is going to be cold" Tess said and as she squirted the gel on to my stomach I never expected it to be as cold as it was I thought we just said that as a just in case. Tess was busy moving the Doppler around my abdomen she was pressing down in places and it hurt but I knew she needed to. All of a sudden she stopped moving it and we could hear a heartbeat, I must be further gone then expected as until 10 weeks you can't normally hear the heartbeat with a Doppler but at the moment as soon as I could hear the heart beating I begin to cry but it was tears of fear they were tears of joy.

"Congratulation's Sam" Tess said leaving the Doppler where it was for a while so I could listen a little longer. Lauren also had tears in her eyes when I turned to look at her but she also had a massive smile and I bet I did too. Tess turned it off after 5 minutes and wiped the gel off.

"Go to maternity and get an ultrasound done now and then bring me done a copy of the scan I want to see the little one, I will phone up to them now and you should be seen fairly quickly" Tess said smiling. To be honest with you it was all any of us could do was just to smile, I was so scared before but now I know that there is life inside of me I am not so scared I mean don't get me wrong I and still worried about how I am going to manage when I get bigger but you know what we can pass that hurdle when we get there. Me and Lauren started to make our way up to maternity when we walked into Harry.

"Sam, I thought I gave you two weeks off to be with Amelia and Tom not to be wondering around the ED" Harry questioned.

"You did Harry but I thought I would come to a Scan with my friend as I haven't yet made it to one as I am always busy working" I lied though my teeth.

"Sam I was only joking you didn't need to explain yourself" Harry said chuckling as he walked off and we just made our way up. We had to be buzzed in on maternity it is the same on the children's wards as well so we pressed the buzzer.

"Maternity department, how may we help" The Lady asked.

"Doctor Sam Nicholls, from the ED in need of a ultrasound" I said and the lady buzzed us in.

"Good Morning Sam, Sister Bateman has just phoned if you take a seat we will be with you shortly" The nurse said gesturing to the waiting area. We had been sat down for a few minutes when the nurse came back.

"I'm sorry I never caught your name but would you like to follow me the sonographer is ready"

"My Name's Lauren but Sam is the one who has requested the scan, I'm just here for moral support, sorry for the confusion" Lauren explained.

"Oh I'm so sorry Lauren I just assumed, Sam if you would like to follow me and Lauren you can come too, I am truly sorry" The nurse said after going bright red.

"It's fine, if I was you I would assumed it was Lauren as well" I told the nurse as we started following her. We entered the room where the sonographer was waiting.

"Good Morning would you like some help up" The sonographer asked aiming it at Lauren.

"Ollie, I made the same mistake it's the doctor in for a scan, this is her friend Lauren for support" The nurse said.

"I'm sorry love, please forgive me" The sonographer said as I jumped up onto the bed.

"It's fine like I said, if I was one of you too I would of assumed this was for Lauren as well" I said smiling.

"Can you unbutton your jeans and slide them down a bit then lift your top up for me please" The sonographer asked. I nodded and gave Lauren a I-know-the-drill look. And she just laughed. She was standing where Tom should be but I didn't mind as I still had someone here for ma and I am going to get a copy of the scan made into a card to surprise Tom with on his birthday.

"This is going to be cold" he said squirting the gel on my abdomen. I just rolled my eyes and Lauren giggled.

He then got the Doppler and moved it around pressing down in places which was really painful, he was more rough then Tess. I was watching the screen and as soon as I noticed a little blob in the corner of the screen we started to hear the heartbeat as well and I just started to cry again I couldn't believe how lucky am I, I have a beautiful daughter and now I will have another beautiful child. The sonographer moved it around a bit more so that it was in the middle he then got the nurse over to look at the screen they had blocked it and I was getting worried.

"What's wrong with my baby" I asked wriggling around a bit.

"Sam we need you to stay calm there is nothing wrong in fact we believe you are carrying Twins, Take a look" he said moving the screen around so me and Lauren could see. At that point I started crying again but it was more mixed emotions, I was not having one but two beautiful children but it also meant I would be even bigger.

"Sam it wonderful news, Tom is going to be so happy" Lauren said kissing my forehead. As soon as she said it I turned back to the screen and I couldn't help but letting the biggest grin creep across my face.

"How far gone do you think I am?" I asked.

"It's hard to tell but I would say about 9 weeks" He told me.

"That's Amazing!" I said smiling proudly rubbing my stomach.

"Would you like any copies?" The nurse asked.

"Yes Please, can I have 4?" I asked.

"Certainly" She asked and while they got them printed he let me look at them for a few more minutes then he wiped the gel off and I pulled up my jeans and lowed my top. I had sat up and giving Lauren a hug. She then came back in with the scan photos.

"Can I book you in for another scan in 3 weeks?" She asked handing them over.

"Sure can we make it more around lunch time if possible as I will be working" I asked.

"Follow me and I will see what I can do" The nurse said.

"Thank you" I told the sonographer and followed the nurse to the desk.

"Right we have Monday 11th November free at 12:45 if that is alright" The nurse asked.

"Perfect, it will be me and my partner next time" I said smiling looking at the scan. The nurse nodded and wrote out an appointment card and handed it to me.

"Thanks see you then" I told her and me and Lauren headed off back down to the ED while in the lift I was holding one of the copies, Look at my little baby beans. They are prefect and I hope Tom thinks so too, I can't wipe the smile off my face.

"Sam you need to put that away otherwise someone will notice, I know how It feels and it's amazing but you don't want anyone to question as they clearly are not mine you should see how big she is now" Lauren said.

"I know" I said putting them away. "And I can imagine what she looks like" I smiled and placed my hands on my stomach. Lauren just shook her head and smiled.

We got out of the lift and headed towards cubicles.

"Tess" I called her over.

"Hey Sam is everything all right you where ages" She asked.

"Every things fine, your office" I suggested. Tess nodded and we headed that way once the door was closed I got out one of the copies and handed it to her.

"Sam, I'm so happy for you Twins, you must be so excited, have you told Tom yet?" She asked.

"Not yet, I'm going to wait for his birthday, I was thinking of making the picture into a card" I explained.

"That is a wonderful idea, I keep quiet" Tess said looking at the scan.

"Thanks" I said just then Fletch came flying in.

"Tess you're needed in rhesus" He said out of breath.

"I'll be right there" Tess said smiling placing the scan upside down on her desk and leaving with Fletch. I picked up the copy and placed it in my bag before we headed off back to the park.

Once there I decided to phone Tom and ask him to come down with Amelia.

"What do you want Sam?" Lauren asked.

"Lauren to be honest I don't care as long as they are healthy" I said smiling. And Lauren just smiled as well.

"You will have the most beautiful Children" Lauren said.

"Well you little girl is going to be an angel" I told her and she just laughed.

"With Dean for a Dad you having me on?" Lauren said.

We both started to laugh and Tom turned up.

"What you two laughing at?" Tom questioned.

"Nothing for you to worry about" I told him pulling him down to give him a kiss.

"Mummy, can we get a hot chocolate from the Café, Daddy said I had to ask you" Amelia said running over and giving me a hug.

"Sure, Lauren you want to come?" I asked.

"Sure why not, I'll get Dean to pick me up on the way back" Lauren said and I got up taking Amelia's hand and Tom's and we walked to costa.


	82. Chapter 82

**_AN - A nice long one as I don't know if I can update tomorrow as I have more training :( - Enjoy :)_**

Me and Tom have been running around like mad today while Amelia has been at nursery, its Halloween on Friday and they are having a party at the nursery so Lauren asked us to go around and get some decorations that weren't very scary but Tom was too busy trying to scare me with them but I turned around and told him that if someone can hold an gun to my head and I can talk them down do you really think I would be scared of a few Halloween decorations he just laughed and moved on looking at the rest of the shop playing with all the practical jokes.

"Tom, seriously? You are going to be 30 next week" I said walking over to him and placing some paper cups and plates into the basket.

"What you got me for my birthday then?" Tom asked.

"Who says I have got you anything?" I said walking off and he slaps my bum.

I notice a big furry black bat on a string and Tom is terrified of bats so while he had back turned I picked it up and then hung it over his head. He jumped out of his skin and dropped the basket and I started to laugh.

"If you two aren't actually going to buy anything can you leave you are putting the other costumes off" A shop assistant asked. Tom was picking up stuff that fall out of our basket.

"Not to be rude or anything but the only other costumer you have is that nice lady over there and I bet if you asked her she wouldn't mind but it's alright if you don't want our services we will go elsewhere" I said simply placing the bat on the self. Tom was trying not to laugh I could see it in his face. The shop assistant was about to speak when the lady butted in…

"I actually think it's cute that a young couple can just have a laugh with each other and not have a care in the world, I wish my husband would laugh if I shoved something he was scared of in front of his face"

"I struck gold when I found this one" Tom said wrapping an arm around me.

"I believe you have did you not treat my son the other week at Holby city ED" The lady asked.

"Who?" Me and Tom said in unison then started to Laugh.

"Dr Kent?" The Lady said.

"That would be me but my girlfriend here is also a doctor at the ED" Tom said.

"Yes I recognise you too you may have treated my ex. My son was with his dad then he got brought in after a motorbike accident" The lady said after walking round to where we are.

"Mrs Fisher?" Tom questioned.

"That would be me" Mrs Fisher laughed.

"Sam you did Treat Mr Roberts last week? You showed me his x-rays" Tom said.

"That's right" I smiled.

"How is Ryan?" Tom asked.

"Tom I'll go pay for this lot and get it loaded in the car, it's already 2:15 we will be late otherwise" I said, Tom nodded then carried on talking.

We had got back the nursery with 10 minutes to spare so we had run all the stuff in before they let the other parent's in. while Tom was sorting through the decorations with Mrs Hall; I sat down and listened to what Miss Andrews had to say as it was about the party.

"As some of you know already we are having a Party on Friday as it is Halloween but it is not only that but it is also Miss Matthews Last day until next year as she has been feeling a bit poorly so she needs to have time to rest but once she has had her baby she will be back. Also it will be Halloween fancy dress on Friday so please do dress up tell your Mummy's and Daddy's"

"Can we be princesses?" One little girl askes.

"Princesses aren't Halloweeny" Ellie Says. And Amelia nods I can't help but laugh at them.

"Like Ellie said princesses are not very Halloweeny so try and be a witch maybe also for the giraffe group your new teacher will be in tomorrow morning" Miss Andrews tells them.

"But I don't want a new teacher I want Miss Matthews" Amelia says in a strop.

"Millie!" I shout at her. I look over to Miss Andrews and whisper I'm sorry.

"It's fine Dr Nicholls, Amelia you will see Miss Matthews again but see needs to go and rest before having the baby" Miss Andrews said once she said that I couldn't help but smile and place my hands on my now 10 week beans.

"Let my think… Lions go sign out and sit in your place remember your jackets and lunch boxes… Giraffe's you go and do the same, Amelia give that letter to mummy now as she is here… And last but not least Zebra's off you go" Miss Andrews said and all the children where now sat in their places with their jackets on and lunch boxes on the table.

"Babe you alright" Tom asked bringing me back to reality.

"Yer, why wouldn't I be?" I said and got up "Can you put this in your pocket please" I told passing him the letter. I then went over and got Amelia and told Miss Andrews we were going she smiled and nodded so we went out the door that led to the main school. Amelia was swinging my arm about the place.

"Sam the door this way" Tom said pointing behind us.

"Yes but there is also a door this way" I said pointing in front.

"How would you know?" Tom asked.

"Because…" I was about to say but was butted in by someone.

"Samantha Jordan, is that you" Mr Wood asked.

"Yep, I didn't know you were still the head around here, Tom come over here a sec" I said.

"I won't be for much longer this year is my last, what brings you here?" He asked as Tom came over and picked up Amelia "Thomas Kent, my, my. What a surprise" He added.

"You know Tom?" I asked.

"Yes he was here a few years before you but you joined the year he left" He added.

"How can you remember all this when you have 100's of new students every year?" Tom questioned.

"Daddy" Amelia Whined.

"Well you see I was forever telling Tom off while he was here and then I thought I would have a rest after he left but it didn't quite work that well as I ended up having to Tell Samantha off afterwards as she was always causing trouble but the thing is none of the teachers cared as she was a bright student just like you Tom whatever trouble you got into was just overlooked." Mr Wood explained.

"Daddy, I want to go home" Amelia was whining so I took her off of Tom.

"Why don't we go wait in the car?" I asked her and she nodded.

"Sorry sir but I better get this one sorted she isn't happy because Lauren is going on maternity" I said.

"Yes that's right, is she yours are you too just looking after her?" He asked.

"No she ours, I often wonder how I was blessed with such a beautiful and kind Child" Tom said. Mr Wood chuckled.

"Shame I won't be around to keep her inline once she gets into the school."

"Dr Nicholls" Olivia came running over.

"What is it?" I turned and asked.

"Lauren, she is struggling to breath I was on my way to the school nurse but then noticed you and Dr Kent and thought you would be more help" Miss Andrews said.

"Where is she?" I asked.

"In the nursery, come on" as miss Andrews said that she ran off.

"Look Sir it's been nice chatting to you but as you can see duty calls" Tom said then can running up behind us. When we got to the nursery we saw Lauren on the chair struggling to breath.

"Lauren, can you hear me" I asked and she nodded slightly.

"Does it hurt anywhere or just your chest?" I questioned.

"I have been having bad cramps for the last few days" Lauren replied.

"Tom phone an ambulance she needs to get to the ED" I shouted to him he was on the other side of the room trying to keep Amelia preoccupied.

"Right Lauren, I need you to take deep breaths, have you had any really bad cramps recently?" I asked.

"Every so often, they are really bad and then others feeling like nothing" She replied.

"Lauren, calm down, I don't think you are in labour but I believe that what you are worried about and you are having a panic attack" I told her rubbing her arms, Lauren nodded.

"She did say that actually before I went to get you she thought she was in labour" Olivia added.

"Sam ETA 5 minutes" Tom called over.

"Thanks" I shouted back "Now Lauren Deep breaths. Nice and slowly and when a cramp comes only a really bad one I want you to squeeze my hand" I told her.

"Tom, come here a sec" I called and he came running over. "I need to phone Dean, can you take over she hasn't squeezed my hand yet" I explained and then got my phone out.

"Hey Dean"

"Sam is everything alright?" He asked.

"Lauren is going to need your support she will be arriving at the ED in about 10 minutes so can you meet us there?" I said.

"Sure but what's happened"

"Look the Paramedics are here, I'll explain at the ED" I told him.

"Alright well I'll meet you there" Dean said hanging up.

"Tom what seems to be the problem" Dixie asked.

"Dix this is Lauren, 28. She is 7 months pregnant and suffering from bad stomach ramps she has had 3 since I have been with her all around a minute and a half in between each one. Since having the cramps she brought on a panic attack and we need to calm her down" Tom explained.

"Right Jeff gets some oxygen on her and I'll go get a wheelchair" Dixie said running off.

"Sam do you want me to take Amelia to Jacks?" Olivia asked once Sam was in the back of the ambulance.

"Thanks but no thanks" I smiled. Olivia Nodded and placed Amelia into the back of the ambulance.

"Millie you can ride in here with me or you can go in Daddy's car it's up to you but either way we need to be quick" I said.

"I want to stay with you Mummy" Amelia said, Tom nodded and ran off he was going to meet us there.

"Sam you alright in the back by yourself princess" Jeff asked and I nodded so he got up front with Dixie and we sped off to the ED. What felt like half an hour but was only 5 minutes.

Once Lauren was out of the ambulance with Jeff pushing her and Dixie reading her notes and my and Amelia running behind we had bumped into Dean on the way in.

"This is Lauren Matthews, 28. She is 7 months pregnant and suffering from terrible stomach cramps, she believed she was in Labour which brought on this panic attack that we have not be able to stabilizer her since. BP 140 over 95 and Stats are low, where's free?" Dixie said.

"Cubicle 4, please" Ash said following us in.

"Alright princess" Jeff said while helping her onto the bed. I had placed Amelia on the seat in the room and then gone over and given Dean a hug.

"She is going to be fine we just need to control her breathing and Ash will do everything he can" I told Dean, he just nodded then went and took hold of Laurens hand.

"Hello, I'm doctor Ashford and I have organised for a fast scanner so we can check on your baby and we will also do a Fetal fibronectin test which is used to indicate whether you are in labour or not but this only works if you haven't had sex in the past 24 hours and it involves me inserting a spectrum into your vagina. Ah Robyn that you for the scanner" Ash explained then started to run the fast scanner over Laurens bump and there was a very strong heartbeat which help Lauren and her breathing started to slow down.

"Lauren it is up to you but from what I have seen and heard it sounds like it was most likely Braxton hicks but I can go ahead with the test if you like but it is very uncomfortable and you can be waiting up to an hour for your results but as you have calmed your breathing right down I believe you will be fine to go in about an hour after observations" Ash explains.

"Thank you doctor and I can't have the test anyway as we have had sex in the past 24 hours anyway" Lauren explained.

"Very well, that is what mostly brought the Braxton hicks on then, I will put you on 15 minutes obs and then you are free to go" Ash said walking out.

"Lauren you naughty girl" I joked and she just shook her head.

"You try going 7 months without any it's hard" She said.

"Well actually I went 10 months without before and up until recently I hadn't had any so that was a good 6 months" I told her picking up Amelia and sitting down.

"Whatever but I thought you knew that when you are pregnant you are extra horny" Lauren said and Dean just rolled his eyes.

"Don't I know it" he said and we started laughing.

"Can we drop the subject there little ears around" I said looking down at Amelia. Lauren nodded. Just then Tom walked in.

"You look much better Lauren, how are you feeling" He asked.

"Much better thanks it was a relief to know that it was only Braxton hicks" Lauren said. Tom nodded and came over and put his arm around my shoulders.

"Mum wants us to go to hers for dinner" Tom says smiling.

"Yay" Amelia shouted.

"Oi calm down you this is a hospital, Tom she needs to dress up on Friday has she got anything?" I asked.

"Only fairies and princesses but I guess you mean Halloween?" Tom said. I nodded.

"You two need to dress up too, adults and kids" Lauren added

"You have got to be kidding?" Tom complained.

"Nope I'm serious" Lauren replied and I just laughed at the face Tom pulled.

"Well this is going to be interesting" Tom added. We had waiting with Lauren chatting about the party and just the nursery in general until she was discharged then we made our way up to Alice's for dinner.


	83. Chapter 83

_**AN - I know its been a while but I have been so busy its unbelievable I would of updated yesterday but as soon as I sat down I fall asleep! I havent got anything on tomorrow so I will give you a update then as well and then hopefully on Thursday as well as I only have a 1 hour meeting with my mentor. I am really sorry about not updating it is just so hard to find the time these days. - Enjoy :)**_

Dinner at Alice's was great last night. We had homemade pizza which I would have to say nothing beats it. We spent the night talking about what Amelia could dress up as, we thought of witch, cat, pumpkin, ghost, devil and skeleton but we wanted Amelia to be different and we didn't want just any old costume you could buy in town so we sat down with Alice as she makes tutu styled dresses for little girls we thought maybe she would be able to make Amelia a costume. We came up with the idea to be a pirate to which Alice drew up loads of different designs but we decided on one with had a puff sleeved white top with a brown waistcoat, a brown and red tutu, a red belt with a gold buckle, a brown three point hat and a red and black bandana. It was great and Alice told us she would have it ready Thursday so that if anything needed to be changed it could overnight and we would go to hers in the morning before nursery on Friday so that just leaves me and Tom needing something the only costume I have is of a candy corn witch but let's just say it is very revealing and I should not wear it in front of kids. Best get ready for nursery and for us to head into town, Lauren has the morning off so we will be meeting the new teacher her name is Mrs Dempsey. She sounds nice but only time will tell. Tom was already up and waiting down stairs.

"Amelia, time to get up darling" I told her gently while shaking her. She turned away.

"I don't want to Lauren won't be there" Amelia said upset.

"Come here Millie" I told her getting up on to her bed and pulling her into a hug. "You will still see Lauren, she's mummy's friend remember so just because she isn't going to be teaching up until after she has had her baby doesn't mean you are not going to see her again" Amelia just nodded and I let go and wiped her tears away.

"Can I wear one of the dresses Nanny made me today" Amelia asked.

"Sure you go downstairs, find Daddy and tell him Mummy wants so bacon rolls for breakfast and I will find you one of your dresses" I told her.

"Okay but does that mean I can have some bacon rolls too" Amelia asked I nodded and she jumped off of me and ran downstairs. It has been a while since I wanted bacon but I guess this is what being pregnant is going to do to me.

I found Amelia one of her dresses it was hard as most of them where bright summery colours and I like the colours to match the seasons but I found an army style one Alice had made after she learnt I was in the army, it has a black vest top with a camouflage star on it and a patch of distressed army mesh on the bottom corner, the tutu is khaki and black spikes with a camouflage style belt which clips together with a backpack style clip. I decided she could wear it with black leggings and her khaki military style jacket. I had spent so long looking for something that the smell of bacon was wafting around the house, I decided I would go and get dressed in a red tartan pinafore dress and a black long sleeve top underneath before heading off down stairs.

"Something smells good" I said while snaking my arms around Tom's waist.

"That would be me, like come on Amelia smells" Tom said and Amelia gave him the evils I just smiled to myself.

"I actually meant the bacon but there you go" I said kissing his neck and going to sit by Amelia.

"Mummy, will Lauren be in after lunch?" Amelia asked.

"Not sure baby girl, but she will be in on Friday for the party" I said.

"You know you and Daddy are going to town to get your costumes..." Amelia started.

"Who told you that I wonder...? But let me guess you want us to get you something as well" I said.

"A new Lalaloopsy, there are new ones with hair, Please" Amelia asks.

"The ones we saw on TV Last night?" I ask her and she nods "They are going to cost a lot but we will see" I said and she smiled.

"Breakfast is served" Tom said turning around and placing a plate full of bacon on the table, there was already a plate with rolls on.

"Millie, would you like some butter on your roll?" I asked. She shook her head.

"I would" Tom said pouring himself a drink.

"Your big enough and ugly enough to do it yourself" I told him picking up a roll and shoving 3 slices of bacon in and lots of tomato sauce. Tom walk over to the table a sat down by me.

"Thanks for that Sammy a real confidence booster" He said pulling a sad face.

"Oh Tommy I didn't mean it, have you never heard the saying before?" I asked him.

"Yes, mum used to say it all the time, I actually thought I was ugly the amount of times she would say it" Tom said taking a bite out of his roll.

"Babe you could never be ugly" I said smiling and placing a kiss on his cheek. "Millie do you feel alright you look a little pale?" I asked and Tom nodded.

"Mils you do which means she's right you know for a change" Tom added I just rolled my eyes which made Amelia giggle.

"My head hurts" Amelia said.

"Oh Mil's why didn't you say" Tom asked picking her up and giving her a hug.

"Tom has she got a fever?" I asked rummaging in the cupboard for some Calpol.

"No she's fine at the moment, still give her some of the Calpol though" Tom said carrying her over to me. I gave her the medicine.

"Tom should we still take her to Nursery?" I asked.

"They can't turn her down there is no physical symptoms that we can see, you go and get her dressed and ill clean up in here" Tom said passing her over to me. I smiled and took her into the living room and got her changed.

"Millie, does it hurt anywhere else?" I asked and she shook her head.

"Have you bumped your head?" Tom asked walking in to the living room.

"I can't remember Daddy" She says crying.

"Oh my god Tom what if she has and we didn't notice we can't leave her like this" I said while trying to sooth her.

"Sam there is nothing to indicate she has bumped her head, no marks, bruises or anything" Tom says coming over to the sofa and stroking Amelia's hair.

"Can we just take her in to be checked, please Tom what if something happens" I say shaking.

"Right come on then let's get her in, I couldn't live with myself if something did happen, Amelia please have you bumped it anywhere?" Tom asked Amelia just shook her head; Tom then took her out of my arms, slipped on a pair of trainers and took her into the car.

"Sam do you think you can drive or do you want me to" he asked after I had locked the door.

"Tom please I can't, I'm shaking" I told him climbing into the back and holding Amelia in my arms as he got into the front a drove to the ED.

The 10 minute drive felt like forever with me sat in the back holding Amelia's shaking body she was pale and weak, I couldn't think straight that when we got to the ED Tom was the one that had to snap me out of it.

"Sam, come on" He said opening the door I climbed out and we headed into the ED.

"Tom, Sam? What's wrong?" Ash asked as we walked in.

"It's Amelia she says her head hurts but cannot remember if she has bumped it or not" Tom said quickly as we were pushed into a cubicle.

"Amelia, its Doctor Ashford, Ash. Do you remember me" He asked her and she nodded.

"Right good girl can you follow this light for me" He asked shinning the pen torch in her eyes and she followed it.

"Good girl, can you tell me if it hurts" He asked running his heads over her head, Amelia didn't say anything.

"Okay right, Amelia I going to have to send you for a scan the machine is like a big donut and it will let us see what is making your head hurt, Mummy and Daddy can come with you" Ash explained.

"Is she going to be alright" I asked.

"I cannot see any obvious signs of trauma but that is not to rule it out the CT scan is just precaution" Ash said before phoning CT.

Tom went and took Amelia's hand; he then pulled me over to her bedside as well.

"Amelia, everything is going to be fine" He said stroking her hair. She had calmed down a lot since coming in maybe it was because both me and Tom had also calmed down I think us being worked up did not help her in anyway, the colour was also coming back to her cheeks, maybe she did just have a headache but as a doctor you know the risks and what thinks could have been, I don't want to waste the ED's time but I also want to know that Amelia is fine.

"CT, is ready. Amelia we are going to go up for your scan now" Ash explained as a porter came and took her bed. Me and Tom followed her with Ash, Tom making sure he had her hand so she knew he was there.

Amelia's scan went well she was so brave, I wish most our patients were like that. We had gone back down to the ED and I had phoned the Nursery and now we were just waiting on the results.

"Tom, if she is alright, she needs to go in to nursery even if it is just after lunch as otherwise she will not meet her new teacher" I said after I had got off the phone. Tom nodded.

"I agree but, let's wait for the results eh, I am sure she will be fine" Tom said, smiling to try and reassure me.

We spoke about lalaloopsy and what not to Amelia while we waited for Ash to come back with the results it felt like for ever but in reality it was only 15 minutes which was fast for this ED.

"Tom, Sam. I have Amelia's results" Ash said walking into the cubicle.


	84. Chapter 84

_**AN - after last nights horrible update I thought I would give you a nicer chapter and Tom's birthday will be soon, I promise. - Hope you Enjoy this one! **_

_"Tom, Sam. I have Amelia's results" Ash said walking into the cubicle._

"Her scan is clear, nothing to worry about. At my best guess I would say she is coming down with a cold." Ash said smiling.

"Oh thanks god, sorry for wasting your time Ash, we were so worried" I said smiling.

"It's understandable, I was like that with my first child and because you're a doctor you worry more as you know what the risks are" Ash explained. I nodded.

"Hear that Mils, you're going to be fine" Tom said picking her up.

"You are free to go let me just get the discharge papers" Ash said and went off to get them.

"What are we going to do with you, you haven't got any shoes on" Tom asked her ruffling her hair up.

"Daddy can I go to Nursery?" Amelia asked.

"Of course you can baby girl, we just need to wait for Ash, then we need to go and get you some shoes" I told her.

"Here's the form by the way Sam you look like a 5 year old" Ash said and i gave him the evils while Tom laughed.

"I was thinking the same I wasn't going to say anything in case she hit me though" Tom chuckled.

"Are you trying to say you're scared of me?" I asked.

"No that's not what I meant…" Tom started.

"Then what did you mean" I asked raising an eyebrow.

"I meant, look Sam can we talk about this after I don't suppose you want Ash around, no offence" Tom said. I just rolled my eyes and nodded.

"Here you go, come on Mils let's get out of here" Tom said carrying her out to the car. I was about to leave when Ash pulled me back.

"Are you alright? You seem a bit distance from Tom and it isn't like you two" he asked.

"Ash, to tell you the truth I don't know Tom hardly ever says anything to me anymore but like he just said before he was going to but he was too scared, I haven't even done anything. Why is he scared of me?" I asked starting to cry.

"Sam, I didn't mean to make you upset" Ash said pulling me in to an awkward hug. It is getting harder and harder to hide this from everyone I bet you Tom has noticed my mood swings which is why he is too scared to talk to me, I mean I'm like a teenager at the moment one minute everything can be fine then the next I could just snap for no reason and if Ash is also picking up on it how long is it going to be before everyone else notices…

"Look Ash I need to get going" I said wiping my eyes and running off.

"Tom, do you still love me?" I asked as I sat down.

"Of course I do why wouldn't I?" He asked leaning over and giving me a kiss.

"No reason" I said simply shrugging my shoulders.

We had been back to Tom's and got Amelia her lunch and put her military style combat boots on and then headed up to the nursery, Tom took her into class today while I waiting in the car. I couldn't stop thinking about everything my mind is full to burst, Does Tom really still love me? Does he even want my babies? What if Amelia doesn't want me to adopt her? What if Tom doesn't like the idea, I should never of trick him into signing them… I had hid then under a discharge form and asked him to sign them little did he know he was actually signing for the right for me to adopt Amelia as her mother and him as her father. What if I put on too much weight and I can't get rid of it? What if I lose the twins, there is nothing I have ever wanted more then to have my own children or what if I lose one like my Dad, he was a twin but well it's only him now the other twin died at birth what if that happens to me. I can't stop thinking like this and it's so hard I want Tom's help but I want to surprise him.

"Sam, you alright?" Tom asked when he got back into the car.

"I'm fine I promise" I say quickly wiping my eyes.

"You're not 'fine' we need to talk Sam, I want to help you but unless you open up I can't" Tom said taking my hand. I weakly smiled at him.

"Look why don't we go sit at the docks and have a chat" Tom asked and I nodded.

The drive to the docks was in silent and an awkward one for a change, how can I talk to Tom about this and not mention being pregnant, why do I always get myself into these situation awkward ones where I don't want to tell them the truth but they need to know, it was the same with Dylan and the affair and Ian trying to tell Ian I was leaving well in the end I just left god knows how he took and to be honest I don't care it was all in the past I need to stay strong, I let my emotions show to much with Tom and I know why that is, it's because I am truly in love with him I feel the strongest I ever have been no matter what I feel safe with Tom. Once we pulled up to the docks Tom got out of the car and I followed. He walked over and took my hand.

"Tom, I'm scared" I told him.

"About what?" He asked.

"Everything, mainly us though" I told him sitting down on the edge of the dock with my legs dangling off the edge.

"What about us? Sam I'm confused" He asked taking a seat down by me.

"Will we stay together no matter what? I mean I did something really stupid recently and you are probably going to hate me" I told him turning away so he couldn't see my face.

"I could never hate you and I don't believe you could do anything stupid? But what was it" He asked. I wanted this to be a surprise but I think being pregnant is a better one so I am just going to tell him.

"I got you to sign some adoption papers so that I was officially Amelia's Mum without telling you what they were for" I whispered.

"How did you manage that? But Sam why didn't you say that is all I could ever ask for she deserves a special someone to be her Mum and you are just prefect for that position" Tom asks.

"Well I hid them under some discharge papers and got you to sign. I was going to keep it until your birthday and surprise you but I kept worrying about how you might not want me to of done it and how stupid I was. I have even been worrying about whether you still love me or not. We hardly talk anymore" I told him.

"Oh Sammy, that was an amazing idea! Like I said I am so glad you did it I am actually ready to burst inside after that and Sam of cause I love you and I always will but recently you have been really hormonal and you seem to be fine one moment and then the next you aren't so I am scared that f I say something wrong you might leave and I don't want you too Sam I love you with all my heart and so does Amelia and I don't want to wind you up that you leave I need you Sam. I want you to be mine for ever I want you to stay with me, I want to have a family with you!" Tom said. that last thing he said made me smile and I jumped at him and held him close there is nothing I wanted to hear more than for him to say that.

"I Love you so much Tom and I am so sorry for being moody but no matter what I won't ever leave" I whispered in his ear and then kissed him.

"I love you too" Tom said pulling me into a deep kiss. When we eventually pulled apart I was sat on his lap and smiling like no tomorrow Tom also had a huge smile on his face.

"Samantha Nicholls…" He started.

"Yes Thomas Kent" I asked.

"Move in with me and Amelia" He asked.

"I thought you would never ask" I smiled at him leaning in for a kiss.

"I'll take that as a yes?" He asked after we pulled away I nodded.

"Only if we get a new bed yours sounds like it is going to break and well we can't have much fun on it now can we?" I said while playing with his hair.

"Well that can be arranged" Tom said tracing patterns on my back.

"Should we head into town then?" I asked jumping up off of him.

"Sounds like a plan" Tom said getting up and leading me towards the car.

While in the car we were talking about plans for Tom's.

"Actually Tom I was thinking maybe we can move out of town, get ourselves a nice house here on the docks maybe, somewhere with a big garden. An old house but with a modern feel, like one of these" I said pointing to one of the houses on the dock, there is about 5 of them, They are all old ranch houses which are on decking slightly risen from the garden with a massive porch and a balcony from the master bedroom, there is a massive garden which leads down to the lake with its own dock.

"It looks and sounds lovely but in case you hadn't noticed none of these are for sale" Tom said.

"I suppose so, but that's only if you don't know the right people…" I said.

"Sam what do you mean?" Tom questioned as we pulled up in town.

"Well one of those houses is Daddy's" I said as I got out of the car.

"Are you serious" Tom asked and I nodded.

"We used to spend all summer down there as it was closer to the cliffs, Dad said he was going to let me have it when the time was right" I said and took Tom's hand as we started to walk to the toy shop.

"What about Jack?" Tom asked.

"He never wanted it, he wants a modern apartment in town, never understood why but Dad knows how much I love the outdoors so he told me when the time was right to ask him for the keys" I explained.

"So all this time you have been telling me to redo the house up and we haven't had to" Tom said.

"Well I never felt the time was right to ask for the keys but now you want me to move in and you want a family I guess the 4 bedroom ranch by the lake is a perfect idea but it can wait I guess" I said simply as we got to the toy shop.

"Wait until what?" Tom questioned.

"We are actually going to have a family, I mean there's no point in moving Amelia all that way until we know for sure" I told him.

"Hmmm, I understand the logic but Sam do you think we will make it to that point" Tom questioned.

"One day" I smiled and then noticed what Amelia wanted us to get it was a lalaloopsy, loopy hair doll they are £35 but after this morning I think we can stretch that far!

"Tom what one do you think she would like more, Peanut or Jewel?" I asked, thinking Tom was next to me but he wasn't I looked behind me and noticed he was busy with looking at all the Lego I couldn't help but smile. I looked at both of the Dolls and decided I would get Peanut as she was wearing a tutu so I picked one up and walked over to Tom.

"Babe you ready? We got to go and find some costumes yet remember" I asked him walking over holding the Doll.

"I hadn't forgot, come on then" He said placing the Lego set back it was a Lego back to the future set which I had never seen before, I'm going to keep this in mind as it is his birthday in a week, he is such a big kid I'm sure he would love it.

"Can I interest you in a cuddly Lion Sir?" The young lad behind the till asked.

"Not a chance got way too many cuddly toys at home" Tom replied and I just smiled.

"Fair point, that will be £34.99 then please" The young lad said, I was rummaging in my bag looking for some cash when Tom pulled his card out.

"I've got this Babe" He told me and I smiled. Once we had paid the young lad put it in a bag and handed it over.

"Thanks" I told him and Tom smiled and we left to go to the fancy dress shop.

When we got to the fancy dress shop Tom was mucking about putting on wigs and specking in stupid voices I was just giggling at him and I rested my hands on my stomach thinking of our Baby beans.

"Babe look over here, we can dress up as Captain Jack and Elizabeth Swann" Tom said turning to look at me I quickly took my hands off of my stomach.

"Sounds great Tom at least we will match Millie" I said walking over to him.

"Babe there isn't an XS do you think the S will be alright for you?" Tom asked after he had picked up a large for himself. I nodded and he picked it up and we took them over to the till there was an old man behind it.

"Halloween party?" He questioned as he scanned them and we nodded. "That will be £62.98 Please" he added.

"Wow that's expensive" I said.

"Expensive, Sam you are the queen of expensive clothing" Tom joked putting his ard in and hitting the pin.

"Alright" I said rolling my eyes. Tom just laughed and thanked the man taking the bag we then walked down to the market to get some fresh vegetables and fruit.

"Sam we better get going its already 2:20!" Tom exclaimed looking at his phone I looked at him and we started to run to the car we put everything into the boot and then got in driving off to the nursery the whole journey laughing and mucking about. It was so nice for it just to be me and Tom back the way it used to be. I smiled to myself and rested my hands on my stomach.

* * *

_** big-bear-lake-vacation-rentals/p145816/ By the way this is the ranch I was basing it on, I know its unlikely to find one like this in wales but oh well! **_


	85. Chapter 85

_**AN - I am so sorry, I tried to publish my chapter when I got home from my training but I couldn't get on Fanfiction I was told there was a server error :( But here it is now and there should only be 3 chapters until Tom's birthday with the 3rd one actually being it now, I will try and give you another update later - Enjoy :) **_

Tom parked up in the playground so we both head into the nursery to meet Mrs Dempsey as after this morning it wasn't possible. We were 15 minutes early somehow so we decided to go into the school first and have a chat with Mr Wood if he was available. We walked up to the reception

"Hey, we were wondering if it was possible to talk to Mr Wood?" I asked the lady behind the desk.

"I will just give him a ring, who should I say is asking?" She asked picking up the phone.

"Mr Kent and Miss Jordan" I told her with a Smile, she nodded and passed on the information over the phone just as she finished saying our names Mr Wood had appeared in the doorway.

"Tom, Sam. Come in" He said gesturing for us to follow to his office.

"We just wanted to say sorry for our exit yesterday we never said goodbye" I explained taking a seat on Tom's lap as there was only 2 chairs.

"It's quite alright Sam, I should be saying thank you for helping Lauren. I never knew you went on to be doctors, Sam I would expect it from you but Tom? What made you become one?" Mr wood asked I smiled and then rested my head on Tom's shoulder.

"Well you see sir My dad was a doctor too he just was never as Famous as Sam's but after my Dad became ill I promised to look after my Mum and by doing so I thought there was no better way than training as a doctor not just for the medical skill in case she ever became ill as well but I would have a stable income" Tom explained.

"I understand, your daughter Amelia? Does she share her parent's passion?" He asked.

"She is only 4 give her a chance to grow up!" I said laughing.

"Well she has surgeons blood in her veins so it is only a matter of time" Mr Wood said.

"Oh but she doesn't, Amelia is Tom's child from a previous relationship" I explained.

"But you have adopted her Sammy so you are her Mum" Tom added.

"I see, do you think you will have children Sam?" Mr Wood asked.

"Well who knows what the future will bring but I do hope so" I said smiling.

"One day Sammy" Tom said wrapping his arms around me.

"Is that the time already, sorry but I need to go, feel free to pop in anytime and have a chat, I don't see many old pupils" Mr wood said getting up.

"It's fine we need to head round to the nursery and Get Amelia anyway" I said and stood up, Tom smiled and got up taking my hand we said our goodbyes and walked off to the nursery.

It had just gone 3 when we got there but there was no chance they could say we were late we were just held up.

"Hi, I'm Tom and this is Sam my partner. We are Amelia's parents" Tom said.

"Sorry we couldn't meet this morning but something popped up" I added.

"Hello, it's fine honestly. Amelia is lovely and polite to everyone but she seems to be ignoring me" Mrs Dempsey explained.

"I wouldn't take it personally, she just doesn't seem to understand that she will still see Miss Matthews again and that she is just going to have her baby, she has a close bond with Miss Matthews so it may take a while for her to get to know you but I'm sure it will be fine once she has done" I explained.

"Daddy" Amelia said running over.

"Alright Princess? Is Mrs Dempsey Nice" Tom asked.

"She's okay" Amelia added.

"Millie be nice, please!" I told her.

"Sorry Mummy, I will be" She said and I raised my eyebrows so she quickly added "Sorry Mrs Dempsey"

"It's fine Amelia, I know change can be difficult" Mrs Dempsey said. I smiled.

"Right we better be off" Tom said picking up Amelia and I went and got her lunch box. Once we were back in the car Tom started to talk about Mrs Dempsey.

"She is alright I guess but she is nothing like Lauren" He said.

"You're telling me! She would be great teaching a bunch of 10 year olds but not these guys they are too young she doesn't use appropriate language 'change can be difficult' as if Amelia even understood any of that" I complained. Tom just chuckled. "What" I added after I had heard him.

"You are so funny when you are angry" He said smiling. I just rolled my eyes and went on my phone trying to ignore what he said.

We had been stuck in traffic for a good 20minutes, a road was up by the school causing loads of traffic jams and we were basically just sat at grid lock, I was busy texting Lauren.

**_Lauren: Hey Sam, How does Amelia like Mrs Dempsey? Xx_**

**_Me: She seems to be a bit distant with her but then again I don't like her either! Can I get you induced so you can give birth and come back sooner! Xx_**

**_Lauren: No thanks Sam! You will get used to her I promise I wasn't sure at first but now she is a lot easier to get on with x_**

**_Me: We will see xx_**

"Daddy can we go to the beach tonight" Amelia asked.

"Well it's going to be cold and windy, why do you want to go?" Tom replied.

"Because Mummy said this morning that we can see some shooting stars tonight if we go out" Amelia said and I just shook my head.

"How after everything that has happened today is it that you remember me telling you that" I questioned, Amelia just shrugged her shoulders.

"Well can we?" she repeated.

"Sam it's up to you we can go down to the cliffs and take a tent with us as we are likely to be there all night and Amelia you need to go to bed then for a few hours before we leave or you won't see any" Tom explained.

"Tom that sounds perfect but how are we going to get Amelia to fall asleep now?" I asked.

"We drive around for a while and in no time she will be sound asleep" Tom said smiling.

Just as Tom had predicted by the time we had got home she was sound asleep so we decided we would leave her in the car while Tom ran around in the garage finding the tent, sleeping bags and everything else we required while I went upstairs and got changed into my burgundy converse tracksuit and got Amelia's Navy one. Once I had the clothes ready I went and collected her pillow and got mine and Tom's pillows along with some throw overs and took them all down stairs and loaded them into the car in the already full boot which Tom had filled with the tent, sleeping bags, roll mats, a camping stove (Not sure why but there you go) and the camera. I then went and put my shoes on in the door way leaving it open so I could see Amelia while Tom went to get changed into his tracksuit it was also Navy. I was sat on the door step watching over at the car and Amelia when I noticed my mind wondering back to my little baby beans, I wonder what they are thinking about, are they talking to each other in there, I know this isn't logical stuff but I think it's cute if you just imagine your too little babies having a chat on the inside. I move my hands back to my stomach and start to wonder how I should phase the card from Tom's birthday…

"Sam, I'm going to make some flasks of hot drinks what would you like? Tea, coffee or hot chocolate?" Tom calls from the bottom of the stairs.

"Ummm can we not do one of each" I called back.

"Sure thing, do you want me to pack some biscuits and snacks?" Tom asked.

"Alright as long as there is Oreos! When are we going to wake Millie up?" I asked.

"Its been a good 2 hours since she fall asleep and we are going to need to go soon to set everything up so you can get her up now and get her changed if you like" Tom called through, so I got up and went out to the car and gently tapped Amelia's shoulders and whispering her name, she started to stir.

"Time to get ready Millie" I told her and unstrapped her picking her up out of the car and taking her upstairs.

"Are we going?" Amelia asked.

"Not yet just need to get you changed" I told her and she nodded. I took her upstairs and got her into her tracksuit.

"Hmmm I'm not sure we will be warm enough, I'm going to find you a jacket you can go downstairs and see if Daddy is ready though" I told her and she nodded heading off down stairs.

I found Amelia a burgundy gilet with a faux fur hood and then I found myself a navy one with a faux fur hood, I took these down stairs and Tom had just finished getting Amelia's shoes on and then heading off into the car with her, I picked up the bag with all the flasks in and took it to the car but before I got in I noticed we didn't have Uno so I ran back in to get him making sure I had locked the door before we set off for the cliffs, Tonight is going to be perfect!


	86. Chapter 86

_**AN - Warning there are sexual references in this chapter but I did try not to mention anything directly! - The song Runaway Train by Soul Asylum, if you haven't heard it before I thing you should have a listen, I love the song - updating the next chapter hmmm unsure on when that will happen but I will try my hardest - Enjoy! :) **_

Just as Tom had predicted there would be a lot of traffic and a lot of people making their way up to the cliffs. We had already been sat in the car for half an hour and yet we had hardly moved no wonder Amelia was asleep again, I decided to turn the radio on and she what they were playing.

_'You got a great car  
Yeah, what's wrong with it today?  
I used to have one too,  
Maybe I'll come and have a look.  
I really love  
your hairdo, yeah  
I'm glad you like mine too,  
See what looking pretty cool will get ya?' _

"So, what do you do?  
Oh yeah, I wait tables too.  
No, I haven't heard your band,  
'Cause you guys are pretty new.  
But if you dig on vegan food  
Well come over to my work  
I'll have them cook you  
Something that you'll really love." Tom sang along while tapping the steering wheel to the beat, I couldn't help but smile and then join in singing the next verse...

"'cause I like you  
yeah I like you  
and I'm feeling so bohemian like you  
Yeah I like you yeah I like you.  
And I feel whoa ho woo" Me and Tom both sang at the same time and then burst out laughing after that verse.

"Didn't know you where into alternative rock" Tom said. I raised an eyebrow. "What" Tom added at the end of his statement?

"Then there must be a lot of things you don't know about me" I said winking.

"Well why don't you tell me then?" Tom questioned.

"You will find out one day" I told him smiling then flicking through my I-pod after plugging it into the radio. I found the song I was looking for and hit play… 'Runaway Train by Soul Asylum'

"Tell me this is not the best Alternative Rock song ever" I said to Tom.

"I Love this song I used to listen to it all the time when I was planning on running from my Dad but it always made me realise that…" I cut in and finished the rest of Tom's sentence "No matter how bad things are at home it is better than being alone on the streets"

"Sam that is exactly what I would have said" Tom said.

"That's because what you describe is exactly what I used to do" I smiled.

We spent another 20 minutes in traffic talking, singing and playing old songs we used to listen to when we were kids until we eventually arrived at the cliffs there was already 7 other cars in the car park and it was only just gone 7. Tom started to stretch his legs and I went around and woke up Amelia and taking her out of the car so she could stretch her legs too. Before heading up the cliff we went too little burger bar and got some chips for dinner, once eaten we made our way back to the car and got out all of the things we required and struggling to get it all up the cliffs and we were not clever enough to put things into bags.

Once at the top of the cliffs it was a massive relief that even though there was 3 other tent's up here there was still room for ours so we started to set it up making sure we had everything ready in case Amelia fall asleep, we wanted her too so that when midnight came she would be awake and able to see the stars so we had got everything ready and then I was trying to settle down Amelia by reading her a story and she eventually fall asleep, Tom was sat outside of the tent drinking some coffee and talking to the other people that where up here so I went out a joined in.

"I take it she is asleep" Tom said and I smiled sitting down next to him.

"I will be too if you don't give me some of that Coffee" I said and Tom past me a cup.

"By the way guys this is my partner Sam as she decided to rudely ignore all of you" Tom said and I slapped him.

"Well, I'm Gemma, this is my husband Callum and my Son is called Finley but he is asleep in the tent" One of the ladies explained.

"How old is Finley?" I asked.

"He is 6, his teacher told him about the shooting stars so here we are waiting" Gemma Laughed.

"Amelia is 4 and well I was the one that told her" I said laughing and Gemma smiled.

"Well I'm Josh and this is my partner Danny" He said smiling.

"Alright? I love you hoodie by the way" I said smiling over at them.

"Rhys, please to meet you and over there is my son Tom, don't expect him to talk to you he is at that stage" Rhys explained.

We were sat around a make shift campfire, chatting and roasting marshmallows and before we knew it, it was 11:30 and we could see the stars.

"I'm going to go wake up Amelia, Tom get the camera" I said getting up.

"Millie, you can see the shooting stars if you get up" I whispered shaking her shoulders, she turned around and yawned.

"Is it nursery already?" she asked and I couldn't help but laugh.

"No quite, come with me though" I told her picking her up and wrapping her up in a blanket, once out of the tent you should of seen her little face light up as all around us there are shooting stars flying about lighting up the skies. I walked over to tom and he put his arm around my shoulders and ii rested my head on his while balancing Amelia on my hip. While we were standing there watching the natural firework show all you could hear from everyone, including me was ooo's and ahhh's every time another one went by, Amelia tried pointing to each one but she wasn't quick enough, after an hour of standing up most of us had headed back to our tent's and got a blanket and sat down watching them except for Josh and Danny who were still standing on the edge of the cliff holding hands, I thought it was really sweet how they can just be themselves around people. I know lots of gay couples who hide themselves away from the public scared to show their affection.

It was 2:30 am and we had been watching the stars for 3 hours and Amelia had fallen back to sleep so I went and placed her back into the tent and wrapped her up before heading back out to Tom. I couldn't help but laugh to myself when I noticed Tom he had his eyes glues to the sky I went out and sat behind him and wrapped my arms around his waist.

"Tom, did you mean it when you said you wanted a Family?" I asked.

"Of course I did Sam, there is nothing better I could think of" He replied.

"Well maybe we should start trying?" I said.

"What, right here right now?" Tom asked.

"I couldn't think or anywhere more romantic" I replied kissing his neck, I had been feeling really horny but I know it is just down to be pregnant but either way.

"Sam I'm not sure maybe it's not such a good idea there are a lot of people around" Tom said. After he said that I just realised how much of a bad idea it was I'm glad he said no as you shouldn't have sex while pregnant until 14 weeks, but that doesn't help the fact I'm really up for it.

"I guess so" I replied and kissed him once more before heading off into the tent and having a little fun (I leave you to decided how Sam is having 'fun')

(Tom's POV)

Tonight has been perfect, spending a night out under the stars with my two favourite girls and Sam she must really want a family to after what she had said. I spent another 20 minutes outside watching the last of the shooting stars before heading back into the tent I walked over to Josh and Danny.

"Night, guys going to turn in for the night Amelia has nursery tomorrow at 8:30" I said.

"You are going to be exhausted" Danny said and I nodded.

"Night" Josh replied, I smiled and went off into the tent, where I was greeted by a very smiley Sam.

"What have you been up to?" I asked her.

"Well wouldn't you like to know" Sam said winking.

"Actually I think I will pass, I just want to snuggle up to you and go to bed" I said wrapping my arms around her and giving her a kiss.

"I Love you Tom" Sam said.

"I Love you too, Sammy" I replied and we snuggled down to go to bed.

(End of POV)

Thursday 30th October - 8:00am.

"Tom come on get up we need to get Amelia to nursery quick or she is going to be late" I said after I got up and checked my phone.

"Hmmm, Please 5 more minutes" Tom said, I rolled my eyes and looked at Amelia and got her up instead, she can just go in her tracksuit today. Instead of waking Tom up I took his Key's and left him a note.

'_I've taken Amelia to nursery,  
I will be back in half an hour.  
Love you lots Sam and Amelia! Xxx'_

"Come on Baby Girl, give daddy a kiss then we are going to nursery" I told Amelia and she did so. I knew it would take her awhile to walk down to the bottom of the cliff so I picked her up and jogged down, I didn't want to run as the ground was slightly damp with dew and as I have 3 other people on me it's not right to risk them. Once down at the bottom I placed Amelia on the floor and we walked over to the car it was 8:10 this seriously is a race against the clock for a start she hasn't even got any lunch so I am going to have to go home and get her some but that can wait. Right now I just need to get her there on time.

"Right in you get" I told her as she jumped into her seat and I strapped her up.

"Sam" Someone called from behind me.

"Yes?" I asked turning around noticing it was Gemma.

"The road works haven't begun yet we should be fine" Gemma explained.

"Thanks Gemma, better get going, what school is Finley at?" I asked.

"Three Oaks Primary" Gemma said.

"That's Amelia's Nursery; do you want me to drop him off for you?" I asked.

"Would you? We are in a right mess up here we have to get to work as well, do you and Tom not work?" Gemma asked.

"We are both doctors at Holby City ED now I will give my number to Finley's teacher and talk to you later better get these two off" I said making sure Finley was strapped in.

"Alright, I'll get Callum to give mine To Tom as I'm guessing he still at the top of the cliff" Gemma said.

"You got that right, see you" I said climbing into the car and driving off.

Gemma was right there were no road works just yet so it only took 10 minutes to get to the school, Amelia and Finley where having a right old chat which I thought was quite cute we got to school at 8:25, I quickly run around to the nursery and leave Amelia with Lauren as she is back today but Mrs Dempsey is also there.

"Look Lauren no time to explain I need to get this one to his class, but I need to drop Amelia's lunch in as I forgot it so I will talk to you then" I said and Lauren looked confused but just agreed.

"Right Finley, what's your teacher's name" I asked him as he directed me to his class.

"Miss Taylor, she is very nice" Finley said just as we arrived outside his class.

"You must be Sam, Finley's mum rang and said she asked a friend to drop Finley off" Miss Taylor said.

"That's me, and yes she was running late and as my Daughter goes to the nursery here so I offered to drop Finley so, Gemma could make it to work on time" I explained and Miss Taylor smiled at me.

"Finley, do you want to go in to the class and I will just so Sam where to put your things" Miss Taylor said.

"Bye Sam" Finley said as walked in to the class.

"Bye Finley, have a good day" I said walking off with his pre made lunch which was a clever idea from Gemma why didn't I think of that.

"If you just place his coat and lunch on his peg that would be great" Miss Taylor said then waved a walked off back into her class, I quickly got out a piece of paper a wrote my number on it and put it Finley's lunch box before heading out to the playground then driving back to the cliffs which is going to take some time as the road works would of started.

When I finally got back to the cliffs I had been double the amount of time I wrote down for Tom. When I go up to the top I noticed that our Tent wasn't the only one left, Josh and Danny where still up here, I went into our to see if Tom had started to pack things up but he hadn't he was still asleep so I went and sat cross legged behind his head and bent down to kiss him which woke him up.

"Right you had an hour instead of 5 minutes so get up" I told him once he was looking at me.

"An hour? What about Amelia?" Tom asked.

"She is at Nursery, I have taken her and had time to get back all while you were still asleep" I told him then stood up and started to roll up the Amelia's sleeping bag. Tom got out of his and he was just in his t-shirt and boxers and for some reason he was very excited, I just looked and him and smiled he should of taken me up on my offer last night.

"Sammy" Tom called.

"Yes?" I asked.

"Where are my clothes?" He questioned.

"Oh I put them on the bench outside while I was sorting out what was what" I told him.

"Great, Can you go get them for me?" He asked.

"Why, there is no one out there to see you" I told him and he got up and went outside.

I had rolled up all the roll mats and packed away the sleeping bags and decided I would take them outside where I saw Tom who was having a very awkward conversation with Danny.

"I thought you said there was no one out here" Tom said angrily.

"Well there wasn't when I came back" I replied simply and started to pile everything up on the bench. Tom just shock is head and came over and gave me a hug.

"What was that for?" I asked.

"Am I not allowed to hug my girlfriend now?" Tom replied and I just embraced the hug.

It was 11:30 by the time we had actually packed up everything and got home, Tom was busy unpacking the car so I ran inside and quickly got Amelia's lunch ready and then I went to drop it off at the school.

"Lauren, here is her lunch" I said running into the nursery.

"Just in time they are about to sit down and eat, what took you so long?" Lauren asked.

"Well as Amelia has probably told you we went up to the cliffs last night and well I left Tom asleep while I dropped her off so when I got back I had to wake him up and then we had to pack everything up and get home but Tom woke up wanting a bit of fun so before we left I gave him a bit of pleasure" I explained.

"Sam, you of all people should know the risk of sex while pregnant at your stage" Lauren exclaimed but in a whisper.

"We didn't have sex I just relieved him of his 'problem'" I said simply. Lauren just shook he head in a jokey way.

"All that to get nothing back from him" She joked.

"I don't mind" I told her and licked my lips in a jokey way before handing Amelia her lunch and heading home.


	87. Chapter 87

**_AN - It's been awhile I know but I was busy writing a story for my sisters birthday, I have finished that now so it should mean I have more time to work on this story but now I have a work placement and A paid job for the end of this week and start of next week so I am sorry if I have no time to update but the next Chapter will be Tom's birthday! - Enjoy!_**

We went to Alice's last night for dinner and just so we could see if Amelia's costume she made fitted and it did so that was one less thing to worry about tomorrow morning, while we were at Alice's Me and Alice made some cupcakes for the nursery party while Tom and Amelia where playing in Tom's old tree house. We made 24 cupcakes which is the number of children who are in Amelia's class we made 12 chocolate ones which we decorated with a big white swirl of icing and then put on two little black dots on for eyes, they were meant to be ghost but they didn't all turn out that way! We also made 12 vanilla ones which we decorated with some orange icing with a bit of green at the top and black facial features similar to ones you would cut a pumpkin like. While we were making the cupcakes we were having a chat about Tom's birthday and who was going to get him what as he claims he needs some new jeans and shoes. I told Alice that I had a surprise to give Tom and I am also going to give him the keys to the Lodge by the docks Alice thought it was a lovely idea I also told her I would get him some new Converses and she can get what she likes. Alice agree and told me she would be going into town next week if I wanted to tag along, I said I would give her a ring and on that note we had to drop the conversation as Tom walked in, we had finished the cupcakes and eaten dinner so we headed home.

Friday 31st October or you could say Halloween….. oOoooOOo Scary!

"Millie" I called her from mine and Tom's room, we were ready Tom as Captain Jack and me as Elizabeth Swann.

"Wow you look like real pirates" Amelia said when she skipped into the room.

"ARGH" Tom said creeping up on Amelia from behind scaring her, she jumped out of her skin and I just laughed at her.

"It wasn't funny, Mummy" She said storming off.

"Stroppy moo" I said walking off to sort out my hair.

"She taking up your habit's Sammy" Tom said.

"My habits? You're the one who begs for stuff when you have been told no" I said rolling my eyes.

"Yer, yer. Did you actually give her that Doll we got her the other day?" Tom asked.

"No I didn't actually, she can have it after nursery if she behaves while we are there" I said walking off into her room.

"Right stroppy moo, let's get you ready" I told her picking up her costume. She just look at me as if to say shut up, I know it isn't right to wind her up but she is so funny when she is trying to be angry.

"Mummy, are you and Daddy staying at nursery today" Amelia asked while I put her in her little tutu costume.

"Yep, Now if we don't get going we are going to be late" I told her putting the hair band around the last braid in her hair. She has 5 small braids down one side of her hair each with little red ribbon braided in.

"Tom, we need to go or we are going to be late!" I shouted running down stairs with Amelia in my arms, I stopped at the bottom to put her shoes on chose her brown suede boots. I made sure I had my phone and then put on my own brown boots. Tom then turned up in the hall with a pair of old leather boots that he is borrowing from a friend.

"Come on then, Sam you are going to have to drive there is no chance I can in this" Tom said taking Amelia's hand and leading her to the car. I just got up and took the keys off the side making sure I had locked the door then I set off for the nursery, Lauren got Dean to drop her to work today so that we could park in her space. We got to the nursery at 8:00 this was because Lauren asked us to go in and help set it up for the kids. I made sure I had the cupcakes then made my way over to the nursery with Tom and Amelia following.

"Wow Sam, Tom you look amazing and you do too Amelia" Lauren said when we walked in.

"As do you, now where do you want these" I asked her. She had an orange t-shirt on which she had it designed like a pumpkin where it covered her bump and she had some brown leggings on as if they were soil.

"If you leave them in the kitchen for now that would be great, Tom this is Mr Mallet, Dave you wouldn't mind helping him put up some of the bunting up would you" Lauren asked and Tom nodded and set off to help him "Right me and you are going to set up some games" Lauren added looking at me so we headed off outside to set up, we were greeted by a Miss Andrews dressed as a cat and a Mrs Dempsey who was dressed as a witch... Don't tell her this but she suits the part quite nicely. While we were coming to the end of the decorating parents started to arrive we hadn't realised but it was 8:30 and we had to let the kids in!

The day had got off to a nice start all the children were dressed up and most of the parents where too, Ben and Hazel also decided they would stay Hazel was dressed as a witch and Ben was a wizard and Ellie was also a witch, some other parents stayed as well but they didn't dress up.

I was put on the bobbing apple game is was so funny watching the kids fail to get the apples not many did manage it got a little packet of sweets as a prize. Tom was busy on pin the nose on the pumpkin, which surprisingly the children were quite good at and again if they got it right they would get a little bag of sweets the idea with the sweets is that the children whose parents won't take them out trick or treating will still get the joy of sweets at Halloween.

Ben was in charge of a game of monsters tag which was just a bit of fun and a space where the kids could let of steam. Hazel was on the scavenger hunt there was various Halloween objects hidden around the playground and once the group of children had found all of them but only if they worked together would they get a packet of sweets. Lauren was on the Relay races we had a witch's hat each team had to run so far wearing without it falling but they were not allowed to touch it. There were lots of other games and things going on that before we knew it, it was already lunch time so the children were taken inside and us adults where left to sever them all the food, last but not least was one of mine and Alice's 'spooky' cupcakes, the children ate them faster than we imagined. The children were then taken to the playground with the lunch supervisors so we all could have a break before we carried on after lunch.

Me, Tom, Hazel and Ben where all chatting away about Amelia and Ellie. After a while Tom and Ben had departed and made their way over to the kitchen to get a drink.

"I know its short notice and all but Tomorrow night do you mind having Amelia sleep over? It's just everyone at the ED has organised a surprise party for Tom as it's his 30th on Monday." I asked.

"Sure thing but she may come home tired as Layton still wakes up quite a bit in the night" Hazel said with a smile.

"She should be fine, she could sleep though anything" I told Hazel and she laughed.

"I wish Ellie was like that" Hazel said as Tom and Ben walked back over.

"Like what?" Ben asked sitting down.

"Like Amelia, she can sleep though anything" Hazel said.

"And how did you get onto that conversation Sam?" Tom asked.

"We organised a sleep over for Amelia, tomorrow night and Hazel mentioned Layton getting up in the night might keep Amelia up but nothing can wake her up unless she is ready" I said.

"Well you got that right the amount of noise you make in bed is enough to wake the dead" Tom said.

"Would you rather I was silent so you couldn't tell or not if I was enjoying it" I asked raising an eyebrow. Tom was about to bite back but Ben interrupted.

"As much as we are 'enjoying' hearing about your sex life I'm sure a nursery is not the right place to be discussing it"

"Fair point mate" Tom said.

It was the end of our lunch and the children had come back inside we had a game of wrap the mummy and the children where a lot better than I expected. We also had a few party games such as musical chairs, musical statues and musical bumps but the last activity the children did was a little Halloween parade in front of the rest of the school and the teachers had to choose who they thought had the best fancy dress. There was also a chance for each year group to do the same.

"After a very close vote these Children win down to creativity, I can see that a lot of you are not wearing shop brought costumes which is great because if there is one thing we dislike when doing dressing up days is when people wear shop brought costumes, so without further delay the winning children are… From Year 6, Sophie and her homemade spider costume, in Year 5, Jack and his Homemade Robot, Year 4, Alex and his homemade dragon, Year 3, Lucy and her homemade Candy corn, Year 2, Oliver and his homemade Robot, Year 1, Emily and her homemade owl, Reception, Blake and his homemade willy wonka and in Nursery, Amelia and her homemade Pirate. All of these children will win a box of sweets to share with their family who helped to make the costumes. That is all for this week, I hope each class had a wonderful Halloween party!" Mr Wood said and then dismissed the assembly and we were allowed to take Amelia there and then which was great as we were tried, I don't know how Lauren does it… Running around a classroom all day, 5 days a week and while pregnant, she deserves a medal!


	88. Chapter 88

_**AN - I am so sorry it has been so long. I have been ill recently and just not had the motivation to do anything I am so behind on even reading fic's that I cant even remember what chapters I got to on which ones! I am feeling better but still not 100% and I will try my hardest to update soon! - Now I am going to watch last nights episode as I didn't even have the motivation to get out of bed yesterday :/**_

The Halloween party was a great success all the parents complemented Lauren on here idea's and also wished her luck as she has now taken early maternity leave. On Saturday evening I managed to convince Tom that we should go to the pub for a few drinks before we went out later on, little did Tom know that the ED had planned a surprise party for him. The party was great...

After everyone was too drunk to care that I wasn't drinking as before that all I had was loads if question off of everyone including Dad as to why I wasn't drinking which was awkward but Tess came to my rescue palling me away from the crowd. Tom's cake was great they had it made professionally it was made to look like the operation board game.

I also went to town with Alice and together we got a few things for Tom and managed to convince Dad that now was the right time for the keys to the lodge, he wasn't sure at first after everything I went through with Dylan that it may affect me and Tom as it was after I moved in with Dylan thinks started to take a turn for the worse. I hadn't told Dad that I had moved in with Tom which is why it was even more of a shock when I asked but after a lot of persuasion I got the Keys.

November 4th 2013 ~ Tom's 30th Birthday

I had got up early and managed to wake Amelia up and sneak off down stairs to make Tom a full English for breakfast.

"Mummy how old is Daddy?" Amelia asked while I had her drawing a placemat for him.

"He is 30, a 3 and a 0" I told her with a smile, there was no point lying to her as Alice had got him a massive balloon with it on and all of his cards and what not.

I had finished the cooking and placed the plate on the tray with Amelia's tablemat on I went upstairs first. I placed the tray on the side and lent over the bed and gave Tom a gentle but passionate kiss to wake him up.

"Morning, sexy I couldn't help but notice you're going to be a Dad" I said after breaking away he looked confused but he had only just woken up I then passed him over the card I made from the scan picture, it had the scan picture on the front with the words 'Happy Birthday Daddy' then on the inside as I had stuck it to a piece of card I had put the appointment card for the next scan and the words 'Dear Daddy,

Sorry you cannot see us right now but we hope you can come and see us soon with Mummy, Happy Birthday.

Love you lost your Baby Beans xxx'

"S...Sam... I... Don't... No... What... To... Say" Tom stuttered.

"How about yes?" I asked.

"Of course it's a yes I can't wait" he shouted and got up giving me a hug.

"This is the best Present anyone has ever given me, thank you Sam, I love you so much" he said smiling and holding my stomach.

"Thank you? It was your handy work too" I said smiling. Tom just shook his head in a jokey matter.

"Happy Birthday Daddy" Amelia said running in and jumping and Tom.

"Thanks Princess" Tom said picking her up and spinning her around.

"Tom eat that breakfast then come downstairs me and Millie have some presents for you" I told him this then took Amelia off of I'm, I wanted to give him time to think about the babies.

(Tom's POV)

I had picked up the card and appointment card and hand one in each hand, I can't believe it! Twins! Me and Sam are having Twins. This is a dream come true, since the moment I laid eyes on Sam in the pub in March this year i was going to do everything I could for her she is an angel sent from heaven and I can't believe we are going to have children together. Amelia is going to be over the moon ever since she found out Lauren was having a baby all she has been asking if with we can have one too and now we are but not one two! This has got to be the best present ever. I wonder how long Sam has known and how she managed to keep it from me until today, I noticed she was a little different I mean for a start she hasn't touched Alcohol in weeks and surprisingly she is eating more and her mood swings it all adds up how can I be a doctor and not even realise…

"Daddy" Amelia shouted fear in her voice.

"Yes Princess" I called back running downstairs.

"Mummy had fallen over" Amelia shouted while I came running into the room.

"Sam, Babe, open your eyes" I asked her running over a sitting by her, I checked her pulse but it was low. "Amelia get the phone and call 999 for me please, Amelia nodded and went over to the phone.

"When they ask what service you need tell them ambulance" I told her and waited to hear her say it while I was waiting I was checking Sam over to see what could of caused her to faint.

"Hello Ambulance" Amelia whispered.

"Princess I don't know if they would have heard that try a bit louder please, I know your scared but mummy will be fine if you can talk to them explain who you are tell them your name and how old you are and then tell them Mummy needs and Ambulance" I explained and Amelia nodded.

"My names Amelia" She started "I'm 4 years old and Mummy needs an ambulance" Amelia finished.

"Good girl what did they say" I asked.

"They told me to wait a second and to stay calm" Amelia said. I carried on assessing Sam when I decided to push her hair out of her face and with doing so I noticed the back of her head was bleeding. I didn't mention anything to Amelia about this as I didn't want to scare her even more.

"Daddy, the lady asked where we live" Amelia called over.

"20 Oak tree gardens" I told her.

"We live at 20 Oak tree gardens" Amelia said.

"Yes Mummy fall over and now she looks like she is sleeping, Daddy is here and he is a doctor" Amelia told them.

"Daddy, the lady said there will be an ambulance here in a few minutes" Amelia said.

"Tell the lady thank you" I said then got up to get a cold flannel for Sam and she was beginning to get warm.

"Thank you" Amelia said then put the phone down.

"Good girl Mille, you are so brave, can you go wait by the door and let the paramedics in when they get here, they will be wearing green suits" I explained and she went off.

(End Of POV)

(Jeff's POV)

"Dix we have a shout, A Lady has fallen over and is unconscious, there's a doctor on scene but also a young child" I called jumping up into the ambulance. Iain when running over towards the ambulance, I'll come.

"Sure mate just listen to me will you once we are there" I said and Dixie started to wonder over.

"Why can we never how our break? They must make a note of when we are break and just call us out on purpose" Dixie was complaining as she got into the ambulance. "Where are we heading?" She questioned as I sped off.

"20 Oak tree Gardens" I replied.

"Is Ash on shift?" Dixie asked.

"I'm not sure why?" I asked.

"That's Tom's address, I'm going to radio thought to the ED and meet you inside" Dixie replied as we pulled up onto the drive.

"Right" I nodded and jumped out running around to the back to get a kit but Iain was already holing one "Come on then Dixie will meet us inside" I told him and we walked up to the door ringing the bell.

"I can't open it Daddy, it's locked" Amelia said scared.

"Amelia" I called through the door "It's Jeff, is the back door open?" I asked.

"Yes me and Mummy where in the garden before" Amelia replied.

"Right go and tell Daddy we are on our way in Princess" I called and I heard her little footsteps running off.

"How did you know the girls name?" Iain asked as we were running around to the garden.

"Her parents are both doctors at the ED" I said as I got to the back door and opened it.

"Alright Princess?" I asked Amelia and she nodded. I went through into the kitchen and noticed Sam on the floor and Tom holding her in tears.

"Tom mate I need you to step back, can you tell me what happened?" I asked, Tom just shook his head and took a step back.

"Iain I need a dressing and oxygen" I called to him while checking Sam's pulse it was low and I knew we needed to act quick. I turned to him but he seemed to be frozen with this very strange look on his face "Iain" I shouted at him and he snapped out of it.

"Sorry Jeff what was it? Oxygen and what?" Iain said passing over the oxygen and at the point there was a knock at the door so Tom went off to open it.

"A Dressing, she has a cut to the back of the head and is losing lots of blood" I explained putting the mask over her face gently and then putting the dressing on her head.

Tom walked back in with Dixie.

"Dix we need a stretcher" I told her and she nodded I ten turned to Tom to check him over for shook and then the same for Amelia.

Sam then let out a cry for help "Iain no please go away" she muttered to herself.

"Sam, It's Jeff, I need you to stay calm. You have fainted and hit your head on the way down, This is our new trainee Iain Dean" I explained.

"Get him away from me, please Jeff" Sam said with tears in her eyes.

"Alright Kiddo, Dixie will be back soon then we can get you to the ED" I explained.

"I'm not going anywhere with him" Sam said simply.

"Babe, come on you need to go to the ED, we need to have you check over" Tom said going over and hugging her.

"He can't come in the ambulance with me, I'm sorry but I'm not going anywhere with him and I want him out of my house now" Sam said with anger in her voice.

Dixie came back in with the stretcher and we got Sam onto it.

"Look Samantha, I'm sorry I never meant to hurt you but don't you think I paid the price when you left and you said goodbye to the whole team but me, I didn't even know you had left let alone where you had gone, I missed you so much, ask anyone I was lost without you there. I loved you and I still do" Iain said and you could see the anger in Sam's eyes.

"Iain, mate walk back to the ED or call for back up, I really don't care what you do but that over stepped the line, This Sam and her partner house and 'that little girl' as you referred her as so happens to be their child so if I would you I would get out of here and think about what you said, you meant to be a professional" I told him and took the kit off of him and helped Dixie wheel Sam out and into the Ambulance.

(End of POV)

I can't believe Iain just turned up at my door… no what's worse is that Dad would even offer him the placement, I know he is with a paramedics and all but everything still needs to be run past dad first and he said yes? Why would he, he knew what his name was there was no need to give him anything.

"Aaaaarrr" I gasped in pain putting my hands straight to my stomach. Dixie was driving with Amelia up front in her car seat and Jeff and Tom where back here with me Jeff was busy monitoring everything but tom noticed me move my hands.

"Babe, is everything alright? The twins? Did you hit your stomach on the way down?" To was asking loads of questioned I didn't even know the answers to, all I know is that I was feeling really dizzy and then next think I woke up with Iain in my house.

"Tom, I don't know. I'm scared what if I have hurt them" I said crying, Tom had got up and had a hand on my stomach slowly massaging it to try and help Jeff had sorted out some pain relief.

"Is it your head that hurts?" Jeff questioned. I shook my head.

"No my stomach, it hurts so much, have you got a fast scanner in here?" I asked simply.

"No I haven't I'm sorry, but you know the drill slight scratch and all that" Jeff said injecting the morphine into me, we then arrived at the ED and Jeff had thrown the doors open and Tom ran over to Amelia and lifted her out of the front while Jeff and Dixie wheeled me into the ED and I could hear all the different voices and the lights they were bright and everything was blurry and then it all went black…


	89. Chapter 89

**_AN - I hope you enjoy this update, working a full day now all week so updates may not come as they used to but I will try my best. :)_**

"Sam what happened, you fainted twice today due to dehydration, you need to look after yourself not just for you sake but for the sake of the twins" Tom said after I had woken up.

"Tom, look I'm sorry I was just trying to make today perfect for you and I guess I just forgot to look after myself" I told him with tears in my eyes.

"When was the last time you eat or drank?" Tom asked.

"Yesterday lunch time" I said then turned away from him, I feel so guilty, it's not just me anymore, and it's the twins, Amelia and Tom I need to be here for all of them.

"Come on Sammy you know that isn't going to help you, I guess it must be scary for you having the twins but unless you look after yourself it will only get worse" Tom said stroking my hair gently as I had my head glued back together from the fall. "Can we have a scan just to make sure everything is fine?" Tom asks and Ash walks in.

"A Scan for what Tom?" He asks.

Tom looks at me and I nearly have tears in my eyes he needs to understand that I don't want anyone knowing.

"Nothing Ash, its fine" Tom said smiling and taking my hand.

"As long as you're sure need anything just ask" Ash smiled and was about to leave.

"Actually I was wondering if Tess is on shift?" I asked.

"She has just got here would you like me to get her" Ash asked.

"Yes please" I smiled and Ash nodded heading off.

"Why Tess?" Tom asks.

"She knows, she will do us a scan" I told him.

"Did she do the first one?" Tom asked.

"Yep, then she sent us up to maternity for a scan picture, by us I mean me and Lauren she and Tess are the only others that know, I had to have someone with me and I wasn't sure if you even wanted anymore children so I spoke to Lauren about it and she agreed to come on with me" I explained.

"Oh Sammy, no need to explain yourself to me, it must have been hard finding out, when did you realise?" Tom asked.

"A few weeks back, Laurens baby shower. That's when I had no dealt in my mind that I was pregnant, I mean I have had an idea for a while but that was when I decided I was going to have a scan, I'm about 11 weeks and our scan next week will be 12 weeks" I smiled.

"Really, 11 weeks already?" Tom said shocked.

"It's not normal for us to tell anyone until after 12 weeks so you should be feeling privileged" I told him with a cheeky grin.

"Sam, what's happened Ash said you wanted me on special request" Tess said running in.

"Hey, Tess. I'm sure everything is fine but I fainted twice and the first time I have no clue what happened but the second time I was already in the ED so loads of others saw. Amelia was downstairs the first time but I don't think she will even remember what happened so we were wondering if you would do a scan just to be on the safe side" I explained.

"You told him? That's great news I guess I can say it now… Congratulations! I will just go get the fast scanner" Tess said smiling and running off.

"You would think she was the pregnant one" Tom said as Tess ran off. I was still grinning from ear to ear and not even a minute later Tess was back I'm the cubicle with the fast scanner.

"Sam, you know the drill" Tess said getting everything ready and I just pulled up my top and took Tom's hand. What for like forever but in reality was only a few seconds before Tess had located the heartbeats one was slightly louder than the other but that was because Tess would always be closer to one then the other. I turned to look at Tom and his expression was one like a child who just woke on Christmas day realising that Santa had been.

"The baby beans, our baby beans say happy birthday Daddy" I told him. He lent down placed a hand on my stomach and kissed my forehead. Tess couldn't stop smiling.

"You two make the prefect parents for Amelia and with two more on the way your family will be complete" Tess said moving around to see if she could even out the heartbeats. Everything was so prefect in this room at this moment in time.

"Sammy, me and Amelia thought you might like..." Dad was stopped dead in his tracks when he noticed Tess holding the fast scanner to my stomach. Tess quickly turned it off and wiped the gel away

"Mummy" Amelia ran in and gave me a hug.

"Sam, Tom. I am so sorry" Tess said heading off.

"Tess it wasn't you fault and sooner or later I would of had to tell him anyway, Thank you, for everything Tess, I mean it." I told her smiling; she smiled back then left us to it.

"Sam, why didn't you tell me?" Dad asked placing some sandwiches on the side.

"Dad until this morning the only people who knew where Tess and Lauren. Tess did my first scan and I was too scared to tell anyone and too scared to go by myself so Lauren came with me. I'm not being funny or anything but I wasn't planning on saying until it was noticeable" I explained.

"But Samantha, I'm your father, I have a right to know, why weren't you going to tell me." Dad asked.

"Babe, I'm going to take Amelia off for a walk, give you too some time to talk" Tom said.

"Thanks Tom, love you both" I said as he walked off with Amelia.

"Why Samantha? Why where you going to hide it from me?" Dad asked again.

"Because I am scared Dad, there I admit it. I am scared of losing the Twins, scared that something might go wrong and I only get to meet one of my babies, Scared I might of lost Tom, Scared you would of hated me, told me I was too young and I'm also Scared of myself... I don't want to be sectioned again" I told him with tears in my eyes.

"Sammy, calm down. Nothing will happen to the Twins if you keep yourself fit and healthy, Tom would never leave you. I can tell by the way he looks at you. I cannot tell you, you are too young look at me and you mother she gave up everything to be Jacks mum and then just when she tried again you came along and she gave he dreams up once more, she wouldn't of changed it for the world though. Sam you have my support, Tom's, Jack's, Lauren's and everyone else in this ED they all love you and will help you and there is no chance you will get sectioned again." Dad said smiling and giving me a hug.

"But it's already started its how I ended up in here... I can't take in the idea of getting fat, why do you think I'm not eating, I don't mean to but it is just happening" I said crying.

"Oh Sammy, we are here and, big or Small, Small or big I will love you and So will Tom as we love what is on the inside, don't get me wrong you are beautiful but beauty isn't everything now is it, aint I right Tom" Dad says as he walks back in with Amelia.

"Right about what?" Tom asks clearly confused about what we are talking about.

"That same is a beautiful woman but your love for her is more than skin deep" Dad explained.

"Absolutely, why would you think otherwise?" Tom questioned.

"Sam is worrying about putting on weight, scared that once she gets to fat you will leave her" Dad said.

"I would never leave you and would never think rubbish like the anyway, I love you Samantha Nicholls" Tom said coming over and giving me a kiss.

I had sat up so Amelia could sit on the end of the bed. Dad had to go off as he was needed in theatre. I had pulled Amelia up to me so she was sat with her back to me so I was playing with her hair and Tom had taken her place at the end of my bed, Ash told me I had to wait until all of the saline was gone and then half an hour of obs.

"Mummy, when can daddy have his presents" Amelia asked as I was playing with her hair.

"Once I'm out of here we are going to head off home get changed and take Daddy out for lunch and maybe you can take some of his presents for him?" I told her. She nodded.

"Just how many presents have you two got me?" Tom asked taking hold of one of my hands.

"Lots but Mummy's ones are small" Amelia said giggling which made both me and Tom laugh as well.

"Sam, can I talk to you" Iain asked walking into the cubicle. Which put a stop to all the laughing and smiling, Tom had got off the bed and went over to Iain.

"Tom please don't do anything to him, he isn't worth it" I begged him and Tom nodded walking back over to me.

"Iain there is nothing to talk about, I have moved on and have the perfect family; Tom the best partner anyone could ever want you know he has never laid a hand on me, never raised his voice and definitely doesn't force me to do anything I don't want unlike you, you were always shouting and raging at me and every night you would force yourself upon me which was wrong Iain, so wrong and I have Amelia as well now look at her, the most beautiful, polite little girl ever to walk the earth and she is mine, my little Angel" I told him holding Amelia.

"Sam I had to raise my voice you were in my troop I shouted at all of you in the troop nothing more nothing less it wasn't aimed at you personally and you loved it Sam you where the one that begged me that first night" Iain claimed.

"But Iain it was after, when we were off duty you used me for everything treated me like a slave and then took advantage of me every night and you know what I couldn't take any more which is why I left and never told you as I knew you would follow and look here you are" I told him starting to get angry.

"Iain, take a hint. Sam doesn't want you here, jog on" Tom said.

"Well, Tom. I am Sam's lover she was full of it always wanting more well that was only after she begged me for Sex what was that 4? Years ago maybe and by looking at Amelia I would say she is what 4? So that wouldn't be possible that she is Tom's daughter now would it? It would make her mine… I am here after I got told to leave I lost my nerve Sam got the troop killed and so I found a hospital willing to take me on and so this one did I must say Mr Jordan was very impressed and sympathized with me after all he mentioned how both his children where in the army and how his daughter also came back after it mentally became too much for her so he was more than willing to help me out" Iain explained.

"Well Iain" I said blocking Amelia's ears "that isn't true considering Amelia is Tom's child I have just adopted her and I don't care how willing he was I am going to talk to him and with the help of Jeff and Dixie I believe I can get him to drop you and trust me on that one he wouldn't dare not listen to me" I told Iain while grinning.

Just at that point he Dad came back in.

"Papa" Amelia smiled jumping up and giving Dad a hug.

"Hey Millie, I just spoke to the paramedics and they said you were the one who phoned up the ambulance for Mummy what a brave girl you are and I know it's Daddy's birthday but I have got you a little present" Dad explained. "Sammy I see you have met Iain he's ex-army to you know"

"Yes well done Daddy but this isn't going to work you see it is either me or him, I cannot work with him I'm sorry but did you not realise who he was" I said and at the point Iain's face dropped like a bomb shell.

"Oh Sammy I am so sorry I should of realized but don't worry I was coming to find Iain anyway, the paramedics don't think you are cut out for working here, we have organized to have a meeting with Dixie at the end of the day, Sorry Iain I will see you in my office at 5 but you should head back to the ambulance bay" Dad explained.

"Of course sorry Mr Jordan I will go speak with Dixie now, good bye Sam" Iain said walking off.

"Can I go home yet Daddy?" I asked.

"Let me go find Ash" he smiled and walked off.

Ash had come back and sent us off home where we had to quickly get changed and head to the restaurant to be greeted by other members of both our families.


	90. Chapter 90

**_AN - I know it has been a while but the company we get our internet from decided they where going to cut us off for no reason and it took them forever to connect us but here it is another Chapter and a long one - I will update another one tonight as well! - Enjoy :D_**

"Tom" I shouted. After getting out of the shower and getting dressed, I had got myself a new outfit to wear. It is not a suit and tie event just a relaxed casual family lunch. I brought my self a pale pink knitted jumper with sequins on and so vintage wash skinny jeans. I paired them up with some long brown leather boots, I have decided to use a knitted fox bag and to wear a grey and pale pink scarf as well.

"Yes Babe?" Tom replied.

"I'm out of the shower, if you want one and can you send Millie up please" I called and before Tom had even replied I could hear Millie coming up the stairs.

"Mummy I want to have my hair in plaits" Amelia said as she came into mine and Tom's room.

"Sure thing baby girl lets go get you ready" I smiled and she went skipping into her room.

"Awww look at you Sammy" Tom said when he came upstairs and saw me. I rolled my eyes and went off to Amelia's room.

I got Amelia dressed in a red knit jumper with a reindeer on with a pair of denim shorts over some cream cable knit tights.

"Mummy where are we going for lunch?" Amelia asked while I was fish plaiting her hair.

"Pizza Express, I figured everyone loved a pizza" I told her and she started giggling. Both me and Amelia went downstairs and rounded up some of Tom's present's and put them into a gift bag and checking the time, it was 11:45 we are meeting everyone at 12 and it looks like we are going to be late, while waiting for Tom I left Amelia inside watching TV while I went and put my boots on and took everything we needed out into the car and started it up so that the heating was warm by the time we got in as it was freezing today but I suppose it is November. I walked back to the bottom of the stairs and shouted Tom.

"Babe you ready, yet we need to go or we will be late for our reservation"

"Yer just give me two seconds" He shouted back.

"Millie, turn the TV off please and come here and put you shoes and coat on" I asked her and she came skipping over just like she always does, I put her in some navy and brown quilted converse style boots and then got down her navy coat which has a faux fur trim on the hood. Just as I was finishing buttoning up Amelia jacket Tom came down stairs in blue mock shirt with a navy crew neck jumper with some brown Scandinavian print on the upper part and a pair of dark washed jeans. While Tom was putting on his brown combat style boots I put on my khaki military jacket and made sure I had everything we needed including the Camera as there is going to be some great opportunities for photos as Tom doesn't realise this but I have got his brother and his family to come down as well.

"Tom, I'm driving" I told him taking Amelia's hand and walking out to the car while Tom put on his grey winter parker.

I strapped Amelia into her car seat and then went and climbed into the driver's seat , Tom had locked up the house and come over and climbed into the passenger seat and we set off towards pizza express. We had the radio on and they were doing some interview but it was so boring I just switched off to it and carried on driving and before I knew it we were at pizza express… only 15 minutes late.

"So this is your idea of a birthday meal is it? I was expecting a big restaurant where I could order stake" Tom said rolling his eyes.

"Just shut up and get of the car" I told him going over and taking Amelia out of her seat and taking her hand. Tom picked her up and took my hand and led us into the restaurant.

"Happy Birthday" Everyone cheered when they noticed Tom.

"Sam I thought it was just a simple meal with you and Amelia?" Tom said looking shocked.

"Am I not allowed to have surprises up my sleeve" I asked, I noticed Tom's niece's playing over in the kids' corner. "Millie, see those two girls over there, Go and play with them while we wait for our food" I told her and Tom placed her down and she ran off.

"Alright Tommy, long time no see" Daniel said walking over and the look on Tom's face he looked like he had seen a ghost.

"Dan, what are you doing here?" Tom asked shocked.

"It's nice to see you too" Daniel said laughing "And you lovely partner phoned me and asked if I wanted to come down"

"Sam you did that for me? you have only given me 2 presents but by far are they the best presents ever" Tom said smiling and giving me a kiss then going to sit down with Daniel, they were chatting away like no tomorrow when the waiter came over we order 3 large pizza's to share between us, one cheese and tomato, one ham and pineapple and one meat feast. Everyone order there drinks and I started to chat with Sophie, Daniel's wife.

"I didn't realise they would be so happy" Sophie laughed.

"Nor did I, Tom must think I'm a right cheapskate I haven't even given him anything yet" I told Sophie.

"But he said you had given him the best to present ever? So how does that work" Sophie asked.

"Well I wouldn't really call what I gave him present's all I did was phone you lot up and ask you to come down here and the other one he gave himself really as he planted the seed" I said.

"Your pregnant?" Sophie asked and nodded.

"Congrats, how has Amelia taken the news she must be thrilled and how does it feel knowing there's going to be another little one running about, I found it really hard adjusting to the routine again after Emily was born, there's only a year in between Emily and Rebecca" Sophie said.

"I wouldn't know, Amelia isn't mine" I explained.

"That's right Tom did tell us that her mum did a runner after she was born, you were just so natural with her I forgot" Sophie said and I smiled the waiter came over and placed the drinks down I excused myself and went over to the girls and told there was some fizzy drinks on the table for them and then went out to the car to get the bag of presents as I ad forgot to bring them in before.

"Tom" I said tapping him on the shoulder.

"Yes Babe?" He replied turning to me.

"I want to give you these, I feel terrible as I haven't even given you anything yet" I told him taking a seat on his lap, the girls where all sat at the table too so that was one less thing to do. "Also I want to tell everyone here, I know its only family but I want them to know"

"But you're not even 12 weeks are you sure?" Tom asked and I nodded.

"I will be next week and when is this going to happen again? All of our family around one table… not for a long time, I have put the scan picture in the bag I want you to take it out and surprise everyone" I told him giving him a kiss and moving to the chair next to him and Amelia was sat on the other side of me next to Jack.

"It seems to be present time, Amelia come over here and help daddy out will you" He asked and she jumped down and ran over to him. "Cards first" he reminded her, it was the rule in our house, you always opened the cards first so Amelia pulled out all the cards in the bag there was 3. Tom knew witch one was the scan photo and waited until last, he first opened the one from Amelia which we had got personalized it read Happy Birthday Daddy, From your little Princess. And it had a picture of Amelia dressed up as a princess on it pulling out her tongue. I got him one with was designed like the newspaper front cover and the main headline read Thomas Kent 30 Today! And it had a picture of him on it. He then pulled out the Scan picture one a pulled surprised face.

"Sam, you're pregnant? With twins?" He asked loud enough so the whole table could hear and I just nodded my head and everyone started to shout congratulations at us. Which we both just smiled and thanked everyone.

"Does that mean I'm going to be a big sister?" Amelia asked.

"Yes it does" Tom said and she looked fit to burst.

After a while of talking about the pregnancy and passing the scan picture around the table the waiter came over with our food and placed the 3 pizza's in the middle of the table and everyone just dived in a started to eat everything and we were chatting among ourselves in little groups. Once everyone had given up eating Tom pushed his plate to the side and started to pull out some of our presents, there were 4 from me and Amelia. He took the biggest first and started to unwrap it, it was 2 pairs of jeans, and he smiled then placed them on top of the wrapping paper on the table. Next he pulled out one from Amelia and started to unwrap it, it was the back to the future Lego set I saw him looking at and he chuckled.

"You're going to be up all night making that aren't you bro" Daniel laughed.

"Not with Sam in charge, strict bedtime, in bed by 10:30 in our house" Tom joked.

"Yer alright, but it's only so we can get up in time for work" I smiled and then rested my head on his shoulder giving him a kiss.

Tom then moved went back into the bag and pulled out the next present and unwrapped it, it was a set of skin tight boxers.

"Sam really?" Tom Laughed.

"It's got nothing to do with me yours all have holes in them" I replied and he just rolled his eyes and went into the bag for the last one, I had got a small gift box and wrote a note and placed the key and the note inside of the box. Tom picked it up and unwrapped it opening up the box and pulling the note out.

"Read it out then" Jack shouted and I just shook my head but Tom proceeded and read it out.

"Everywhere you turn there will be people telling you not to move in with your partner until you are married but do these people ever think about the children?

We have Amelia and in 6 months we will have two more, is it not time we moved in to a bigger place and settled down? I know it's a lot to ask for and I know it is completely different to what you are used to but do you remember that house on the dock I told you about? Well here is the key, It isn't much of a present I know but I want somewhere we can call home, some where we all feel safe and most of all I want to be able to live in a big family home where we can create many happy memory's not just for Amelia but for our little Baby Bean's. Somewhere we can invite everyone around and just have a good old get together, may it be family or friends or maybe even both together, I want us to be able to enjoy our time together and do it in style.

I love you so much Thomas Kent and just for your information the bed isn't squeaky.

So what do you say?" Tom read it out and while everyone else laughed at the last part I went bright read, when I wrote it I didn't expect him to read it out in front of everyone.

"Well Samantha, It would be my pleasure" Tom said pulling my head up and leaning in for a kiss witch turned very passionate very quickly.

"Oi Lover boy" Daniel shouted. "The girls got you a little something. Witch caused tom to pull back but I wasn't finished yet so I leaned in for another quick kiss.

"Are they always like this?" Sophie asked.

"All the time you can't take them anywhere as they can't keep their hands off each other for 5 minutes, not even at work" Zoe says and I just roll my eyes at her and Sophie giggles.

"Here Tom, me and the Girls have missed having you around and your childish ways" Sophie said passing over a gift bag, he pulled out the card first and was about to read it when the waiter came over with the cake for dessert. Alice had made the cake this time, She had made it look like a bucket with ice in and then had placed 3 bottles of beer on the top. She decorated the cake board with a packet of walker's chips and bottle open both made out of sugar paste she had also rolled out a bit of sugar paste and stamped 30 into it, this is where they put his candle.

"Happy Birthday, to you happy birthday to you, happy birthday dear Tom/Daddy, Happy birthday to you! Hip hip, hooray" we all cheered as Tom blew out his candles.

"What did you wish for?" I asked leaning over and giving him a peck on the cheek.

"Now if I told you that it won't come true will it" He replied taking my hand and holding it to my stomach and smiling, I have a strange feeling I know what he wished for. He then re picked up the card from Sophie and the girls and opened it, It was a simple happy 30th birthday card that was covered in glitter and if there is one thing I can't stand its glitter it just greats everywhere and really does my head in. He then looked in the bag and pulled out a bottle of wine.

"Drinks on us Uncle Tom!" Sophie joked.

"We have missed you Uncle Tom, when are you coming back to London?" Rebecca asked.

"Becca, sorry darling but I don't think I am, anytime soon you know I have a busy Job and now I have Sam and the babies to look after as well as Amelia even though I'm sure she would be happy to come to London" Tom told them.

"But Uncle Tom, you promised us you would come and live up in London" Emily said.

"Em, please that was before I got my job at the hospital, before Amelia came along and before I even knew Sam, it was a good 8 years ago girls you were only little then how can you remember" Tom said to them.

"We just do, okay but we miss you" Rebecca whined.

"Look Girls, Uncle Tom's busy now and a lot has changed in 8 years, he is no longer at Uni or needing a place to stay maybe now your dad isn't so busy at work we can come down and visit Tom more often" Sophie told them and they stopped there whining after all they are 11 and 12 years old now.

"Daddy I'm tired" Amelia decided it was her time to start whining.

"Millie come here and have a cuddle, Mummy is tired too but you need to keep me awake, I need to drive you home." I told her and she came over, we spent another good 30 minutes after that at Pizza express with Tom opening his cards and everyone finishing off their slice of cake so in total we had spent a good 2 and a half hours if not more in the restaurant.

"Right guys, I think its best we get going, thank you everyone for everything and this amazing company" Tom said smiling, everyone slowly got up and got the coats on and picked up their bags if they had one Tom was bust talking to Daniel and having some pictures with the girls and what not so I went over to talk to Jack I was still holding Amelia s she had fallen asleep on me.

"Gosh Sam you look dreadful, here let me take Amelia off of you" Jack said and took her.

"Thanks Jack, I can always count on you to make me feel better" I told him sarcastically.

"Well Sam, I'm sorry but you are as pale as anything and you have the world's biggest bags under your eyes" Jack replied.

"Is it really that noticeable" I asked rolling my eyes.

"Yes it is Sammy, Care to explain why you are looking so drained" Dad butted.

"It made of escaped your notice but I'm pregnant… with Twins" I told them and walked off to get Tom.

"Tom can we please go home I really need to sit down, and I don't think I'm in any state to drive but you can't as you have been drinking so the sooner we leave the better" I asked.

"Sammy, what's up you look really drained" Tom asked when he turned around.

"I don't know okay I'm tired, fed up, hormonal and I want to go to bed" I claimed.

"Alright, come on. Girls I'll take you out tomorrow, my treat but it will have to be early as we are on the night shift tomorrow" Tom said.

"Look Tom, you and Sam both are in no state to drive, why don't I drive you lot home in your car then I can walk up to mum's after" Daniel offered.

"Would you, That would be great but what about the Girls and Sophie" Tom asked.

"We have a car, Sophie can drive. I'm sure she can manage to find her way" Daniel replied.

"Fair point" Tom replied, we then walked over to say our goodbyes and Tom took Amelia off of Jack and making sure we had everything we thanked the staff for being so kind as to having us lot there all afternoon and then we headed off out to the car, Tom carefully strapped Amelia in to her seat and then went to climb in to the passenger seat.

"Tom sit back here with me would you, I don't mind being squished in the middle" I told him, to be honest I just wanted to snuggle up to him and fall asleep.


	91. Chapter 91

_**AN - I promised you a second update so here it is - Enjoy :)**_

Tom must already be up, I thought to myself as I rolled out of bed it was 9:30am so I haven't a clue why he is up. I pick up one of is hoodies and put It on before heading off downstairs… or as I like to call it Antarctica.

I check Amelia's room and she is already up but she is busy playing with her doll's house so I just leave her too it and make my way down stairs.

"No,no,no Dan, I won't take that you said yourself not even 5 minutes ago that you would move back to Holby if you had somewhere to stay and what have I just offered you?" Tom questioned while on the phone. Once he noticed me he smiled and I walked off into the kitchen where I boiled the kettle, unsure on whether Tom wanted one I went back to the other room and held a cup up and Tom nodded then continued arguing on the phone.

Once I had made the Coffee's I moved on to raiding the kitchen cupboards, I really want some marmite, it's so strange as I hate the stuff but I know Tom and Amelia love it but I really want marmite and Philadelphia sandwich… could anything sound more disgusting but that is just pregnancy cravings for you. I noticed the marmite but it was all the way at the top of the cupboard and I just can't reach that high which isn't fair so I got one of the chairs from the breakfast bar to stand on which is such a stupid idea as they are rotating chairs but I don't care I want that marmite.

"Sam, what are you doing?" Tom asks walking into the kitchen.

"Getting out the marmite" I simply told him and he gave me a stupid look.

"Next time ask me, don't go standing on these chairs" He said coming over and taking me by the waist picking me up and placing me on the floor. "Why do you want it anyway? You hate the stuff"

"I … umm, I want some with some Philliy Cheese in a sandwich" I told him simply as there wasn't any point lying to him.

"Pregnancy Cravings, I know they were strange but that just isn't right" Tom said giving me a kiss.

"Each to their own Kent" I told him and went about making the sandwich, Tom just laughed and called Amelia. And not long after she appeared in the kitchen.

"What would you like for breakfast?" Tom asked. "I'm going to have some marmite on toast I thing" he added.

"Can I have some too" Amelia nearly shouted, they both love it but after I came around I banned them from having it as it stank the house out but now I'm eating it I can't really stop them.

After breakfast Amelia had gone off to play in the living room and I was busy doing to washing up as there wasn't much point using the dishwasher for a knife and 3 plates.

"Sam, are you on shift tomorrow?" Tom asked.

"No, why?" I replied.

"I thinking we can start to move what we need to the lodge" Tom said and then came and snaked his arms around my waist.

"Sounds like a plan, as Amelia is back at nursery tomorrow" I said leaning back into him.

"What do we actually need to take with us? Maybe we should write a list" Tom asked and I agree to we picked up a note pad and a pen, we wrote Tom's name at the top of the first page and started to list things that Tom needed to take. Clothes, Shoes, Books, DVD's, Photo's, Ornaments, Games, Game Console's, C'Ds and just everything that isn't furniture as there is no need to take any with us.

"Sam, I was thinking about selling this house to my brother" Tom mentioned.

"That's a great idea Tom, but does he want it?" I asked.

"Well yesterday on the way back he was talking about how he could do with moving back down here as its getting near enough impossible to live in London but he is more worried about his job as he is a lawyer and there isn't much call of that down here but hopefully he can get one, Sophie does admin work so there will always be a place for her anywhere really and the Girls, well they are going to high school anyway so why not just move them to one down here?" Tom explained.

"Oh Tom, do you know what I love about you?" I asked him.

"My amazing looks?" Tom said grinning.

"Don't flatter yourself, it's you general ability to organize everything while still taking everyone's needs into account" I said and the snuggled up to him.

"It's how mum brought us up, to always worry about everyone else first now Sam answer me this if you were a 12 year old where would you want to go and see at the cinema" Tom questioned.

"I don't even know what is screening right now" I said.

"Right well the girls are going to be here in about 10 minutes and I was planning on taking them to the cinema" To explained.

"Tom instead of trying to guess, just ask them once they get here" I told him.

"Good plan" He smiled and then lent down and started to kiss me, it was all very passionate, I had one hand playing with his hair and one of my hands resting on his which was on my stomach and Tom's other had was holding my head, we had been like this a while before I pulled back for air,

"I Love you Dr Nicholls" Tom whispered and then pulled me back in for another kiss…

"Ewww Uncle Tom" The girls shouted as they walked in with Sophie in toe, which caused us to break apart.

"What doesn't your mum and dad kiss around you" Tom joked.

"No we try not to actually, but then again once you have been married, 13 years you don't feel the need to kiss each other every moment of everyday oh by the way Amelia let us in" Sophie explained.

"Oh just because Daniel doesn't show you he loves you often enough doesn't mean you have to be jealous" Tom said laughing.

"Well let's just say at least we don't do anything in front of our kids" Sophie said coming over and sitting on the sofa.

"Uncle Tom, Where are you taking us?" Emily asked.

"To the cinema, and they whatever you girls want to do as long as it doesn't cost the earth" Tom told them.

"Tom want time you dropping them off?" Sophie asked.

"Around 6ish back at Mum's, did she tell you she was having Amelia tonight?" I asked.

"What, no, why?" Sophie asked.

"Me and Sam are both on the night shift today, it's a busy time at the ED the amount of people who come in burnt" Tom told her and Sophie raised her eye brows,

"Amelia isn't scared of fireworks, don't worry" Tom said laughing and standing up.

"Right girls let's get going" To said picking up his phone, keys and wallet off the table.

"Bye Mum" The girls said at the same time.

"Bye, be good for Tom" Sophie told them.

"Bye Sammy, Love you" Tom said giving me a peck on the cheek.

"Love you too, don't know about the girls behaving you need to, you are in charge, remember that Tom" I said laughing.

"Amelia" Tom called up the stairs, and she then appeared at the bottom.

"Daddy's going out, Mummy in in the living room with Auntie Sophie" He told her.

"Okay, Bye Daddy" Amelia smiled and then came running off in here.

"Bye Amelia" We heard Tom call though and then the door slam.

"Mummy, can we go in the garden?" Amelia asked.

"If you want to but you need to put your coat on, it's cold out there Baby girl" I told her and she ran off.

"You don't mind sitting in the garden do you?" I asked Sophie and she shook her head.

"You can borrow my jacket" I smiled at her and then went and put on my combat boots, and gave Sophie my coat.

"I must look a right state, in my baggy gingham pyjama bottoms and Tom's hoodie. We then went out and sat in the garden while Amelia was mucking about playing on the trampoline.

"So how far gone are you?" Sophie asked.

"11 weeks, and I'm finding it hard already" I told her.

"That's because there's nothing to you Sam, you are just skin and bones." Sophie said.

"Well that's not true is it; I have muscles, blood…." I was listing everything when Sophie butted in.

"That is not want I meant and you know it." Sophie said laughing.

"I know, want a coffee?" I asked her and she nodded.

"Sugar?" I asked walking off inside.

"Milk no sugar" Sophie replied.

I made the coffees then took them outside.

"You know, what tom said. Maybe I am jealous of you two, you are so perfect together even with Amelia you can still just show each other your love, ever since Emily was born Daniel will barely hug me" Sophie admitted.

"Really?" I questioned.

"Yes well other than when we are in bed, we will snuggled up to each other and kiss and what not but he won't do it in front of anyone and can't even remember the last time we had sex" Sophie told me.

"It isn't all about sex, and maybe Daniel is just not one for shows of public affection, I bed if you went back there right now and just gave him a hug and started to kiss him I'm sure he would follow suit, he loves you, that's fact" I said.

"Well that's easy for you to say, you must have Sex near enough everyday with Tom" Sophie shrugged her shoulders.

"No chance, we haven't had it for 11 weeks, and in fact I'm sure I have only done it was Tom about 6 time's if that and yet I've been with him 9 nearly 10 months. It took me 6 months before I even did anything with Tom in that department" I admitted to her.

"Really? I thought Tom would be the kind of guy to have it off with you the first night you met" Sophie added.

"Not a chance considering the first night we met, I was completely out of it and he had to rush off to the ED for Amelia" I explained.

"I see, why did it take you so long before you went to bed with him?" Sophie asked.

"Well because when I first got it off with Tom I was still married and one drunken kiss led to another and then all the way into a relationship but I was married but separated so it didn't feel right going off and having sex with Tom while I was still technically married under the eyes of the law" I explained.

"Wow, really? Have you ever had any other jobs than this one? As you have only been doing it for 9 months or so" Sophie asked. "I have worked for like 5 different company's and each one is as boring as each other" She added.

"I have only ever had 2 jobs, I have spent most of my life in school/college I have only worked for nearly 5 years of my life, and my first job was in the army for 4 of them, I was an army medic and then as soon as I came back to Holby I got my job at the ED which wasn't really hard as my Dad's the boss and well that's when I met Tom, When did you meet Daniel" I asked.

"While we were at school, i got together with Daniel when we were 16 he was later offered a space in a top business school up in London so I moved up there with him, we married at 20 and had Emily 2 years later and then Rebecca a year after Emily" Sophie explained.

"Mummy, can we go with Auntie Sophie to get some hot chocolate?" Amelia asked running over.

"Well it's up to Auntie Sophie, she might have plans" I told her.

"Me, plans you having a laugh, come Amelia lets go wait in the front room while Sam goes and gets dressed" Sophie said talking Amelia's hand and we headed inside.

I went and put on a grey oversized baggy jumper and some pink and grey Scandinavian print Leggings. I also pulled out a pale pink scarf and I will wear my pale pink Ugg boots.

I ran off down stairs and into the living room "Come on you two before I change my mind"

Amelia jumped up followed by Sophie and we all headed off out for a walk in the park and then to the café where I phoned Tom to come and meet us once he was finished at the cinema.


	92. Chapter 92

_**AN - Not very long this one, but its quite a lot to read, wasn't impressed with last nights episode, no Sam or Tom :( anyway enjoy this chapter :) **_

"Sophie" I said simply while we were watching Amelia play at the park.

"Yes Sam?" She replied.

"How did you cope during both your pregnancy's, I mean like I'm only 11 weeks and struggling yet my best friend is 7 months and she has been running a nursery throughout her hole pregnancy and here I am, I don't even want to go to work later and that just isn't me you ask anyone and I would be there straight away" I explained.

"Well with Emily I was struggling at first but that was just with coming to terms about being pregnant once I was around 3 and half months I was fine all the way up until 8 months when I had to go on leave but with Rebecca I was alright from start to finish but then again I had already been pregnant so I knew what to expect and everyone different Sam just because your friend could run a nursery doesn't mean you should be able to for a start you don't even work with children, you work in a hospital two very different environments, just take this one step at a time and talk to us, me, Tom , your dad and one we are all here to help you" Sophie said with a smile.

"It doesn't matter if I worked in KFC for example I just don't feel as if I can do it, I can't work alongside people right now all I want is Tom and I just want it to be me and him, for a start I can't even tell if he really wants the twins he has hardly spoken to me since I told his yesterday and how could I be so stupid as to get pregnant I am normally so careful, don't get me wrong I want my own Children but is now really the right time" I asked.

"Sam why even bring up KFC from what I could guess you have probably never set foot in one" Sophie added causing us both to laugh. "Tom, he works in the ED too so he will always be there for you to talk to and that is all you need to do you need to sit down and talk to him explain what you are worried about and it will come out not in his words but from his eyes whether he wants these twins or not and from what I know about Tom he is defiantly going to want them, what does Tom love doing the most? Acting like a big kid so what better way is there for Tom to keep in inner child then to have more little ones running about. I never planned to get pregnant, I didn't even want kids when I found out I was pregnant with Emily but after she was born I soon changed my mind after that first cuddle" Sophie added.

"I guess you're right, I mean I haven't even spoken to him. I was in the ED yesterday morning down to dehydration and instead of talking to Tom I wanted my Dad. Tom is the most amazing guy I have ever been or ever want to be with he loves me for me including my shitty past but he didn't care, he didn't even care when I told him I was married, he didn't care when I told him I had an affair but most of all he showed so much understanding after I told him I was sectioned under mental health as a teen, he helped so much you know he talks me out of doing stupid things he tries to always force me to eat something as well, I love him, I really do but everything right now scares me, how didn't he notice that I was pregnant, I live with him a doctor but yet he could not tell, does he even pay any attention to me" I said as a tear fell down my cheek.

"Don't ever say that again Samantha because if there's one thing I know it is that Tom worships the ground you walk on, he has phoned up Daniel at the weekend in a right state worrying about you but there isn't much we can do from London, Tom may not show it but he truly cares and he wants to do everything in his power to show the world, he is so worried about losing you, you wouldn't believe it, a few weekends ago he phoned up in tears down to the fact that he could hardly say a word to you without you going off in a strop, he was so worried that he had done something to upset you he went through everything he may of done to try and find out what it could have been but nothing he came up with gave him any hope. He thought he was going to lose you and he couldn't bear to think about it, I haven't seen him as happy as he is with you in a very long time, he has been with others since Amy but he never ever got his old spark back until you came along and I know Daniel wants to thank you for putting the fire back into his heart" Sophie explained.

"I never knew, why didn't he tell me, I have only once seen him cry and that was the day I woke up after the accident. If he really loved me surely he would tell me when he was upset, talk to me about things. I don't understand why he doesn't, am I really that hard to talk to" I questioned.

"He doesn't want to upset, you he feels you have more than enough worries of your own to deal with, without having his as well but Sam he says the same thing. Why doesn't she talk to me? you two are amazing together, prefect and everyone can see it from a mile off but after the door has been closed none of knows what goes on and from the sound of it, it isn't talking, tonight at the ED in the staffroom or where even when there is no one around talk to him, tell him how you feel and he will talk to you. I know what your problem is you don't argue you are both too scared to upset each other but arguing makes you want each other more" Sophie explained as Amelia came running over.

"Mummy, it hurts" Amelia said in between tears.

"What does baby girl?" I asked rubbing her arm.

"My knee, I fall over" She told me pointing to a very red knee.

"It's just a graze, don't worry. I will clean it up and kiss it better and then I think we should go to the Café before it rains" I told her. She nodded.

"Sophie about before, thank you" I told her and we walked to the café where I would use their first aid box, I'm sure they will let me as me and Tom are always in here on our breaks at work as the coffee you get from the canteen is like dirty dishwater.

"Hey Jesse, you wouldn't mind letting me use your first aid kit would you" I asked him.

"Sure thing Sam, what's happened" He replied while rummaging around to find it.

"Been at the park with Amelia and she has fallen over and grazed her knee, I just want to check if there is any grit in it"

"Here, use whatever you need" Jesse said handing me the first aid kit as I knelt down in front of Amelia my phone started to ring.

"Sophie, do you mind, it's Tom" I asked her passing over the phone. While she was busy talking to Tom I got down to cleaning up Amelia's knee once it was clean and I could see the wound I could tell there wasn't anything in it so I put a plaster on.

"Right all done" I told Amelia jumping up.

"Thank you Mummy, can we get a hot chocolate now?" She asked.

"Daddy's on the way with the girls he said he will be 5 minutes, think you can wait that long Amelia?" Sophie asked handing me back my phone.

"Okay, can we sit on the comfy chairs over there" She asked, I nodded and that was it she was off.

"Slow down Millie before you run into someone" I told her handing the Kit back to Jesse, "Thanks for letting me use it, once Tom gets here we will order some drinks" I told Jesse he nodded and placed the kit away.

"Daddy" Amelia shouted when he walked through the door.

"Hey Mil's, did Mummy do a good job patching you up" he asked and she nodded. The girls had come over and sat down and where busy talking to Sophie about the film so I went over to help Tom carry the drinks back.

"Hey, need any help?" I asked him.

"I should be fine thanks, Jesse 6 hot chocolates with marshmallows and cream" He asked.

"Sure thing, I didn't know that you had a daughter you two, you are always in here alone" Jesse added while making the drinks.

"That's because we normally come from work, but we bring Amelia a lot at the weekend" I explained.

"Yer I don't normally work at the weekends, just pulling a double shift as someone's off ill" He said while placing the cups of freshly made hot chocolate on to a tray, Tom got out his wallet and paid he then picked up the tray and carried it over to the table leaving his Phone, keys and wallet on the top so I picked them up and walked over before taking a seat.

"So did you girls have fun today, with Tom? It was meant to my day with him" I asked the girls and we spent a good 45 minutes in the café talking about the film and what not with the girls.


	93. Chapter 93

_**AN - Sorry for any mistakes but I wrote this during my lunch break at work but I have only just got on to a computer to be able to publish it. **_

"Sam, are you alright you haven't said a word since Sophie and the girls went" Tom asked as well pulled up outside the ED.

"I'm fine, just a bit nervous" I told him throwing him a fake smile.

"You have had more than 2 weeks off and come back to work so what's different now?" Tom questioned.

"Well Dr Kent, it may have slipped your mind but I have currently carrying your children and yes I know I have been for a while but that isn't the point" I said climbing out of the car and running off in to the ED.

"Hey Sam, nice to see you, is Tom on shift tonight as well? Noel asked but I just ignored him and ran off.

"What's got her knickers in a twist" I heard Noel ask Big Mac. I headed off into the staff room and got changed into my scrubs and was about to get to work when Tom came storming in.

"Sam, that's not what I meant and you know it, I want these babies more than anything in the world, how could I forget" he claimed.

"Then prove it, because I don't want to hang around in a dead end relationship where as soon as I pop you have run a mile" I said turning around and slamming my locker a little harder than expected.

"How am I meant to prove it to you, is that fact that I'm the one who cares for Amelia after her mother ran escaped your mind, you know what Sam right now you and for the past few weeks have reminded me of Amy so much" Tom shouted the last bit, before I had even realised I was out in cubicles asking fletch for my next case, it was a young lad you has burns to his hands after trying to put a firework in a neighbour's letter box. Great I so picked the right night to come back.

"Right Carl, I am going to access your hands and then see what the best course of action is" I told him as I flung the curtain open.

"No offense love but I'm only 19 yet I look older then you, I would rather an experienced doctor had a look" Carl said

"Well Carl I so happen to be an ex-army doc, so in all my eyes of experience I have seen burns ten times worse than this and this is an ED and you may not be aware but you can't not pick and choose your doctor for a start if you hadn't of been a prat a tried to set your neighbour's house alight you wouldn't be in here" I explained.

"Did you just call me a prat?" Carl shouted loud enough for the whole ED to hear, great because I'm keeping my job now.

"Dr Nicholls is there a problem?" Tom asked walking over.

"No Dr Kent there isn't so if you don't mind I would like to carry on treating my patient and would it be wrong to assume you have one to be treating" I said and Tom just gave me a stupid look and then turned around about to walk off

"Actually mate there is, your colleague called me a prat, any chance I can swap Doctors" Carl added.

"Sure thing, I would be happy to take over your care if Dr Nicholls agrees" Tom explained.

"Go for it Tom, it's not like you don't judge my ability to actually care for someone anyway" I said storming off. I didn't know where I was going and I didn't really care but somehow my feet had led me up to the roof, god it was freezing up here and only being in scrubs didn't help.

"Hey little ones, sorry you heard my shouting, I didn't mean to" I said putting my hands on my stomach and melting to the floor in tears.

"It's just that I don't know if Daddy cares anymore, everything was fine until you two came along. Don't get me wrong I love you both but I don't understand what's gone wrong, I miss your Daddy" I said in tears and rubbing my stomach.

(Tom's POV)

"Ash, Fletch have either of you seen Sam" I asked.

"Not since around 8 ish" Fletch said while Ash shook his head.

"Thanks guys" I said walking off over to reception.

"Noel, you seen Sam" I asked the same question again.

"Not since she came in for her shift sorry mate" Noel replied.

Well done, Tom way to say the wrong thing, over and over and over again.

"Ahhh Tom just the man I was looking for" Nick said walking over to me.

"And what can I do for you Mr Jordan" I asked.

"Well I would like to have a word with you and Sam, you haven't seen her have you, it's just she seems to have disappear and isn't replying to calls or her pager" Nick explained.

"Right, well if I see her I will let you know" I told him walking off.

"If you see her? You two are joined at the hip, where is she?" Nick questioned.

"Well Nick if you want to know the truth, I don't know I shouted at her before our shift started and around half an hour ago I had to take over the care of her patient after she said something which was out of hand" I explained.

"Shouted at her, what about and what did she say" Nick questioned.

"About our relationship, well the pregnancy. And she called her patient a prat" I told him.

"Tom why where you fighting, she wants these twins more than anything and I can tell do you know how, she told everyone yesterday and she isn't one for letting people in and if she had any plan's to abort she would not of told anyone, not even you all she wants is support how hard can that be?" Nick explained "Now get Noel to check the CCTV we need to find her before she does something stupid she is unstable Tom the last thing she needs right now is to be pregnant but she is and she will not change it for the world, it's Sam I'm worried about she could do anything right now" Nick added.

"Nick what do you mean unstable?" I questioned.

"She phoned me last night in a right state which is why I wanted to see you both now, to see if we can solve the issue or to see if I need to get psych involved" Nick said walking over to Noel.

"You don't think she's that bad do you?" I once again questioned.

"She is going through a phase of her life she cannot go through alone and yet you seem to want to either ignore the fact or argue about it" Nick said then turned to Noel "I want CCTV check Sam has gone missing" he told him.

"Mr Jordan, I saw the Doc heading upstairs a while ago, the roof maybe?" Big Mac said.

"Right Noel the CCTV, Tom with me we are going to the roof, thanks Big Mac, did I mention you're the best porter here?" Nick said running off with me in Toe.

(End OF POV)

It's so cold up here but I can't go back down, I can't face them or the patients. What is wrong with me…

"Samantha thank god you're okay" Dad shouted running on the roof "Tom she's up here" he added.

"Oh Sammy I'm so sorry, you know that right. I didn't mean to shout at you but I just don't understand what you want me to say? I love you Sam, I love Amelia and I want a chance to get to meet our Twins I so happen to also be in Love with just from that first scan." Tom said coming over and trying to hug me I just shrugged him off.

"Tom you called me a heartless cow and you want me to forgive down to the fat you love me? If you loved me you wouldn't have said such a thing" I said simply turning away from them both.

"Sam it wasn't like that, it's not what I meant and you know it!" Tom shouted.

"Samantha, I don't have a clue what's going on between you too but why wouldn't you talk to me, I have tried calling and paging you why haven't you answered one?" Dad asked coming and sitting down on the wet ground next to me.

"Because I don't know where my phone is, in the car maybe I don't know and well my pager, it's probably in a 100 pieces if not more, I throw it over the edge" I said like it was nothing.

"Why would you do that" Dad asked.

"Oh hasn't he told you, I called my patient a prat so what need do I have for it now anyway, it's not like I'm going to keep this job not after he has made a formal complaint" I explained.

"Sam I needed on the ED these been a major RTC I will leave you two, to it but I expect to see you in my office, Tom take care of her please she is my little girl just like Amelia is yours and maybe even these twins are as well" Dad said leaving us and walking off downstairs.

"Sam, your Dad does know, and I spoke to Carl he is happy to drop it if he gets an apology from you, his treatment has been carried out and he will most likely be getting ready to leave so I can take you down to see him now and then maybe we can carry this chat on in your Dad's office" Tom explained.

"What did you tell him, why is he happy to drop it?" I questioned.

"Because I told him you were having a tough time at home with your own teenager who is causing you a lot of stress by doing reckless things like himself and he was happy to take the fact that he had reminded you of a tough time and will leave it if you apologise" Tom told me.

"Tom, you lied to him so he would drop the complaint" I asked him unsure on what else to say.

"I didn't lie, I just didn't tell him the truth, Sam its true alright. It's just not a teenager who is causing you a tough time it is a fully grown man you acts like a teenager and is prone to winding you up unintentionally because he is too stupid to think before he speaks but I also know that this full grown man has said some stupid things and really want your forgiveness as he loves you more than anything in the world wait I have done it again there is 3 others I love more and that Is Amelia, Bean 1 and Bean 2 but together, Him, Sam and the 3 kids are unstoppable so he is asking you to please forgive him and to please talk to him as he isn't a mind reader and cannot help if you don't let him in" Tom explained.

"Tom, I'm sorry. I didn't realise I was blocking you out, I guess it was just easier, now Carl maybe we should head off down to the ED" I said standing up and running over to Tom so I could give him a hug but I hadn't thought, it's raining the ground is wet and before I know it my feet where slipping, I couldn't take what was going to happen next, surely it was the end so I just closed my eyes.

"Sammy, it's alright. I've got you, and I'm never letting go again" Tom said smiling and leaning down and kissing me on the forehead. I couldn't help but cry but this time they were happy tears.

"Tom" I said.

"Yes Sammy?" He asked, while guiding me up to my feet.

"I would say we are even" I told him smiling and burying my head in his chest.

"What do you mean even?" He asked.

"When I pushed Amelia out of the way of the ambulance and I told you that you owed me one and well I believe this makes us even, so the ED" I explained.

"I understand, and yer we should getting going I just paged Fletch asking to keep him there for 5 minutes about 2 minutes ago so come on" Tom said picking me up into the fireman's carry and carrying me down the stairs.

"Tom put me down, please" I asked as we reached the ED and he did so but he took my hand and led me to Carl.

"Carl" I said simply when we approach and he turned around.

"Dr Nicholls, what's happened you are soaking wet?" Carl asked.

"Why I am wet is irrelevant as I am here to Apologise" I explained and took a deep breath. "I know what I said was out of line and I know I should not of said it and my excuse is a pretty rubbish one as I should be professional enough to leave my problems at home but just before I came to treat you I had a fall out with my Babies Father and I had to let out the anger and I am so sorry I let it out on you it was extremely unprofessional and I understand if you want to complain" I told him placing my spare hand on my stomach.

"Is Dr Kent the Dad?" Carl asked and I nodded.

"I was horrible to him as well when he came over to see what was wrong and I honestly felt like crap so that sort of leads to me being soaking wet as it is pouring with rain outside so I would rather you didn't head off home until someone was here to take you as otherwise you will be getting ill" I added.

"Look Dr Nicholls I am a prat and the what I said to you was out of line as well, I should never of judge whether or not you are a doctor and don't worry about me phoned my Dad he is on the way and I don't want to complain I want to thank you because after you said it I understood what a prat I really have been not just to my family but to everyone around me and I am glad that firework went off in my hands and not in my neighbour's house" Carl told us.

"Carl, I don't understand as your doctor I have a duty of care to you and I called you something rather unpleasant and you want to thank me?" I asked confused.

"Like I said Thank you Dr Nicholls you have made me realise how stupid I have been now why don't you and your husband go and get dried off and find another patient before you go getting yourself ill as it isn't going to help the babies if there mother is ill now is it?" Carl said smiling.

"Thank you Carl, this means a lot and you seem to know your stuff I recon you would make a great doctor" I said with a smile and held my hand out for him to shake but instead he gave me a hug. I just pulled back and smiled taking Tom's hand and heading off to the on call room where we could use the shower.


	94. Chapter 94

_**AN - I have only just noticed how many chapters I have wrote o.o - Here's your next one, I wrote it while at work I was covering the reception desk so when ever it was quiet I wrote some of this chapter, Don't tell my boss on me as there was plenty of other stuff I could have been doing, but who likes Admin ;)**_

"Husband eh?" Tom said jokingly.

"What about it last time I checked I was still just Samantha Nicholls? Unless you have something to ask me" I said simply getting out of the shower.

"No I don't believe I do, well not right now and not here but I wouldn't mind just getting into that bed with you and holding you close after all if anyone has been a prat tonight it has been me" Tom said smiling and climbing onto the bed.

"Dr Thomas William Kent, you do surprise me" I told him while playfully slapping his arm.

"How so Dr Samantha Olivia Nicholls?" Tom questioned.

"How so? How do I put this, we are in the middle of a shift yet you want me to just lie down right here right now" I replied.

"And what so wrong with that?" Tom asked.

"Sorry did I forget to mention we are naked… and on shift, well that's a little odd isn't it" I explained walking over to the end of the bed which Tom is lying on and slowly dropping down to his level so that I am lying next to him.

"That wasn't too hard now was it" Tom added.

"Tom, this isn't right we need to talk about before, we need to talk about us and well frankly we need to get dressed…."

"Sam, Tom, I was told you where in…" Dad started as he opened the door and we quickly struggled to cover ourselves.

"Need I remind you two that sex before 14 weeks is up is putting your children at risk not to mention yourself as well Sam" Dad said once we were decent.

"Dad, we are barely talking and you assume we are having sex…. Piss off will you, I want to have a conversation with my partner about our children" I tell him.

"Sam, as much as I would love to just 'Piss off' you and Tom are both need in rhesus, headland caught fire after a rogue firework ETA 2 minutes, and you better both be ready and waiting" Dad said closing the door behind him.

"Come on then, you heard the boss" Tom said standing up and getting into his scrubs.

"Tom 1 more minute please" I asked him.

"Sam you heard him, he is already pissed off with both of us let's not make it worse" Tom said smiling and helping me up. I got ready into my scrubs just as I put on my top there was a knock at the door.

"Mr Jordan wanted me to tell you both that the fire patients are being transferred to AAU and not even pit stopping in the ED so he wants to see you both in his office now, and just for the heads up he doesn't sound happy" Lloyd explained.

"Thank you for the warning Staff Nurse Asike but I'm more then cable of being told off by my Father, Its happened before and is like to happen time and time again so if you don't mind I believe he was waiting for us, his office?" I questioned walking off. Lloyd just nodded and Tom followed like a lost puppy.

"Sam have you lost your mind, this is going to spread like wild fire now you have told a Nurse, and I didn't think you wanted everyone to know?" Tom questioned as we walked to his office.

"Everyone will find out sooner or later for a start I'm surprised no one has ever looked my next of kin, I've been admitted to this hospital more times than I have spent working here so either way the cats out of the bag now" I said just as Linda walked past.

"Is it true that Mr Jordan's your Dad?" She asked in her strong scouse accent.

"No it isn't Staff Nurse Andrews I just made it up on the spot" I said walking off waving my hands in the air.

"Sorry Linda, not sure what is up her arse today" Tom said running up behind me, I punched the code in and flung the door open.

"You wanted to see us?" I said ever so nicely.

"Sam it's more you I want to talk to but I believe Tom deserves to know the truth and so do you, you need to have the tests Samantha, no ifs and no buts. You were in here yesterday suffering from dehydration as written on your notes but if everyone wasn't so scared to judge your opinion this would have got out yesterday but under a read of your notes I noticed you refused all scans and test and whatever else you were offered. I understand you are scared and you would rather not have to go through it again but right now Samantha we need to know if not for you but for the health of the Twins" Dad explained.

"Why? The last time I was affected was 20 years ago and it hasn't happened since sorry if I didn't feel as if I needed to tell anyone?" I told him simply and sitting on the sofa.

"Because now you are pregnant you are at higher risk again and I know what you are like Sam if you forget the odd meal here and there it won't be long before you are back in here" Dad said and I rolled my eyes. "Samantha this is serious you know how ill you were last time"

"Dad I was ill because my body didn't except the drugs but I was only a toddler, 2 and in hospital having a blood transfusion and what for every 3 months after that I had the same thing until I was 5 and my body started to except the drugs but that didn't stop it did it? I was still going the transfusions where less regular when I was older but it wasn't until I was 8 when everything became more normal and I understood that I need to eat a certain diet and take the tablets but Dad I stopped taking them when I was 16" I told him crossing my arms.

"Sammy, care to explain why you needed transfusions at that age?" Tom questioned.

"I suffered from Anaemia when I was a child, sorry I never said anything before but I didn't really feel it was relevant but now I am pregnant I guess I should have a test I don't want to be fainting with the Twins to look after" I explained.

"Thank you Samantha, I'm glad you understand how important this is" Dad said and the using the phone.

"Sam, it's alright why didn't you say?" Tom said pulling me into a hug.

"Because I was scared, I don't want it again I can't go through the transfusions and the tablets what if my body rejects them again and what about the Twins anything could happen to them" I said upset.

"Sammy Iron supplements will have no effect on the twins, its if you don't take the it and you require to that will cause problems now come on do a blood test, for me? I love you Sammy" Tom said holding my close.

"Sam listen to Tom, I understand you didn't want to have to think about it anymore but you need to and you need to bare it in mind" Dad explained just has Linda came into his office holding a a kidney dish.

"Mr Jordan, you request a blood test kit" She said walking in.

"Yes I did, you wouldn't mind doing one on Sam would you? Don't worry about sending it to the lab I will take it down myself" Dad said and Linda nodded walking over to me.

"You are not shoving that in my arm" I told him simply crossing them so she couldn't get access.

"Samantha do it you need it, why won't you let Linda" Dad questioned.

"Because as far as I'm aware none of them know" I told him.

"Know what Samantha?" He asked.

"God sake Dad do I have to spell it out for you?" I asked him raising my voice.

"What Sam is trying to say is that she is sure none of the others know about it so Nick I know it's against the rules but can I not do the Test?" I asked and I nodded my head in agreement.

"You're too close Tom you know I can't break the rules, I would do it myself but being her Father I am not allowed to either."

"Please Nick just let me, it's either I do it or it won't be done" Tom argued and Dad gave a nod of his head.

"Linda sorry to waste your time" Dad said.

"It's fine Mr Jordan don't worry about it" She said leaving and Tom took my bloods, who knows what the results will show?


	95. Chapter 95

_**An - I'm getting good a writing these at work, although its kind of awkward writing about this stuff in a school ~ Whoops - Either way Enjoy :) **_

Dad reappeared in the room with a very glum look on his face but there was also sort of a glow to it, I almost certainly knew what this meant.

"Samantha, I'm sorry but its back, it isn't too bad at the moment so if we start you on these right away you should have it under control throughout the pregnancy" Dad explained.

"Thanks Dad, I know you only did this for my sake and I shouldn't of been such a bitch to you but recently everything is winding me up and this one here doesn't help" I said leaning up and giving Tom a peck on the cheek.

"I understand Sam and yes what you said on the roof was it true?" Dad asked.

"Is what true?" I questioned him really confused.

"That I called you a heartless cow" Tom said and Dad simply nodded.

"Oh that, Look Tom don't worry about it I know you didn't mean it in that way it was just me everything anyone says right now my brain seems to want to turn it into something terrible" I said snuggling into Tom.

"Now, Sam it isn't alright I should never of said that to you I feel like shit after saying it and I was so scared I was going to lose you and the Twins, you 3 are my life well not forgetting Amelia each and every one of you mean the world to me and to lose you would mean I lost the twins too and I couldn't bare it, I know it sounds stupid but Sam I don't want you I need you, you are the most beautiful, caring, hardworking feisty woman I know and I wouldn't want you any other way" Tom said wrapping his arms around my and holding me tight.

"Look Tom, Sam we aren't busy right now so why don't you go and sit in the on call room but Tom keep your pager on as we may need you both at any second as bonfire night is one of the most unpredictable nights of the year" Dad said smiling.

"Thanks Nick, and don't worry I won't go throwing mine over the edge of the roof" Tom joked pushing to the side so he could get up.

"Thank you Daddy, I love you, you know that right I don't want you to piss off" I said giving him a hug.

"I know" He soothed.

"Tom come here" Dad asked after I step back Tom listened and walked over where Dad slapped him around the back of the head, I could tell it wasn't hard or meant to hurt him.

"What was that for" Tom asked stroking his head.

"For calling my little angel names" Dad said grinning and Tom just shook his head.

"Want me to kiss it better for you?" I asked him sarcastically.

"Please Sammy, would you?" Tom asked giving me the puppy dog eyes.

"Sorry but I can't reach, it's not my fault the jolly green giant is where your family descended from" I told him and then ran out of Dad office down the corridor.

"Oi Sammy, stop" Tom called running after me.

"I'm alright thanks" I said turning around and running right into Mr Hansson, what is he doing down here? He never comes to the ED.

"Mr Hansson, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to run into you" I said after bending down a picking up his files.

"Samantha? How have you been?" He asked smiling when he saw it was me.

"Amazing actually well up until now, Dad just ran some test it turns out the Anaemia is back" I told him and shrugged my shoulders.

"I see, I am so sorry to hear that? Now why is it your running away from a fellow doctor?" Mr Hansson asked questioning for Tom to step forward.

"Mr Hansson, I am so sorry it won't happen again" Tom said walking over and wrapping his arm around my waist.

"Its fine Dr Kent, don't worry I am actually happy to see Samantha running about smiling but then again I would rather not see it in my hospital" Mr Hansson added and Tom looked confused.

"Right umm well Mr Hansson I know you're a busy man, Come on Tom let's let him get on" I said taking Tom's hand.

"Well it was nice bumping into you Samantha" He said holding his hand out for me to shake but instead I gave him a hug and he just smiled.

"Dr Kent" He nodded walking off to Dad's office. And me and Tom walked hand and hand to the on call room.

"Are you just friendly with everyone in this hospital, if anyone else had ran into him he would of shouted at them" Tom said.

"Hey, he's not as mean as they all make him to be upstairs he is actually really friendly and I must say an amazing doctor" I said pushing the door open to the on call rom and Tom went in and I just looked up the corridor and saw Mr Hansson talking to Dad.

"And how would you know" Tom asked holding my waist and pulling me down onto the mattress.

"Because he treated me for my anaemia when I was younger" I said and Tom just smiled.

"I should have guessed of cause your Dad wouldn't have anyone else do it" Tom added holding onto me.

"Tom, look I am so sorry for everything over the last 8 or 9 weeks I didn't mean to be such a bitch to you and block you out but I was so scared about everything especially the anaemia but I didn't want to have to admit it and I know that is no excuse but I don't have any other ones I guess I was just worried for the Twins more than anything else as I know what can happen. Sophie told me as well how you had been phoning Daniel in tears worrying about me, I'm really sorry I didn't tell you why I was being a bitch but I will now I promise no more secrets" I said smiling.

"Sammy don't worry about it I understand what it is like to be scared and not wanting to let anyone else in, I was the same when my father used to beat me I was too scared to admit it so I suffered in silence, now no more secrets, that's a biggy, I've got some good ones what do you want to know?" Told said and I smiled because I knew he meant it and nothing was ever going to change that he truly cares about me and it's such a nice feeling.

"Where ever I don't mind" I said giggling for no reason.

"Hmmm well there was this time when I was about 12 me, Samuel, Ben and the rest of us lads from Holby court had gone out to the woods to muck about on our bikes, I needed the tonight so I went and found a bush but it turned out I had actually wondered off into this old couples garden and they saw me taking a piss over there rose bush the lady nearly had a heart attack and the Man was ready to hit me so I just ran back off into the woods" Tom told me, and I couldn't help but laugh because I could see him doing the same thing now a days. "Your turn, he added"

"I haven't got anything like that, only that me and Jack used to run wild in old man Tuckers fields and building dens using all of his stuff he hated us but I bet he misses us, we would get up to all sort of mischief on his land once I even let all his chickens out of their coop once after one pecked me, he had me and Jack spend ages trying to round them up again" I said laughing thinking about it.

"Well at school me and the lads where terrible to this one teacher we used to make her life a living hell, we even locked her in the store cupboard once and no longer than 2 minutes after the fire alarm went off so me and the Lads where standing around trying to unlock the door and get her out, to say we got the biggest telling off ever would be an understatement we were made to clean and organise every store cupboard in the school" Tom admitted.

"I was such a teacher's pet at secondary, I never got in trouble but to say I never did anything wrong would be an understatement I used to be the one behind most thinks, that went wrong I just never got told off for any of it especially after the time me, Lauren and some of the other girls all snuck into the boy's changing room and let off a few stink bombs we had made in the science lab the very same day, let's just say the school was closed early as the stink cloud went further than expected but we never got the blame" I told him winking.

"So you're a science geek then?" Tom asked and just nodded.

"Tom where did you lose your virginity" I asked simply.

"On Amy's parents bed when we were 17, You?" He replied.

"Wow I'm going to sound like a slag. I lost mine to a random French kid in the changing rooms at the school, when I had just come back to school after being sectioned, my French class were sent on a trip to France to a school to see if we could teach some kids English, while on lunch I went off with one of the French kids he was 17 who was showing us around and we had sex in the changing room, this wasn't till the last day of the week for the first 4 days we just spent every lunch time snogging the faces off each other, I didn't even know his name…." I admitted going bright red.

"Samantha Nicholls, there I was thinking you were a good girl" Told said laughing. I just rolled my eyes and started to kiss him.

"Just for your information, you are 100x better than the French kid" I said after breaking apart before leaning back in and giving him a very passionate kiss.


	96. Chapter 96

**_AN - Just a short one today, been busy at work doing written assessments with the children and then I had training until 5 - Enjoy_**

(Tom's POV)

It wasn't long after we had kissed and made up that Sam had fallen asleep in my arms, I love it when she does this as I feel like I am protecting 3 of the most precious people in the world, my beautiful Sammy and my two little beans, our two little beans. I feel like such a dick after saying she was reminding me of Amy and after she stormed off I just wanted to cry but that wasn't possible as Lloyd came into the staff room and I wasn't going to go showing my emotions to him as I know there would be no chance he could keep it to himself. It's so peaceful watching Sam sleep but I know I should get back to work as they are 2 doctors down maybe more as Hansson would just come down stairs for no reason, I reckon he's taken Nick up to assist in theatre so that then means 3 of you oh Zoe isn't on shift today so that leaves only Ash, he must be up to his eyes in it out there so I make the decision to write Sam a quick note and then I will head off to help Ash.

_'Sam _

_I have gone out to help Ash as he is currently the only doctor out on the ED.I don't mind if you would rather stay in the on call room once you have woken up._

_I love you more than the world Sammy, please don't ever go anywhere._

_Tom xxxx'_

I wrote the note and left it on the bedside table, placed a kiss on Sam's forehead and set off out into the manic ED, which was actually relatively quiet for a change.

"Hey, Charlie. You got anything that needs doing?" I asked walking up to the nurse's station.

"Alright Tom, There isn't actually anything at the moment" He said as we heard someone screaming so we both turned to see a lady carrying a young child who look about 7 she had blood all over her top.

"Hey, it's alright I'm a doctor follow me and place him down here on the bed for me" I told her guiding her over to an empty cubicle.

"Right, I'm Tom, I need you to tell me your name and the patients name also what happened" I asked while doing the primary check where I noticed a large laceration on the boys side where he had lost a good couple of litres of blood. 

"Linda, I need you to cross match 4 litres, I also need FBC's and U's and E's. Please" I asked as she walked past she nodded and went about sorting it out.

"My name is Chantelle and this is my son Jacob, he's 8 we were at a bonfire party when some drunken morons started to fight and he got hit by a bottle" Chantelle explained.

"Right, I going to need to get an x-ray to see if there is any glass in the cut and I will get him hooked up to some saline and then once the results are in I will go about stitching him up, your son isn't allergic to anything is he?" I asked recording Jacobs notes.

"No he isn't, how long will it be until he can have an x-ray" Chantelle asked.

"The wait shouldn't be to mong I will just give them a Call now, This is Linda she is one of the best nurses you could ever find and she will be keeping Jacob comfortable while we wait" I smiled as Linda walked in and I went off to book the x-ray we were giving a slot for 15 minutes times.

"Chantelle I have just called x-ray they have a slot for Jacob in 15 minutes, I cannot see any glass in his side but it is better to be safe" I said walking over and smiling Chantelle nodded. And I went to go check over Jacob's notes.

Half an hour later and Jacob had woken up and we had the results of the x-ray it showed that his cut was clear which is a relief as that is one less think the boy needs to go though.

"Hey Jacob, got some good news, there is no glass in your cut so I will give you some medicine to numb the area and then I can get on with the stiches" I told him and Linda brought over the trolley.

"Right you might feel a slight scratch but trust me it will be better than feeling me do the stiches" I told Jacob and he nodded, I injected the local anesthetic and started the stitching. Jacob was busy talking to his mum about a football match he was meant to be playing in.

"I don't know about playing football but what I do know is that you are going to have a scar to show off to all your mates" Sam said walking into the cubicle.

"And who are you?" Chantelle asked looking at Sam.

"Dr Nicholls" Sam said.

"Why does he require two doctors?" Chantelle asked confused.

"He doesn't and at this moment in time he only requires a nurse to stitch him up but it's been a quiet shift so your Son is getting specialist treatment from one of the best paediatric doctors in the country" Sam said smiling and walking behind me.

"Right" Chantelle added and then took Jacob hands.

"Last one, then we are finished here, the stitches will need to be looked at in about a week's time so I will get you a referral to outpatients and sorry mate but there won't be no football for you for at least 3 weeks" I said getting up after sorting out the stitches and leaving to go and make the referral for him. And then discharging him.

"Have a good sleep then babe? You were out for at least an hour and a half and we only have half an hour to go before the end of the shift and I have decided we are going to go get some breakfast" I told Sam putting my arms around her waist and pulling her close to me.

"Great one actually, I so needed it I haven't been sleeping right in ages and only if you're paying I have no money on me" Sam told me turning around in his arms and sitting on him.

"Of course I am" He said leaning down and kissing me.

"Zoe's right" Charlie said walking over and placing some notes down. Sam just rolled her eyes and rested her head back on my chest.

"Oh, Sam your Dad told me to give you these and to take one a day for now" Charlie said handing Sam a box of iron supplements.

"I guess he told you its back then" Sam asked taking them off him. And he nodded, before walking off as Linda had called him.

"I wonder if Dad told him about my ever growing stomach?" Sam said simply and I shrugged.

"The scans on Friday isn't it I can't wait" I asked Sam and she nodded leaning up and giving me a huge smile.

"Right come on misses let's get going to the Café for some breakfast" I told her walking off into the staff to get changed before we set off back to the café.

(End OF POV)


	97. Chapter 97

_**AN - I hope you enjoy this one, I enjoyed writing it, let my creative side out a bit :)**_

"Morning" Jesse said in his usual cheer voice which I find very hard to understand how he can be so happy at stupid o'clock in the morning I mean for god sake its only 7:15 and it's a Monday morning as well…

"Alright" I said tiredly then yawned.

"Hey, Jesse. Can we get 2 black coffee's both with 2 sugars and a menu" Tom said while I just stood there yawning my head off.

"Night shift?" Jesse asks while making the coffee's Tom just simply nods at him and we go over to our usual table in the corner.

"Tom, order me some porridge with honey please, I'm going to phone Jack, to get his lazy arse out of bed and to help us move some of our stuff to the lodge" I said smiling and heading off outside.

"Sam what's up? Why are you phoning at this unearthly hour on a Monday morning, it's not the twins is it?" Jack askes over the phone.

"Morning Jack, no it is not the Twins I am fine. I was just wondering if you would like to come and help move some of our stuff to the lodge?" I asked him.

"That's great news, and Sam I would love to but well I am starting work today" Jack said.

"Oh really where, in the bed of Jack Nicholls doing fuck all, sounds like an amazing job bro really out done yourself Dad will be so pleased" I told him sarcastically.

"Alright Alright, give me 20 minutes and I'll be at yours, may I add I can't drive remember" Jack says.

"I know, I would say give us 30 minutes we are just having breakfast" I said and hung up. I put my phone back into my pocket and headed off back inside.

"Sam, How's Amelia, I was going to ask before but I forgot" Jesse asked as I walked back in.

"Oh she's fine. Fall over and scuffed her knee, isn't that what all kids do?" I said jokily and walked back over to Tom.

"Jacks meeting us in 30 minutes, at ours" I told him.

"You forced him out of bed for this I can tell by the look on your face, we are so in for an interesting day" Tom said laughing as Jesse brought over two bowls of porridge, one with Honey and the other with Chocolate spread.

"Chocolate, this early in the morning your mad Tom" I said shaking my head in mock annoyance.

"I'm going to need all the energy I can get for today as I can't see you doing that much, you're going to leave it all to me and Jack" Tom said tucking in to his porridge.

"Alright you have a point there but I have decided I am going to sort through all my clothes and anything I don't want maybe I can give to the girls, if it's too big now I'm sure they can grow into them, Maybe I should phone Sophie first though oh and also we are going to need to decorate the rooms at the lodge well at least Amelia's as they are all of very neutral shades down there What if that's what we work on today and work on moving a shifting everything out and then in to the lodge once we have decorated it, makes more sense than rushing everything over to the lodge and then having to decorate" I suggested.

"Sam that sounds perfect but how should we decorate it for her, I know she loves everything girly and all but what should we do, like her old room or something completely new?" Tom asked.

"Something new, we need to surprise her and treat her, we can't go decorating a nursery for the twins without decorating a room for Amelia or she will feel left out, I was thinking maybe we could try and base it around animals instead of princesses, yes she loves princesses and what not but we also know she loves animals." I told smiling. "And before you say anything I'm not suggesting we decorate a room for a nursery just yet"

"I understand what you are saying, completely and I think that is a wonderful idea, but none of us are arty Sam…" Tom says looking at me worried.

"Jack is, he got an A* in art and design at school, I'm sure he would love to help us" I said smirking.

"More like you're going to force him to" Tom said getting up and walking over to Jesse to pay the bill I followed him and waited by the door after saying goodbye to Jesse we walked back to Tom's where we were greeted by a rather annoyed Jack.

"Alright Jack?" Tom asked walking up towards him.

"Well other than the fact you took forever to get here, yer I'm fine and Sam I have had an idea while I have been waiting for you" Jack said smiling.

"Oh yer and what would that be?" I asked him simply.

"That we do all the decorating first, as you know as well as I do that all the rooms in that lodge are very plain at the moment" Jack replied.

"Jack I had the same idea and thought you might like to help us" I told him smiling.

"Of course I would Sam, can we get going to the lodge then, Dad said he had a load of paint in the garage at the lodge" Jack said smiling, we all got into Tom's car and he drove down to the docks. I had to instruct him on where to go once we got down there as they are private and you cannot access them from the docks. Once we had pulled up to the house and all piled out I got out the Key and went over and unlocked the door.

"Come on then you two" I called as they were too busy chatting.

Once we were inside I kicked off my ugg boots and put my bag down and went off into the kitchen.

"This place is massive" Tom said walking in after me, I just smiled.

"It's not that big, and besides once Amelia and the twins are running around and have friends over its going to look tiny, Want one" I said pointing towards the kettle.

"Sure" Tom smiled.

"It's going to have to be black; I forgot there wouldn't be any milk. I can go next door and see if they got any we can borrow, they use the lodge as a guest house but some of the rooms are owned" I explained.

"I'll come with you, it would be great to get to know the neighbours" Tom smiled and we went into the living room to tell Jack the plan he told us he would stay here and start to draw up plans for Amelia's room. We nodded and went to put our shoe's on.

"Good morning, we are fully booked sorry" The lady said while rummaging through a book.

"Morning Rosemary, we are not here for a place to stay we were wondering if we could borrow some milk. We are moving in next door and forgot to bring some milk for tea's and coffee's" I explained.

"Of course love" Rosemary said.

"Hang on, moving in that would mean Mr Jordan has sold the lodge, I must phone him." Rosemary said.

"He hasn't sold it, he's passed it down" I explained smiling. Rosemary lowered to book and the smile that hit her face when she saw me was amazing.

"Samantha, you have changed so much. I miss having you and Jack around you used to terrorize the guests but you were both so lovely, if you don't mind me asking who is this handsome young man" Rosemary said smiling.

"I guess you used to run the lodge when Sam was younger" Tom added confused. Rosemary Nodded "Oh I'm Sam's partner, Tom" He added.

"Well nice to meet you Tom, I will just go get you that milk" Rosemary smiled and went off.

"Do you know everyone?" Tom asked.

"Maybe? But Rosemary and her husband brought this place when they were about our age and have turned it into a business, I didn't thing they would still be going" I said leaning on to Tom.

"Her you go Sam, if you need anything else just come and knock on the door" Rosemary said passing us the milk.

"Thanks, we won't be here much for the next month or so as we are just decorating and getting the place ready before we move down for good" I explained. And Rosemary nodded.

"It was nice seeing you again, I might go phone your father haven't spoken to him in ages" Rosemary said and walked off leaving to door open so we just shouted bye and went back to Jack. Once inside Tom took the milk and went to boil the kettle and I went to see Jack.

"Rosemary still owns next door can you believe it" I said sitting down next to him.

"Really, did she recognize you?" Jack asked while drawing away.

"Yep, says she misses us" I laughed and Jack chuckled.

"I believe this is done, is it up to your standards" Jack asked showing me 4 pages one for each wall. One wall had a Giraffe on reaching up to eat some leaves from a vine which were draping across the wall with a monkey swinging off of one and a toucan sat on another, There was also a butterfly and some pink flowers on the vines and blades of grass along the bottom of the wall, and bushes up until about half way. The next page was the wall with the door, Jack had drew a tree in the corner with its bushy top branching over the door and with more yellow flowers just neatly placed around the tree with the grass along the bottom and on the other side of the door there was some more vines that linked up to another tree in the other corner which had a green bushy top with yellow flowers in. on the vines there was two more monkeys swinging off in the middle handing each other a pink flower with more neatly placed butterflies around the vines. The next page was the one with the windows on, Jack by the design of the room I could tell that Jack had chosen my old room for her as it was the only one with two big windows which where the length of the wall on either side of the wall, He had drawn vines stretching from one window to the other, over lapping each other full of leaves and lovely pink and yellow flowers and a few butterflies the last page had two trees again one in each corner with the bushy tops full of wonderful yellow flowers again he went with the vines going from one another but instead of just draping them along he had designed it so that the vines read out Amelia with leaves and yellow and pink flowers on each letter. It was the most prefect think I could ever imagine I knew that Amelia would love it as much as I do and I can't wait for Tom to have a look as well.

"Jack it's perfect" I told him giving him a hug.

"Thank's Sam" Jack said returning the hug.

"Maybe you should create a portfolio and become a painter and decorator" I told him.

"That's a great idea Sam" Jack said breaking out of the hug and picking up the cup of coffee had just placed on the table.

"What's a great idea?" Tom asked as he walked around so he was sat next to me.

"That I should make a portfolio and become a painter, decorator. Sam suggested it after looking at the room designs for Amelia, here" Jack said passing them over to Tom. Tom examined each page and then a smile broke out on his face.

"It's perfect she is going to love it, and why not, I don't mind if you want to decorate the rest of the room's in here for more work to go into your portfolio. I mean if it's alright with Sam that is" Tom added.

"Tom you are amazing how did I not think of that" Sam said all excited.

Once we had finished our drinks we headed out to the garage and found what we needed lots of different shades of greens, some brown, pink and yellow. It was as if by some miracle Dad knew this was going to happen once we had everything we went upstairs to my old room which wasn't much but it would be a complete different room once we were finished.

"This is perfect" Jack said opening the door. I had completely forgot that it was a pale green colour that near enough matched the one Jack wanted so all we had to do was paint on the detail but me and Tom left Jack to draw on the wall first all of the detail so we knew what was going where and what colour it would be we got out Dad's old laptop and started searching for new furniture as even though there was loads in there we knew we wanted it the been a cream coloured wood instead of a brown also we wanted it all to match and she would need to curtains and bedspreads.

We had found her the perfect bed; it was designed like a sofa but underneath it looked like it had draws but when pulled out it was actually a spare bed so that was great as she was bound to have people sleep over. We had also found a matching cupboard, two chests of draws, a bed side table, a desk and matching chair, and some matching shelves. There was also matching storage box which we have decided to get some foam and make into a set for her and her friends and cover it over with the bedspread and curtains set we found which was pale green with yellow and pink flowers on so it matched perfectly, we ordered it along with lots of pillows which we would get Alice to make some cases for.

"She is going to love this so much" Tom smiled giving me a hug.

"I know" I smiled and turned around giving him a kiss.

"I guess it's lucky I have a savings account" Tom added once we broke apart.

"Trust you to worry about money, Babe we are doctors we both have enough money" I told him standing up. "Let's go see how Jack's doing" I added and Tom got up and followed.

"Need any help" Tom asked as we walked in.

"Sure get a brush you can paint the blades of grass and vines" Jack said and we both picked up a brush to help, this room is going to be amazing once it is finished and we have asked for the furniture to be delivered by Friday as our shift finishes at lunch. I couldn't help but smile to myself while we decorated this room fit for a princess.

* * *

. - I used this wall as my main idea and then based the rest on it :)


	98. Chapter 98

**_AN - I don't thank you for reviewing enough as you are my driving force no one else knows I write only a few colleagues but they never talk to me about it so Thank You so much for always being there to review my chapters! I love you all :) - Hope you enjoy this one, I might not be able to update tomorrow and updates may become less regular and there is a new after school club starting at work and they want my help so I will be working till gone 6 everyday if I gt chosen. - sorry for my boring life story please enjoy..._**

Jack phoned around 9 last night telling us he had completed painting Amelia's room, which is great news everything is going on a lot quicker than expected, Jack said he was going to stay at the lodge and carry on but I told him to get off home.

I was busy downstairs getting breakfast ready for Amelia when I started to crave marmite again, just as I got it out of the cupboard the house phone started to ring.

"Amelia, can you get that for me. It will only be Nanny or Papa at this time" I told her and turned back to the over where I was busy boiling some eggs listening out of Amelia.

"Daddy is asleep" Amelia said and then added "Mummy is making breakfast she asked me to pick up the phone"

"Amelia, who is it?" I shouted to her.

"He says he is a policeman and he wants to speak to Daddy, do you want me to go wake him up?" Amelia called back,

"Yes please, go tell Daddy that the police are on the phone and tell the policeman you will be 2 minutes" I called back, they must have news about Amy's case it wasn't long before I heard Tom run down the stairs and apologize to the policeman just as Tom was finished on the phone the eggs had boiled and I had made soldiers mine had marmite on.

"Sam" Tom said walking into the kitchen.

"What did they want, was it about Amy?" I asked. Tom nodded.

"She is going up in court tomorrow after vowing to plead guilty to numerous counts of child abuse, 4 counts of rape to children under 12 and numerous counts of indecent assault, the police reckon she will get life which would mean a minimum of 22 years. They asked if I would be attending but I couldn't say yes I can't go there and have to look at her again so he said he would phone my mobile as soon as she is sentenced" Tom explained. I walked over and gave him a hug.

"It's alright she won't get away with it" I said comforting him as Amelia skipped in.

"Why where the police on the phone are they taking you away Daddy?" Amelia asked taking a seat at the breakfast bar, for a 4 year old she is incredibly clever.

"No they are not, it was about a tricky case at work, and everything is fine" Tom said giving her a smile and sitting down next to her and I then joined them and we ate our breakfast in silence. Once finished I went upstairs with Amelia to get her ready for nursery and to get myself ready for work. I got Amelia dressed in a plain white vest top, a dark denim skirt, black, grey and white stripy tights and a cream chunky able knit cardigan. I put her hair into 2 pony tails. I then went off to go get dressed I decided on wearing a navy vest top, a burgundy zip up hoodie which has a Scandinavian print section running across the chest and a faux fur hood, with a pair of vintage super skinny jeans.

"Tom, you haven't seen my phone have you?" I called running downstairs.

"I haven't actually, not since yesterday. Amelia come on we need to get going or we will be late" Tom shouted to her and she came down stairs and put on a pair of knit pull on boots which have a polar bears face on the side of them, I put on my burgundy converses and Tom puts on him khaki ones on as he is where a khaki t-shirt, we all head off out to the car I strap Amelia into her seat and then run around to the front and we head off to the Nursery only for us to get 5 minutes down the road and to be stuck in serious traffic. And to make matters worse it is pouring down with rain so everyone is trying to be extra careful.

"Why is whenever you are in a rush there's traffic" I complained and Tom just chuckled.

I rolled my eyes at him then noticed some flashing lights in the distance but they were stuck as no one was moving out of the way so I decided I was going to get out and get everyone moving.

"Tom just drop her off and head to work I will go back with the paramedic's" I told him giving him a peck on the cheek.

"Bye Amelia have a good day" I told her and she shouted bye as I got out and closed the door and started to run down the road knocking on the car windows

"Please can you just drive around the accident, mount the pavement if you have to but that ambulance needs to get to them and with you causing a massive traffic jam it's not possible" I told the man driving the car at the front of the traffic.

"No offence but why are you worried your nothing more than a teenager" He told me.

"Well you could never be more wrong, I am Dr Nicholls of Holby city ED and my colleagues are trying to get through to the accident also my partner is stuck in the traffic behind you trying to drop my daughter off to nursery so if you would please just drive around the accident it would much appreciated as those people need medical attention right now" I told him holding up my Holby ID.

"Sorry love of course, I will move" He added and then started to drive off, with each car following him I decided to get over to the cars and access the situation.

"Hello can you hear me, I'm Dr Nicholls. What's your name" I asked the teenager who was sat in the driver's seat.

"Sam" He struggled to say.

"Hello Sam, who is your friend?" I then asked, the passenger is in serious danger to pour lad and gone throw the windscreen but I could see he was breathing still.

"Ollie, he didn't have is seatbelt on" Sam told me while struggling.

"Right, Sam I need you to stay calm for me and I am going to go and talk to Ollie, can you just take some deep breath for me and don't move" I told him and he nodded. I walked around to the other side of the car they must of hit the lamppost, as the car was crushed on this side.

"Hello Ollie, I'm Dr Nicholls, can you squeeze my hand if you can hear me" I asked taking his hand.

"Sam, is Sam okay" Ollie struggled to ask me.

"Ollie, Sam's fine try not to talk" I told him just as the ambulance pulled up.

"It's alright love you go and sit in the back of the ambulance my colleague with give you a blanket to warm up, well done for stopping and helping" Dixie said.

"Thanks Dix, but I'm sure would have done the same" I told her turning around and pulling my hood down and Dixie smiled. "They are both Responsive, Sam is the drive and Ollie the passenger has a weak pulse" I told her walking over to Jeff as there was no point arguing.

"Morning Jeff" I said as I got there.

"Sam what you doing out here in this weather?" Jeff asked.

"We were on our way to drop Amelia to nursery when the traffic wasn't moving and I noticed you guys struggling to get through so I got out the car and made everyone move" I told him and took off my soaking wet hoodie.

"Well done kido" He said passing me a blanket "I best go help Dix" He said about to jump out.

"Take the spinal board and collar" I told him and he shook his head but did so. I just sat in the back of the ambulance shivering.

It wasn't long before Dixie and Jeff had loaded up the ambulance, I was sat in the front with Dixie while Jeff was in the back with both the boys and we were headed back to the ED.

We were walking through to rhesus where I was stopped dead in my tracks.

"Amelia what are you doing here" I asked running over to the nurses' station.

"Nursery is shut" She told me.

"What do you mean Nursery's shut, they can't just close it like that can they?" I asked myself confused.

"When me and Daddy got there and out of the car, we were told by a teacher to just get straight back in as it was closed" Amelia said.

"Where is Daddy now?" I asked.

"Oh Sam, you're here, The school has been closed down to the norovirus, it will be closed until next week as they are having it deep cleaned, I had dropped the girls off and as soon as I got here had a phone call to go pick them up as most of the children had started to throw up, Tom said you were stuck in traffic so he was late to the Nursery, don't worry Amelia's fine she's been with us 10 minutes and nothing" Fletch explained.

"Tom, where is he?" He's talking to Mr Jordan.

"Right, Amelia come with me" I said holding her hand so she could jump off the top.

"She is one cute Kid, I wish my girls were as girly as her, they all just throw on jeans and t-shirts" Fletch said smiling as we walked off.

I put the code in and walked into the office.

"Tom, Fletch explained what's happened" I said as I put Amelia on the sofa.

"Sam, Jack told me to give this to you, you left it at the lodge yesterday also I want you to go home and have until next week off, to look after Amelia but also so you are not in direct contact with anyone that comes into the ED with the Virus, both me and Tom agree this is the best way forward." Dad explained giving me my phone.

"At least that solves that mystery, and Alright there's no point arguing as you are going to win anyway, I just need to go to the ambulance bay and get my jumper then I will take her home, so the Car keys might be helpful" I said and Tom passed them over.

"Say bye to Papa" I told Amelia as me, and Tom got ready to leave.

"Bye Bye Papa" Amelia said and Dad said goodbye back.

We walked back to the Nurses' Station.

"Bye Sammy, be careful please the roads are horrible today" Tom said pulling me into a hug and giving me a kiss.

"Bye Amelia, love you lots. Be a good girl for Mummy and don't drive her round the twist" Tom said picking up Amelia and giving her a hug and kissing her forehead.

"Dr Kent, is there a reason you are busy hugging this child and not treating your patient's" Mr Hansson asked.

"Ummm Mr Hansson, sorry I was just saying bye, she's my daughter" Tom stuttered.

"Right come on Amelia, we need to go before we get Daddy into more trouble" I told her taking her off of Tom.

"But Mummy, I want to stay with Daddy" Amelia complained.

"You can't baby girl, Daddy's busy, we need to go" I told her and Mr Hansson looked rather confused.

"Samantha, I never knew you had a daughter, I'm looking for your Father though. Do you know where he Is, I need his help upstairs" Mr Hansson explained.

"He was in his office about 2 minutes ago" I said.

"Right well he wasn't just now I went to check I will go look for him as you need to take your daughter home" He said walking off.

"Bye Tom, Love you" I said giving him a peck on the cheek and walking off to the ambulance bay.

"Jeff, I left my jumper in the back of the ambulance" I said walking over to him.

"Give me a second, it's in the rec room" Jeff said while climbing from the back of the ambulance "Hey Amelia, why aren't you at nursery" He added when he noticed her.

"The School closed for decontamination" I explained following him to the rec room.

"I see, doesn't Fletch's girls go there as well?" Jeff askes passing me my jumper.

"Yep, and Linda's nephew, the hospital is going to have no staff left this week" I joked and we walked towards the car park.

"Cya Kido" Jeff said turning around and heading back.

"Bye Jeff, thanks for the lift in" I said and went over to the car strapping Amelia in and driving off home. This is going to be an interesting week and it isn't going to help with the Lodge either as me and Tom won't be able to go down and help.


	99. Chapter 99

**_AN - It's not a very long chapter but its a really nice and fluffy one , I couldn't write anything bad tonight even if I wanted to as I'm sure the jobs in the bag so I am running around on cloud nine after working at the school for a year with no pay getting a paid job would mean everything! - anyway enjoy, I'm sure you will. _**

Once I got Amelia home we both had a shower to warm up and then got into our onesies. Once we had both got back down stairs Amelia was busy in the other room doing so drawing when I decided that we could do with some hot chocolate and marshmallows, it isn't going to be anywhere near as good as Jesses from the café but as there is currently a storm going on outside I thing its best we both stay in.

"Millie" I called to her and she came skipping in to the kitchen.

"Yes Mummy?" She asked.

"I thought you might like to put the marshmallows and chocolate sprinkles on your hot chocolate" I told her smiling. She just let out a little scream and pulled over the stool so she could reach the top and started to put marshmallows in to her cup. Once I had decided she had more than enough I picked up both our drinks and took them into the other room with Amelia following closely.

"How about we make a little den, get Uno and Coco. Daddy's laptop and some DVD's and just snuggle up together" I told her.

"But we can't use Daddy's laptop he will shout at us" Amelia said innocently.

"We can and if he shouts I will tell him that it was my idea and nothing to do with you" I told her and she thought about it for a while before running off and getting Uno and Coco.

I went to get the chairs from the kitchen table and took them into the living room where I placed them evenly in a square with a duvet on the floor to make it softer and got some of our throw overs and draped them over the chairs to create a roof and walls, I left a little bit without any for a door. I got all the pillows off the sofa and from our beds and placed them inside the fort Amelia came down with some DVD's and Uno and Coco. I had also got some sweets and crisps and placed them in some bowls and put them inside along with our hot chocolates.

"Right just need Daddy's Laptop" I told her taking it off the self and getting the charger, I plugged the charger in and slid it under one of the blanket walls, once we were both comfortable I turned on Tom's laptop and put in the first DVD which was the jungle book, I love this film so much, we had been watching it for a while when Baloo and Mowgli started to sing The Bare Necessities and me and Amelia both started to sing,

_"Now when you pick a pawpaw  
Or a prickly pear  
And you prick a raw paw  
Next time beware  
Don't pick the prickly pear by the paw  
When you pick a pear  
Try to use the claw  
But you don't need to use the claw  
When you pick a pear of the big pawpaw  
Have I given you a clue ?_

The bare necessities of life will come to you  
They'll come to you!" We were having the time of our life's singing along to all these movies and pigging out of crisps and sweets, It has to be the best day I have had in a while just being able to relax with my favourite girl in the world.

"Mummy, when your baby's here can we still do this?" Amelia asked.

"Do what? Make den's?" I asked confused.

"No well yes, spend time together, just me and you. I love being with you Mummy, you are so funny" Amelia said cheekily.

"Of course Baby Girl, I will always have time for my number 1 angel" I told her pulling her into a hug.

"I Love you Mummy" She said.

"I love you too baby girl" I replied kissing her forehead. We stayed hugging each other until the Jungle book was finished so we moved on to the Lion king where we just snuggled with each other for the whole movie which was lovely but once it was finished Amelia knew what she wanted next and that was the little mermaid. So I let her go to put it into the laptop, we were snuggled up to each other again when Amelia burst into to song when it got to 'Under the Sea'

_"Under the sea  
Under the sea  
Darling it's better  
Down where it's wetter  
Take it from me  
Up on the shore they work all day  
Out in the sun they slave away  
While we devotin'  
Full time to floatin'  
Under the sea" _Amelia sang so perfectly, well I suppose she has watched every Disney film over and over.

We snuggled up to each other and I placed my hand on my stomach and smiled soon it would be all 4 of us snuggling up in the den; Amelia is going to be great with the Twins I can just tell.

(Amelia's POV)

Mummy's fallen asleep and the little mermaid has finished. I love Mummy lots and Daddy and this has been so much fun just hiding from the storm in our Den instead of being at nursery, I enjoy nursery but I miss not being able to spend time with Mummy and Daddy. I hope she does still have time for me once she has her baby.

"Amelia Rose" Daddy shouted at me once he had walked in.

"Daddy, it wasn't me, it was Mummy's idea" I told him scared.

"Oh Mil's don't get upset I was only joking, room for one more in there?" He asked and I nodded.

"Maybe if Mummy moves up but she's sleeping." I told him.

Daddy just lent in and placed a kiss on mummy's lips and she blinked.

"Tom, how long have you been back, what's the time?" She asked him.

"4:30" Daddy replied and crawled in Mummy moved so Daddy was behind her and she was sat on his lap.

"Can we watch Tangled now?" I asked and Mummy nodded moving to put it into the Laptop and hit play she then snuggled up to Daddy and he put his arm around me and pulled me into the hug.

"I love you both my beautiful girls" Daddy said smiling and giving both me and Mummy a kiss. He placed on hand on Mummy's tummy and then one around me and we all just snuggled up together and enjoyed watching the films.

(End of POV)


	100. Chapter 100

**_AN - Chapter 100... How has this happened?! I have wrote you a nice little chapter as today has just been amazing as I have the job! although that does mean less time for updating but I will try my hardest. - Enjoy._**

I woke up with the sudden need to throw up, great one… morning sickness I could so do without this. I ran to the bathroom an lent over the toilet bowl and the contents of my stomach disappeared, once I felt a lot better I slowly made my way back into our room, Tom was still sound asleep and I'm not going to wake him he has work in 4 hours he deserves to be able to stay in bed for now while using my I-pad for facebook.

_'So lonely being awake at this time and not being able to sleep, in a way I'm thankful the nursery's closed as I am shattered' _I updated my status.

_'The Nursery's closed, how come? And I know the feeling; don't want to wake Dean up! Xx' _Lauren Commented.

_'The whole school is closed this week for decontamination… It's horrible eh I just want to snuggle up with Tom but I'm not going to wake him, he's on shift at 8' _I commented.

_'Awww Chat me babe xx' _Lauren Commented.

I wasn't sure whether I wanted to talk to Lauren or not, it is 4:30am and I should really try and get some sleep but that isn't going to happen not now anyway, I'm awake and that's that…. I decided I might as well chat with Lauren.

_'So why are you awake?' _I asked Lauren.

_'Stomach cramps, you?' _She replied.

_'Morning sickness, why can't I be normal and have the morning sickness in the morning?' _I said as a joke.

_'Pregnancy eh, who would go there' _Lauren replied as a joke.

_'Because even though we go through all this crap in the end its worth it and just think yours will be over by next week and we will be able to see your beautiful baby girl, got any names in mind?' _I asked.

_'I know I guess you're right, unlucky for you, 6 months to go, I remember when I just found out, you were the first person I wanted to tell but being in Afghanistan it didn't happen. Names… Just a few still arguing with Dean over them, you are going to have the same problem with Tom, what does he want?' _Lauren asked.

_'Don't remind me! Babe don't worry about it you can be the first to tell me about your next child. Names hmm let me think… I'm only 11 weeks we haven't even thought about that and I think Tom probably wants a little boy or two, but either way I will be happy with either although 3 little girls might be a bit of a handful!" _ I replied.

_'Next child? One's enough thanks! And alright I will let you off I guess you still have plenty of time… 6 months, haha' _Lauren and Lauren chatted on facebook until around 6 o'clock as Dean had got up but we organised for me and Amelia to go down to Laurens for lunch.

I could just feel myself drifting off to sleep when Tom's alarm went off, I just pulled up the cover and tried to block it out.

"Babe, you alright, I didn't mean to wake you" Tom said leaning over and pulling the cover down so he could see my face.

"I'm fine, just tired. Couldn't sleep" I told him rubbing my eyes.

"Oh Sammy, come here" He said opening his arms and I shuffled into them and rested my head on his chest. He was stroking my hair which I always found very comforting. I could feel my eyes slowly closing and myself drifting off to sleep.

(Tom's POV)

Poor Sam, she must be exhausted as she has fallen asleep in my arms. When I looked at her she looked dreadfully pale and had some serious bags under her eyes. I can't wake her but I know if I let her go she is likely to wake up very soon, I going to need to phone nick I can't leave at home like this, not when she needs to look after Amelia as well. It's the iron tablets, she has been taking them but I don't think her body is quite used to them yet and as she fall asleep yesterday afternoon that would not of helped.

I went to reach my phone to call Nick, lucky I keep it on the bedside cabinet as otherwise I would have to get up and wake up Sammy. When I turned back around she started to stir so I just carried on stroking her hair and slowly her breath became shallow. I unlock my phone and phone the ED, not sure whether or not Nick will be there.

"Holby City ED, how may I help" Louise said as she answered the phone.

"Hey Louise, it's Tom. Is Mr Jordan in yet?" I asked.

"I don't believe he is, let me just check" Louise said then I heard her tapping away on the computer "Oh wait a second he has just walked in" she added.

"Mr Jordan, Tom's on the phone should I transfer him straight through?" I heard her shout to him.

"He will be with you in a second" Louise said.

"Thanks" I told her and then I was put on hold and they played the amazing music which is enough to get on your nerves as it is the only they play in the elevators too.

"Tom, how may I help you?" Nick asked picking up the phone.

"Do you think it's possible for you to organise a Locum for today?" I asked.

"And why do I need a Locum?" Nick questioned.

"It's Sam, she looks like she has been up all morning, I just woke up and noticed her she looked exhausted and really pale so I pulled her into a hug and she has fallen asleep on me, I don't really want to move as she will wake up again and I can't leave her in charge of Amelia like this it isn't fair, I believe it is the tablets as she fall asleep yesterday afternoon, they are mucking about with her sleep pattern" I explained.

"I understand this happen last time she went on them, it took her a good week or so of taking the tablets to get into a routine. And I understand what you're saying about Amelia, If you want to stay at home today I understand just try and keep her awake all day so that she sleeps tonight" Nick replied.

"Thanks Nick, and I will try my hardest. Sorry to just dump this on you" I told him.

"It's fine, don't worry about it, I have a locum coming in today anyway and also we have some new F1's starting, you and Sam are meant to be mentoring them though so I will just keep an eye on both of them today, If you pre warn Sam that once she gets back there is going to be a F1 waiting for her that would be great, I don't want to be the one to tell her, her name is Jade Cornick and yours is Luke Bates they are both nice people, and here they are knocking on my door nice and early unlike you, want to give your F1 a few friendly words of advice before I get going" Nick asked.

"Umm, sure" I replied.

"Hello" Luke said.

"Hey, Luke. It's Tom I'm so sorry I can't come in today but my partner is not very well at all and I am needed to look after our daughter. Mr Jordan is great by the way he will take good care of you and hopefully I will see you tomorrow if all goes well here, good luck mate, I will take you for a drink and make it up to you on Friday" I told him.

"Sorry to hear that Tom, hope she gets better soon, I better get going Mr Jordan's waiting, thanks and I will hold you to that offer" Like said hanging up. Great, neither of us are there and yet we both have new F1's starting, and I can't believe he has left me to break the news to Sam.

I decided I was just going to snuggle up with Sam for an hour or so and let her get some rest while checking on facebook I read her status from around 4 hours again, I can't believe she didn't wake me because I was on shift. I am going to have to talk to her about that one once she's awake, I couldn't care less about what the time is, if my Sammy needs me I will be there for her.

It had been a good hour since I phone Nick and Sam had fallen asleep, Amelia was up I could hear her in her room playing with her doll's or something the same as I could hear her making up a little role play when Sam's phone started to go off, I leant over her to pick it up, it was Dean.

"Sam you need to get to maternity now, Lauren is in Labour and we are on our way in" Dean near enough shouted down the phone.

"I thought she still had a week left" I replied.

"Tom?" Dean questioned.

"Yer it is mate, sorry I should of said, Sam's still asleep I better wake her up then eh, meet you at maternity as soon as" I replied.

"Sure thing, I don't know how long she is going to take, so try to be quick" Dean said hanging up.

I placed a kiss on Sam's forehead, and then started to trace patterns on her arm when she started to stir.

"Morning sleeping beauty, you might want to get up Lauren's in labour" I told her and at that point she open her eyes wide and got up straight away, and started to run around getting dressed.

"What are you still doing here you started work an hour ago" She said pulling on a pair of black skinny jeans.

"You fall asleep in my arms and I wasn't going to wake you so I phone Nick he told me to stay here with you today" I told her after getting dressed in my navy convers tracksuit.

"Sorry Tom I didn't mean to fall asleep" She said as she pulled on her white converse t-shirt and put on her burgundy converse zip throw hoodie and running off to Amelia's room.

"Babe, I'll go get the car ready" I called to her going downstairs and putting on my white converses and unlocking the door going out to the car then heading back inside and getting Sam her iron tablets and a bottle of water and taking them out to the car.

Not long after did Sam come downstairs with Amelia, she had put her in a pair of jeans and her grey and pink converse Jacket. Sam was putting her burgundy converses on and I put Amelia's pink ones on her. Sam did a double check to make sure we had everything and then I locked up and she went to put Amelia in her seat then got into hers.

"Thanks Tom" She smiled picking up the tablets and the bottle of water, then she got in the car and off we went to the hospital.

(End OF POV)

I can't believe it's happening already it was just 4 hours ago we were talking about it happening but we were all planed and ready for next week. Just as we pull into the car park my phone starts ringing,

"It's A GIRL and she is doing fine, both Mum and baby" Dean shouts down the phone.

"Congrats we have just pulled up into the car park see you in about 5 minutes I want a cuddle" I told him.

"That's if you can get her off Lauren, she is so happy, I haven't seen her smile this much since the day you came back" Dean said.

"That's because she has been pregnant and hormonal don't forgot that she has carried that baby around for 9 months she is bound to want a cuddle" I explained.

"Alright well I am going to try and get a cuddle in before you, see you in a bit" Dean said hanging up.

"Lauren's had a little baby girl" I turned around and said, Tom smiled and Amelia screamed.

"Can we go see her?" She asked.

"That's why we are here, Tom you got any cash on you?" I asked getting out of the car and he followed suit and got Amelia out.

"Yes, why?" He asked.

"Because we are pit stopping off at the gift shop on our way up" I said picking up Amelia and walking in to the nightingale wing, I went into the gift shop and pick up a pink balloon in the shape of a foot which read 'it's a girl' and had little daisy all over it, I picked up a card that had a matching foot to the balloon on it and I also then picked up a little a little brown teddy which had a little pink t-shirt on which also read 'it's a girl'. While the lady was filling the balloon up I wrote out the card and Tom got out his wallet and paid, I then gave the balloon to Amelia, picked up the card and teddy and we all walked over to the lift. Once on maternity it didn't take long to locate where Lauren was.

"Congratulations" I said walking in and giving her a hug and Amelia and Tom followed with the Balloon.

"Sam, Tom, Amelia. I would like you to meet Lana" Lauren said gesturing to Dean who was holding a very cute little baby girl all wrapped up in pink.

"She is just so cute, and I love the name" I said walking over to Dean who happily passed her over to me. It felt so strange holding little Lana in my arms, it sort of just made the twins seem all the more real now.

After Tom and Amelia had a cuddle and lots of pictures had been taken we decided it was probably best we left Lauren to have a rest but I told her I would be back towards the end of the day.

Tom said before we left we had to go down into the ED for 5 minutes although he didn't say why, but I don't know about Lauren resting I need to go to bed and its only 11 o'clock.


	101. Chapter 101

**_AN - This is a really short chapter, sorry but I haven't been able to just sit down and write not after I was told my Dad is Flying over, it's only been 5 years! - sorry that's my boring life you don't need to be bored with. Thanks everyone for all the reviews and thank you ordinarycasgirl for congratulating me on my Job :) - Enjoy this chapter _**

"Sam, you're not meant to be in work until next week" Louise said as we walked in.

"I don't know why I'm here; we have just been up in maternity, My friend just had her first baby but before we left, Tom decided he was going to drag us down here" I told her walking over to the nurses' station.

"Millie come over here please baby girl" I said and she ran over, I picked her up and sat her on the top. She can't get into any trouble up there.

"Fletch, you wouldn't happen to know where Luke and Jade are would you?" Tom asked him as he walked over and snaked his arms around my waist.

"Do you want me to go find them for you?" Fletch asked and Tom nodded.

"Who are Luke and Jade?" I asked him taking hold of his hands.

"You will find out soon enough" Tom replied while stroking my hands.

"Daddy can we go to the park when we leave?" Amelia asked.

"It's a bit cold outside Mils and none of us have any coats so maybe we can go home and have some lunch first" He said as fletch reappeared with 2 people dressed in scrubs.

"Alright Luke, I know I told you I wouldn't be in today but we just had an unexpected call from a friend which lead us here, so I just thought before we head off home I would come and introduce myself" Tom said casually.

"I take it your Tom then?" the guy in scrubs replied.

"That would be me and Jade, this is Sam. Your mentor" Tom said simply, Mentor what is he talking about. "Sam this is Jade, your new F1" He added.

"Nice to meet you Sam but I was told you where off until next week" Jade said holding out her hand.

"Tom, what are you talking about I am not mentoring anyone?" I said confused.

"Well you see when I rang Nick this morning to tell him I wasn't coming in I asked if he could get cover and he said 'not to worry as 2 new F1s are joining today and you and Sam will be there mentors' he also said he didn't want to be the one to tell you as he didn't know how well you would take it and left me to do so, so instead I thought I would show you" Tom explained then stepped away.

"Right, I think I'm going to be having words with him after about this. Jade don't get me wrong I would love to be your mentor it's just it would have been nice to know about it first" I told her and she smiled.

"No, I understand, this must be a shook" Jade added.

"Mummy" Amelia said pulling at my sleeve.

"Yes baby girl" I asked turning to her.

"I need the toilet" She replied.

"Aww is that your Daughter she is so cute" Jade said smiling.

"Yep, mine and Tom's little princess" I replied picking her up "Tom I will leave you talk to them, I will be back in 5 minutes" I added walking off in the direction of the toilets. Once there I put Amelia down and let her go off into a cubicle while using my foot to hold the door close as I didn't want her locking it, while I was waiting for her to go to the toilet and then wash her hands I was looking in the mirror and the state of the bags under my eyes was horrendous and I looked as white a sheet, no wonder I feel so crap and how has no one noticed. Once Amelia had dried her hands we walked back over to the nurses' station where Tom, Jade and Luke where still all chatting.

"Tom, why didn't you tell me I looked this bad?" I asked.

"Because I didn't want to upset you, I know you are feeling ill as it is, which is why I asked for the Day off I will take Amelia and you can rest" Tom said smiling and picking up Amelia.

"Samantha, Tom? What are you doing here?" Dad asked "And there you two are I have been looking for you" he added. Jade was just about to answer him when Amelia butted in.

"Papa" she shouted.

"Hey Millie, I thought Mummy was meant to be in bed sleeping not at work" Dad replied.

"Well I was in bed asleep until Tom woke me up" I said trying to get him in trouble.

"Hang on a second, your moaning at me for waking you up? You would have murdered me if I hadn't" Tom said confused.

"Would one of you care to explain?" Dad asked.

"Lauren gave birth about 3 hours ago, we have already been up and met little baby Lana, and she is so cute, now would you care to explain why I have an F1 without being told?" I asked.

"That's wonderful news, are you going up to visit her latter as I may join you and Sam, I was going to tell you but I thought you would most probably bite me head off so I decided to leave that one to Tom" Dad explained.

"You are both as pathetic as each other, when have I even been mean to either of you? And yes of course I'm going up to see her!" I said.

"Every day, wouldn't you agree Tom?" Dad asked.

"Well maybe not every day but yes certainly most days" Tom added.

"Can it both of you and, Don't you have work to be getting on with?" I said looking between Dad, Jade and Luke.

"Come on you two, and Sam go home and get some rest you look like death warmed up" Dad said walking off with Jade and Luke.

"He is so irritating" I said rolling my eyes and walking off towards the car park.

"Well it is a parent's job to be annoying, surely you know that" Tom joked, once we reached the car and where about to drive off Tom's phone began ringing.

"Hello, yes it is" He answered the call.

"Right, Thank you so much. This is an amazing outcome, I am glad she hasn't gotten away with it. Thanks for calling me sorry I couldn't make it into court" He replied.

"Thanks once again, Bye" He said then hung up.

"Amy has been sentenced to 25 years in an American prison as all of her acts where committed over there and she is currently under American residency. She is being flown over with guards on the next flight" Tom said with a huge smile on his face.

"Oh Tom that's wonderful news" I said leaning over and hugging him. He nodded and returned the hug.

"I think we should all get going home and have some lunch then just watch some TV but we need to do some reading and writing with you too Amelia" Tom said as he put the key in the ignition and turned it.

"Now that sounds like a plan but what are we having for lunch chef Kent?" I asked.

"How do sausage rolls sound?" Tom asked.

"Cold ones not warm ones, I don't like warm ones" Amelia said.

"Well I guess it's settled cold sausage rolls for lunch" I smiled. We had not long left the ED when we got stuck in a load of traffic so I decide to put the local radio station on to see if there was any news, turned out a tree had fallen down in the storm last night and is blocking a main road so everyone is being diverted. After being stuck in the traffic for a good half an hour we had made it home.

"Right little miss, we are going to do some reading and writing before we watch tv but I think first of all we could all do with some lunch" Tom said cutting the ignition and climbing out of the car. I got out and went to unlock the door while Tom got Amelia out of the car.

"Sam, I'm going to phone Mum and let her know the good news. Can you make me a coffee please" he asked walking off into the living room. I went off into the kitchen and put the kettle on getting out a plate for the sausage rolls and a cup for Amelia to have some juice. Once the kettle had boiled and I have made us both a coffee I got out the pineapple juice and poured some for Amelia. Tom was off the phone and he had got out some paper and pencils and put them on the table I went over and put the plate of sausage rolls and Amelia's juice on the table.

"Mils" Tom shouted picking up his coffee and going to sit at the table to which I followed suit. Tom was busy practising writing Amelia's name with her while they were both busy eating the sausage rolls at the same time. I was too tired to even listen to what either of them where talking about, all I could think about was Sleep but both Dad and Tom have told me I'm not allowed to do so until at least 9:30, great. I got up and was about to sneak upstairs.

"Babe you haven't even eaten anything, sit down and have some sausage rolls" Tom said as I got up.

I just sat back down and picked up a sausage roll and smiled.

"Sam, you need to eat and keep your strength up. No wonder the tablets aren't working if you aren't trying to help yourself" Tom complained.

"Wow Tom thanks for that great observation" I told him rolling my eyes and walking off upstairs.

I want these twins more than anything in the world but I can't do it, I can't go through all this knowing that anything can happen to either one or both of them for a start Dad's twin sister only lived an hour down to a complication at birth. What if the same thing happens to me I wouldn't be able to live with myself or what if something happens to me? Tom's right I need to keep my strength up and eat but I can't do it, I can't eat not knowing that I will be putting on weight anyway just the whole idea of becoming fat is horrible. Why is everything so complicated! I want to be a kid again not having to worry about anything, I have so much on my mind these days and I can't take it.

"Mummy, are you okay?" Amelia asked walking into the living room.

"Yes baby girl, I'm fine" I told her wiping my eyes I hadn't even noticed I was crying.

"But you're not, your crying" Amelia said and came over, jumped up on the sofa and gave me a hug.

"Thanks Millie" I whispered and embraced her into a hug.


End file.
